I'm going to vent a little here... OK, a lot! Who am I kidding, this is a man bashing post, but I assure you it's with good reason...
What is wrong with men today?! With the exception of Super Dad and a couple of men I can count on one hand, what is the problem with men and their responsibility with their children? I mean seriously?!
I've been at my new job for three whole days now, and I'm ready to fire Dayton's dad. That's right, I said it family and friends. I would like to fire my baby's dad. How do I go about doing that?
Monday: Everything was fine since I only worked four hours and was able to pick up Dayton off the bus myself when he got home from school.
Tuesday: I have the opportunity to continue working, and Glen (Dayton's dad) has the day off. Before I went to work I talk to him telling him how guilty I felt on Monday, leaving my pharmacy team to drown, as they were super busy. Meanwhile, during my job interview, I bragged how I would go down with the ship like the band in Titanic. Glen and I both agree that he will pick up Dayton from the bus at 3:10pm, and I will call to remind him at 3pm. I call his cell phone twice, no answer. I call him at home twice, no answer... My new employer wants me to stay... I run out of the pharmacy telling her I will be right back, but need to check on my baby... I drive like a maniac home to find the two of them safe and sound, playing Call of Duty... something completely off limits!!! No video games period from Monday to Friday, did I not make that crystal clear?! I drive back to work and slink into the pharmacy completely humiliated.
Wednesday: Glen calls me at work at exactly 3:10pm. He tells me he's missed Dayton's bus. "Exsqueeze me?! What the bleep bleep bleep do you mean you've missed his bus?!"
"I lost track of time."
"It's the one and only thing you HAD to do today!!!"
"Well, what do I do?"
"GO FIND HIM!!! Go to his school and if he's not there, then they can call the bus driver!!! If you don't find him, I'm going to strangle you with my bare hands, do you understand?! You call me when you get to Dayton's school and you let me know what's happening, got it?!"
Ten minutes later: "Drove to the school, they called the bus driver and Dayton's still on the bus. He's on his way home now."
"Good, now stay put and WAIT for him to get there!"
After I get home from work: "What if I keep Dayton for the day tomorrow, it's the last day of school tomorrow, what's he going to miss?"
"Ummmm, I don't know, his friends? His teachers? He's going to be home for two weeks."
"Just thought it would be easier..."
Yes... because I always have it easy and so does Dayton... Hmmmm, why didn't I think of that?
Of course Dayton hears this... "Yeah, I wanna stay home! Mamma, why you so mean?!"
Guess who won?
Thursday morning: Looking forward going to work. At least I know Dayton will not be forgotten on a bus or at school and CFS won't be called for being neglectful. Getting out of the madhouse for a while will do my soul some good. My friends don't need to post bail for first degree murder, and Glen's friends don't need to worry about what to wear for his funeral. Everyone's fine...
Grrr...
Considering myself hugged,
Lou
Showing posts with label dads. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dads. Show all posts
Thursday, 22 December 2011
Sunday, 13 November 2011
Super Dad, A Hero In My Eyes
Finally, I finally got a chance to meet my new hero, whom I will from now on refer to as Super Dad. He's earned the title. I know of no other man who is as selfless, warm and caring as this man.
Super Dad is a single father of five, that's right, FIVE children, three of which are biologically his, and the two youngest are his niece and nephew. Their ages range from seventeen to... drum roll please... three!!! Wow!!! I don't know where the man gets the energy to do it, but he does it and does it well. The three oldest are on the autism spectrum... Given these circumstances, Super Dad still finds the time to decorate his home and all of his front yard with Halloween decorations, and come Christmas, he'll do the same! He does this for his five children, bringing to mind the saying that there is a difference between a 'daddy' and a sperm donor. Sorry, I don't mean to sound so harsh, but I've met both, and the ones in between.
He's such a proud Super Dad! He even brought out pictures for me to see his kiddos. How embarrassing for me... I have tons of pictures of Dayton on my blackberry, but I forgot it on my trip home from BC, and it's in the mail, so I had none to show him... And here I think of myself as an awesome mom! Woops.
Raising five kids, Super Dad even finds time to keep a beautiful garden of flowers around his home. He showed me pictures of tiger lilies and other flowers, and I shamefully had to admit I have a black thumb. My plants have all died since I moved, including my cactus. How do you kill a cactus you may ask... Just bring it over to my home, I'll have it dead in a week.
