I know Dayton's been in school for only three days, but WOW!!! I sure pray I'm not jinxing myself in announcing this, but I am sooooo pleased with Dayton's teacher, aid and principal right now. Dayton just came home and showed me all his "check marks" he earned at school, and I am so proud of my little guy, I'm practically GUSHING!!! It must have taken Dayton's teacher quite some time to make up this check mark system, and his aid and teacher time again to fill it out. And the sense of accomplishment Dayton feels right at this very moment shines right through him. I haven't seen him so happy to be in school EVER. I have never been this impressed before either!!!
Again, I'm terrified that I'm jinxing myself, but I am so very, very pleased. I pray this continues throughout this school year, and worry that Dayton's educators may not have the stamina to keep this up through the whole year, but for now I choose to relish in Dayton's success and celebrate with him. I feel fortunate that Dayton has a teacher and an aid who obviously recognize that being organized is key in education, and that children on the autism spectrum must see immediate and positive results before being able to comply with what we as adults wish for them to achieve.
Anyways, back to celebrating! I just had to take a few minutes to share with everyone! I'm so happy!!! And most importantly, Dayton is happy. The old saying "If mamma ain't happy, ain't no body happy" is not true in my home. Here the motto goes "If Dayton ain't happy, ain't no body happy" is the very much the case. And Dayton is HAPPY!!! Hoooray!!!
If Dayton's teacher, aid and principal are reading this, THANK YOU!!! You've made our home a happy home tonight!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Monday, 12 September 2011
Our Morning Of The First Day Of School
Holly crap. Dayton woke up at 5am all on his own, got dressed, brushed his teeth, showered, brushed his hair, put his shoes on and packed a few things for his lunch... Never, in his school history has he gotten up two hours early of his own accord, and got ready for school! Meanwhile, I'm wondering around the house like a zombie as I've only had two hours of sleep, grunting to answer Dayton's questions. Stumbling around the kitchen with eyes half open, I somehow managed to make coffee, just wished I had the energy to drink it! You know things are bad when you mentally pray to God to give you the strength to drink your coffee. Let's face it, coffee is a nectar from the Gods, and if you need to get something accomplished during your day, coffee is a necessity. In my case, I need coffee to just simply speak. I wish someone would come up with an intravenous form of coffee... I'd be willing to be a guini pig in the study, so please, spread the word!!!
Anyhow... back to Dayton and his first day of school... an hour before his bus is to pick him up, Dayton's already asking to go and wait for the bus. By this time, I've managed to make his lunch, but I'm still grunting responses and trying to finish my first cup of coffee... And I'm thinking SERIOUSLY? This is the same kid who swore all summer he's never going back to school! I'm still trying to figure out where all of his energy is coming from, I mean, the kid refused to go to sleep the night before, staying up until close to 1am, and now he's up sooooo early... What's happened to the kid that has to sleep eight to ten hours a day?! So I end up walking to the bus stop with Dayton twenty minutes early, carrying my first cup of coffee with me.
The bus of course is fifteen minutes late, as it is the first day of school... I was expecting that, and as much as I tried to prepare Dayton for it, he wasn't as understanding as I was. Go figure, I'm the one that spazes all the time, and yet I'm remaining calm (probably due to lack of caffeine), and Dayton's going nuts. His autism kicks in...
"The city bus has come by already mamma, where's my bus?! The city bus always comes before my bus. Call the bus mamma, they forgot about me."
"Babe, they could never forget about you sweetie. It's the first day of school. Many parents forget during the two months how long it takes to get their kids out the door, they're running late, which makes your bus late."
"But my bus ALWAYS comes after the city bus!!!" A little melt down... Then another change... A school bus we think is ours, turns into the high school across the street where we live... Holly crap...
"Maaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaa!!!" Now we've got a wee bit of a melt down, but it's OK. I've sucked back the rest of my coffee by now. I'm alive! I can take care of this!
Thank God our bus came within minutes of the blow out. Dayton calmed down when he saw the bus slow down and recognize his bus driver. He got on the bus, looked out the window and gave me a lil' wave. Big grin on his face. He may be nine, and he looks like he's nine, but this morning's melt down reminded me of a five year old. At this point all I can do is pray the rest of his day goes well. New teacher, new principal, new aid... Definitely clutching my cell phone beside me all day long. Two choices, back to bed or more coffee? Back to bed it is, with my phone on the pillow beside me, just in case. No call from the school.
3:10pm. I'm outside waiting for Dayton's bus, wearing my bathing suit and sarong, so if Dayton had a rough day, he'd be excited at seeing me knowing my attire meant we would be going swimming. I see the bus round the corner and become a little nervous. Dayton comes off the bus, and he's SMILING!!! Wow!!! On our walk home, he tells me how hard he worked "my first day of grade four. Grade four is really hard mom, but I did good work, just like you told me too. I did what the teacher said. I kept my hands to myself. I did good mamma!!!"
"What kind of work did you do? Tell me everything, right from the beginning!"
"I almost fell asleep on the bus, but I didn't. I got to school, met my teacher and my aid, and the kids in my class. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the recess bell rang. hahahaha."
"Really? You slept in class? What was your aid doing?"
"Oh, she was tired too."
"Hahahaha. Tell me more. What happened next."
"Then my tummy hurt, but the principal said I had to stay at school and not go home yet, cause it might get better. Then we had art class, and we had to draw our sneaker and I did. Mrs. H (his aid) helped me where I got stuck. I did most of it all by myself."
"Wow Dayton, that's fantastic! So, do you like your new teacher?"
"She's really good, better than Mrs. D. I like Mrs. H, but I miss Mr. J (Dayton's last year's aid)."
"OK, so what makes you like this year's teacher better Dayton?"
"She understand me."
"You mean you understand her? Her instruction? You understand what she wants you to do?"
"Yeah, and she's nice."
Hey, if he's comfortable, I'm comfortable too. I'm super happy he's doing work, and listening to his teachers.
"Then my teacher got sick too. So the new principal came in to teach us. I like him too. He didn't give me any trouble."
"Well, could that be because you listened to him, did your work, and did what you were asked to do without fighting?"
"Maybe. I like him."
"That's great Dayton. I'm so glad you like your teacher, your aid and the new principal. That's awesome!"
I pray this good relationship continues. Everyone's had the summer off to relax and rejuvenate, so I hope the good vibes don't end once everyone gets into routine and feels overwhelmed with work. I pray Dayton is right, and that his teacher does understand Dayton, and that Dayton understands her too. I pray for a year of success.
Praying for a year of success for all of our little ones. Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Anyhow... back to Dayton and his first day of school... an hour before his bus is to pick him up, Dayton's already asking to go and wait for the bus. By this time, I've managed to make his lunch, but I'm still grunting responses and trying to finish my first cup of coffee... And I'm thinking SERIOUSLY? This is the same kid who swore all summer he's never going back to school! I'm still trying to figure out where all of his energy is coming from, I mean, the kid refused to go to sleep the night before, staying up until close to 1am, and now he's up sooooo early... What's happened to the kid that has to sleep eight to ten hours a day?! So I end up walking to the bus stop with Dayton twenty minutes early, carrying my first cup of coffee with me.
The bus of course is fifteen minutes late, as it is the first day of school... I was expecting that, and as much as I tried to prepare Dayton for it, he wasn't as understanding as I was. Go figure, I'm the one that spazes all the time, and yet I'm remaining calm (probably due to lack of caffeine), and Dayton's going nuts. His autism kicks in...
"The city bus has come by already mamma, where's my bus?! The city bus always comes before my bus. Call the bus mamma, they forgot about me."
"Babe, they could never forget about you sweetie. It's the first day of school. Many parents forget during the two months how long it takes to get their kids out the door, they're running late, which makes your bus late."
"But my bus ALWAYS comes after the city bus!!!" A little melt down... Then another change... A school bus we think is ours, turns into the high school across the street where we live... Holly crap...
"Maaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaa!!!" Now we've got a wee bit of a melt down, but it's OK. I've sucked back the rest of my coffee by now. I'm alive! I can take care of this!
Thank God our bus came within minutes of the blow out. Dayton calmed down when he saw the bus slow down and recognize his bus driver. He got on the bus, looked out the window and gave me a lil' wave. Big grin on his face. He may be nine, and he looks like he's nine, but this morning's melt down reminded me of a five year old. At this point all I can do is pray the rest of his day goes well. New teacher, new principal, new aid... Definitely clutching my cell phone beside me all day long. Two choices, back to bed or more coffee? Back to bed it is, with my phone on the pillow beside me, just in case. No call from the school.
3:10pm. I'm outside waiting for Dayton's bus, wearing my bathing suit and sarong, so if Dayton had a rough day, he'd be excited at seeing me knowing my attire meant we would be going swimming. I see the bus round the corner and become a little nervous. Dayton comes off the bus, and he's SMILING!!! Wow!!! On our walk home, he tells me how hard he worked "my first day of grade four. Grade four is really hard mom, but I did good work, just like you told me too. I did what the teacher said. I kept my hands to myself. I did good mamma!!!"
"What kind of work did you do? Tell me everything, right from the beginning!"
"I almost fell asleep on the bus, but I didn't. I got to school, met my teacher and my aid, and the kids in my class. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until the recess bell rang. hahahaha."
"Really? You slept in class? What was your aid doing?"
"Oh, she was tired too."
"Hahahaha. Tell me more. What happened next."
"Then my tummy hurt, but the principal said I had to stay at school and not go home yet, cause it might get better. Then we had art class, and we had to draw our sneaker and I did. Mrs. H (his aid) helped me where I got stuck. I did most of it all by myself."
"Wow Dayton, that's fantastic! So, do you like your new teacher?"
"She's really good, better than Mrs. D. I like Mrs. H, but I miss Mr. J (Dayton's last year's aid)."
"OK, so what makes you like this year's teacher better Dayton?"
"She understand me."
"You mean you understand her? Her instruction? You understand what she wants you to do?"
"Yeah, and she's nice."
Hey, if he's comfortable, I'm comfortable too. I'm super happy he's doing work, and listening to his teachers.
"Then my teacher got sick too. So the new principal came in to teach us. I like him too. He didn't give me any trouble."
"Well, could that be because you listened to him, did your work, and did what you were asked to do without fighting?"
"Maybe. I like him."
"That's great Dayton. I'm so glad you like your teacher, your aid and the new principal. That's awesome!"
I pray this good relationship continues. Everyone's had the summer off to relax and rejuvenate, so I hope the good vibes don't end once everyone gets into routine and feels overwhelmed with work. I pray Dayton is right, and that his teacher does understand Dayton, and that Dayton understands her too. I pray for a year of success.
Praying for a year of success for all of our little ones. Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Friday, 9 September 2011
And School Is In Session!
So the time has come where most parents celebrate as screaming and upset children are taken to school by bus... But not this parent.
So, I got to meet Dayton's new teacher and teacher's assistant yesterday. I really don't want to jinx myself by saying this in public, but I like them both! I really hope that this is going to be a good year. I'm trying to think positive, and praying that I warm up to the new principal soon. We got off on the wrong foot last week. Then again yesterday, and the day before that... I'm going to chalk it up to misunderstanding each other, and pray our relationship gets better. We have however, come to an agreement about Dayton's need for "quiet time" to work. And we agree on the classroom / storage room where Dayton can work with his teacher's assistant when he can not focus in the classroom.
