For the love of everything holly...
I never meant to insult parents by posting Has Special Needs Inclusion Gone Too Far in late November... But I'm still getting hate email about this post, and quite frankly, it's starting to annoy me.
Yes, I agree with all the hate mail that said there are also bad teachers out there. I totally 100% agree. Dayton and I have met our fair share of them, believe me. It appears that you have only read this one and only post and not the rest of my blog, so I forgive your ignorance.
I also agree with you that your special needs child has the right to an education like everyone else's child. Absolutely. But lets get real for a moment, shall we?
Who's best interest are we serving by having a fifteen year who's cognitive skills are that of a five year old sit in a grade ten classroom? Do you honestly believe this child's rights are being met? How about his or her education? Give your head a shake people. I'm not saying this child doesn't deserve an education or that he should not be in a classroom as he won't learn anything, I'm saying that this child needs to be in a classroom he or she can UNDERSTAND so that he CAN learn!!! If the past nine years of teaching have had no educational value to this child, what makes you think he's going to improve in this atmosphere?
I'm sorry, but my son is in grade four. Dayton is turning ten this February, but cognitively he thinks like a six year old. He struggles with reading and writing and is sitting at about half way through grade one with reading. Writing is more like kindergarten stage. Oh, all right. More like preschool...
As his mom, I want my baby to be with his peers, but NOT at the risk of his education. Today's school system believes in social promotion. Yesterday's school system was very different, but you know what? It freaking worked.
I was out for coffee with a bunch of autism parents last Thursday night, and I was told by one of them that Winnipeg's drop out rate sits at 75%... 75%!!! Why do you think that is? I'll tell you why... They can't read!!! Why can't they read? Social promotion! I mean really... I didn't want to fail, it would be very embarrassing, wouldn't it? So I made sure I didn't fail and studied. Don't get me wrong, I did the bare minimum. I did my homework and by the grace of God passed, even math with which I struggled all through high school.
The first three years of elementary school you learn how to read. Beginning in grade four, you are expected to learn from what you read. How is Dayton doing here? Obviously he's NOT. Are his educational needs being met? In a way I suppose they are, but at what cost?
Let's see... can his teacher (who I swear is a saint) make up the one curriculum to teach her whole grade four classroom? Ummmmmm... NO. I guarantee you that Dayton is not the only special needs student in her classroom either, so I'm going to bet that she's making a few lesson plans for her class. Does she get paid extra for this work? Ummmmm, NO. Do you think she works past the time her "fourth graders" are dismissed? Ummmmm, YES. Is this fair? Ummmmm, NO!!! I don't work for free, do you? Why should she? And yet, as a society, we expect her to, don't we? Why? Because our special needs kids have rights.
Let's get back to our special needs kids, shall we? Do you think Dayton is having a good time in grade four? Ummmmm, NO. He likes his teacher, loved his beloved Educational Assistant, but he's not thrilled at seeing that he's 'different.' At the end of the day, we're both exhausted, but we have extra work to do because as a parent, I want my baby to learn how to read and write. Dayton wants to do what the rest of his peers are doing in the classroom... but he knows that he's not capable of it. What a blow to his little self esteem!!! Our only grace this year has been his fantastic teacher. Without her, I'm sure I'd have pulled out my hair, Dayton would be on more medication for stress, and there's no way I would be working now. We'd sit on welfare, and I would most likely pull him out of school and home school him.
So back to the five year old stuck in a grade ten classroom... Our Heavenly Father, I pray to you today that this five year old boy will not be my son. I pray to you that if it is your will that this becomes my son, that you give me the courage to do what is RIGHT for my son and not what I selfishly WANT. If this means that Dayton is not included with peers chronologically his age to see him happy with younger kids, please, open the eyes of my heart and not the eyes to my pride. Please God, show me the way to my son's happiness and rights and blind me to my own selfish pride and sense of justice.
Amen.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Monday, 2 January 2012
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
You Don't Want My Son Around Your Kid At School? Bite Me!
And to think, it all started with this headline: "This Is Not OK-9 Year Old With Asperger's Syndrome Handcuffed."
You have to check this story out before reading further to understand what transpired here in Winnipeg, during a radio talk show on CJOB 68: Manitoba's Information Superstation.
The nine year old boy in the above story was bullied repeatedly through a period of time, and like anyone else, he finally blew up. While you and I may be able to reciprocate in a verbal argument and banter back and forth, children on the autism spectrum just can't do this. They lack the communication skills to make friends, never mind having to deal with banter and children who bully them. What makes this worse is that the adults responsible for this little boy continually allowed the bullying, not interfering or helping the little guy out. They are just as discriminating against this little boy as the kids who have bullied him. As a parent of child on the autism spectrum, I trust that my son's educators will provide a haven for my child, and protect him from discrimination, not encourage it!!! It is their job to teach ALL children to be respectful of others and accepting of diversity. I sure have to help Dayton with this on the home front, why should it not be expected to do so on the educational front?!
The whole drama of the child boarding himself up in a room using desks and splashing paint could have easily been avoided by the aid removing him from the situation and comforting him, then disciplining the rest of the children for bullying him. In fact, this all could have been prevented by not tolerating bullying in the first place! When there's an issue, the parent should be called first, not the police. My goodness... I'm sure the little guy is completely traumatized over the experience. This could have been Dayton, they're the same age...
Charles Adler of CJOB radio station took it a step further in discussing this case. Instead of inviting a professional to the talk show who specializes in autism spectrum disorders, this moron invited PARENTS of children with and without the disorder to duke it out on his show. I'd love to sit and have an interview with him. Perhaps I should give him a call. Actually, I think I will, right after I cut out a wooden paddle board and engrave "Lou's Board Of Education" on it.
To listen to the broad cast, click on the link below, scroll down to the bottom where the links begin and click on CJOB Am Audio Vault Charles Adler Program On Autism And Inclusion. The segment of the program begins at the 6 minute and 30 second point. It's not long, I promise. And you won't regret hearing it. While the first speaker, Ken, makes my blood boil, saying "I really do not want to have these kids in my son's daycare or in his school, umm, my son was attacked by a kid who had autism, and I don't want them around, I don't know what you do with them, but I don't want them..." If I met this guy Ken in person, I swear I'd shove my foot up his a$$. It's at times like this that I lose all sense of humanity, patience and forget about my Christianity. It's a struggle keeping the sixth commandment. And it's a struggle not to swear my head off and shout obscenities at people who are, lets face it, dumb asses. Anyway... the link: http://www.cosl.mb.ca/?p=1080
While I can appreciate that your child was struck with a child with autism, it is the responsibility of the child's assistant to be present and prevent this from happening in the first place. As a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, I am mortified when I hear from the school that Dayton has struck a child, so please don't think I'm thrilled about someone getting hurt. But at the core of any child's behavior is a reason. Behavior is communication. This is why children on the spectrum have an aid to help them when it comes to communication with others. Furthermore, upon evaluating the situation and discussing it when this happens with Dayton, it turns out that Dayton either feels threatened, or is being bullied. When he can't fight back with words, he will strike out. So, if you don't teach your child NOT TO BULLY OR MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE, expect him to get beat up. And as far as "these kids," I really don't want my child to be around your kid, who has no respect for those who are challenged. So Ken, BITE ME.
Many families have been reported in contacting advocacy groups such as the Autism Society Of Manitoba (ASM), Manitoba Families For Effective Autism Treatment (MFEAT), and Asperger's Manitoba Inc. (AMI). These families were distraught about what they heard on the radio show, finding it offensive and handled with a complete lack of sensitivity.
Yes, hmmmm, what did the support groups have to say? Quite a lot actually. Here's a letter they got together to write to the head honcho of the radio station... http://www.mbteach.org/COSL/COSL51/Letter%20from%20Asperger%20Manitoba%20in%20response%20to%20the%20Charles%20Adler%20program%20segment%20on%20Autism%20and%20Inclusion.pdf
Now, while I may be fuming over how Ken and Mary bantered back and forth in the beginning of Charles Adler's radio talk show, I do have to agree with some of what was said in the segment. Many families with children on the autism spectrum, including myself, agree that "inclusion" is not working well. It is not working because our kids are not really given a fair chance. Teachers and assistants are not properly trained or educated in order to adequately "include" our kids. In the same breath, is it really appropriate for us as parents of children on the autism spectrum to demand our educators to get years of extra training? Would it take years? I'm not sure, but I know that at this stage, our educators and assistants are not mandated to take extra training on autism... Who's responsibility is it to ensure that educators are trained properly? The government mandated "inclusion," yet hasn't given our educators the tools and know how to do their job. While I am grateful for "inclusion" and not having my babe dropped off at a building for the rejects, I also think that if the government is not prepared to give money to empower our educators to educate our children, then perhaps segregating our children in a school with professionals that are trained to teach our children should be looked at.
As much as my heart breaks in admitting this, my babe has interrupted his classroom with his fits that stem from not being understood, or frustration at not understanding his school work and feeling dumb. It's not fair to him or the rest of his classmates. It's just not fair... I want more for my child, and I know that given the tools, my son could learn and be a contributing member of society. Why is this too much to ask for?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
You have to check this story out before reading further to understand what transpired here in Winnipeg, during a radio talk show on CJOB 68: Manitoba's Information Superstation.
The nine year old boy in the above story was bullied repeatedly through a period of time, and like anyone else, he finally blew up. While you and I may be able to reciprocate in a verbal argument and banter back and forth, children on the autism spectrum just can't do this. They lack the communication skills to make friends, never mind having to deal with banter and children who bully them. What makes this worse is that the adults responsible for this little boy continually allowed the bullying, not interfering or helping the little guy out. They are just as discriminating against this little boy as the kids who have bullied him. As a parent of child on the autism spectrum, I trust that my son's educators will provide a haven for my child, and protect him from discrimination, not encourage it!!! It is their job to teach ALL children to be respectful of others and accepting of diversity. I sure have to help Dayton with this on the home front, why should it not be expected to do so on the educational front?!
The whole drama of the child boarding himself up in a room using desks and splashing paint could have easily been avoided by the aid removing him from the situation and comforting him, then disciplining the rest of the children for bullying him. In fact, this all could have been prevented by not tolerating bullying in the first place! When there's an issue, the parent should be called first, not the police. My goodness... I'm sure the little guy is completely traumatized over the experience. This could have been Dayton, they're the same age...
Charles Adler of CJOB radio station took it a step further in discussing this case. Instead of inviting a professional to the talk show who specializes in autism spectrum disorders, this moron invited PARENTS of children with and without the disorder to duke it out on his show. I'd love to sit and have an interview with him. Perhaps I should give him a call. Actually, I think I will, right after I cut out a wooden paddle board and engrave "Lou's Board Of Education" on it.
To listen to the broad cast, click on the link below, scroll down to the bottom where the links begin and click on CJOB Am Audio Vault Charles Adler Program On Autism And Inclusion. The segment of the program begins at the 6 minute and 30 second point. It's not long, I promise. And you won't regret hearing it. While the first speaker, Ken, makes my blood boil, saying "I really do not want to have these kids in my son's daycare or in his school, umm, my son was attacked by a kid who had autism, and I don't want them around, I don't know what you do with them, but I don't want them..." If I met this guy Ken in person, I swear I'd shove my foot up his a$$. It's at times like this that I lose all sense of humanity, patience and forget about my Christianity. It's a struggle keeping the sixth commandment. And it's a struggle not to swear my head off and shout obscenities at people who are, lets face it, dumb asses. Anyway... the link: http://www.cosl.mb.ca/?p=1080
While I can appreciate that your child was struck with a child with autism, it is the responsibility of the child's assistant to be present and prevent this from happening in the first place. As a parent of a child on the autism spectrum, I am mortified when I hear from the school that Dayton has struck a child, so please don't think I'm thrilled about someone getting hurt. But at the core of any child's behavior is a reason. Behavior is communication. This is why children on the spectrum have an aid to help them when it comes to communication with others. Furthermore, upon evaluating the situation and discussing it when this happens with Dayton, it turns out that Dayton either feels threatened, or is being bullied. When he can't fight back with words, he will strike out. So, if you don't teach your child NOT TO BULLY OR MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE, expect him to get beat up. And as far as "these kids," I really don't want my child to be around your kid, who has no respect for those who are challenged. So Ken, BITE ME.
Many families have been reported in contacting advocacy groups such as the Autism Society Of Manitoba (ASM), Manitoba Families For Effective Autism Treatment (MFEAT), and Asperger's Manitoba Inc. (AMI). These families were distraught about what they heard on the radio show, finding it offensive and handled with a complete lack of sensitivity.
Yes, hmmmm, what did the support groups have to say? Quite a lot actually. Here's a letter they got together to write to the head honcho of the radio station... http://www.mbteach.org/COSL/COSL51/Letter%20from%20Asperger%20Manitoba%20in%20response%20to%20the%20Charles%20Adler%20program%20segment%20on%20Autism%20and%20Inclusion.pdf
Now, while I may be fuming over how Ken and Mary bantered back and forth in the beginning of Charles Adler's radio talk show, I do have to agree with some of what was said in the segment. Many families with children on the autism spectrum, including myself, agree that "inclusion" is not working well. It is not working because our kids are not really given a fair chance. Teachers and assistants are not properly trained or educated in order to adequately "include" our kids. In the same breath, is it really appropriate for us as parents of children on the autism spectrum to demand our educators to get years of extra training? Would it take years? I'm not sure, but I know that at this stage, our educators and assistants are not mandated to take extra training on autism... Who's responsibility is it to ensure that educators are trained properly? The government mandated "inclusion," yet hasn't given our educators the tools and know how to do their job. While I am grateful for "inclusion" and not having my babe dropped off at a building for the rejects, I also think that if the government is not prepared to give money to empower our educators to educate our children, then perhaps segregating our children in a school with professionals that are trained to teach our children should be looked at.
As much as my heart breaks in admitting this, my babe has interrupted his classroom with his fits that stem from not being understood, or frustration at not understanding his school work and feeling dumb. It's not fair to him or the rest of his classmates. It's just not fair... I want more for my child, and I know that given the tools, my son could learn and be a contributing member of society. Why is this too much to ask for?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 15 September 2011
Why Do We Have More Than One School Division?
I have wondered this out loud on facebook causing many arguments with fellow autism moms whom I hold close and dear to my heart, even through our opposing views. The argument typically being I love the way Alberta's school system runs and the opposition agrees, however they say that Alberta's school system works better because they have oil money to help progress the school system. Manitoba is a poor province, therefore not able to financially make the same school system happen here.
Here are my thoughts, and please remember they are only my thoughts and opinions, and not law.
The city of Edmonton has what's called "school of choice." It means one school division, therefore one superintendant. Seems to me that this could save Manitoba some money, right? I mean, I realize the superintendant would need helpers, but I'm sure their income would not be as high as the six superintendants the city of Winnipeg is paying for now. I'm sure there has to be some financial savings we could allocate in places where "school of choice" may be more expensive in other areas?
The beauty of the "school of choice" for parents is that they get to pick where they want their children to go to school. Each school specializes in an area of education. So, if your child with or without special needs is a mathematical genious, chances are you would want to foster that genious, right? It would make sense then, to send your child to a school that specializes in mathematics. For those of us with special needs children, we would pick a school that has the most experience with our child's special needs... The parents get to "shop" around for a school of their choice, having more control of their child's education. There are no division lines to battle crossing or having to sell your child to a particular school that is not in your catchment area.
As any plan, school of choice is not perfect. There are areas of concern, especially when it comes to transportation. What happens if you cannot afford to drive your child across the city to the school your child would most benefit from? Schools of choice like high marking students, to better sell their schools. But even so, the city's school board has been visited by educators across the world to examine and review, wanting to implement the same system... The beauty for us is that we live in the same country, and there is no need to re-invent the wheel...
For a detailed report and analysis, here is the link to Edmonton's school of choice model:
http://www.saee.ca/upload/032.pdf
I know, I know... Awwwwww Lou... why are you making me read this?! It's too much like homework! In order to make an educated decision, you must educate first.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Here are my thoughts, and please remember they are only my thoughts and opinions, and not law.
The city of Edmonton has what's called "school of choice." It means one school division, therefore one superintendant. Seems to me that this could save Manitoba some money, right? I mean, I realize the superintendant would need helpers, but I'm sure their income would not be as high as the six superintendants the city of Winnipeg is paying for now. I'm sure there has to be some financial savings we could allocate in places where "school of choice" may be more expensive in other areas?
The beauty of the "school of choice" for parents is that they get to pick where they want their children to go to school. Each school specializes in an area of education. So, if your child with or without special needs is a mathematical genious, chances are you would want to foster that genious, right? It would make sense then, to send your child to a school that specializes in mathematics. For those of us with special needs children, we would pick a school that has the most experience with our child's special needs... The parents get to "shop" around for a school of their choice, having more control of their child's education. There are no division lines to battle crossing or having to sell your child to a particular school that is not in your catchment area.
As any plan, school of choice is not perfect. There are areas of concern, especially when it comes to transportation. What happens if you cannot afford to drive your child across the city to the school your child would most benefit from? Schools of choice like high marking students, to better sell their schools. But even so, the city's school board has been visited by educators across the world to examine and review, wanting to implement the same system... The beauty for us is that we live in the same country, and there is no need to re-invent the wheel...
For a detailed report and analysis, here is the link to Edmonton's school of choice model:
http://www.saee.ca/upload/032.pdf
I know, I know... Awwwwww Lou... why are you making me read this?! It's too much like homework! In order to make an educated decision, you must educate first.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Organization In Education Is Crucial
I know Dayton's been in school for only three days, but WOW!!! I sure pray I'm not jinxing myself in announcing this, but I am sooooo pleased with Dayton's teacher, aid and principal right now. Dayton just came home and showed me all his "check marks" he earned at school, and I am so proud of my little guy, I'm practically GUSHING!!! It must have taken Dayton's teacher quite some time to make up this check mark system, and his aid and teacher time again to fill it out. And the sense of accomplishment Dayton feels right at this very moment shines right through him. I haven't seen him so happy to be in school EVER. I have never been this impressed before either!!!
Again, I'm terrified that I'm jinxing myself, but I am so very, very pleased. I pray this continues throughout this school year, and worry that Dayton's educators may not have the stamina to keep this up through the whole year, but for now I choose to relish in Dayton's success and celebrate with him. I feel fortunate that Dayton has a teacher and an aid who obviously recognize that being organized is key in education, and that children on the autism spectrum must see immediate and positive results before being able to comply with what we as adults wish for them to achieve.
Anyways, back to celebrating! I just had to take a few minutes to share with everyone! I'm so happy!!! And most importantly, Dayton is happy. The old saying "If mamma ain't happy, ain't no body happy" is not true in my home. Here the motto goes "If Dayton ain't happy, ain't no body happy" is the very much the case. And Dayton is HAPPY!!! Hoooray!!!
If Dayton's teacher, aid and principal are reading this, THANK YOU!!! You've made our home a happy home tonight!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Again, I'm terrified that I'm jinxing myself, but I am so very, very pleased. I pray this continues throughout this school year, and worry that Dayton's educators may not have the stamina to keep this up through the whole year, but for now I choose to relish in Dayton's success and celebrate with him. I feel fortunate that Dayton has a teacher and an aid who obviously recognize that being organized is key in education, and that children on the autism spectrum must see immediate and positive results before being able to comply with what we as adults wish for them to achieve.
Anyways, back to celebrating! I just had to take a few minutes to share with everyone! I'm so happy!!! And most importantly, Dayton is happy. The old saying "If mamma ain't happy, ain't no body happy" is not true in my home. Here the motto goes "If Dayton ain't happy, ain't no body happy" is the very much the case. And Dayton is HAPPY!!! Hoooray!!!
If Dayton's teacher, aid and principal are reading this, THANK YOU!!! You've made our home a happy home tonight!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Am I That Big Of A Threat?! Well I'll Be...
Wow, I thought the drama would end with the school year, but apparently not. It seems "the woman" (let's call her A.K. for Actinic Keratosis) from the Children's Coalition here in Winnipeg really, really, really has it in for me. Awwwww, lil'ole me? Seriously? What threat could I possibly be to this woman? Not sure, but if she wants to rumble, let's have at it.
I've had a couple of moms and dads contact me via Autism Diva Help. I've put up my contact information for everyone to see, but just in case you've missed it, here it is again... My home phone number is 204-837-6308, my cell phone number is 204-771-4546, my email addresses are: autism.diva.help@gmail.com, healthy.you.home@gmail.com, and let's not forget my facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ljubica.lovrin. Anyone who wants to contact me can, I have no problem in being your sounding board or brainstorming with you.
Anyhow, back to the point, the woman is behaving completely inappropriately, asking parents if they have anything to do with... wait for it... have you guessed? That's right... She's asking parents if they have anything to do with ME!!! Seriously? What is it about Autism Diva Help or myself as a person that's getting this woman's panties in a knot? I really had no intentions of writing about her or the Children's Coalition, but now that I'm hearing that she's turning people away if they have anything to do with me... How unprofessional is that? She prides herself on all the work she's done for "inclusion," and disagrees with me when I say that "inclusion" does not work for all children on the spectrum equally. "Well goodness gracious A.K., I'm so terribly sorry to have offended you, but I have bigger and better problems than to worry about your pride. Furthermore A.K., your job is to HELP children with disabilities, children that have no choice in who their parents speak or don't speak to. So now, not only are our children being discriminated against, but their parents as well by YOUR unprofessional conduct."
I see clearly where this woman's priorities lie, in self accomplishment. God forbid a parent speaks out about how the education system is failing our children. God forbid we speak amongst ourselves and try to console each other when our children are discriminated against. God forbid we seek help for our children or don't agree with some bureaucratic organization only interested in making themselves look good. I mean, who the hell do we think we are as parents, thinking we know what works and doesn't work for our own children?! How dare we have a mind of our own. How dare we try and think how to help our children? How dare I not agree 100% with A.K.? HOW DARE I SPEAK THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM AND HOW IT'S FAILING MY CHILD AND OTHERS?! HOW DARE I BLAME THE GOVERNMENT IN HOW THEY ARE NOT HELPING OUR SCHOOLS SUCCESSFULLY TEACH OUR CHILDREN?! How dare I indeed...
As for the folks like A.K. who obviously have their panties in a knot, go ahead and blog your hatred of me, talk about me all night in your chat groups and meetings, I really don't mind. At least I know you're listening to what I'm saying. WE HAVE A PROBLEM. OUR EDUCATION SUCKS, AND OUR CHILDREN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST. In other words, if I'm making you talk about me, whether it be good or bad, my job here is done ;) Mission accomplished! Who knew lil'ole me could have this impact, I'm thrilled! Not quite thrilled to make enemies all around me, but thrilled that my voice is finally heard. Thanks for taking me seriously. It's about time! A lesson learned perhaps. I should never had underestimated the power of... ME! Learn from my mistake, every single one of us has the power to crawl under someones skin. Imagine what damage we could do if we did it all together! I hate acronyms, but LOL!!!
My advice to you, my dear readers, is that if you speak to A.K., deny, deny, deny that you follow Autism Diva Help. In my experience and the parents who have contacted me, she has been of no or little use in their plight for a better education. But just in case she may be able to help your child, I feel no offense at your denying my existence. I want what every parent of a child with autism wants: A quality education, help for our children so that our children can become contributing members of society.
Why is it that people can't agree to disagree? Are two minds not better than one? How boring would life be to simply agree on everything? It is only through seeing other people's perspectives that we learn from one another. Only God Himself knows everything and is perfect. Only He is almighty, all knowing and all powerful. I don't claim to know it all, and if messing up takes practise, then I am well rehearsed! I've held a lot of positions in my life and will still hold many more, but above all I am a mother. A mother who loves her child more than anything else on this planet, and who will stop at nothing to get what her child deserves: respect for his individuality, acceptance as a human being, and an education he's entitled to as a Canadian citizen. "So A.K., if this offends you, don't work with me as we've agreed, but you should be professional enough to help others in NEED, whether or not they follow Autism Diva Help or not. Your issue is with me, so direct your anger at me, not other innocent bystanders. In other words, DO YOUR JOB. It's what you get paid to do."
The theory of "inclusion" is a beautiful thing. In order for it to work as A.K. had planned, the government needs to "tweak" it just a tiny bit. I'm sure A.K. had not intended "inclusion" to end up the way it has. Educate the school staff, and their divisions. Offer assistance to do this, and make education a priority, not a babysitting service. That's all I'm saying. Why is this so difficult for bureaucracies to understand? Sure, it will cost money, I understand that, but imagine how much more money it will cost the government when our uneducated children turn of age.
As always, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
I've had a couple of moms and dads contact me via Autism Diva Help. I've put up my contact information for everyone to see, but just in case you've missed it, here it is again... My home phone number is 204-837-6308, my cell phone number is 204-771-4546, my email addresses are: autism.diva.help@gmail.com, healthy.you.home@gmail.com, and let's not forget my facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ljubica.lovrin. Anyone who wants to contact me can, I have no problem in being your sounding board or brainstorming with you.
Anyhow, back to the point, the woman is behaving completely inappropriately, asking parents if they have anything to do with... wait for it... have you guessed? That's right... She's asking parents if they have anything to do with ME!!! Seriously? What is it about Autism Diva Help or myself as a person that's getting this woman's panties in a knot? I really had no intentions of writing about her or the Children's Coalition, but now that I'm hearing that she's turning people away if they have anything to do with me... How unprofessional is that? She prides herself on all the work she's done for "inclusion," and disagrees with me when I say that "inclusion" does not work for all children on the spectrum equally. "Well goodness gracious A.K., I'm so terribly sorry to have offended you, but I have bigger and better problems than to worry about your pride. Furthermore A.K., your job is to HELP children with disabilities, children that have no choice in who their parents speak or don't speak to. So now, not only are our children being discriminated against, but their parents as well by YOUR unprofessional conduct."
I see clearly where this woman's priorities lie, in self accomplishment. God forbid a parent speaks out about how the education system is failing our children. God forbid we speak amongst ourselves and try to console each other when our children are discriminated against. God forbid we seek help for our children or don't agree with some bureaucratic organization only interested in making themselves look good. I mean, who the hell do we think we are as parents, thinking we know what works and doesn't work for our own children?! How dare we have a mind of our own. How dare we try and think how to help our children? How dare I not agree 100% with A.K.? HOW DARE I SPEAK THE TRUTH ABOUT OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM AND HOW IT'S FAILING MY CHILD AND OTHERS?! HOW DARE I BLAME THE GOVERNMENT IN HOW THEY ARE NOT HELPING OUR SCHOOLS SUCCESSFULLY TEACH OUR CHILDREN?! How dare I indeed...
As for the folks like A.K. who obviously have their panties in a knot, go ahead and blog your hatred of me, talk about me all night in your chat groups and meetings, I really don't mind. At least I know you're listening to what I'm saying. WE HAVE A PROBLEM. OUR EDUCATION SUCKS, AND OUR CHILDREN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST. In other words, if I'm making you talk about me, whether it be good or bad, my job here is done ;) Mission accomplished! Who knew lil'ole me could have this impact, I'm thrilled! Not quite thrilled to make enemies all around me, but thrilled that my voice is finally heard. Thanks for taking me seriously. It's about time! A lesson learned perhaps. I should never had underestimated the power of... ME! Learn from my mistake, every single one of us has the power to crawl under someones skin. Imagine what damage we could do if we did it all together! I hate acronyms, but LOL!!!
My advice to you, my dear readers, is that if you speak to A.K., deny, deny, deny that you follow Autism Diva Help. In my experience and the parents who have contacted me, she has been of no or little use in their plight for a better education. But just in case she may be able to help your child, I feel no offense at your denying my existence. I want what every parent of a child with autism wants: A quality education, help for our children so that our children can become contributing members of society.
Why is it that people can't agree to disagree? Are two minds not better than one? How boring would life be to simply agree on everything? It is only through seeing other people's perspectives that we learn from one another. Only God Himself knows everything and is perfect. Only He is almighty, all knowing and all powerful. I don't claim to know it all, and if messing up takes practise, then I am well rehearsed! I've held a lot of positions in my life and will still hold many more, but above all I am a mother. A mother who loves her child more than anything else on this planet, and who will stop at nothing to get what her child deserves: respect for his individuality, acceptance as a human being, and an education he's entitled to as a Canadian citizen. "So A.K., if this offends you, don't work with me as we've agreed, but you should be professional enough to help others in NEED, whether or not they follow Autism Diva Help or not. Your issue is with me, so direct your anger at me, not other innocent bystanders. In other words, DO YOUR JOB. It's what you get paid to do."
The theory of "inclusion" is a beautiful thing. In order for it to work as A.K. had planned, the government needs to "tweak" it just a tiny bit. I'm sure A.K. had not intended "inclusion" to end up the way it has. Educate the school staff, and their divisions. Offer assistance to do this, and make education a priority, not a babysitting service. That's all I'm saying. Why is this so difficult for bureaucracies to understand? Sure, it will cost money, I understand that, but imagine how much more money it will cost the government when our uneducated children turn of age.
As always, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Concern Over Autism Diva Help Blog - Need Your Help
I got a phone call from Dayton's school division to discuss their concern over my blog. When I met with the lady, she was straight with me. I like that. There was no mistaking her intentions, and I felt comfortable telling her my own intentions with this blog. Do I like criticism? Nope. But there's something about 'constructive criticism' that I don't mind.
The lady was concerned about the blog's affect on my relationship with Dayton's school. I explained to her that after the principal retires, I basically won't have a relationship with the school, and so far, even with the principal there, the relationship has been very strained. While I feel comfortable talking to the principal, I can not work with the guidance counselor, and as a result of her constant disrespect of me as human being, I'm having Dayton bussed to and from school, so that I don't have to enter the school. How difficult do you think it is for me to have to send Dayton back there, day after day, when I myself feel so uncomfortable?
I do feel bad about one of my posts regarding the principal, where I titled the post Email To Ms Cruella Deville aka Dayton's Principal. The post itself I don't feel bad about at all, but I suppose the title is hurtful, and it was not my intent to hurt the principal. I never thought the principal would read it and therefore didn't consider her feelings. I honestly didn't expect Autism Diva Help to be this popular. I'm still in shock that in exactly 3 months of launching Autism Diva Help, I've had just under 5,000 hits!
The lady was concerned about the blog's affect on my relationship with Dayton's school. I explained to her that after the principal retires, I basically won't have a relationship with the school, and so far, even with the principal there, the relationship has been very strained. While I feel comfortable talking to the principal, I can not work with the guidance counselor, and as a result of her constant disrespect of me as human being, I'm having Dayton bussed to and from school, so that I don't have to enter the school. How difficult do you think it is for me to have to send Dayton back there, day after day, when I myself feel so uncomfortable?
I do feel bad about one of my posts regarding the principal, where I titled the post Email To Ms Cruella Deville aka Dayton's Principal. The post itself I don't feel bad about at all, but I suppose the title is hurtful, and it was not my intent to hurt the principal. I never thought the principal would read it and therefore didn't consider her feelings. I honestly didn't expect Autism Diva Help to be this popular. I'm still in shock that in exactly 3 months of launching Autism Diva Help, I've had just under 5,000 hits!
| ||
| ||
| ||
|
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
Accusations And Hate E-mail
Awwwww, shucks.
It appears I've ruffled a few feathers out there. I seemed to have raised some controversy, and made a couple of people a little "uncomfortable." Believe me, I don't take this lightly, as I am a people pleaser, constantly bending over to make people comfortable and desperately wanting to be liked by everyone involved in Dayton's care. So, hearing that there are people out there that don't like what I have to say does hurt, but I have to keep my focus on what's most important at heart. This really, really sucks!
Being accused of not having respect for people, their positions in organizations, their work, etc. is disturbing to me. I have a lot of respect for Dayton's teachers, his principal and especially his resource teacher. Dayton's guidance counselor and I have a major personality clash, but in saying this, I respect her position with the school. Do I agree with every view these women have? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! But there is a major difference between 'disagreement' and 'disrespect.'
I have never spit in any one's face, kicked them in their shins, publicly humiliated or threatened them in a personal or professional way. Dayton does this on his own when he's treated with little respect. In saying this, I do not appreciate or respect people or organizations that are working for their own gratification, for recognition or helping our children only if it helps their political ambitions. What do politics have to do with our children's disabilities? Your own political agendas and your ambition for recognition does nothing for our children, or for me, so please spare me your hate E-mail. I have bigger and better things to worry about. When those of you worried about lining your own pockets make our children's education a priority, I will show you respect. Look at my son's face. Does this look like you have our children's education and safety in mind?
This happened during school recess, with a full time aid, two weeks ago. The school staff told me Dayton "fell off the swing," while Dayton tells me he was "pushed off" the swing. Somewhere in the middle lies the truth. Either way, I'm not impressed. When I picked Dayton up from school, blood was coming out of his mouth and face. The white of his right eye was an angry red, and I feared for his eye. Driving like a maniac to the nearest hospital, my son was speechless. I was told by the nurse that Dayton was in pain and in shock, which is why he wasn't speaking, something common among children on the spectrum. Dayton didn't speak for two days.
For those of you thinking I have no respect for you, look at my baby's face one more time. Ask yourself "if this was my child, what would I think?" Then put yourself in my shoes. Do I blame the principal? No. Do I blame the resource teacher? No. Do I blame the guidance counselor? No. Who then do I blame? The Manitoba government for not educating our educators and aids. That's who I blame.
When Dayton is playing in our back yard, I'm right there with him. When he plays on the play ground, I'm outside on my camping chair with him. When he goes swimming, I'm in the swimming pool with him. I don't do this because I can't bear the thought of not seeing him 24/7. I do this because when Dayton gets an idea, he follows through with that idea, without thought of the danger it poses to him or others. It's called AUTISM. I know my son looks good, he gets his good looks from me. But even though he's the handsomest little man I've met in my life, he has AUTISM. This means I can not leave him unattended. He needs care every single second of the day. Our schools do their best with the funding they receive and within the parameters they've been given, parameters and funding given by the Manitoba government. So, my problem is with the government, not you personally. Just because I don't agree with your views of removing God from our classrooms, does not mean I don't respect you. The minute you're more concerned with your own agenda and acknowledgement than our children's education, is the instant I lose respect for you.
I hope I've made my stand clear. This is Canada. We have freedom of speech here, do we not? You don't like my blog, don't read it. No one is forcing you to. Be assured, you will not silence me, no matter how many hate E-mails you send me. I will continue to fight for our children's education, they are OUR future!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
It appears I've ruffled a few feathers out there. I seemed to have raised some controversy, and made a couple of people a little "uncomfortable." Believe me, I don't take this lightly, as I am a people pleaser, constantly bending over to make people comfortable and desperately wanting to be liked by everyone involved in Dayton's care. So, hearing that there are people out there that don't like what I have to say does hurt, but I have to keep my focus on what's most important at heart. This really, really sucks!
Being accused of not having respect for people, their positions in organizations, their work, etc. is disturbing to me. I have a lot of respect for Dayton's teachers, his principal and especially his resource teacher. Dayton's guidance counselor and I have a major personality clash, but in saying this, I respect her position with the school. Do I agree with every view these women have? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! But there is a major difference between 'disagreement' and 'disrespect.'
I have never spit in any one's face, kicked them in their shins, publicly humiliated or threatened them in a personal or professional way. Dayton does this on his own when he's treated with little respect. In saying this, I do not appreciate or respect people or organizations that are working for their own gratification, for recognition or helping our children only if it helps their political ambitions. What do politics have to do with our children's disabilities? Your own political agendas and your ambition for recognition does nothing for our children, or for me, so please spare me your hate E-mail. I have bigger and better things to worry about. When those of you worried about lining your own pockets make our children's education a priority, I will show you respect. Look at my son's face. Does this look like you have our children's education and safety in mind?
This happened during school recess, with a full time aid, two weeks ago. The school staff told me Dayton "fell off the swing," while Dayton tells me he was "pushed off" the swing. Somewhere in the middle lies the truth. Either way, I'm not impressed. When I picked Dayton up from school, blood was coming out of his mouth and face. The white of his right eye was an angry red, and I feared for his eye. Driving like a maniac to the nearest hospital, my son was speechless. I was told by the nurse that Dayton was in pain and in shock, which is why he wasn't speaking, something common among children on the spectrum. Dayton didn't speak for two days.
For those of you thinking I have no respect for you, look at my baby's face one more time. Ask yourself "if this was my child, what would I think?" Then put yourself in my shoes. Do I blame the principal? No. Do I blame the resource teacher? No. Do I blame the guidance counselor? No. Who then do I blame? The Manitoba government for not educating our educators and aids. That's who I blame.
When Dayton is playing in our back yard, I'm right there with him. When he plays on the play ground, I'm outside on my camping chair with him. When he goes swimming, I'm in the swimming pool with him. I don't do this because I can't bear the thought of not seeing him 24/7. I do this because when Dayton gets an idea, he follows through with that idea, without thought of the danger it poses to him or others. It's called AUTISM. I know my son looks good, he gets his good looks from me. But even though he's the handsomest little man I've met in my life, he has AUTISM. This means I can not leave him unattended. He needs care every single second of the day. Our schools do their best with the funding they receive and within the parameters they've been given, parameters and funding given by the Manitoba government. So, my problem is with the government, not you personally. Just because I don't agree with your views of removing God from our classrooms, does not mean I don't respect you. The minute you're more concerned with your own agenda and acknowledgement than our children's education, is the instant I lose respect for you.
I hope I've made my stand clear. This is Canada. We have freedom of speech here, do we not? You don't like my blog, don't read it. No one is forcing you to. Be assured, you will not silence me, no matter how many hate E-mails you send me. I will continue to fight for our children's education, they are OUR future!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Tuesday, 10 May 2011
Winnipeg's Children's Coalition - Help For Our Children With Autism?
The first time I published this post, I had 2 extremely negative emails from the person I spoke with at the Children's Coalition, telling me that I have no respect for privacy or regard for the "process." I took the post off the blog, apologized to her, told her I am willing to work with her, but sadly she sent me another negative email, telling me she will not work with me as I mentioned the Children's Coalition (without mentioning her name) on facebook, and how disappointed I am with her unprofessional behavior of sending me the "hate emails." I received her third and final email as I was in the emergency room with my son, the right side of his face covered in blood while playing at school... A complete nightmare. I was so angry, I unfortunately became quite unprofessional myself, telling her off... I'm not proud of my words to her, but she really caught me at a super bad time... Here's her third and final email (so she promises):
I cannot work with you. Too bad but you obviously have no respect for me and the work that I do.
This is what was written on the Autism Winnipeg Facebook page:
Ljubica Lovrin Mary, I think that the school staff is not ABLE. I'm not opposed to inclusion, let me make that clear, but I think we missed a fundamental step towards inclusion, which is autism training for the schools. I've been emailing the premier, calling my MLA, and both forwarded me to MB education, who as you've said may make suggestions, but the schools do not have to apply these changes. I've even contacted the Children's Coalition group, blogged about my experience and got a hate mail from the woman I spoke to, actually two hate emails... Rather disturbing, her claiming I have no respect for "privacy" because I posted her contact info, which she said in the same sentence is publicly available... I ended up taking the post off the blog... She's under the impression Dayton's issues in the education system is an isolated incident?! No body seems concerned about autism training in the education system, and I have a major problem with that. How on earth are they supposed to teach our children and keep them safe when they don't seem to understand that while a child with a form of autism can speak, may also have sensory issues, verbal expression issues, etc... It blows my mind!!! I'm just tired of being sent on all these wild goose chases! I've actually contacted CJOB and they're interested in interviewing me, after the flood crisis. Wendy Thede, a member of this group is willing to come with me to share her experiences with her son's education experience. It's sad that each parent has to fight for their child's education alone. I think it's time we banded together and spoke as one voice, loud and clear: Autism training is a must for school staff!!! It not only empowers the child, but the teachers as well. Thing would run much smoother with some support and understanding, instead of school staff believing at the root of a child's behavior is bad parenting.
And then my not so classy response back to her:
No problem! I have bigger and better problems to deal with. Your wonderful school system has landed my son in the emergency room, that's where I am right now! The whole right side of his face is covered in blood, thanks to the wonderfully trained autism staff our government has provided us with. Your delusional thought of our system is DEAD WRONG lady! I have absolutely no respect for someone who lies about how much they care about our children. You can be assured if Dayton loses the sight of his right eye, I will be contacting a lawyer and tell the world how much you've helped me! Congratulations! Your work has definitely changed our life! When I get home, I will be contacting the media. I will not be silenced!
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the MTS High Speed Mobility Network
Like I said, I'm not proud of myself. But there's only so much a mom can take in the middle of an emergency room... I pride myself on being honest about my life to all of you, so I return the post to you... So here's the original post, minus the "woman's" name. If you really want to know who I spoke with, shoot me an email.
In talking to Brent Epp at Manitoba Education, and telling him how frustrating it is for me as a parent not to have choices when it comes to Dayton's education, he asked me if I would be willing to speak to the Children's Coalition. He thought they may be helpful in my plight for children on the autism spectrum to have educators skilled to successfully include them in the classroom. "Sure, I'll talk to them. What have I got to lose?"
Here's our email correspondence before our meeting yesterday morning:
I cannot work with you. Too bad but you obviously have no respect for me and the work that I do.
This is what was written on the Autism Winnipeg Facebook page:
Ljubica Lovrin Mary, I think that the school staff is not ABLE. I'm not opposed to inclusion, let me make that clear, but I think we missed a fundamental step towards inclusion, which is autism training for the schools. I've been emailing the premier, calling my MLA, and both forwarded me to MB education, who as you've said may make suggestions, but the schools do not have to apply these changes. I've even contacted the Children's Coalition group, blogged about my experience and got a hate mail from the woman I spoke to, actually two hate emails... Rather disturbing, her claiming I have no respect for "privacy" because I posted her contact info, which she said in the same sentence is publicly available... I ended up taking the post off the blog... She's under the impression Dayton's issues in the education system is an isolated incident?! No body seems concerned about autism training in the education system, and I have a major problem with that. How on earth are they supposed to teach our children and keep them safe when they don't seem to understand that while a child with a form of autism can speak, may also have sensory issues, verbal expression issues, etc... It blows my mind!!! I'm just tired of being sent on all these wild goose chases! I've actually contacted CJOB and they're interested in interviewing me, after the flood crisis. Wendy Thede, a member of this group is willing to come with me to share her experiences with her son's education experience. It's sad that each parent has to fight for their child's education alone. I think it's time we banded together and spoke as one voice, loud and clear: Autism training is a must for school staff!!! It not only empowers the child, but the teachers as well. Thing would run much smoother with some support and understanding, instead of school staff believing at the root of a child's behavior is bad parenting.
And then my not so classy response back to her:
No problem! I have bigger and better problems to deal with. Your wonderful school system has landed my son in the emergency room, that's where I am right now! The whole right side of his face is covered in blood, thanks to the wonderfully trained autism staff our government has provided us with. Your delusional thought of our system is DEAD WRONG lady! I have absolutely no respect for someone who lies about how much they care about our children. You can be assured if Dayton loses the sight of his right eye, I will be contacting a lawyer and tell the world how much you've helped me! Congratulations! Your work has definitely changed our life! When I get home, I will be contacting the media. I will not be silenced!
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the MTS High Speed Mobility Network
Like I said, I'm not proud of myself. But there's only so much a mom can take in the middle of an emergency room... I pride myself on being honest about my life to all of you, so I return the post to you... So here's the original post, minus the "woman's" name. If you really want to know who I spoke with, shoot me an email.
In talking to Brent Epp at Manitoba Education, and telling him how frustrating it is for me as a parent not to have choices when it comes to Dayton's education, he asked me if I would be willing to speak to the Children's Coalition. He thought they may be helpful in my plight for children on the autism spectrum to have educators skilled to successfully include them in the classroom. "Sure, I'll talk to them. What have I got to lose?"
Here's our email correspondence before our meeting yesterday morning:
Hi Lou; I received a message from Brent Epp
I trust that this provides you with a bit of a background and welcome your questions if you would like to know more. Bye for now, ---- The Children’s Coalition
Hi----,
I'm not sure we view inclusion in the same fashion... Let me clarify my view.
I love the "theory" of inclusion and fully believe that my son Dayton can be integrated or mainstreamed in public school. However... It seems the schools either choose not to genuinely include our children or they don't have the skills to include them. I've been fighting an up hill battle for the last 4 years, and frankly, I'm tired of it.
My son has PDD-NOS, so we're talking high functioning autism. He's also been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and global delays. He spends more time in the hallway than he does in the classroom.
I think the two of us have spoken last year if I'm not mistaken...
Feel free to give me a call, and we can discuss further. I'm very interested in making inclusion work, providing that it is genuine inclusion.
Thanks,
Lou
Hi Lou; The situation for you son does not sound very appropriate or inclusive, as you say. Have you spoken with the student services administrator for your school division to discuss this? I might also suggest getting in touch with Joanna Blais at Manitoba Education. You have already spoken with Brent Epp so perhaps you have already gone this route. Which school and school division are you in? I would welcome the opportunity for a discussion but prefer face to face if that is OK with you. Let me know if your schedule would permit this. Thanks,----
I am on medical leave due to developing irritable bowel syndrome due to the stress from experiencing our wonderful school system. I am available most of the time, with the exception of this Friday morning and next Monday afternoon. Give me a call and we can arrange an appointment to see each other.
Lou
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the MTS High Speed Mobility Network
Deja vu...been there and done that. This too shall pass...a good mantra to keep in mind as you go along. How does Monday at 10 am sound? We could meet at 120 Maryland in the CL-MB office (main floor opposite the board room). ----
That sounds great -----. I will see you at 10 am Monday April 9th.
I look forward to seeing you then,
Lou
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the MTS High Speed Mobility Network
I should have known it wasn't going to be this easy...
"Hi Lou? This is %$^&$ school calling. Dayton doesn't seem to be feeling well this morning."
"All right, I will be there in 5 minutes..."
Hi ----,
I have to pick up Dayton from school, so I may run a little late... Hope you get the message before ten :(
Lou
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the MTS High Speed Mobility Network
I wish she had given me her phone number!!! Maybe Marlene Gregory from Manitoba Education warned her before she made the first email contact. Would have been super helpful for me to have her number at this time... Dayton was sick, and expected me to pick him up and take him home. Finding out we were on our way to a meeting sent him into a melt down, which fortunately I calmed down before entering her office. Non the less, it would have been nice to be able to have the option to reschedule...
Here's her email to me after our "meeting:"
Yes, me thinks the lady didn't hear a word I said... She must not have heard me when I told her how Dayton's been to three different school divisions and that the problem is staff understanding or even acknowledging that autism is a neurological disorder, not a choice. She also seem to have missed my point of how this isn't just about Dayton, but all of our children!!! Now, I understand that people have worked very, very hard in making "inclusion" a policy in this province in 2004/2005. I get it. We don't want go 'regress' to the way things used to be where our children were segregated. I totally get it. Who wants that for their child? But I think we've missed an enormous step here... the training of teachers, educational assistants, guidance counselors, resource teachers and principals in HOW TO INCLUDE OUR KIDDOS!!! Successful inclusion is one in where the staff understand the difference between a child being difficult or misbehaving and a child having sensory issues and is just not able to cope. Also, common sense would be a nice touch. We need educating staff with COMMON SENSE!!!
It almost seems as though I may have to start a 'grass roots movement' so to speak. Apparently my voice is just not loud enough. I ruffle feathers everywhere I go, and seem to piss people off left, right and center, but it's just not enough! The people who seem to understand me when I say that at the root of our education problem for our kiddos is under qualified staff get seriously offended and therefore won't do anything about it. These people I speak of is the school division of course. And then there's the ones who could potentially do something (like the premier's office), but freaking well miss the boat, possibly because I'm one lone parent, who will get tired of the fight and just disappear as long as 'we' continue ignoring her and pretend we misunderstand her. They understand me all right, they just choose to ignore one lone parent's voice. Manitoba parents, I think I may be needing your help. I can't seem to do this alone, so if you feel your child is not being included or taught or cared for, discriminated against, is not understood, etc. email me at autism.diva.help@gmail.com.
My view is whatever option works best for our children is the direction to go. Contrary to some belief, I am not against inclusion, I just want genuine inclusion, not cosmetic. With your email, include your views on your child's education. We don't all have to agree on everything, but I see over 2,700 views on this blog since I started it on February 28th, so I'm just gonna say there's enough of you out there that are unhappy with your child's treatment or education. Let's start our own coalition! A coalition where a parent has a CHOICE in their children`s education. Where division boarders are not an issue, and we can support our children`s education with staff that is qualified to include them in our public schools. Or perhaps we need a school designed for our children? I'm not sure what the answer is, but I WOULD APPRECIATE SOME FEED BACK. Please email me and let me know your thoughts, and also email me with things you would like to be talked about on this blog. If you would like to share a story, email it to me and I'll be more than happy to post them on the blog.
I would like to extend this invitation not just to parents, but to educational assistants out there, teachers, grandparents, friends of parents who are raising a child with autism, or other diagnoses such as ADHD, global delays, SPD, etc. Come and join me on this crazy road trip, one that begins with a drive to the schools, school divisions and government and ends with a detour through legislation to make a change. This adventure will take you deep into the beautiful minds of our children and deposit you safely back at your original destination. Please remember to fasten your seat belt and hold on because otherwise you might get thrown into a serious state - and that's seldom a fun place to be. Advocate with me! In your email, include an organizational name you'd like for us to be known as. LET'S DO THIS!
Even though the Children's Coalition information is PUBLICLY AVAILABLE, here's her information to shorten your search.
Community Living - Manitoba
#6-120 Maryland Street
Winnipeg, MB
R3G 1L1
Phone: 786-1607
organization's email: aclmb@alcmb.ca
website: www.aclmb.ca
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Hi----,
I'm not sure we view inclusion in the same fashion... Let me clarify my view.
I love the "theory" of inclusion and fully believe that my son Dayton can be integrated or mainstreamed in public school. However... It seems the schools either choose not to genuinely include our children or they don't have the skills to include them. I've been fighting an up hill battle for the last 4 years, and frankly, I'm tired of it.
My son has PDD-NOS, so we're talking high functioning autism. He's also been diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and global delays. He spends more time in the hallway than he does in the classroom.
I think the two of us have spoken last year if I'm not mistaken...
Feel free to give me a call, and we can discuss further. I'm very interested in making inclusion work, providing that it is genuine inclusion.
Thanks,
Lou
Hi Lou; The situation for you son does not sound very appropriate or inclusive, as you say. Have you spoken with the student services administrator for your school division to discuss this? I might also suggest getting in touch with Joanna Blais at Manitoba Education. You have already spoken with Brent Epp so perhaps you have already gone this route. Which school and school division are you in? I would welcome the opportunity for a discussion but prefer face to face if that is OK with you. Let me know if your schedule would permit this. Thanks,----
I am on medical leave due to developing irritable bowel syndrome due to the stress from experiencing our wonderful school system. I am available most of the time, with the exception of this Friday morning and next Monday afternoon. Give me a call and we can arrange an appointment to see each other.
Lou
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the MTS High Speed Mobility Network
Deja vu...been there and done that. This too shall pass...a good mantra to keep in mind as you go along. How does Monday at 10 am sound? We could meet at 120 Maryland in the CL-MB office (main floor opposite the board room). ----
That sounds great -----. I will see you at 10 am Monday April 9th.
I look forward to seeing you then,
Lou
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the MTS High Speed Mobility Network
I should have known it wasn't going to be this easy...
"Hi Lou? This is %$^&$ school calling. Dayton doesn't seem to be feeling well this morning."
"All right, I will be there in 5 minutes..."
Hi ----,
I have to pick up Dayton from school, so I may run a little late... Hope you get the message before ten :(
Lou
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on the MTS High Speed Mobility Network
I wish she had given me her phone number!!! Maybe Marlene Gregory from Manitoba Education warned her before she made the first email contact. Would have been super helpful for me to have her number at this time... Dayton was sick, and expected me to pick him up and take him home. Finding out we were on our way to a meeting sent him into a melt down, which fortunately I calmed down before entering her office. Non the less, it would have been nice to be able to have the option to reschedule...
Here's her email to me after our "meeting:"
Potoula Locken from the St. James School Division and really have a heart to heart on how things have been going with Dayton, what you concerns are and what you would like to see for him in the future. Be specific re: the numerous suspensions, the incident report, his perceived threatening behaviour. Explain your perceptions of how the school is dealing with Dayton’s personality and how you are able to deal with it at home. Bring along the report from MATC with their suggested strategies. Then ask Potoula how St. James supports students with needs like Dayton’s. Is there a behavioural support team who can consult with his school, teachers, principal? What kind of supports are there within the school division for students with autism and global development delay.
In short, you want to work with her to figure out what appropriate education looks like for Dayton and where that can happen.
It would probably help if you wrote down your comments and questions to keep the conversation focussed so that you leave with answers as opposed to more questions. If you would like someone to come along, I would be willing, or you might consider a close friend, or someone who knows Dayton and has worked effectively with him.
This is really a fact-finding mission for you and should help you get a clearer idea of how Dayton can be supported to have a successful educational experience at school.
Let me know how things go. ----
Yes, me thinks the lady didn't hear a word I said... She must not have heard me when I told her how Dayton's been to three different school divisions and that the problem is staff understanding or even acknowledging that autism is a neurological disorder, not a choice. She also seem to have missed my point of how this isn't just about Dayton, but all of our children!!! Now, I understand that people have worked very, very hard in making "inclusion" a policy in this province in 2004/2005. I get it. We don't want go 'regress' to the way things used to be where our children were segregated. I totally get it. Who wants that for their child? But I think we've missed an enormous step here... the training of teachers, educational assistants, guidance counselors, resource teachers and principals in HOW TO INCLUDE OUR KIDDOS!!! Successful inclusion is one in where the staff understand the difference between a child being difficult or misbehaving and a child having sensory issues and is just not able to cope. Also, common sense would be a nice touch. We need educating staff with COMMON SENSE!!!
It almost seems as though I may have to start a 'grass roots movement' so to speak. Apparently my voice is just not loud enough. I ruffle feathers everywhere I go, and seem to piss people off left, right and center, but it's just not enough! The people who seem to understand me when I say that at the root of our education problem for our kiddos is under qualified staff get seriously offended and therefore won't do anything about it. These people I speak of is the school division of course. And then there's the ones who could potentially do something (like the premier's office), but freaking well miss the boat, possibly because I'm one lone parent, who will get tired of the fight and just disappear as long as 'we' continue ignoring her and pretend we misunderstand her. They understand me all right, they just choose to ignore one lone parent's voice. Manitoba parents, I think I may be needing your help. I can't seem to do this alone, so if you feel your child is not being included or taught or cared for, discriminated against, is not understood, etc. email me at autism.diva.help@gmail.com.