Why am I raving about Super Dad? I have one child on the autism spectrum, ONE. I dread Halloween. A hyper boy to begin with, Dayton looks and behaves like a squirrel on acid with OCD when introduced to candy. Even his voice changes and he talks so fast I can hardly understand him. I have no energy to put up Halloween decorations. Christmas time is different. While I still don't have the energy, celebrating the birth of Christ is very important to me. There's no candy involved in my house other than baked cookies. I can handle that. How Super Dad does it with three on the autism spectrum is remarkable.
It gets better... Super Dad is changing careers... He's just recently got hired as an educational assistant. He's inspired me to take a look at this career choice myself. I love pharmacy, but I really want to make a change in someone's life. As Leo Tolstoy has said: "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themself." Time to make a change within myself.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Super Dad is a single father of five, that's right, FIVE children, three of which are biologically his, and the two youngest are his niece and nephew. Their ages range from seventeen to... drum roll please... three!!! Wow!!! I don't know where the man gets the energy to do it, but he does it and does it well. The three oldest are on the autism spectrum... Given these circumstances, Super Dad still finds the time to decorate his home and all of his front yard with Halloween decorations, and come Christmas, he'll do the same! He does this for his five children, bringing to mind the saying that there is a difference between a 'daddy' and a sperm donor. Sorry, I don't mean to sound so harsh, but I've met both, and the ones in between.
 |
| Super Dad's Halloween work |
 |
| My favourite snap shot of Super Dad's handy work |
He's such a proud Super Dad! He even brought out pictures for me to see his kiddos. How embarrassing for me... I have tons of pictures of Dayton on my blackberry, but I forgot it on my trip home from BC, and it's in the mail, so I had none to show him... And here I think of myself as an awesome mom! Woops.
Raising five kids, Super Dad even finds time to keep a beautiful garden of flowers around his home. He showed me pictures of tiger lilies and other flowers, and I shamefully had to admit I have a black thumb. My plants have all died since I moved, including my cactus. How do you kill a cactus you may ask... Just bring it over to my home, I'll have it dead in a week.
Why am I raving about Super Dad? I have one child on the autism spectrum, ONE. I dread Halloween. A hyper boy to begin with, Dayton looks and behaves like a squirrel on acid with OCD when introduced to candy. Even his voice changes and he talks so fast I can hardly understand him. I have no energy to put up Halloween decorations. Christmas time is different. While I still don't have the energy, celebrating the birth of Christ is very important to me. There's no candy involved in my house other than baked cookies. I can handle that. How Super Dad does it with three on the autism spectrum is remarkable.
It gets better... Super Dad is changing careers... He's just recently got hired as an educational assistant. He's inspired me to take a look at this career choice myself. I love pharmacy, but I really want to make a change in someone's life. As Leo Tolstoy has said: "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themself." Time to make a change within myself.
 |
| Super Dad without caffeine, LOL. Can you believe this guy is single ladies? Once you get past the mask, he's a heart breaker, I swear! LOL |
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
... And Somehow, I've Become UNREASONABLE
Kids... they definitely need to come with a warning label: "I am exactly like my father." Sorry dads, but in my case it really is true.
After our visit with Charlie-Anne (my step daughter), I've come to see just how much Glen's kids are just like him. I honestly thought it was just Dayton, and seeing as how he is my only child, I now see just how naive I've really been...
I love Charlie to death, I really do. There's little I wouldn't do for that girl. I gave her my sweet sixteen family daughter ring, did all her laundry, brought her meals to the table, did all the dishes, and when I wasn't doing that, I spent every available waking moment with her, making sure she didn't get bored. When she left us, I felt like she took a chunk of my heart right along with her. I miss her like crazy and can't stop thinking about her since she's gone back to Regina last Thursday.
I wish I could say our entire two week visit was flawless, but she is fifteen, a teenager. You know there will be some disputes, especially since we just met her last September for the first time since she was two years old.
Dayton loves her to pieces too, and when she showed a wee bit more attention to his little buddy, he got a wee bit jealous. Of course, since he doesn't understand his feelings, he's not able to say what the problem is, and decides to push his little buddy in the pool in a fit of jealously, rather than try to talk out something he doesn't understand.
Some of the similarities I noticed the kids have with their dad is that none of them want to "talk" about their feelings or what they're thinking. When upset, they prefer to hide out and have a fit. They all pout in the same way. They prefer to learn things the hard way rather than seeing a simpler solution, they value money more than anything else, and they don't feel comfortable with affection or intimacy. How am I to survive this when I'm a touchy, lovey kind of gal? I love hugging both of the kids and kissing them good night. I refuse to go to bed angry or upset and don't want to be responsible for someone going to bed in this state of mind either, so talking things out is important to me. The learning things in a more difficult way I can deal with, providing they're learning. But when it comes to love and the emotional side of things, and preferring "things" over "love"... how do I deal with that and still be me?
As a teenager, Charlie-Anne things of me as... wait for it... OVERPROTECTIVE. Oh my gosh! Furthermore, her friend who happens to be my best friend's daughter AGREES with her and so does my best friend! Oh my goodness, I feel another brain aneurysm coming on. And to think, all I did was ask where they were off to and what time they'd be home and showing a little apprehensiveness about Charlie-Anne meeting up with a boy and ending up in the wrong part of the city, and asking for her not to go alone anywhere in the dark... I joked around a lot about it, but it seems no one thought I was funny... Ugh. Well hell's bells... If anyone needs to know anything, call a teenage girl. It seems they know everything. Should save us a lot on college and university. It appears my life experience and yours amounts to nothing of importance.
Seems another mistake I've made during our visit was trying too hard to please her by hugging her and embarrassing her so that she would know she was a part of our family and had a place in our home. Jeez! All I did was hug her in public and when she showed interest in a boy, I asked him if he thought she was pretty and asked him for his phone number. Well, at least she was pleased with me getting the phone number... I did something right!!! Wooooo-hoooooooo!!! Little does she know I did it as a joke. I do it to my best friend all the time. Back fired on me now, didn't it. I bet the little schmuck is calling or texting her as we speak.
To answer your question, after years of observation, multiple hypothesis, well-structured analysis and deeply reviewed interpretations, my friends and apparently Charlie have finally came to the conclusion that I'M NOT NORMAL. I like my children safe and sound. I like to make sure they're not bored and are having a good time. I like to make sure that when they venture out at night when it's dark that they don't do it alone, and I enjoy 'family time,' playing games like bocci ball, croquet and swimming. I want them to know how much I love them, and give them all the attention I humanly can. I also think that a boy must pass a breathalyzer, drug test, lie detector, back-ground check and psych evaluation in order to qualify for a first date with my girl. It seems that this is not what a responsible, loving, caring step parent or parent is supposed to do. We're supposed to give our children freedom to do as they choose and go wherever they please at any time they want. I'm not suppose to worry about them getting hurt or kidnapped. Oooops. My mistake.
I've learned some things about me during our visit with Charlie-Anne though. Even with our opposing views on how I should 'behave,' I love her no matter what. When she was unhappy, I cried in private. I love her a tiny, smidgen, half a millimeter less then I love my own son, something Dayton's not crazy about, but I can't help myself. I think she's the most beautiful girl on the face of this planet. I think she deserves more than I can give her, and whether she likes it or not, I don't think there's a male on this planet that is good enough for her. I suppose I love her as though she was my own daughter. She somehow completes my family, and without her, I feel truly sad. I just wish she had a little more patience for me and how I think. Speaking about the way they think...
I've been trying to teach Dayton how to tie his shoes for the past three years. I figured the easiest way was to teach him the two bunny ears way, you know, the two loops, cross them and flip one 'bunny ear' into the whole and voila! You have a tied shoe. He just couldn't get the hang of it.
After coming home from shopping for school supplies for both Dayton and Charlie, I asked Charlie if she wouldn't mind showing Dayton how to tie his shoes, as Dayton desperately wanted to wear his new shoes outside and show his buddies. I told him if he learned how to tie them, he could wear them... Charlie showed him once and taught him for a whole five minutes... and Dayton tied his shoes!!! Wow!!! He really did it!!! I was thrilled!!! I watched him tie his shoes and thought the way he did it was tricky, but Charlie-Anne said that she thought the bunny ears way was too tricky... Obviously, so did Dayton, and so does their dad... Way too many similarities. The only difference between Charlie-Anne and Dayton is Dayton's pervasiveness over words, toys and activities. Also, Dayton's communication skills are obviously weaker and his understanding of feelings.
Now if I can just get the girl to understand my feelings... Walking away from this vacation, I learned that raising children is like raising monkeys on acid. You just don't know what they're thinking and have no idea what they're going to say or do next. All you know is that you should brace yourself, cause it's gonna be a roller coaster ride. Autism or no autism, children are wild!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
After our visit with Charlie-Anne (my step daughter), I've come to see just how much Glen's kids are just like him. I honestly thought it was just Dayton, and seeing as how he is my only child, I now see just how naive I've really been...
I love Charlie to death, I really do. There's little I wouldn't do for that girl. I gave her my sweet sixteen family daughter ring, did all her laundry, brought her meals to the table, did all the dishes, and when I wasn't doing that, I spent every available waking moment with her, making sure she didn't get bored. When she left us, I felt like she took a chunk of my heart right along with her. I miss her like crazy and can't stop thinking about her since she's gone back to Regina last Thursday.
I wish I could say our entire two week visit was flawless, but she is fifteen, a teenager. You know there will be some disputes, especially since we just met her last September for the first time since she was two years old.
Dayton loves her to pieces too, and when she showed a wee bit more attention to his little buddy, he got a wee bit jealous. Of course, since he doesn't understand his feelings, he's not able to say what the problem is, and decides to push his little buddy in the pool in a fit of jealously, rather than try to talk out something he doesn't understand.
Some of the similarities I noticed the kids have with their dad is that none of them want to "talk" about their feelings or what they're thinking. When upset, they prefer to hide out and have a fit. They all pout in the same way. They prefer to learn things the hard way rather than seeing a simpler solution, they value money more than anything else, and they don't feel comfortable with affection or intimacy. How am I to survive this when I'm a touchy, lovey kind of gal? I love hugging both of the kids and kissing them good night. I refuse to go to bed angry or upset and don't want to be responsible for someone going to bed in this state of mind either, so talking things out is important to me. The learning things in a more difficult way I can deal with, providing they're learning. But when it comes to love and the emotional side of things, and preferring "things" over "love"... how do I deal with that and still be me?
As a teenager, Charlie-Anne things of me as... wait for it... OVERPROTECTIVE. Oh my gosh! Furthermore, her friend who happens to be my best friend's daughter AGREES with her and so does my best friend! Oh my goodness, I feel another brain aneurysm coming on. And to think, all I did was ask where they were off to and what time they'd be home and showing a little apprehensiveness about Charlie-Anne meeting up with a boy and ending up in the wrong part of the city, and asking for her not to go alone anywhere in the dark... I joked around a lot about it, but it seems no one thought I was funny... Ugh. Well hell's bells... If anyone needs to know anything, call a teenage girl. It seems they know everything. Should save us a lot on college and university. It appears my life experience and yours amounts to nothing of importance.
Seems another mistake I've made during our visit was trying too hard to please her by hugging her and embarrassing her so that she would know she was a part of our family and had a place in our home. Jeez! All I did was hug her in public and when she showed interest in a boy, I asked him if he thought she was pretty and asked him for his phone number. Well, at least she was pleased with me getting the phone number... I did something right!!! Wooooo-hoooooooo!!! Little does she know I did it as a joke. I do it to my best friend all the time. Back fired on me now, didn't it. I bet the little schmuck is calling or texting her as we speak.
To answer your question, after years of observation, multiple hypothesis, well-structured analysis and deeply reviewed interpretations, my friends and apparently Charlie have finally came to the conclusion that I'M NOT NORMAL. I like my children safe and sound. I like to make sure they're not bored and are having a good time. I like to make sure that when they venture out at night when it's dark that they don't do it alone, and I enjoy 'family time,' playing games like bocci ball, croquet and swimming. I want them to know how much I love them, and give them all the attention I humanly can. I also think that a boy must pass a breathalyzer, drug test, lie detector, back-ground check and psych evaluation in order to qualify for a first date with my girl. It seems that this is not what a responsible, loving, caring step parent or parent is supposed to do. We're supposed to give our children freedom to do as they choose and go wherever they please at any time they want. I'm not suppose to worry about them getting hurt or kidnapped. Oooops. My mistake.