Dayton's new teacher seemed very comfortable with our visit, as did Dayton's new teacher's assistant. His assistant is into wrestling... SCORE!!! Getting Dayton "unhooked" from guns, meant I had to help him find another "passion." And so the passion for wrestling and hockey began. Wrestling was his father's idea, naturally, and come to think of it, so was hockey... Good job dad!!! Back to the point, the teacher's assistant got Dayton's attention very quickly, and the bonus is that she has beautiful, long blond hair - Dayton's favorite! He loves blond, long hair, and the lady likes wrestling! Awesome!!! Dayton could not stop talking about her on his bike ride home. Instead of being super upset about going to school and dreading it as he has been these past few weeks, he's actually asking me when he'll see his assistant again! "Two sleep Dayton, and you'll get to see her again sweety."
"Cool. Do you think she'll let me play with her hair mamma?"
"I don't think so babe. Most ladies don't like their hair touched."
"But you like it when I do."
I don't have the heart to tell him that I only let him play with my hair to calm him down and help him fall asleep, not because I like it. Birds circle my head the next morning as I have my morning coffee on the patio, and my neighbours refer to me as "Dances with birds," because I scream like a banshee and swing the broom at the birds trying to nest in my hair. I go through two bottles of conditioner a month to get the knots out after his "hair time."
Dayton's new teacher is informed of Dayton's medication and asked appropriate questions. She seems to be prepared for Dayton and his needs, and made both Dayton and I very comfortable. She didn't try to "get rid" of us, was friendly with Dayton, and was well organized. I loved the way she set up the classroom, and loved that she put tennis balls on the feet of every chair in her classroom. I pointed this out to Dayton, as he has a problem with "scraping noises." Less distraction for him this way. He also thought that was "cool."
We even ran into the guidance counselor, who had a smile on her face, and looked so refreshed. Dayton hugged her, and showed her his new Chopper bike.
So, tomorrow will be the first day of this new school year. This is it. The time has come.
Pray for me, especially my sanity.
Pray for Dayton.
Pray for his teachers, especially their sanity.
Pray for success!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
So, I got to meet Dayton's new teacher and teacher's assistant yesterday. I really don't want to jinx myself by saying this in public, but I like them both! I really hope that this is going to be a good year. I'm trying to think positive, and praying that I warm up to the new principal soon. We got off on the wrong foot last week. Then again yesterday, and the day before that... I'm going to chalk it up to misunderstanding each other, and pray our relationship gets better. We have however, come to an agreement about Dayton's need for "quiet time" to work. And we agree on the classroom / storage room where Dayton can work with his teacher's assistant when he can not focus in the classroom.
Dayton's new teacher seemed very comfortable with our visit, as did Dayton's new teacher's assistant. His assistant is into wrestling... SCORE!!! Getting Dayton "unhooked" from guns, meant I had to help him find another "passion." And so the passion for wrestling and hockey began. Wrestling was his father's idea, naturally, and come to think of it, so was hockey... Good job dad!!! Back to the point, the teacher's assistant got Dayton's attention very quickly, and the bonus is that she has beautiful, long blond hair - Dayton's favorite! He loves blond, long hair, and the lady likes wrestling! Awesome!!! Dayton could not stop talking about her on his bike ride home. Instead of being super upset about going to school and dreading it as he has been these past few weeks, he's actually asking me when he'll see his assistant again! "Two sleep Dayton, and you'll get to see her again sweety."
"Cool. Do you think she'll let me play with her hair mamma?"
"I don't think so babe. Most ladies don't like their hair touched."
"But you like it when I do."
I don't have the heart to tell him that I only let him play with my hair to calm him down and help him fall asleep, not because I like it. Birds circle my head the next morning as I have my morning coffee on the patio, and my neighbours refer to me as "Dances with birds," because I scream like a banshee and swing the broom at the birds trying to nest in my hair. I go through two bottles of conditioner a month to get the knots out after his "hair time."
Dayton's new teacher is informed of Dayton's medication and asked appropriate questions. She seems to be prepared for Dayton and his needs, and made both Dayton and I very comfortable. She didn't try to "get rid" of us, was friendly with Dayton, and was well organized. I loved the way she set up the classroom, and loved that she put tennis balls on the feet of every chair in her classroom. I pointed this out to Dayton, as he has a problem with "scraping noises." Less distraction for him this way. He also thought that was "cool."
We even ran into the guidance counselor, who had a smile on her face, and looked so refreshed. Dayton hugged her, and showed her his new Chopper bike.
So, tomorrow will be the first day of this new school year. This is it. The time has come.
Pray for me, especially my sanity.
Pray for Dayton.
Pray for his teachers, especially their sanity.
Pray for success!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
... And Somehow, I've Become UNREASONABLE
Kids... they definitely need to come with a warning label: "I am exactly like my father." Sorry dads, but in my case it really is true.
After our visit with Charlie-Anne (my step daughter), I've come to see just how much Glen's kids are just like him. I honestly thought it was just Dayton, and seeing as how he is my only child, I now see just how naive I've really been...
I love Charlie to death, I really do. There's little I wouldn't do for that girl. I gave her my sweet sixteen family daughter ring, did all her laundry, brought her meals to the table, did all the dishes, and when I wasn't doing that, I spent every available waking moment with her, making sure she didn't get bored. When she left us, I felt like she took a chunk of my heart right along with her. I miss her like crazy and can't stop thinking about her since she's gone back to Regina last Thursday.
I wish I could say our entire two week visit was flawless, but she is fifteen, a teenager. You know there will be some disputes, especially since we just met her last September for the first time since she was two years old.
Dayton loves her to pieces too, and when she showed a wee bit more attention to his little buddy, he got a wee bit jealous. Of course, since he doesn't understand his feelings, he's not able to say what the problem is, and decides to push his little buddy in the pool in a fit of jealously, rather than try to talk out something he doesn't understand.
Some of the similarities I noticed the kids have with their dad is that none of them want to "talk" about their feelings or what they're thinking. When upset, they prefer to hide out and have a fit. They all pout in the same way. They prefer to learn things the hard way rather than seeing a simpler solution, they value money more than anything else, and they don't feel comfortable with affection or intimacy. How am I to survive this when I'm a touchy, lovey kind of gal? I love hugging both of the kids and kissing them good night. I refuse to go to bed angry or upset and don't want to be responsible for someone going to bed in this state of mind either, so talking things out is important to me. The learning things in a more difficult way I can deal with, providing they're learning. But when it comes to love and the emotional side of things, and preferring "things" over "love"... how do I deal with that and still be me?
As a teenager, Charlie-Anne things of me as... wait for it... OVERPROTECTIVE. Oh my gosh! Furthermore, her friend who happens to be my best friend's daughter AGREES with her and so does my best friend! Oh my goodness, I feel another brain aneurysm coming on. And to think, all I did was ask where they were off to and what time they'd be home and showing a little apprehensiveness about Charlie-Anne meeting up with a boy and ending up in the wrong part of the city, and asking for her not to go alone anywhere in the dark... I joked around a lot about it, but it seems no one thought I was funny... Ugh. Well hell's bells... If anyone needs to know anything, call a teenage girl. It seems they know everything. Should save us a lot on college and university. It appears my life experience and yours amounts to nothing of importance.
Seems another mistake I've made during our visit was trying too hard to please her by hugging her and embarrassing her so that she would know she was a part of our family and had a place in our home. Jeez! All I did was hug her in public and when she showed interest in a boy, I asked him if he thought she was pretty and asked him for his phone number. Well, at least she was pleased with me getting the phone number... I did something right!!! Wooooo-hoooooooo!!! Little does she know I did it as a joke. I do it to my best friend all the time. Back fired on me now, didn't it. I bet the little schmuck is calling or texting her as we speak.
To answer your question, after years of observation, multiple hypothesis, well-structured analysis and deeply reviewed interpretations, my friends and apparently Charlie have finally came to the conclusion that I'M NOT NORMAL. I like my children safe and sound. I like to make sure they're not bored and are having a good time. I like to make sure that when they venture out at night when it's dark that they don't do it alone, and I enjoy 'family time,' playing games like bocci ball, croquet and swimming. I want them to know how much I love them, and give them all the attention I humanly can. I also think that a boy must pass a breathalyzer, drug test, lie detector, back-ground check and psych evaluation in order to qualify for a first date with my girl. It seems that this is not what a responsible, loving, caring step parent or parent is supposed to do. We're supposed to give our children freedom to do as they choose and go wherever they please at any time they want. I'm not suppose to worry about them getting hurt or kidnapped. Oooops. My mistake.
I've learned some things about me during our visit with Charlie-Anne though. Even with our opposing views on how I should 'behave,' I love her no matter what. When she was unhappy, I cried in private. I love her a tiny, smidgen, half a millimeter less then I love my own son, something Dayton's not crazy about, but I can't help myself. I think she's the most beautiful girl on the face of this planet. I think she deserves more than I can give her, and whether she likes it or not, I don't think there's a male on this planet that is good enough for her. I suppose I love her as though she was my own daughter. She somehow completes my family, and without her, I feel truly sad. I just wish she had a little more patience for me and how I think. Speaking about the way they think...
I've been trying to teach Dayton how to tie his shoes for the past three years. I figured the easiest way was to teach him the two bunny ears way, you know, the two loops, cross them and flip one 'bunny ear' into the whole and voila! You have a tied shoe. He just couldn't get the hang of it.
After coming home from shopping for school supplies for both Dayton and Charlie, I asked Charlie if she wouldn't mind showing Dayton how to tie his shoes, as Dayton desperately wanted to wear his new shoes outside and show his buddies. I told him if he learned how to tie them, he could wear them... Charlie showed him once and taught him for a whole five minutes... and Dayton tied his shoes!!! Wow!!! He really did it!!! I was thrilled!!! I watched him tie his shoes and thought the way he did it was tricky, but Charlie-Anne said that she thought the bunny ears way was too tricky... Obviously, so did Dayton, and so does their dad... Way too many similarities. The only difference between Charlie-Anne and Dayton is Dayton's pervasiveness over words, toys and activities. Also, Dayton's communication skills are obviously weaker and his understanding of feelings.
Now if I can just get the girl to understand my feelings... Walking away from this vacation, I learned that raising children is like raising monkeys on acid. You just don't know what they're thinking and have no idea what they're going to say or do next. All you know is that you should brace yourself, cause it's gonna be a roller coaster ride. Autism or no autism, children are wild!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
After our visit with Charlie-Anne (my step daughter), I've come to see just how much Glen's kids are just like him. I honestly thought it was just Dayton, and seeing as how he is my only child, I now see just how naive I've really been...
I love Charlie to death, I really do. There's little I wouldn't do for that girl. I gave her my sweet sixteen family daughter ring, did all her laundry, brought her meals to the table, did all the dishes, and when I wasn't doing that, I spent every available waking moment with her, making sure she didn't get bored. When she left us, I felt like she took a chunk of my heart right along with her. I miss her like crazy and can't stop thinking about her since she's gone back to Regina last Thursday.
I wish I could say our entire two week visit was flawless, but she is fifteen, a teenager. You know there will be some disputes, especially since we just met her last September for the first time since she was two years old.
Dayton loves her to pieces too, and when she showed a wee bit more attention to his little buddy, he got a wee bit jealous. Of course, since he doesn't understand his feelings, he's not able to say what the problem is, and decides to push his little buddy in the pool in a fit of jealously, rather than try to talk out something he doesn't understand.
