This was our second time out for "coffee" as a group and Mike and I really need to come up with a name for this coffee meeting we're trying to get started, to create a sense of community for parents with children on the autism spectrum. You know, a place where you can vent if you want with, no one looking at you as though you've gone completely insane because they can not possibly understand what your life is like. Like the time where I told my friend how Dayton as a toddler would press his ear to the floor and crawl in my kitchen while feeling the texture on the side of his face... Maybe his ear was itchy? She kind of looked at me like I was raising a freak or something...
Getting out with the parents was nice because I felt like I'm not alone. It was hard for me to leave the comfort of my nice warm living room when all I felt like doing was cuddling up under a blankie and watch a movie with Dayton who was sad because daddy's left town again for a month. In saying this, I know that secluding ourselves in the house is NOT healthy. However... it is soooooo much easier to just stay at home. Staying at home means that Dayton has his toys at his finger tips. I have my jammies and am super comfortable wrapped in a blankie. If Dayton has a hissy fit, I don't have to explain anything to anyone. I just deal with it. There's no one there to judge us. Life is so much easier this way, with no one there to judge my son, my parenting or me.
Listening to the two moms' stories of their younger boys, I recalled similarities with Dayton at their age. Another thing that came up that we had in common was extreme morning sickness requiring the anti-nausea drug Diclectin (doxylamine succinate, pyridoxine hydrochloride), which is the only anti-nauseant / antiemetic specifically prescribed by doctors to pregnant women to manage nausea.
We also shared gestational diabetes, and I myself had pre-eclampsia (formerly known as toxemia - sounds harsh). We all have mercury fillings... Makes you wonder, doesn't it? I think research should direct it's way into pre-natal care, just saying. In saying that, a lot more research needs to be done on helping our kids as they will be adults soon. Dayton's already turning ten this February, how FAST time flew by! And no wonder... I've been so busy with doctors appointments, hospital trips, observations, numerous ear infections, surgeries, EEG's, behaviour therapists, neurologist, developmental specialists, school, etc...
It's good getting out of the house, sharing stories and feeling accepted no matter what. We even talked about CFS being called on us because of our children's behaviour, and the emotional turmoil and humiliation it brought.
It doesn't look that the world around us is going to change. It's up to us to cope, but how do you cope alone? I don't know about you, but I for one need some emotional support, not counselling, but meeting with parents out there that understand. But getting out of the house... It's just so time consuming, and I'm lazy. Yeah, I said it, you heard me - I AM LAZY. If I don't have to do it, I won't do it. It's one more thing on my list of things I have to do, and my list is huge. Whopping big. Enormous. Gigantic. I have many things to do and people to annoy. It's my thing.
But then I think of one of my autism mom friends, God bless her, who is in immense pain, using crutches to get out in this weather, and I think to myself: if she is doing it, you need to get your butt in gear and just do it! Plus, she made the mistake of trusting my driving... and didn't get scared even when I got us lost and made illegal U-turns...
The toughest exercise in life is to just get out and do it. Once you're doing it, it becomes easier and easier and eventually becomes a routine.
So, if you live in the Winnipeg area, keep an eye out on the Autism Winnipeg Facebook page. That's where we post when and where we'll meet up. Feel free to email me as well for times and places.
autism.diva.help@gmail.com
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
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