My view is whatever option works best for our children is the direction to go. Contrary to some belief, I am not against inclusion, I just want genuine inclusion, not cosmetic. With your email, include your views on your child's education. We don't all have to agree on everything, but I see over 2,700 views on this blog since I started it on February 28th, so I'm just gonna say there's enough of you out there that are unhappy with your child's treatment or education. Let's start our own coalition! A coalition where a parent has a CHOICE in their children`s education. Where division boarders are not an issue, and we can support our children`s education with staff that is qualified to include them in our public schools. Or perhaps we need a school designed for our children? I'm not sure what the answer is, but I WOULD APPRECIATE SOME FEED BACK. Please email me and let me know your thoughts, and also email me with things you would like to be talked about on this blog. If you would like to share a story, email it to me and I'll be more than happy to post them on the blog.
I would like to extend this invitation not just to parents, but to educational assistants out there, teachers, grandparents, friends of parents who are raising a child with autism, or other diagnoses such as ADHD, global delays, SPD, etc. Come and join me on this crazy road trip, one that begins with a drive to the schools, school divisions and government and ends with a detour through legislation to make a change. This adventure will take you deep into the beautiful minds of our children and deposit you safely back at your original destination. Please remember to fasten your seat belt and hold on because otherwise you might get thrown into a serious state - and that's seldom a fun place to be. Advocate with me! In your email, include an organizational name you'd like for us to be known as. LET'S DO THIS!
Even though the Children's Coalition information is PUBLICLY AVAILABLE, here's her information to shorten your search.
Community Living - Manitoba
#6-120 Maryland Street
Winnipeg, MB
R3G 1L1
Phone: 786-1607
organization's email: aclmb@alcmb.ca
website: www.aclmb.ca
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Finally, A Response From The Premier's Office!!!
Remember my post titled "An Email To The Premier Of Manitoba Regarding Our Children With Autism Spectrum Disorders?" I sent that email on April 26th. Getting impatient, as we all know how impatient I am, I decide to call the Premier's office.
Premier's answering service: "Your email is under review."
"Under review? What does that mean?"
"I'm not sure..."
"You're not sure?! Could you pass the phone to someone who can help me?"
"Yeah, can you hold?"
Silence. Not even elevator music. On hold for five minutes. Do you know how long five minutes is when there's no music and you're ticked beyond belief? It's a looooooooooong time. By the time the poor girl got back on the phone, I was ready to scream.
She gets back on the phone: "Your email is under review, meaning 'they're' looking at it."
"Does that mean 'they're' reading it now? How long until someone calls me to discuss my email?"
"I'm not sure..."
"Well, put me on hold and find out, or get someone who does know on the phone!" I've lost all patience now. I have things to do and people to annoy. Ugh! I'm betting she's blond and her name is Bubbles. I'm wondering if she's the coffee and donut girl.
Bubbles finally gets back on the phone, stammering: "Reviews take between one and two weeks, then someone will get back to you."
"I don't have two weeks. I'm very upset, and I've just been handed a five page "Threat Incident Form" from my son's school because the teacher feels my son puts her life in danger. It seems the school thinks a 60 lb 9 year old is able to kill a 170 lb adult woman. Each page is stamped with the word "CONFIDENTIAL." I'm guessing this has to do with your office transferring the call I made to you last week to my MLA, who in turn called Manitoba Education. Manitoba Education in turn called me as well as Dayton's school. The principal threw the five page "Threat Incident Report" at me and through flaring nostrils told me Manitoba Education was paying them a visit. Awwwwwwesoooooome... So you see, I need to talk to someone NOW!!!"
Bubbles: "Ummm, OK, would you like me to leave a message?"
"Ummmm, yeah! Do that!"
About an hour later, I get an email:
Of course, I lost my ever living mind. Did Judith bother to read my email, or just saw the word autism and decided to forward the email to Manitoba Education? Seriously?! I had been calling the Premier's office since noon yesterday, when I received the email. I've left at least a dozen messages for Judith to call me back. This afternoon, I snapped. I call the Premier's office at 3:26pm this afternoon, and guess who answers the phone... That's right, it's miss Bubbles! Oh joy!
"Hi, I just spoke to you a couple of minutes ago, and quite frankly, I'm done talking to you after this phone call. I've left a dozen messages for Judith already, so I want you to leave her a new message. Tell her I'm mad. Tell her I've spoken to CJOB radio station and told them my story. They're interested in doing an interview with me. You let her know that if I don't hear back from her by 4pm tomorrow, I'm not only doing the interview with CJOB, but I'm going to Global TV and CTV and the Winnipeg Sun. Any questions?"
Half an hour later, I get a call from Judith. Had I known that all I had to do is threaten her, I would have made this threat in my email to the Premier.
Judith sounded concerned about my fight for Dayton's education, completely missing the boat.
"This is not just about Dayton Judith, this is about all kids with disabilities. 1% of our children are now being diagnosed with some form of autism. This 1% does not include the rest of the disabilities children are being diagnosed with. We have a problem in our education system. Parents are forced into bankruptcy because they have no faith in our education system and have to home school their children. During today's "The Town Hall" on CJOB, a concerned parent asked the Premier why his teenage daughter's high school has 2 law textbooks for the entire class. The teacher has to photocopy the textbook for the rest of the class. WE HAVE A PROBLEM! It needs to be addressed! This is not something Manitoba Education can change, only our Premier can, which is why I emailed him, only to have YOU respond to me. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE."
I continued with my views on "inclusion" and how I really loved the "theory" of "inclusion," our children are not experiencing genuine inclusion. As parents we don't have a choice in our children's education, nor do the schools get help with our children from the government, other than money. We need more services, more Occupational Therapists, more Speech Therapists, more autism savy educators and teacher's assistants... etc.
She promised my concerns are not falling on deaf ears, and that she will be calling me back. I told her not to bother unless I get an appointment with the premier. And if I don't... I told her to let him know that I will be talking to him on CJOB in person during his "The Town Hall" interviews every first Tuesday of the month from 11am to noon Central time!
Let's see what happens, shall we?!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Premier's answering service: "Your email is under review."
"Under review? What does that mean?"
"I'm not sure..."
"You're not sure?! Could you pass the phone to someone who can help me?"
"Yeah, can you hold?"
Silence. Not even elevator music. On hold for five minutes. Do you know how long five minutes is when there's no music and you're ticked beyond belief? It's a looooooooooong time. By the time the poor girl got back on the phone, I was ready to scream.
She gets back on the phone: "Your email is under review, meaning 'they're' looking at it."
"Does that mean 'they're' reading it now? How long until someone calls me to discuss my email?"
"I'm not sure..."
"Well, put me on hold and find out, or get someone who does know on the phone!" I've lost all patience now. I have things to do and people to annoy. Ugh! I'm betting she's blond and her name is Bubbles. I'm wondering if she's the coffee and donut girl.
Bubbles finally gets back on the phone, stammering: "Reviews take between one and two weeks, then someone will get back to you."
"I don't have two weeks. I'm very upset, and I've just been handed a five page "Threat Incident Form" from my son's school because the teacher feels my son puts her life in danger. It seems the school thinks a 60 lb 9 year old is able to kill a 170 lb adult woman. Each page is stamped with the word "CONFIDENTIAL." I'm guessing this has to do with your office transferring the call I made to you last week to my MLA, who in turn called Manitoba Education. Manitoba Education in turn called me as well as Dayton's school. The principal threw the five page "Threat Incident Report" at me and through flaring nostrils told me Manitoba Education was paying them a visit. Awwwwwwesoooooome... So you see, I need to talk to someone NOW!!!"
Bubbles: "Ummm, OK, would you like me to leave a message?"
"Ummmm, yeah! Do that!"
About an hour later, I get an email:
May 2, 2011
Lou Lovrin
Dear Ms Lovrin:
On behalf of the Honourable Greg Selinger, Premier of Manitoba, I would like to thank you for your recent email.
We have taken the liberty of forwarding a copy of your correspondence to Honourable Nancy Allan, Minister of Education, and to Honourable Gord Mackintosh, Minister of Family Services for their consideration and response.
Once again, thank you for writing to Premier Selinger.
Sincerely,
Judith Baldwin
Coordinator of the
Premier’s Secretariat
Of course, I lost my ever living mind. Did Judith bother to read my email, or just saw the word autism and decided to forward the email to Manitoba Education? Seriously?! I had been calling the Premier's office since noon yesterday, when I received the email. I've left at least a dozen messages for Judith to call me back. This afternoon, I snapped. I call the Premier's office at 3:26pm this afternoon, and guess who answers the phone... That's right, it's miss Bubbles! Oh joy!
"Hi, I just spoke to you a couple of minutes ago, and quite frankly, I'm done talking to you after this phone call. I've left a dozen messages for Judith already, so I want you to leave her a new message. Tell her I'm mad. Tell her I've spoken to CJOB radio station and told them my story. They're interested in doing an interview with me. You let her know that if I don't hear back from her by 4pm tomorrow, I'm not only doing the interview with CJOB, but I'm going to Global TV and CTV and the Winnipeg Sun. Any questions?"
Half an hour later, I get a call from Judith. Had I known that all I had to do is threaten her, I would have made this threat in my email to the Premier.
Judith sounded concerned about my fight for Dayton's education, completely missing the boat.
"This is not just about Dayton Judith, this is about all kids with disabilities. 1% of our children are now being diagnosed with some form of autism. This 1% does not include the rest of the disabilities children are being diagnosed with. We have a problem in our education system. Parents are forced into bankruptcy because they have no faith in our education system and have to home school their children. During today's "The Town Hall" on CJOB, a concerned parent asked the Premier why his teenage daughter's high school has 2 law textbooks for the entire class. The teacher has to photocopy the textbook for the rest of the class. WE HAVE A PROBLEM! It needs to be addressed! This is not something Manitoba Education can change, only our Premier can, which is why I emailed him, only to have YOU respond to me. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE."
I continued with my views on "inclusion" and how I really loved the "theory" of "inclusion," our children are not experiencing genuine inclusion. As parents we don't have a choice in our children's education, nor do the schools get help with our children from the government, other than money. We need more services, more Occupational Therapists, more Speech Therapists, more autism savy educators and teacher's assistants... etc.
She promised my concerns are not falling on deaf ears, and that she will be calling me back. I told her not to bother unless I get an appointment with the premier. And if I don't... I told her to let him know that I will be talking to him on CJOB in person during his "The Town Hall" interviews every first Tuesday of the month from 11am to noon Central time!
Let's see what happens, shall we?!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Friday, 29 April 2011
Common Sense So Rare It's A Super Power
Before Dayton's diagnosis of PDD-NOS (a very, very high functioning form of autism), with no IEP (Individual Education Plan) in place, Dayton was failing kindergarten of all grades. When I asked the school to hold him back and that I believed Dayton should repeat kindergarten as he started it late (in November, due to daycare issues), I was informed that the school division did not believe in failing students, and no, as a parent, I did not have the right to hold my child back a year. While agreeing with me that Dayton did not meet the educational expectations for the school year, and that he would most likely not be school ready for grade one, the division's policy is not to fail him. Would Dayton have even understood that he had failed kindergarten unless the teacher pointed this out to him? Most likely not. Failing kindergarten made perfect sense to me. Especially since life got in the way. My intent was to hold him back till the following year to enroll him in Kindergarten...
My little man didn't meet the educational expectations for grade one either. Although this year, he did have an IEP in place. "Can we please hold him back and have him repeat grade one?" "No, we don't believe in failing students... Even living in a different school division didn't help solve Dayton's educational needs. The rules are the rules... What about education?! I gave up discussing keeping Dayton back in grade two. He is now in grade three, and has not mastered the basics of reading, writing and mathematics. He is coming home very frustrated, telling me his brain hurts. The teacher does not believe in sending homework home for her students, so I do my best to try making some homework for him. I purchased a grade one curriculum book from Scholar's choice (Dayton's cognitive skills are of a child half way through grade one), and he looks at me and says "What's the point momma, I'm stupid." Yes... social promotion (continually passing him from one grade to the next, whether or not he's met the educational expectations) is definitely helping his self esteem, isn't it?! It seems to me that Dayton's low self esteem stems from not mastering the basics as the rest of his class has. Furthermore, perhaps failing a grade would motivate him to work in the classroom setting... Dayton struggles to do this not only because of his diagnoses of PDD-NOS, ADHD, and global delays, but because his full time aid is not trained to guide him to do his work. The aid is not in charge of my child, Dayton is in charge of him as well as the class. The school corrects his behavior by suspending him... Let's get serious for a moment, shall we? Suspending a child at 7, 8 and 9 years old is not a consequence to the child. It is a punishment for the parent. And yes, Dayton has been suspended since he was 7 years old. His view of suspension is not "oops, I really messed up, I need to get my act together." His view is more like "thank God I'm out of here!!!" Sometimes children need CONSEQUENCES in order to be motivated. If it is truly embarrassing and a blow to a child's self esteem to fail a grade, then perhaps facing the consequence of failing will motivate children to work. Worked for me as a kid. Makes sense to me!
I had a candid discussion with Dayton's principal last Thursday, discussing keeping Dayton back a year and having him repeat grade three next year. I tried explaining to her that Dayton is fully aware that the rest of the class is far more advanced than Dayton, that it's no wonder that Dayton doesn't want to work in the classroom. He's totally fine sitting on his own and listening to his teacher talk to the class, but once he's put into a "group discussion" with the other kids, he hides under his desk or misbehaves so he doesn't have to show his "group" that he doesn't understand what he should be doing... Dayton's behavior is becoming out of control, and then I get the phone call to come pick him up early from school... Every grade continues on the basics learned from the previous grade, and Dayton has missed so much! And all this with a "full time aid at his side." I stated my fears on what will happen when Dayton is older, expected to open a text book to learn about Science or English and expected to produce a report, when he can't read or write.
The principal told me not to worry, as teachers no longer taught "curriculum" and taught each individual student by their learning capacity and that teaching from a text book is a thing of the past. No one learns from text books anymore... ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Furthermore, the principal insist on passing Dayton to grade four next year, as it is more harmful to his self esteem if he has to repeat a grade than it is not meeting the educational expectations. My son's self esteem has crashed to zero by knowing he is far behind his peers, and she sees him repeating grade three as being offensive to his self esteem? What about his education?! I need him to be able to read a job application and fill it out when he's eighteen... I know I'm worrying way too much and thinking way too far ahead in the future, but my goodness... Why is the school system not as concerned as I am about Dayton's progress? While I realize that his autism provides him with an IEP because of his learning disability, it doesn't mean he shouldn't be taught!
Every school division in Winnipeg has adopted this policy!!! Words can not describe how insane I think this policy is. My child needs an education! Every child out there needs an education! What about our children's future? Again, I'm not talking only about children with special needs, I'm talking about our future LITERALLY. We seem to be a generation away from barbarism. "Oh, you can't read? No worries kid, you're gonna pass anyway... You can't do basic math? Don't worry about it mom and dad, we won't fail him." So these kids are going to pass their current grade, but what about the following year where they continue where they've left off in reading and math, building on what they were supposed to have learned the year before? How do you expect these kids to build on what they haven't mastered?!
I am not concerned only about my son. I am also concerned with children who are deemed "normal." Ugh! I hate that word: "normal." We view schools as the place for children to gain knowledge, skills and values to live their lives effectively as workers and citizens. While I agree that this is also the parents role in their child's education, the school is ultimately responsible for their education, otherwise, why would we send our kids to school? Our children, our future, are graduating high school and at least half of them are graduating without meeting the educational expectations!!! Did you not see them last week at the annual 4/20 marijuana protest rally in front of the legislation building? My neighbor's daughter was telling me that half of her high school population was there!
My friend's son who is 6 years old and in grade one has no disability label. Early in the year, at the end of September, my friend was approached by her son's teacher and told her that her little guy needs a "reading recovery program" because he was not reading as well as the rest of the class. It is now April, and the little guy is STILL ON A WAITING LIST. Will the school fail him? Absolutely not. Whether or not he learns to read is not as important as his "social promotion." The little guy will be going to grade two next September, whether or not he is able to read, putting him farther and farther behind the rest of his peers, because they don't want to hurt his "self esteem." Can they honestly not see that his inability to read is hurting his self esteem more? Can they not see that being able to master the basics of reading will give him the self esteem they are trying to give him in the first place? No, no... sending him home with the same book at minimum of twice a week titled "Buttons Buttons" will help his self esteem. The poor kid has the book memorized, and is not even looking at the pages or the words on the page. Does this sound like true learning? No to this little boy's parent it doesn't, and it doesn't to me either. Even though my friend wrote a note to her son's teacher, asking not to send this book home with him again, they disregarded her note and sent "Buttons Buttons" back home with the little guy the very next day!!! In what moment of insanity did someone decide that this is acceptable? Can they not find a book on zippers or something?! Anything?! If that's all they have to read, I think we're in some serious trouble... It just doesn't make sense!
I do have one thing to be grateful for... My step daughter Charlie-Anne... she is every teacher's dream student. She's smart, she's funny, and she CARES about her education. She is on the honor roll and is not easily distracted by her peers. She knows her education is important. Thank God her mother raised her so well!
Every single school division has different funding for their students. Even if I move to school division one, my son can not attend their Autism Programs because they are full?! Marlene Gregory of the Manitoba Education "student services," suggested that I fill out a "school of choice application form" and have it submitted by May 15th, giving me false hope for my son's future education. More on this topic with my next post titled "Choosing The Right School Division For Your Child With Autism." I'm hoping to get this post done for you for Monday. It will explain all six school divisions along with the wild goose chase Marlene Gregory sent me out on. I'm not a happy girl.
It seems that Winnipeg schools are not the only ones lacking common sense. All of North America has adopted this same type of educational standards, believing in social promotion verses education. Numerous books have been published on the subject, and it seems that our generation of educators have not only lost all common sense but completely lost their minds. While there are teachers that do not agree with passing students who obviously have not met the educational standards, the principals are forced by their school divisions to continue passing students, whether or not they are able to read, write, or master the basics of mathematics. As a parent, I have a major problem with this. I rely on the school to teach my child how to read and write, and yet, my son can't do either. It appears I may have to take Dayton to a Sylvan Learning or a Kumon Learning Centre in order to have Dayton learn how to read and write and learn math. Where the heck is the common sense in this? I'd like my tax money back, because this is NOT WORKING FOR ME!!! And because it's not working, I need my tax money back to be able to enroll Dayton into one of these learning centres, as they're not cheap, and I don't think I should have to pay for the programs since I'm already paying for Dayton to go to school and learn these basics! It just doesn't make sense to have to pay twice for his education.
There are some good teachers out there, who wish their hands were not tied behind their back. They too have a problem with passing students for the sake of social promotion. In saying this, I don't think that a special needs student should necessarily fail every year. We need to draw the line somewhere. Let's face it, some on the Autism Spectrum are not going to graduate with a regular grade 12 diploma, but for those that are able, they should be expected to. You may or may not agree with me, and that's OK. But being a year behind your peers is not the end of the world. Some parents with children on the spectrum have held their children back a year before placing them in Kindergarten, which is what my original plan was with Dayton. But then life happened... another story for another day. My point is that parents know their children best, and since the child in question is our flesh and blood, the air we breath, as parents, we have the best intentions for our child and should have a CHOICE in how our child's education continues. Makes sense to me. WE SHOULD HAVE A CHOICE!!! Should we as parents not be able to have the choice of failing our child?! Does it not make sense to have us involved in our child's education?!
For those thinking I'm on crack for the above opinions, you may want to stop reading this post right now. It's not going to get much better for you, and I don't really like hate mail... and as you can see, I'm pretty angry, and just might respond to them... Not good for any of us.
For those of you that are in agreement with my opinion, I encourage you to check out this book:
As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm using my medical leave to read, read, and read anything to do with education and autism. Reading this book, I thought maybe Michael Zwaagstra followed me for the last five years and wrote a book about my fight for Dayton's education. I have posted a few newspaper articles on Michael Zwaagstra on my facebook page and the Autism Winnipeg facebook page. Having an exceptionally bad day, I looked the man up, found his phone number and called his home in tears. His poor wife had to calm me down enough to understand what I was saying in between sobs. She gave me her husband's email address and assured me that while Mr. Zwaagstra was a busy man, he would return my call as soon as he could. And he did. He called me that same night.
We talked for over an hour on the phone. He patiently listened to Dayton's story of discrimination in the school system, and tried his best to comfort me. He offered to send me two chapters of the above mentioned book. I read them. I bought the book and downloaded it on my ever faithful Kindle.
When I read chapter 3, I needed clarification... Here's my email to Mr. Zwaagstra:
Hi Michael,
I've just literally finished reading chapter 3 of your book, and need some clarification. While I understand that children with intent to disrupt the class or show lack of respect to the staff of the school need to be punished, what is your take on children with a neurological difference? For example, Dayton's auto pilot word these days is "no." He could have a huge grin on his face and be laughing, yet when I ask him if he's having fun, he will say "no." In the school setting, when asked to do work, Dayton says no. Without asking questions such as "what, where, when, who and how" and remembering not to ask "why," Dayton is not able to articulate "why" he's saying no. Sometimes I also have to draw pictures for him.
A clear example of Dayton's misunderstanding was when I got a note from the principal saying that Dayton didn't like this little girl playing with a boy, so he hit her in the head and dragged the boy away from her. In Dayton's view, the little girl was attacking the little boy and he was trying to help him by dragging him away from her. He does not remember hitting her and swears if he did, it was by accident. Naturally, the school staff wasn't able to get a clear picture from Dayton, leaving that work to me, in the mean time the damage was done. What sort of discipline or action would you recommend in this case?
Mr. Zwaagstra's email response to me:
Hi Lou,
As you noted in your email, chapter 3 is intended primarily at situations where students purposefully break the rules. It is important for rules to be stated clearly ahead of time and consistently enforced as this makes it possible to have an orderly learning environment. It also benefits special needs students for whom order and structure in the school is particularly important.
It's difficult for me to suggest a specific course of action in Dayton's case since I have not met him and did not witness the scene. The first question that comes up for me is where was his EA during this process? This is the type of incident that regular adult supervision is supposed to prevent from happening in the first place.
In this particular case, Dayton would need to be removed from the playground for the rest of this recess since the other boy and girl need to be protected. The supervising teacher and/or principal should speak with Dayton about his behaviour and explain to him that hitting is not acceptable and that even if he thought the boy was attacking the girl, he can best help her by telling a teacher right away.
Again, not having met Dayton personally or witnessed the situation myself, that's about as specific as I can get. The point of chapter 3 is to set out general principles of discipline that apply to intentional acts of disobedience rather than provide a detailed set of guidelines for unique situations.
Hope this helps.
Michael
Yeah it helps! I have a direct link to the author to explain what I don't understand! Thank you Mr. Zwaagstra!!! And you know what? He never got defensive with me on any of his "opinions." He patiently, and I mean patiently explained his points and views. What I would give to have him teach my son!!!
Mr. Zwaagsta is not just an author. He is a high school teacher, right here in Manitoba. He educates children with special needs and the typical kids. His view is very much the same as mine... There's a problem with today's education system and we need to fix it. In his book, he talks about school of choice, the Edmonton model which I would give my right arm to have implemented in Manitoba. This would not only benefit children on the Autism Spectrum, but typical children as well. Our special needs kids would not be herded into a building as a dumping ground for the inept and hopeless... They would have educated staff to help them cope with their autism, as each school would "specialize" in something. One school division, one Super Intendant, and NO DIVISION LINES. I could put Dayton in school division one, which has autism programs! Wouldn't that be heaven?! Maybe we could make Mr. Zwaagstra our Super Intendant!!!
The first time I called Mr. Zwaagstra, I begged for help. The man gave me help. He not only responded to every single email and phone call I made to him, he contacted everyone he knew who had an understanding of autism to help me. He forwarded all of their emails to me. Every single one. Every contact believed my son could be fully integrated in the public school system with supports in place. Not one of them suggested Dayton be segregated into a dumping ground for the hopeless..
Thank you Michael Zwaagstra. Thank you for your kindness, your concern and your passion for education. I wish more people took education as seriously as you do. Your students are truly blessed to have you be an influence in their lives.
Consider yourselves hugged, and thank you for taking the time to read this long winded post.
Lou
My little man didn't meet the educational expectations for grade one either. Although this year, he did have an IEP in place. "Can we please hold him back and have him repeat grade one?" "No, we don't believe in failing students... Even living in a different school division didn't help solve Dayton's educational needs. The rules are the rules... What about education?! I gave up discussing keeping Dayton back in grade two. He is now in grade three, and has not mastered the basics of reading, writing and mathematics. He is coming home very frustrated, telling me his brain hurts. The teacher does not believe in sending homework home for her students, so I do my best to try making some homework for him. I purchased a grade one curriculum book from Scholar's choice (Dayton's cognitive skills are of a child half way through grade one), and he looks at me and says "What's the point momma, I'm stupid." Yes... social promotion (continually passing him from one grade to the next, whether or not he's met the educational expectations) is definitely helping his self esteem, isn't it?! It seems to me that Dayton's low self esteem stems from not mastering the basics as the rest of his class has. Furthermore, perhaps failing a grade would motivate him to work in the classroom setting... Dayton struggles to do this not only because of his diagnoses of PDD-NOS, ADHD, and global delays, but because his full time aid is not trained to guide him to do his work. The aid is not in charge of my child, Dayton is in charge of him as well as the class. The school corrects his behavior by suspending him... Let's get serious for a moment, shall we? Suspending a child at 7, 8 and 9 years old is not a consequence to the child. It is a punishment for the parent. And yes, Dayton has been suspended since he was 7 years old. His view of suspension is not "oops, I really messed up, I need to get my act together." His view is more like "thank God I'm out of here!!!" Sometimes children need CONSEQUENCES in order to be motivated. If it is truly embarrassing and a blow to a child's self esteem to fail a grade, then perhaps facing the consequence of failing will motivate children to work. Worked for me as a kid. Makes sense to me!
I had a candid discussion with Dayton's principal last Thursday, discussing keeping Dayton back a year and having him repeat grade three next year. I tried explaining to her that Dayton is fully aware that the rest of the class is far more advanced than Dayton, that it's no wonder that Dayton doesn't want to work in the classroom. He's totally fine sitting on his own and listening to his teacher talk to the class, but once he's put into a "group discussion" with the other kids, he hides under his desk or misbehaves so he doesn't have to show his "group" that he doesn't understand what he should be doing... Dayton's behavior is becoming out of control, and then I get the phone call to come pick him up early from school... Every grade continues on the basics learned from the previous grade, and Dayton has missed so much! And all this with a "full time aid at his side." I stated my fears on what will happen when Dayton is older, expected to open a text book to learn about Science or English and expected to produce a report, when he can't read or write.
The principal told me not to worry, as teachers no longer taught "curriculum" and taught each individual student by their learning capacity and that teaching from a text book is a thing of the past. No one learns from text books anymore... ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Furthermore, the principal insist on passing Dayton to grade four next year, as it is more harmful to his self esteem if he has to repeat a grade than it is not meeting the educational expectations. My son's self esteem has crashed to zero by knowing he is far behind his peers, and she sees him repeating grade three as being offensive to his self esteem? What about his education?! I need him to be able to read a job application and fill it out when he's eighteen... I know I'm worrying way too much and thinking way too far ahead in the future, but my goodness... Why is the school system not as concerned as I am about Dayton's progress? While I realize that his autism provides him with an IEP because of his learning disability, it doesn't mean he shouldn't be taught!
Every school division in Winnipeg has adopted this policy!!! Words can not describe how insane I think this policy is. My child needs an education! Every child out there needs an education! What about our children's future? Again, I'm not talking only about children with special needs, I'm talking about our future LITERALLY. We seem to be a generation away from barbarism. "Oh, you can't read? No worries kid, you're gonna pass anyway... You can't do basic math? Don't worry about it mom and dad, we won't fail him." So these kids are going to pass their current grade, but what about the following year where they continue where they've left off in reading and math, building on what they were supposed to have learned the year before? How do you expect these kids to build on what they haven't mastered?!
I am not concerned only about my son. I am also concerned with children who are deemed "normal." Ugh! I hate that word: "normal." We view schools as the place for children to gain knowledge, skills and values to live their lives effectively as workers and citizens. While I agree that this is also the parents role in their child's education, the school is ultimately responsible for their education, otherwise, why would we send our kids to school? Our children, our future, are graduating high school and at least half of them are graduating without meeting the educational expectations!!! Did you not see them last week at the annual 4/20 marijuana protest rally in front of the legislation building? My neighbor's daughter was telling me that half of her high school population was there!
My friend's son who is 6 years old and in grade one has no disability label. Early in the year, at the end of September, my friend was approached by her son's teacher and told her that her little guy needs a "reading recovery program" because he was not reading as well as the rest of the class. It is now April, and the little guy is STILL ON A WAITING LIST. Will the school fail him? Absolutely not. Whether or not he learns to read is not as important as his "social promotion." The little guy will be going to grade two next September, whether or not he is able to read, putting him farther and farther behind the rest of his peers, because they don't want to hurt his "self esteem." Can they honestly not see that his inability to read is hurting his self esteem more? Can they not see that being able to master the basics of reading will give him the self esteem they are trying to give him in the first place? No, no... sending him home with the same book at minimum of twice a week titled "Buttons Buttons" will help his self esteem. The poor kid has the book memorized, and is not even looking at the pages or the words on the page. Does this sound like true learning? No to this little boy's parent it doesn't, and it doesn't to me either. Even though my friend wrote a note to her son's teacher, asking not to send this book home with him again, they disregarded her note and sent "Buttons Buttons" back home with the little guy the very next day!!! In what moment of insanity did someone decide that this is acceptable? Can they not find a book on zippers or something?! Anything?! If that's all they have to read, I think we're in some serious trouble... It just doesn't make sense!
I do have one thing to be grateful for... My step daughter Charlie-Anne... she is every teacher's dream student. She's smart, she's funny, and she CARES about her education. She is on the honor roll and is not easily distracted by her peers. She knows her education is important. Thank God her mother raised her so well!
Every single school division has different funding for their students. Even if I move to school division one, my son can not attend their Autism Programs because they are full?! Marlene Gregory of the Manitoba Education "student services," suggested that I fill out a "school of choice application form" and have it submitted by May 15th, giving me false hope for my son's future education. More on this topic with my next post titled "Choosing The Right School Division For Your Child With Autism." I'm hoping to get this post done for you for Monday. It will explain all six school divisions along with the wild goose chase Marlene Gregory sent me out on. I'm not a happy girl.
It seems that Winnipeg schools are not the only ones lacking common sense. All of North America has adopted this same type of educational standards, believing in social promotion verses education. Numerous books have been published on the subject, and it seems that our generation of educators have not only lost all common sense but completely lost their minds. While there are teachers that do not agree with passing students who obviously have not met the educational standards, the principals are forced by their school divisions to continue passing students, whether or not they are able to read, write, or master the basics of mathematics. As a parent, I have a major problem with this. I rely on the school to teach my child how to read and write, and yet, my son can't do either. It appears I may have to take Dayton to a Sylvan Learning or a Kumon Learning Centre in order to have Dayton learn how to read and write and learn math. Where the heck is the common sense in this? I'd like my tax money back, because this is NOT WORKING FOR ME!!! And because it's not working, I need my tax money back to be able to enroll Dayton into one of these learning centres, as they're not cheap, and I don't think I should have to pay for the programs since I'm already paying for Dayton to go to school and learn these basics! It just doesn't make sense to have to pay twice for his education.
There are some good teachers out there, who wish their hands were not tied behind their back. They too have a problem with passing students for the sake of social promotion. In saying this, I don't think that a special needs student should necessarily fail every year. We need to draw the line somewhere. Let's face it, some on the Autism Spectrum are not going to graduate with a regular grade 12 diploma, but for those that are able, they should be expected to. You may or may not agree with me, and that's OK. But being a year behind your peers is not the end of the world. Some parents with children on the spectrum have held their children back a year before placing them in Kindergarten, which is what my original plan was with Dayton. But then life happened... another story for another day. My point is that parents know their children best, and since the child in question is our flesh and blood, the air we breath, as parents, we have the best intentions for our child and should have a CHOICE in how our child's education continues. Makes sense to me. WE SHOULD HAVE A CHOICE!!! Should we as parents not be able to have the choice of failing our child?! Does it not make sense to have us involved in our child's education?!
For those thinking I'm on crack for the above opinions, you may want to stop reading this post right now. It's not going to get much better for you, and I don't really like hate mail... and as you can see, I'm pretty angry, and just might respond to them... Not good for any of us.
For those of you that are in agreement with my opinion, I encourage you to check out this book:
As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm using my medical leave to read, read, and read anything to do with education and autism. Reading this book, I thought maybe Michael Zwaagstra followed me for the last five years and wrote a book about my fight for Dayton's education. I have posted a few newspaper articles on Michael Zwaagstra on my facebook page and the Autism Winnipeg facebook page. Having an exceptionally bad day, I looked the man up, found his phone number and called his home in tears. His poor wife had to calm me down enough to understand what I was saying in between sobs. She gave me her husband's email address and assured me that while Mr. Zwaagstra was a busy man, he would return my call as soon as he could. And he did. He called me that same night.
We talked for over an hour on the phone. He patiently listened to Dayton's story of discrimination in the school system, and tried his best to comfort me. He offered to send me two chapters of the above mentioned book. I read them. I bought the book and downloaded it on my ever faithful Kindle.
When I read chapter 3, I needed clarification... Here's my email to Mr. Zwaagstra:
Hi Michael,
I've just literally finished reading chapter 3 of your book, and need some clarification. While I understand that children with intent to disrupt the class or show lack of respect to the staff of the school need to be punished, what is your take on children with a neurological difference? For example, Dayton's auto pilot word these days is "no." He could have a huge grin on his face and be laughing, yet when I ask him if he's having fun, he will say "no." In the school setting, when asked to do work, Dayton says no. Without asking questions such as "what, where, when, who and how" and remembering not to ask "why," Dayton is not able to articulate "why" he's saying no. Sometimes I also have to draw pictures for him.
A clear example of Dayton's misunderstanding was when I got a note from the principal saying that Dayton didn't like this little girl playing with a boy, so he hit her in the head and dragged the boy away from her. In Dayton's view, the little girl was attacking the little boy and he was trying to help him by dragging him away from her. He does not remember hitting her and swears if he did, it was by accident. Naturally, the school staff wasn't able to get a clear picture from Dayton, leaving that work to me, in the mean time the damage was done. What sort of discipline or action would you recommend in this case?
Mr. Zwaagstra's email response to me:
Hi Lou,
As you noted in your email, chapter 3 is intended primarily at situations where students purposefully break the rules. It is important for rules to be stated clearly ahead of time and consistently enforced as this makes it possible to have an orderly learning environment. It also benefits special needs students for whom order and structure in the school is particularly important.
It's difficult for me to suggest a specific course of action in Dayton's case since I have not met him and did not witness the scene. The first question that comes up for me is where was his EA during this process? This is the type of incident that regular adult supervision is supposed to prevent from happening in the first place.
In this particular case, Dayton would need to be removed from the playground for the rest of this recess since the other boy and girl need to be protected. The supervising teacher and/or principal should speak with Dayton about his behaviour and explain to him that hitting is not acceptable and that even if he thought the boy was attacking the girl, he can best help her by telling a teacher right away.
Again, not having met Dayton personally or witnessed the situation myself, that's about as specific as I can get. The point of chapter 3 is to set out general principles of discipline that apply to intentional acts of disobedience rather than provide a detailed set of guidelines for unique situations.
Hope this helps.
Michael
Yeah it helps! I have a direct link to the author to explain what I don't understand! Thank you Mr. Zwaagstra!!! And you know what? He never got defensive with me on any of his "opinions." He patiently, and I mean patiently explained his points and views. What I would give to have him teach my son!!!
Mr. Zwaagsta is not just an author. He is a high school teacher, right here in Manitoba. He educates children with special needs and the typical kids. His view is very much the same as mine... There's a problem with today's education system and we need to fix it. In his book, he talks about school of choice, the Edmonton model which I would give my right arm to have implemented in Manitoba. This would not only benefit children on the Autism Spectrum, but typical children as well. Our special needs kids would not be herded into a building as a dumping ground for the inept and hopeless... They would have educated staff to help them cope with their autism, as each school would "specialize" in something. One school division, one Super Intendant, and NO DIVISION LINES. I could put Dayton in school division one, which has autism programs! Wouldn't that be heaven?! Maybe we could make Mr. Zwaagstra our Super Intendant!!!
The first time I called Mr. Zwaagstra, I begged for help. The man gave me help. He not only responded to every single email and phone call I made to him, he contacted everyone he knew who had an understanding of autism to help me. He forwarded all of their emails to me. Every single one. Every contact believed my son could be fully integrated in the public school system with supports in place. Not one of them suggested Dayton be segregated into a dumping ground for the hopeless..
Thank you Michael Zwaagstra. Thank you for your kindness, your concern and your passion for education. I wish more people took education as seriously as you do. Your students are truly blessed to have you be an influence in their lives.
Consider yourselves hugged, and thank you for taking the time to read this long winded post.
Lou
Wednesday, 20 April 2011
Autism Behavior - Communication
Behavior is something which all children display in one form or another. Our child's behavior tells those around them many things about their wants, needs, and desires. The most important thing to understand about behavior is that it is a form of communication. It is a complicated form of communication, but a truly basic one.
Typical children are much better at verbal communication skills than children with autism. Typical children do not always rely on physical behavior to relate a message. Often, children with autism are telling us a lot with their behavior. They can be giving an answer, asking a question or expressing a frustrated response.
Some behaviors expressed by children with autism may be appropriate or inappropriate depending on the situation. Inappropriate behaviors give a negative aspect to our children's learning experience.
It does not matter if the negative behavior occurs in a social situation or academic situation. A negative behavior must be dealt with so that the child with autism can acquire as much information as possible. Some undesired behaviors can not be eliminated. In that case those behaviors should be exchanged with desirable behaviors the child can use. In order to do this, it is both the teacher's and parent's responsibility to teach the child to "change their mind" as my dad says.
One of the stories a family related to me was a teacher who was asking their child a question. Just for example we are going to say the question was 'What is 2 + 2?' This family's child did not understand the question. Their child did not even know how to answer the teacher. It is very common for children with autism to have auditory deficits and not be able to focus on what he's being asked. As far as I'm concerned, if the government insist on inclusion, then this bit of information should automatically be listed in the teacher's handbook.
The first thing their child did was to become withdrawn. The well meaning teacher went closer to the child and asked again. Now this family's child became aggressive and used some really choice curse words. While the well meaning teacher wants to help the child, the child with autism perceives this as an invasion of his space, or an attack. Dayton's perception would be that he's in trouble and under attack. His auditory processing is severely impaired, and he while he can speak, it doesn't mean that he is able to process verbal questions or instructions all of the time. For the most part, he's pretty good at it, but sometimes... let's just say that there are times were he's over stimulated by sounds, smells and too many things going on in the classroom... Auditory processing (hearing and understanding what the speaker is trying to convey to you) and speaking yourself are two completely different things. While closely connected, they are not the same thing.
A little understanding of a child with Autism and communication can help this situation. If a parent and teacher wish to change this undesirable behavior they need to replace it. This is done by teaching a child a different technique or method of getting what they want. In order to do this, parents and teachers MUST work together. Furthermore, the policy of "inclusion" orders for the teacher to accommodate special need students. Most children with autism are very visual learners, so the teacher should accommodate visually to the child, instead of giving auditory instructions. Furthermore, replacing the behavior is NOT ENOUGH. The child needs to practice the replacement behavior. Children with autism do not automatically learn things like typical children do, they must practice over and over in order to "get it."
Tell the child with autism that when they do not understand what someone is asking they can raise their hand. This is a technique to let the adult know what is going on. Another technique is to teach the child to say a special word or phrase instead of cursing. This also gives adults involved a cue that they are feeling frustrated.
Then everyone involved has to understand if they do not respond to those cues the behavior will escalate!!! These are two simple but possibly effective way to help or change behavior in a positive way. Changing or shaping the behavior will help the child with autism have an environment more in line with their learning needs. As most children with autism have difficulties with auditory processing, the teacher could then write down or draw the question out for the child with autism, which would most likely have a better response.
Now many of you would say "a child cursing? That is highly inappropriate! Where is the child learning these words?" as many of the teachers themselves think. Let me assure you that parents of autistic children do not condone cursing from their children. It is not acceptable behavior. To answer your question, it is not the parents that teach their autistic children how to curse. Dayton NEVER curses at home, EVER.
