Time For A New Me?

Between visiting with friends in Campbell River, BC and catching up with friends here in Winnipeg after my return from BC, then meeting Super Dad, I've been thinking about how people change.  Am I the same person I was ten years ago?  Definitely not!  I was dating, and Dayton wasn't quite a twinkle in his daddy's eye.  I was fit, working out religiously, cautious of my diet and even dabbled in body building...  I had energy galore!  And now...

Had a baby by C-section (surgery numero uno), then a hysterectomy and later a bi-lateral mastectomy with a tram-flap (a 16 hour medical surgery that took close to 20 hours)...  My energy levels have depleted and my body shape is a whole lot different...  I mean waaaaay different.

My friend Jen who had moved to BC in September has completely changed since I had seen her three months ago.  Never really a 'big girl,' she now looks like a freaking super model!  Mind you, she's 24 years old and has no kids, but still!  She's completely changed her life and is actually so in love with hot yoga, she's decided to teach it!  She's also become a vegetarian, which I think is awesome...  I have an aversion to touching raw meat...  a whole new story in itself...

Jen hiking with Dayton and I, and yes, there were vultures circling above me there too.

Another friend, Kim, has lost over 75 lbs in less than a year!  An amazing accomplishment!  She looks fantastic!!!  She made us supper one night during our stay in Campbell River, and I couldn't stop staring at her.  I'm sure she thought I had changed too...  not only wider in the hips but gone a little 'weird.'  Sure didn't help that she wore these cute camouflage capri's with something spelled out in shiny diamond rhinestones on her behind...  That was really distracting, as we all know how much I like pretty, shiny bling, never mind the fact that the size of her behind used to be twice the size it is now!  She's lost the equivalent of a 6th grader people!!!

My weight loss guru, she's gorgeous!

When I got home from BC, my friend picked me up at the airport...  She had been losing weight for the last three months, and I couldn't believe how much more weight she had lost in the two weeks I had been gone...   I went for walks with her and her kids and Dayton on bikes, roller blades and a third one walking with us...  It was embarrassing!  I was left in the dust with their family dog (an ankle biting mini poodle I jokingly call 'killer,' which the dog answers to now).  I swear when I looked up in the sky I saw vultures circling up high above us, waiting for me to pass out beside the dog.  I decided that walking outside was no longer an option and that indoor workouts would need to begin or I was OUT.

Not the best picture of Shelley, but she doesn't read my blog anyway...  LOL!!!

Finally, Super Dad.  While I may have just met him, talking to him over a cup of coffee and listening to his story, he's gone through some major changes in life this past year himself.  Some changes he had no choice in, like the loss of his beloved wife and becoming a single parent of five.  Other changes he had partial control of, like knowing he was about to lose his job and deciding if it was going to happen, it would happen on his terms.  And the change he had control of, his career.  Changing careers from a produce manager to a teacher's assistant is a huge change!  These two careers have absolutely nothing in common!  But he's doing it.  With a smile on his face.  No gritting his teeth and no feeling sorry for himself about anything!

Unfortunately, the only picture I have of Super Dad...  LOL

These three friends listed above have one thing in common...  COURAGE.

It's my birthday today, and I'm thinking to myself 'am I happy with choices I've made in my life?  Is there anything I can do to change what I don't like, my career, my health, my scope of influence?  If so, do I have the courage to change?'

Is this what they call a mid life crisis?  Maybe, but I can see where my life needs to change.  I need a better 'balance' in my life.  For the past five years I've been eating, breathing, drinking, dreaming autism, ADHD, OCD, ODD, PDD-NOS and global delays.  I've been reading and now this past year writing about it.  I'm not suggesting I stop any of it, I just need to find some time to myself to rejuvenate.  I need some 'me' time, where I focus on what it is that I want and what I NEED.  All this time I've thought how selfish it is to do anything for me and take that time away from Dayton, but I'm finally starting to realize that while I am taking care of every single one of Dayton's needs, I've neglected the most important one of all:  giving Dayton a healthy, well rounded mom.  Everyone deserves one of those, right?

"The true definition of insanity: Doing the same task over and over, and expecting a different outcome" - Albert Einstein




Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou