Sunday, 6 November 2011

Roses And Thorns

There's a column in a Campbell River local newspaper called Roses and Thorns.  I love the title!  And some of the gripping and loving stories are interesting, but what I found most interesting is that the 'thorns' stories were much, much longer than the 'rose' stories.  This made me think of me...  I hate it when that happens.

Why is it that we seem to do more gripping and complaining than we do telling 'rose' stories?  Possibly human nature, a sort of 'misery loves company kind of thing.'  Maybe we all pretend to be positive, but deep inside we're just negative Nelley's...

When it boils right down to it, my major 'thorn' is ignorance.  And not just ignorance when it comes to autism or ADHD, but any kind of ignorance.  I have no patience for stupid, or unsolicited advice.  All of my 'thorns' stem from people that have an intelligence deficiency, this includes members of my family (remember, I have a small 'blood related' family here in Canada, consisting of my dad, then Dayton and I.  Seeing how I think Dayton is the best thing since sliced bread, it's not him, leaving two of us left.  Another clue - it ain't me.  That leaves one person standing).

Now my 'roses...'
I don't speak of my 'roses' nearly enough as I should.  So I'd like to take this opportunity to do so...

- Dayton's grade four teacher...  Thank God for her.  I love her.  My son loves her, and tells me she 'gets' him.  Grade 4 has become the best year Dayton's had since kindergarten.  No phone calls home to complain about Dayton's behavior.  No 'novellas' like last year.

- Dayton's educational assistant.  Looks like she doesn't put up with his bossiness.  He doesn't control her or have her for lunch, and yet she's so tiny!  I am so grateful to have an educational assistant vs. an 'aid.'  I'm certain that between her and Dayton's teacher's efforts, they've managed to actually have my son learn how to read AND write!  Hooray!!!

- Dayton's guidance counselor.  I know...  Her and I have NEVER gotten along, and I always felt as though she was judging everything about me, right down to my face.  While this year the two of us have had limited contact, the contact we have had has been much more positive then in the past, and she's done a fantastic job researching air travel, preparing an interactive social story for Dayton to be more at ease to fly (remember, he was afraid of going on a plane because it may crash, but thanks to her hard work, he was quite at ease when the time came to travel).

- Dayton's resource teacher...  You know, even though the last two years have felt like I've lived in a literal hell, she was the only person that never had anything negative to say to me about Dayton.  She smiled whenever she saw us, especially at Dayton, and every time she saw me, she made sure to tell me how much she loves my babe.   I wish I knew her better.

- Grandpa Paul and Grandma Kathleen...  I don't even know where to begin with these two...  I love them and respect them as my own parents, calling them mom and dad.  Not only did dad cut short his business trip to come and be with us for grandpa Jerry's funeral, but the two of them sent us money to help us out financially knowing how difficult it was to financially not only make the trip to BC, but how difficult it was going to be for the next couple of weeks getting caught up on bills and meals.  Needless to say, we're not having much of a Christmas this year.  We won't have the cash to buy presents...  But, we will still have each other, and that's what makes Christmas, not the 'gifts.'  We are blessed to have grandpa Paul and grandma Kathleen in our lives, and blessed to be allowed to call them mom and dad, and blessed to have their love.  Dad spent a week consoling us about grandpa Jerry's death, helping with the family as a counselor, and gave grandma Margaret a book his own mother wrote after the death of his father.   And...  he babysat my bio dad...  The biggest Rose in God's creation to my daddy Paul.

- Cousin Evan and his wife Kim.  Whenever we come to Regina, they open their doors to us and give us a place to not only stay, but feel included in their family.  They've just received a blessed addition to their family, little Stensen, a bouncing baby boy, and I'm just absolutely dying to meet this little guy.  My next trip to Regina will be spent mostly with him, as I intend to give the mom and dad a night away from home to do whatever they want.  I can hardly wait!!!  I've seen pictures of little Stensen, and he's a real charmer, just like his daddy.

- My friends S and J who willingly accept Dayton for who he is, and love him as their own.  Their children are Dayton's best friends after school.

- Dayton's grandma Karen.  She just has this knack for knowing exactly what my boy is thinking.  She knows the difference between his autistic moments and his moments of being a little monkey.  She understands how he thinks, and works within his parameters to get the best out of him.  I'm totally missing her as she's not coming back from Colorado, and I don't have it in my heart to break the news to Dayton...

- My CSS worker Diana Sanders...  I no longer live in her catchment area, and haven't for a couple of years, yet she's still here with me, helping me get the diagnosis for Dayton and constantly offering a helping hand.

- My CFSSuderman.  She's given me back my self worth as a parent, and assurance that no matter how many times Dayton's school has called CFS, I AM more than just a good parent, and I love my child, and I will do whatever it takes to get Dayton whatever he needs.  She's been my backbone when I couldn't handle the school's ridicule of my parenting and Dayton's behavior.  Brenda has given me back my self respect, and that is a huge thing.  As a parent, having your child's school call CFS is a huge slap in the face, and it shows just what they think of you.  Brenda was there for me, assuring me that I am not what they've made me out to be, and that I am a fantastic parent. 

Consider yourselves hugged,


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