Some of the similarities I noticed the kids have with their dad is that none of them want to "talk" about their feelings or what they're thinking. When upset, they prefer to hide out and have a fit. They all pout in the same way. They prefer to learn things the hard way rather than seeing a simpler solution, they value money more than anything else, and they don't feel comfortable with affection or intimacy. How am I to survive this when I'm a touchy, lovey kind of gal? I love hugging both of the kids and kissing them good night. I refuse to go to bed angry or upset and don't want to be responsible for someone going to bed in this state of mind either, so talking things out is important to me. The learning things in a more difficult way I can deal with, providing they're learning. But when it comes to love and the emotional side of things, and preferring "things" over "love"... how do I deal with that and still be me?
As a teenager, Charlie-Anne things of me as... wait for it... OVERPROTECTIVE. Oh my gosh! Furthermore, her friend who happens to be my best friend's daughter AGREES with her and so does my best friend! Oh my goodness, I feel another brain aneurysm coming on. And to think, all I did was ask where they were off to and what time they'd be home and showing a little apprehensiveness about Charlie-Anne meeting up with a boy and ending up in the wrong part of the city, and asking for her not to go alone anywhere in the dark... I joked around a lot about it, but it seems no one thought I was funny... Ugh. Well hell's bells... If anyone needs to know anything, call a teenage girl. It seems they know everything. Should save us a lot on college and university. It appears my life experience and yours amounts to nothing of importance.
Seems another mistake I've made during our visit was trying too hard to please her by hugging her and embarrassing her so that she would know she was a part of our family and had a place in our home. Jeez! All I did was hug her in public and when she showed interest in a boy, I asked him if he thought she was pretty and asked him for his phone number. Well, at least she was pleased with me getting the phone number... I did something right!!! Wooooo-hoooooooo!!! Little does she know I did it as a joke. I do it to my best friend all the time. Back fired on me now, didn't it. I bet the little schmuck is calling or texting her as we speak.
To answer your question, after years of observation, multiple hypothesis, well-structured analysis and deeply reviewed interpretations, my friends and apparently Charlie have finally came to the conclusion that I'M NOT NORMAL. I like my children safe and sound. I like to make sure they're not bored and are having a good time. I like to make sure that when they venture out at night when it's dark that they don't do it alone, and I enjoy 'family time,' playing games like bocci ball, croquet and swimming. I want them to know how much I love them, and give them all the attention I humanly can. I also think that a boy must pass a breathalyzer, drug test, lie detector, back-ground check and psych evaluation in order to qualify for a first date with my girl. It seems that this is not what a responsible, loving, caring step parent or parent is supposed to do. We're supposed to give our children freedom to do as they choose and go wherever they please at any time they want. I'm not suppose to worry about them getting hurt or kidnapped. Oooops. My mistake.
I've learned some things about me during our visit with Charlie-Anne though. Even with our opposing views on how I should 'behave,' I love her no matter what. When she was unhappy, I cried in private. I love her a tiny, smidgen, half a millimeter less then I love my own son, something Dayton's not crazy about, but I can't help myself. I think she's the most beautiful girl on the face of this planet. I think she deserves more than I can give her, and whether she likes it or not, I don't think there's a male on this planet that is good enough for her. I suppose I love her as though she was my own daughter. She somehow completes my family, and without her, I feel truly sad. I just wish she had a little more patience for me and how I think. Speaking about the way they think...
I've been trying to teach Dayton how to tie his shoes for the past three years. I figured the easiest way was to teach him the two bunny ears way, you know, the two loops, cross them and flip one 'bunny ear' into the whole and voila! You have a tied shoe. He just couldn't get the hang of it.
After coming home from shopping for school supplies for both Dayton and Charlie, I asked Charlie if she wouldn't mind showing Dayton how to tie his shoes, as Dayton desperately wanted to wear his new shoes outside and show his buddies. I told him if he learned how to tie them, he could wear them... Charlie showed him once and taught him for a whole five minutes... and Dayton tied his shoes!!! Wow!!! He really did it!!! I was thrilled!!! I watched him tie his shoes and thought the way he did it was tricky, but Charlie-Anne said that she thought the bunny ears way was too tricky... Obviously, so did Dayton, and so does their dad... Way too many similarities. The only difference between Charlie-Anne and Dayton is Dayton's pervasiveness over words, toys and activities. Also, Dayton's communication skills are obviously weaker and his understanding of feelings.
Now if I can just get the girl to understand my feelings... Walking away from this vacation, I learned that raising children is like raising monkeys on acid. You just don't know what they're thinking and have no idea what they're going to say or do next. All you know is that you should brace yourself, cause it's gonna be a roller coaster ride. Autism or no autism, children are wild!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 25 August 2011
Are You Ready For The New School Year?
Holly cow... Two more weeks, and the new school year begins... I'm soooooo not ready!!! I'm starting to have panic attacks already. They started off when I went to Walmart and saw the school supply list for grade four at Dayton's school... There are two teachers teaching grade four, and one of them is Dayton's grade three teacher... I didn't know which was going to be Dayton's teacher, and so I could not get school supplies as each teacher had her own school supply list!!! Oh nnnnnoooooooooooo!!! And so came panic attack number one. Number two took place when I got an email from the school requesting me to set up an appointment with Dayton's teacher, but which one is his teacher? Ugh! Where's my bubble?! I demand my bubble! Or at least a paper bag to breath into or puke in.
Anyways... I'm not ready. I'm losing sleep over it, and it's really rather silly. I mean I've still got two weeks to go, and yes, there will be problems, and I've dealt with them before... but I don't want to deal with them anymore. Is that selfish on my part? I mean, Dayton's my life, the air I breathe, my fruit to my loop and the peanut to my butter. But I'm tired of dealing with issues at his school. I really am.
Part of the issue is the school staff not understanding autism and Dayton's needs, and the other part is Dayton exhibits typical nine year old behavior, but because Dayton has the label of autism (PDD-NOS), ADHD and global delays, I get a phone call every time he's "naughty." It makes me wonder how often a parent with a neurotypical child gets calls to let them know every time their child gets into a dispute with a peer, or every time they got into an argument, or every time they used an inappropriate word. I say this because one of Dayton's buddies who attends this same school has no label, but is just as hyper, just as inappropriate and just as loud as Dayton, yet his parents have received one phone call in the last two years. I've lost track after twenty-five phone calls. Oh boy... here comes another panic attack...
But there is a silver lining to my worries. This year, the school has a new principal, who comes from one of the "cluster" schools in our division that has experience with children on the autism spectrum. Perhaps he can teach the guidance counselor how to guide? Maybe he can set a new tone for the school? Or maybe his predecessor has come to her senses and will come back as Dayton's aid? I suppose time will tell...
I've called the school, and Dayton has a new teacher this year. While I have mixed feelings on this "change," I suppose it's better for Dayton to have a new teacher than it is to force last year's teacher to actually care about him or his education. And now I know what to buy for his school supplies. Woooo hooooo!!!
I've also seen Dayton mature this summer. He's made a lot of progress due to my being ill in social skills and using his words rather than his little fists. He hasn't had any melt downs this past month. We've had a great time together this summer.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to run and hug the porcelain God... The anti-anxiety medications have not kicked in yet...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Anyways... I'm not ready. I'm losing sleep over it, and it's really rather silly. I mean I've still got two weeks to go, and yes, there will be problems, and I've dealt with them before... but I don't want to deal with them anymore. Is that selfish on my part? I mean, Dayton's my life, the air I breathe, my fruit to my loop and the peanut to my butter. But I'm tired of dealing with issues at his school. I really am.
Part of the issue is the school staff not understanding autism and Dayton's needs, and the other part is Dayton exhibits typical nine year old behavior, but because Dayton has the label of autism (PDD-NOS), ADHD and global delays, I get a phone call every time he's "naughty." It makes me wonder how often a parent with a neurotypical child gets calls to let them know every time their child gets into a dispute with a peer, or every time they got into an argument, or every time they used an inappropriate word. I say this because one of Dayton's buddies who attends this same school has no label, but is just as hyper, just as inappropriate and just as loud as Dayton, yet his parents have received one phone call in the last two years. I've lost track after twenty-five phone calls. Oh boy... here comes another panic attack...
But there is a silver lining to my worries. This year, the school has a new principal, who comes from one of the "cluster" schools in our division that has experience with children on the autism spectrum. Perhaps he can teach the guidance counselor how to guide? Maybe he can set a new tone for the school? Or maybe his predecessor has come to her senses and will come back as Dayton's aid? I suppose time will tell...
I've called the school, and Dayton has a new teacher this year. While I have mixed feelings on this "change," I suppose it's better for Dayton to have a new teacher than it is to force last year's teacher to actually care about him or his education. And now I know what to buy for his school supplies. Woooo hooooo!!!
I've also seen Dayton mature this summer. He's made a lot of progress due to my being ill in social skills and using his words rather than his little fists. He hasn't had any melt downs this past month. We've had a great time together this summer.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to run and hug the porcelain God... The anti-anxiety medications have not kicked in yet...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
What Happens At The Camp Fire, Stays At The Camp Fire, Unless You Read Autism Diva
I've missed most of the summer do to Glenda (the blasted kidney stone), but I'm finally free of it! Of course it took a second procedure where good 'ole Doogie Howser put a stint in me the day before our camping trip which kind of put a damper on the first day of camping as I could barely walk, but what a fantastic time camping!!!
The best part of this camping trip was that it was a family affair. Grandma and Grandpa Paul and Kathleen came all the way from Wisconsin, cousin Evan and his seven month pregnant wife Kim came with my step daughter (I can't stand that term, so I call her my girl) Charlie-Anne from Regina, and finally cousin Niel and his pregnant wife Kim (yup, we had two Kims!) and their two adorable daughters. My friend Shelley and her son Evan (Dayton's buddy) came and joined us and lodged in our camper too. The boys had a fantastic time!
I, on the other hand, was tormented by my shunt. Having to endure it for a week, I gave up three days into the trip, not caring about the consequences. Thank goodness I did, INSTANT RELIEF! Wooooo-hooooooooooooo!!! Time for FUN!!! And fun we had...
We exercised... Especially Evan and Evan... (Yup, had two Evans there too)
We fed the deer...
We pet the deer... Seems the deer thought Charlie-Anne was safe... Little did they know she's going to apply for her FAC as she wants to hunt them...
We stalked the deer...
Dayton, Evan and Charlie-Anne rode their Harley Choppers...
Dayton, Evan and Grandpa Paul went out with the metal detector to find our pot of gold...
We played board games...
We laughed so loud we had complaints every night... I'm surprised we didn't get banned from the camp ground. It really wasn't our fault... There was a fire ban in effect, which meant that everyone BUT us went to bed at 11pm. I mean seriously... It's camping! Who goes to bed that early CAMPING? No music, no fire, no hiking (not that I'm into hiking, just would have been nice to have had the option in case I decided to go on a diet and exercise regime... you know?)... Anyhow, our neighbors hated us. It seemed we were too red necked for 'em all. Oh well... We did manage to make a couple of friends that were even louder than us. The girls came to visit two nights during our trip. Turns our one of them works at my bank...
We goofed off...
And even got a little scary...
And made time for cuddling!
We had a lot of fun, and I wish we could have stayed longer... But, unfortunately, life's responsibilities continue, and so we're back home.
Time to get ready for the new school year... Ugh!!!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
The best part of this camping trip was that it was a family affair. Grandma and Grandpa Paul and Kathleen came all the way from Wisconsin, cousin Evan and his seven month pregnant wife Kim came with my step daughter (I can't stand that term, so I call her my girl) Charlie-Anne from Regina, and finally cousin Niel and his pregnant wife Kim (yup, we had two Kims!) and their two adorable daughters. My friend Shelley and her son Evan (Dayton's buddy) came and joined us and lodged in our camper too. The boys had a fantastic time!
I, on the other hand, was tormented by my shunt. Having to endure it for a week, I gave up three days into the trip, not caring about the consequences. Thank goodness I did, INSTANT RELIEF! Wooooo-hooooooooooooo!!! Time for FUN!!! And fun we had...
We exercised... Especially Evan and Evan... (Yup, had two Evans there too)
We fed the deer...
We pet the deer... Seems the deer thought Charlie-Anne was safe... Little did they know she's going to apply for her FAC as she wants to hunt them...
We stalked the deer...
Dayton, Evan and Charlie-Anne rode their Harley Choppers...
Dayton, Evan and Grandpa Paul went out with the metal detector to find our pot of gold...
We played board games...
We laughed so loud we had complaints every night... I'm surprised we didn't get banned from the camp ground. It really wasn't our fault... There was a fire ban in effect, which meant that everyone BUT us went to bed at 11pm. I mean seriously... It's camping! Who goes to bed that early CAMPING? No music, no fire, no hiking (not that I'm into hiking, just would have been nice to have had the option in case I decided to go on a diet and exercise regime... you know?)... Anyhow, our neighbors hated us. It seemed we were too red necked for 'em all. Oh well... We did manage to make a couple of friends that were even louder than us. The girls came to visit two nights during our trip. Turns our one of them works at my bank...
We goofed off...
And even got a little scary...
And made time for cuddling!
We had a lot of fun, and I wish we could have stayed longer... But, unfortunately, life's responsibilities continue, and so we're back home.
Time to get ready for the new school year... Ugh!!!
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Monday, 22 August 2011
Environment At Play In Autism
Environment at play in autism
Julie Steenhuysen, REUTERS
CHICAGO - Environmental factors may play a greater role in autism than previously thought, tipping the scale away from a strict focus on genetics, two studies suggest.
In one, a team at Stanford University compared cases of autism in identical and fraternal twins and found that fraternal twins — who share only half of the same genes — have unusually high rates of autism, suggesting that factors other than genetics may be triggering the disease.
In another, researchers at health insurer Kaiser Permanente found mothers of children with autism were twice as likely to have been prescribed a common antidepressant during the year before their pregnancy than mothers of healthy children.
And the risk was even greater — a threefold increase — when the drug was taken in the first trimester of pregnancy.
The findings, released in the Archives of General Psychiatry, suggest that something in the birth environment — drugs, chemicals or infections — may be triggering autism in children who are already genetically predisposed to develop the disease.
“It has been well-established that genetic factors contribute to risk for autism,” Clara Lajonchere, a study co-author and vice president of clinical programs for Autism Speaks, said in a statement.
“We now have strong evidence that, on top of genetic heritability, a shared prenatal environment may have a greater than previously realized role in the development of autism.”
Autism is a spectrum of disorders ranging from a profound inability to communicate and mental retardation to relatively mild symptoms such as with Asperger’s syndrome.
It affects one in every 150 children born today in the United States, or about 1% of the population.
SHARED ENVIRONMENT
The Stanford study involved 54 pairs of identical twins, who share 100% of the same genes, and 138 pairs of fraternal twins, who share half of the same genes.
In each pair, at least one of the twins had been diagnosed with autism.
The researchers found the chances of both children having autism spectrum disorder was higher among identical twins than among fraternal twins. But fraternal twins were much more likely to develop autism than studies of children in families where a sibling has autism.
According to the study, environmental factors common to twins explain about 55% of the cases of autism, and while genetic factors still play a role, it is much lower than seen in other studies of twins and autism.
“Environmental factors play a bigger role than previously thought,” said Dr. Joachim Hallmayer of Stanford University School of Medicine in California, who led the study.
Recent studies have suggested genetics played the biggest role in autism, but his findings suggest something different, he said in a telephone interview.
“We have to study both the genetics and the environment,” Hallmayer said. “If we look only at one side, I don’t think that will lead us to the right answer.”
COULD IT BE ANTIDEPRESSANTS?
In a separate study in the same journal, a team led by Lisa Croen, director of the Autism Research Program at the Kaiser Permanente Division of Research in Oakland, California, looked to see whether antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, contributed to autism risk.
The team studied nearly 300 children with autism and 1,500 randomly selected children and then checked their mothers’ medical records.
They found mothers of the children with autism were twice as likely to have taken an antidepressant in the year before delivery than children in the control group.
And the effect was strongest — three times higher — when the drugs were taken in the first trimester of pregnancy.
“Our results suggest a possible, albeit small, risk to the unborn child associated with in utero exposure to SSRIs,” Croen said in a statement.
But she said this risk must be balanced with the risk to the mother of having untreated depression.
The team cautioned that the SSRI study was preliminary and said much more work was needed to understand the link between antidepressants and autism.
“There are real risks to not being treated for a serious illness like depression. You have to weigh the options,” said Dr. Thomas Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health.
“A threefold increase in risk is not insignificant. It is worth taking that into account with other factors,” Insel said in a telephone interview.
Insel, whose agency funded the twins study, said it is not yet clear what environmental factors may be triggering autism.
“It could be a range of things from infection to chemical exposures. We simply don’t know.”
What is becoming clear, he said, is that the exposure is likely occurring before childbirth.
“From all the studies that so far have concluded, that is where the evidence seems to be going,” he said.
(Editing by Doina Chiacu)
While understanding through some of my research pointing in the direction of environmental factors, I decided to do what I could about my home environmentally speaking. I chose detergents and cleaners that were naturally based, and I noticed an improvement in Dayton's allergies, namely his nose bleeds and his chronic eczema. My medical back ground told me to put Dayton on a good set of vitamins, but they all made him go super hyper and he showed an interest in extreme sports - literally pulling off some dangerous stunts, so I stopped giving him vitamins until I tried a naturally based one, with no dyes or sugars... and saw an improvement in his behavior! He actually started talking! This was a huge deal as Dayton only had five words at age five: momma, dadda, oopsy, no and oh-oh. If he was hungry, he would just grunt and point at food. If he wanted outside, he just went outside, prompting me to get a security system, not to keep strangers outside, but to alert me if Dayton opened a door in the middle of the night.
So yes, I have experienced some benefits from switching to naturally based products. If you need some help with this, let me know and I'll email you back. There's ways of getting cheap product that works better than the stuff you buy at the grocery store.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
In one, a team at Stanford University compared cases of autism in identical and fraternal twins and found that fraternal twins — who share only half of the same genes — have unusually high rates of autism, suggesting that factors other than genetics may be triggering the disease.
In another, researchers at health insurer Kaiser Permanente found mothers of children with autism were twice as likely to have been prescribed a common antidepressant during the year before their pregnancy than mothers of healthy children.
And the risk was even greater — a threefold increase — when the drug was taken in the first trimester of pregnancy.
The findings, released in the Archives of General Psychiatry, suggest that something in the birth environment — drugs, chemicals or infections — may be triggering autism in children who are already genetically predisposed to develop the disease.
“It has been well-established that genetic factors contribute to risk for autism,” Clara Lajonchere, a study co-author and vice president of clinical programs for Autism Speaks, said in a statement.
“We now have strong evidence that, on top of genetic heritability, a shared prenatal environment may have a greater than previously realized role in the development of autism.”
Autism is a spectrum of disorders ranging from a profound inability to communicate and mental retardation to relatively mild symptoms such as with Asperger’s syndrome.
It affects one in every 150 children born today in the United States, or about 1% of the population.
SHARED ENVIRONMENT
The Stanford study involved 54 pairs of identical twins, who share 100% of the same genes, and 138 pairs of fraternal twins, who share half of the same genes.
In each pair, at least one of the twins had been diagnosed with autism.
The researchers found the chances of both children having autism spectrum disorder was higher among identical twins than among fraternal twins. But fraternal twins were much more likely to develop autism than studies of children in families where a sibling has autism.
According to the study, environmental factors common to twins explain about 55% of the cases of autism, and while genetic factors still play a role, it is much lower than seen in other studies of twins and autism.
“Environmental factors play a bigger role than previously thought,” said Dr. Joachim Hallmayer of Stanford University School of Medicine in California, who led the study.
Recent studies have suggested genetics played the biggest role in autism, but his findings suggest something different, he said in a telephone interview.
“We have to study both the genetics and the environment,” Hallmayer said. “If we look only at one side, I don’t think that will lead us to the right answer.”
COULD IT BE ANTIDEPRESSANTS?
In a separate study in the same journal, a team led by Lisa Croen, director of the Autism Research Program at the Kaiser Permanente Division of Research in Oakland, California, looked to see whether antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, contributed to autism risk.
The team studied nearly 300 children with autism and 1,500 randomly selected children and then checked their mothers’ medical records.
They found mothers of the children with autism were twice as likely to have taken an antidepressant in the year before delivery than children in the control group.
And the effect was strongest — three times higher — when the drugs were taken in the first trimester of pregnancy.
“Our results suggest a possible, albeit small, risk to the unborn child associated with in utero exposure to SSRIs,” Croen said in a statement.
But she said this risk must be balanced with the risk to the mother of having untreated depression.
The team cautioned that the SSRI study was preliminary and said much more work was needed to understand the link between antidepressants and autism.
“There are real risks to not being treated for a serious illness like depression. You have to weigh the options,” said Dr. Thomas Insel, director of the National Institute of Mental Health.
“A threefold increase in risk is not insignificant. It is worth taking that into account with other factors,” Insel said in a telephone interview.
Insel, whose agency funded the twins study, said it is not yet clear what environmental factors may be triggering autism.
“It could be a range of things from infection to chemical exposures. We simply don’t know.”
What is becoming clear, he said, is that the exposure is likely occurring before childbirth.
“From all the studies that so far have concluded, that is where the evidence seems to be going,” he said.
(Editing by Doina Chiacu)
While understanding through some of my research pointing in the direction of environmental factors, I decided to do what I could about my home environmentally speaking. I chose detergents and cleaners that were naturally based, and I noticed an improvement in Dayton's allergies, namely his nose bleeds and his chronic eczema. My medical back ground told me to put Dayton on a good set of vitamins, but they all made him go super hyper and he showed an interest in extreme sports - literally pulling off some dangerous stunts, so I stopped giving him vitamins until I tried a naturally based one, with no dyes or sugars... and saw an improvement in his behavior! He actually started talking! This was a huge deal as Dayton only had five words at age five: momma, dadda, oopsy, no and oh-oh. If he was hungry, he would just grunt and point at food. If he wanted outside, he just went outside, prompting me to get a security system, not to keep strangers outside, but to alert me if Dayton opened a door in the middle of the night.
So yes, I have experienced some benefits from switching to naturally based products. If you need some help with this, let me know and I'll email you back. There's ways of getting cheap product that works better than the stuff you buy at the grocery store.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
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