The trick is to convince the school your child attends, that they should heed your advice, and not be judgemental of your parenting. If you're fortunate enough to have a school that works with you, this should not be a problem. If you're fortunate enough to have a school that understands autism, then again, your job will be easier. For those of struggling on both counts, we need to figure out a solution... Any suggestions or ideas are most welcome!!!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Typical children are much better at verbal communication skills than children with autism. Typical children do not always rely on physical behavior to relate a message. Often, children with autism are telling us a lot with their behavior. They can be giving an answer, asking a question or expressing a frustrated response.
Some behaviors expressed by children with autism may be appropriate or inappropriate depending on the situation. Inappropriate behaviors give a negative aspect to our children's learning experience.
It does not matter if the negative behavior occurs in a social situation or academic situation. A negative behavior must be dealt with so that the child with autism can acquire as much information as possible. Some undesired behaviors can not be eliminated. In that case those behaviors should be exchanged with desirable behaviors the child can use. In order to do this, it is both the teacher's and parent's responsibility to teach the child to "change their mind" as my dad says.
One of the stories a family related to me was a teacher who was asking their child a question. Just for example we are going to say the question was 'What is 2 + 2?' This family's child did not understand the question. Their child did not even know how to answer the teacher. It is very common for children with autism to have auditory deficits and not be able to focus on what he's being asked. As far as I'm concerned, if the government insist on inclusion, then this bit of information should automatically be listed in the teacher's handbook.
The first thing their child did was to become withdrawn. The well meaning teacher went closer to the child and asked again. Now this family's child became aggressive and used some really choice curse words. While the well meaning teacher wants to help the child, the child with autism perceives this as an invasion of his space, or an attack. Dayton's perception would be that he's in trouble and under attack. His auditory processing is severely impaired, and he while he can speak, it doesn't mean that he is able to process verbal questions or instructions all of the time. For the most part, he's pretty good at it, but sometimes... let's just say that there are times were he's over stimulated by sounds, smells and too many things going on in the classroom... Auditory processing (hearing and understanding what the speaker is trying to convey to you) and speaking yourself are two completely different things. While closely connected, they are not the same thing.
A little understanding of a child with Autism and communication can help this situation. If a parent and teacher wish to change this undesirable behavior they need to replace it. This is done by teaching a child a different technique or method of getting what they want. In order to do this, parents and teachers MUST work together. Furthermore, the policy of "inclusion" orders for the teacher to accommodate special need students. Most children with autism are very visual learners, so the teacher should accommodate visually to the child, instead of giving auditory instructions. Furthermore, replacing the behavior is NOT ENOUGH. The child needs to practice the replacement behavior. Children with autism do not automatically learn things like typical children do, they must practice over and over in order to "get it."
Tell the child with autism that when they do not understand what someone is asking they can raise their hand. This is a technique to let the adult know what is going on. Another technique is to teach the child to say a special word or phrase instead of cursing. This also gives adults involved a cue that they are feeling frustrated.
Then everyone involved has to understand if they do not respond to those cues the behavior will escalate!!! These are two simple but possibly effective way to help or change behavior in a positive way. Changing or shaping the behavior will help the child with autism have an environment more in line with their learning needs. As most children with autism have difficulties with auditory processing, the teacher could then write down or draw the question out for the child with autism, which would most likely have a better response.
Now many of you would say "a child cursing? That is highly inappropriate! Where is the child learning these words?" as many of the teachers themselves think. Let me assure you that parents of autistic children do not condone cursing from their children. It is not acceptable behavior. To answer your question, it is not the parents that teach their autistic children how to curse. Dayton NEVER curses at home, EVER.
The trick is to convince the school your child attends, that they should heed your advice, and not be judgemental of your parenting. If you're fortunate enough to have a school that works with you, this should not be a problem. If you're fortunate enough to have a school that understands autism, then again, your job will be easier. For those of struggling on both counts, we need to figure out a solution... Any suggestions or ideas are most welcome!!!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Wednesday, 13 April 2011
I'm Raising A Child With AUTISM... What's Your Superpower?
Talking to a facebook friend today, whom I have the utmost respect for, I realized that there are two types of autism parents out there. Those that are looking for a cure, and those that are accepting their child with autism and embracing autism as a lifestyle and call for an acknowledgement of neurodiversity. I think most parents experience both sides in their journey in raising a child with autism.
When Dayton was first diagnosed, I was definitely on camp "cure." OK, got the diagnosis, now what do we do to fix this? The psychologist just looked at me and said good luck. Good luck? Seriously?! Wha'da ya mean?! He told me there's many theories circulating out there on therapies, and I just have to find what works for Dayton. OK... Could you name me some examples? Nope. He can't do that because he can't encourage one over another, a "conflict of interest." He prescribed medication and sent me an invitation to a parent support group.
So off to the internet I go. Research, research, research.
At age 7, Dayton was to old for ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis), which is the one therapies that has been scientifically proven to help. Unfortunately, it is only available to children from the ages of 2 and 6. So this therapy is out. In saying this, did you know that Alberta allows this therapy until the child turns 21? What the hell?!
Bizarre and primitive options such as hyperbaric chambers or electric shock therapy was definitely out of the question for my little guy.
There's special diets, which can get pretty costly, namely the GFCF (gluten-free, casein-free) and the specific carbohydrate diet. Some parents swear by these diets, and others say that it doesn't make a difference. Both sides agree that the diet requires many hours of work and that it is quite expensive.
Chelation, a process of administering substances that draw out heavy metals such as mercury or lead has been used by parents who believe their child's autism is caused by vaccines. Chelation is suppose to either reduce or completely reverse the symptoms of autism. The use of diet, vitamins, supplements and chelation is also known as a biomedical approach. Unfortunately, certain biomedical interventions have caused harm, even death (2005, Abubakar Rariq Nadama passed away as a result of an improper chelation procedure), so this is not an approach I feel comfortable taking either. The diet perhaps, but definitely not taking the change with chelation.
Today I'm sitting pretty in the "neurodiversity" camp. There's a sense of peace upon accepting the autism diagnosis. Prayer to our heavenly Father helps too. Psalm 46.10 says to "be still and know that I am God." Sometimes the most powerful act is to be silent... simply trusting that God has a purpose for my little Dayton. The less I fight the diagnosis, the more I am certain that this is true. The bible also tells us that man is made in God's image. This means Dayton is made in His image, not the image I had chosen for him, but the image God chose.
A couple of quotes to consider: "I know of nobody who is purely autistic or purely neurotypical. Even GOD had some autistic moments, which is why all the planets spin" - Jerry Newport (Let's not start a gospel war people, none of us have ever met God face to face. What we do know is that He is perfect).
One of my favorites: "If I could snap my fingers and be non autistic, I would not because then I wouldn't be me. Autism is part of who I am." - Temple Grandin
Acceptance to me is the act of "letting go." I love my son. Dayton is the driving force in my life. While yes, I need to ensure that he is as self sufficient as possible and a contributing member of society, I also need to ensure that Dayton feels accepted for who he is, and how he thinks. Dayton deserves happiness just as any other child does. If I can not accept Dayton myself, how on earth can I expect anyone else to? I've heard many parents say that once they reach the point of complete acceptance, their children blossom, and I'm slowly starting to see this with Dayton as well. I think that my acceptance of him is the most important therapy he could ever receive! It's not that I love Dayton in spite of his autism, it's that I love him because of his autism. There is a huge difference, and our children can feel it!
The second most important therapy is your child's EDUCATION. Manitoba's education system has much to be desired, especially when it comes to education of children on the autism spectrum. My goodness, with statistics at 1 in 150 children being diagnosed with a form of autism, you would think our province (all provinces, the whole country with the exception of Alberta) would do educate their school divisions on autism!!! With the rapidly growing numbers of people being diagnosed with autism, our government places little priority upon autism. Inclusion is wonderful in theory, but oh my goodness... It just isn't working! A fellow blogger who's son has Asperger's syndrome has pulled her son out of school last year after her little one sat in the middle of a circle, while his teacher had the rest of the class sit in a circle around him. She instructed each student to look at this poor little boy and tell him what they didn't like about him! This, this "they" call inclusion?! Shortly after this, his mom pulled him out of school and decided to home school him.
Camp cure and camp neurodiversity... One thing to remember is that what ever camp you belong to at this point in time, to ACCEPT EACH OTHER and be SUPPORTIVE of each other. We're all doing the best we can for our children, and our goal for our kids is the same - EDUCATION. This is education for ourselves, the people involved in their education, the people around them who love them as well as our kids, and we're all doing what we can to help our children be contributing members of society. Both sides love their children! Both sides feel attacked by the other, and this needs to change. Many autism parents feel judged and criticized by the world already, and the last thing that's needed is for them to feel attacked by the autism community. We need to band together, no matter what our views are, we still have one thing in common: Autism Awareness!!! What we need is one unanimous voice. We need to accept each other's work, we may not agree or see the relevance, or understand, but it is crucial that we accept and do not attack each other anymore!!!
Consider yourselves hugged!!!
Lou
When Dayton was first diagnosed, I was definitely on camp "cure." OK, got the diagnosis, now what do we do to fix this? The psychologist just looked at me and said good luck. Good luck? Seriously?! Wha'da ya mean?! He told me there's many theories circulating out there on therapies, and I just have to find what works for Dayton. OK... Could you name me some examples? Nope. He can't do that because he can't encourage one over another, a "conflict of interest." He prescribed medication and sent me an invitation to a parent support group.
So off to the internet I go. Research, research, research.
At age 7, Dayton was to old for ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis), which is the one therapies that has been scientifically proven to help. Unfortunately, it is only available to children from the ages of 2 and 6. So this therapy is out. In saying this, did you know that Alberta allows this therapy until the child turns 21? What the hell?!
Bizarre and primitive options such as hyperbaric chambers or electric shock therapy was definitely out of the question for my little guy.
There's special diets, which can get pretty costly, namely the GFCF (gluten-free, casein-free) and the specific carbohydrate diet. Some parents swear by these diets, and others say that it doesn't make a difference. Both sides agree that the diet requires many hours of work and that it is quite expensive.
Chelation, a process of administering substances that draw out heavy metals such as mercury or lead has been used by parents who believe their child's autism is caused by vaccines. Chelation is suppose to either reduce or completely reverse the symptoms of autism. The use of diet, vitamins, supplements and chelation is also known as a biomedical approach. Unfortunately, certain biomedical interventions have caused harm, even death (2005, Abubakar Rariq Nadama passed away as a result of an improper chelation procedure), so this is not an approach I feel comfortable taking either. The diet perhaps, but definitely not taking the change with chelation.
Today I'm sitting pretty in the "neurodiversity" camp. There's a sense of peace upon accepting the autism diagnosis. Prayer to our heavenly Father helps too. Psalm 46.10 says to "be still and know that I am God." Sometimes the most powerful act is to be silent... simply trusting that God has a purpose for my little Dayton. The less I fight the diagnosis, the more I am certain that this is true. The bible also tells us that man is made in God's image. This means Dayton is made in His image, not the image I had chosen for him, but the image God chose.
A couple of quotes to consider: "I know of nobody who is purely autistic or purely neurotypical. Even GOD had some autistic moments, which is why all the planets spin" - Jerry Newport (Let's not start a gospel war people, none of us have ever met God face to face. What we do know is that He is perfect).
One of my favorites: "If I could snap my fingers and be non autistic, I would not because then I wouldn't be me. Autism is part of who I am." - Temple Grandin
Acceptance to me is the act of "letting go." I love my son. Dayton is the driving force in my life. While yes, I need to ensure that he is as self sufficient as possible and a contributing member of society, I also need to ensure that Dayton feels accepted for who he is, and how he thinks. Dayton deserves happiness just as any other child does. If I can not accept Dayton myself, how on earth can I expect anyone else to? I've heard many parents say that once they reach the point of complete acceptance, their children blossom, and I'm slowly starting to see this with Dayton as well. I think that my acceptance of him is the most important therapy he could ever receive! It's not that I love Dayton in spite of his autism, it's that I love him because of his autism. There is a huge difference, and our children can feel it!
The second most important therapy is your child's EDUCATION. Manitoba's education system has much to be desired, especially when it comes to education of children on the autism spectrum. My goodness, with statistics at 1 in 150 children being diagnosed with a form of autism, you would think our province (all provinces, the whole country with the exception of Alberta) would do educate their school divisions on autism!!! With the rapidly growing numbers of people being diagnosed with autism, our government places little priority upon autism. Inclusion is wonderful in theory, but oh my goodness... It just isn't working! A fellow blogger who's son has Asperger's syndrome has pulled her son out of school last year after her little one sat in the middle of a circle, while his teacher had the rest of the class sit in a circle around him. She instructed each student to look at this poor little boy and tell him what they didn't like about him! This, this "they" call inclusion?! Shortly after this, his mom pulled him out of school and decided to home school him.
Camp cure and camp neurodiversity... One thing to remember is that what ever camp you belong to at this point in time, to ACCEPT EACH OTHER and be SUPPORTIVE of each other. We're all doing the best we can for our children, and our goal for our kids is the same - EDUCATION. This is education for ourselves, the people involved in their education, the people around them who love them as well as our kids, and we're all doing what we can to help our children be contributing members of society. Both sides love their children! Both sides feel attacked by the other, and this needs to change. Many autism parents feel judged and criticized by the world already, and the last thing that's needed is for them to feel attacked by the autism community. We need to band together, no matter what our views are, we still have one thing in common: Autism Awareness!!! What we need is one unanimous voice. We need to accept each other's work, we may not agree or see the relevance, or understand, but it is crucial that we accept and do not attack each other anymore!!!
Consider yourselves hugged!!!
Lou
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)