I've learned some things about me during our visit with Charlie-Anne though. Even with our opposing views on how I should 'behave,' I love her no matter what. When she was unhappy, I cried in private. I love her a tiny, smidgen, half a millimeter less then I love my own son, something Dayton's not crazy about, but I can't help myself. I think she's the most beautiful girl on the face of this planet. I think she deserves more than I can give her, and whether she likes it or not, I don't think there's a male on this planet that is good enough for her. I suppose I love her as though she was my own daughter. She somehow completes my family, and without her, I feel truly sad. I just wish she had a little more patience for me and how I think. Speaking about the way they think...
I've been trying to teach Dayton how to tie his shoes for the past three years. I figured the easiest way was to teach him the two bunny ears way, you know, the two loops, cross them and flip one 'bunny ear' into the whole and voila! You have a tied shoe. He just couldn't get the hang of it.
After coming home from shopping for school supplies for both Dayton and Charlie, I asked Charlie if she wouldn't mind showing Dayton how to tie his shoes, as Dayton desperately wanted to wear his new shoes outside and show his buddies. I told him if he learned how to tie them, he could wear them... Charlie showed him once and taught him for a whole five minutes... and Dayton tied his shoes!!! Wow!!! He really did it!!! I was thrilled!!! I watched him tie his shoes and thought the way he did it was tricky, but Charlie-Anne said that she thought the bunny ears way was too tricky... Obviously, so did Dayton, and so does their dad... Way too many similarities. The only difference between Charlie-Anne and Dayton is Dayton's pervasiveness over words, toys and activities. Also, Dayton's communication skills are obviously weaker and his understanding of feelings.
Now if I can just get the girl to understand my feelings... Walking away from this vacation, I learned that raising children is like raising monkeys on acid. You just don't know what they're thinking and have no idea what they're going to say or do next. All you know is that you should brace yourself, cause it's gonna be a roller coaster ride. Autism or no autism, children are wild!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Concern Over Autism Diva Help Blog - Need Your Help
I got a phone call from Dayton's school division to discuss their concern over my blog. When I met with the lady, she was straight with me. I like that. There was no mistaking her intentions, and I felt comfortable telling her my own intentions with this blog. Do I like criticism? Nope. But there's something about 'constructive criticism' that I don't mind.
The lady was concerned about the blog's affect on my relationship with Dayton's school. I explained to her that after the principal retires, I basically won't have a relationship with the school, and so far, even with the principal there, the relationship has been very strained. While I feel comfortable talking to the principal, I can not work with the guidance counselor, and as a result of her constant disrespect of me as human being, I'm having Dayton bussed to and from school, so that I don't have to enter the school. How difficult do you think it is for me to have to send Dayton back there, day after day, when I myself feel so uncomfortable?
I do feel bad about one of my posts regarding the principal, where I titled the post Email To Ms Cruella Deville aka Dayton's Principal. The post itself I don't feel bad about at all, but I suppose the title is hurtful, and it was not my intent to hurt the principal. I never thought the principal would read it and therefore didn't consider her feelings. I honestly didn't expect Autism Diva Help to be this popular. I'm still in shock that in exactly 3 months of launching Autism Diva Help, I've had just under 5,000 hits!
The lady was concerned about the blog's affect on my relationship with Dayton's school. I explained to her that after the principal retires, I basically won't have a relationship with the school, and so far, even with the principal there, the relationship has been very strained. While I feel comfortable talking to the principal, I can not work with the guidance counselor, and as a result of her constant disrespect of me as human being, I'm having Dayton bussed to and from school, so that I don't have to enter the school. How difficult do you think it is for me to have to send Dayton back there, day after day, when I myself feel so uncomfortable?
I do feel bad about one of my posts regarding the principal, where I titled the post Email To Ms Cruella Deville aka Dayton's Principal. The post itself I don't feel bad about at all, but I suppose the title is hurtful, and it was not my intent to hurt the principal. I never thought the principal would read it and therefore didn't consider her feelings. I honestly didn't expect Autism Diva Help to be this popular. I'm still in shock that in exactly 3 months of launching Autism Diva Help, I've had just under 5,000 hits!
| ||
| ||
| ||
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)