Non-Violent Crisis Intervention Or Abuse?

You know how we as parents have no rights to our children and are not allowed to spank them?  Excuse me...  Yes, we're allowed to give them one spank on a fully clothed bum with our hand and no object.  Makes sense.  I mean, I can't imagine wielding the cooking spoon my mamma used to spank me with, as my butt broke them and than she'd get even madder.  But one?  One time only?

Please don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not implying that we should abuse our kids.  I'm simply showing you how much rights we have in our own decisions when it comes to our kids.  But the schools...  oh yes, they have much more rights over the child I had the complicated and strenuous, life threatening pregnancy with.  They get to treat my babe any way they want to, whether I like it or not.  Which is why when I read this article, I nearly had a stroke.  No kidding, my right eye is still twitching and it has been for the last two days since I read this:
http://www.facebook.com/notes/autism-canada-foundation/protect-all-students-from-deadly-restraint-and-seclusion-practices-in-schools/10150609115612868

So, let me get this straight...  Right now, today, there are no federal regulations in place for the safety of our children who are disciplined by their teachers...  But there are against us as parents...  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Pardon my French, but what the hell is wrong with this picture?

Now imagine what parents go through when their child is manhandled by teachers we put our trust in.  Dayton and I can tell you what it's like.  We've experienced it many times, the most recent horrifying experience for me was two years ago when four teachers (yes, I said four teachers) struggled to do "non-violent crisis intervention."

Can you imagine if we threw a party and decided that four of us should throw ourselves on  my boy to "calm him down?"  Seriously?  Before I continue, I'd like to add that I would rather dig out my eye balls, pull out my nails with tweezers along with all body hair and lie on a bed of nails and bleed to death before I'd ever throw myself, never mind allow three more adults to throw themselves on my baby.

In saying that, let's pretend that I'm the monster that hides in the closet your child talks of in the middle of the night and did that...  CFS would come in here and take my baby away without blinking an eye.  But the school?  Yeah, that's right.  Nothing.  Notta.  No investigation, no chastisement.  My babe was traumatized and couldn't eat or drink for two days, hiding under his bed and refused to come out.  You can imagine the stench coming out of that room.  No one from the school came to clean it either.

While I understand that some children become violent, we need to look at why they become violent.  I know the incident with the four teachers and my son took place because of another student's back pack.  Had the teacher or aid not argued with Dayton, having two different arguments, they would not have had to "throw themselves" on top of Dayton to "calm him down."  Dayton is very literal.  The question posed to him was "Dayton, did you rip the back pack,"  when they watched him stick his finger in a tear that was already there, and pull his finger down to make the rip longer.  Can you see where their argument led to?  Let me clear it up for you in case you're a parent reading this with a neurotypical child...  Children on the autism spectrum are "literal thinkers."  In Dayton's mind, the back pack was already ripped, and that was his argument.  To this day, he'll freak out and yell at you:  "I didn't rip the damn back pack!!!"  He's not able to tell you that he ripped it further.  He's not able to articulate that the back pack had a small rip in it, and that he tore it further, but he did not start the rip.  All he can tell you is that "I didn't do it."

If you stick your finger in my face and accuse me of doing something I didn't do, get ready to lose your finger.  Just saying.  I'm not a violent person, but push me far enough, and you'll get it.  There's only so much a person can handle, and my babe is no different.

So, I ask you, with all do respect...  Does the situation really need to become a non-crisis intervention?  Are you sure you've discussed the situation with the child and come to understand what he/she is trying to tell you?  If the answer is yes, then perhaps we need to see if inclusion is truly working.  While I don't want my babe to be manhandled, I certainly don't want to put a teacher or another child in danger either.

Fortunately for me, Dayton has a principal and teacher with a brain this year.  Thank goodness for us, manhandling is no longer an issue.  Dayton's teacher is a saint, and his principal truly cares about Dayton and the rest of the kids attending the school.  We are blessed.  I pray you are as well.


Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou