Sunday, 15 May 2011

Just Like Daddy

I only take credit for the first 9 months. After that, he was exposed to his father.

"Dayton...  Put the hammer down."
"Sweetie Pie, Honey Bunch, there's no way I'm letting you shave yet."
"Muffin...  telling your teachers you have to 'drag your lizard' (Glen's way of saying he needs to use the washroom facilities) is not appropriate."
"Babe, I know daddy torments the cat with my yarn, but you're going to strangle the poor kitty."
"Honey, no, you may not play Call of Duty Black Ops.  I know daddy plays it, but you should not."
"Angel face, yelling, screaming and sticking your middle finger at motorists like daddy is not polite.  Yes, I know they cut mommy off, but still..."

Ah yes, my babe loves his daddy.  He wants to be just like him in every way.  I suppose it could be worse, he could want to wear make up, and it did scare me just a little when he demanded a pedicure with nail polish the last time I went to get my nails done.  I compromised with him and allowed him to soak his feet while in the massage chair, and allowed the beautician to cut his toe nails, but that's where I drew the line!  All the ladies giggled and cooed and thought he was soooo cute...  And there I was biting off my newly polished gel nails.  Money well spent.  Of course, he just had to have a handful of candies on our way out.  Needless to say, the sugar rush took over half way home.

When his sister Charlie-Anne came to visit us for a weekend and wanted a girl's day out at the spa, Dayton wanted to come with us.  He wanted a pedicure AGAIN.  Glen naturally glared at me, as "men don't get pedicures, blah, blah, blah..."  So, once in a while, my babe wants to get a pedicure...  no big deal, right?

For the most part, my babe wants to be just like daddy.  Dayton chose rubber boots that were the same color as daddy's hunting boots, the same camouflage style winter jacket that daddy has when he goes hunting, camouflage flip flops to make daddy jealous, camouflage base ball cap because daddy has one identical to it, etc...  In other words, he wants to be just as red necked as daddy.  Awesome :(

We have a magnetic chore responsibility board nailed to the wall in Dayton's room.  Every time he does a chore, he gets a smiley face magnet.  Each magnet is worth a dollar.  His chores right now are:
1.)  Put your toys away in your toy box
2.)  Put your dirty laundry in the laundry hamper
3.)  Say Please and Thank You (I only allow him one magnet a day for this, as otherwise Dayton would run around all day, just saying "please and thank you, please and thank you, please and thank you..."  He tried that this morning:  "I'd like to go pee, please and thank you.  Mom, give me my magnet."  Like I'm falling for that...
4.)  Feed Jack (his cat)
5.)  Help with indoor chores (I have him vacuum and take out the garbage)
6.)  Put your plate in the sink
7.)  Do your homework (I've finally convinced the school to send some books home.  When they forget (we've just started this last month, so sometimes they forget), I pull out the Pokemon books to read or we pull out the Canadian Grade 1 Curriculum Book (you can get these at scholar's choice, or at Costco's for half the price for every grade; and yes, Dayton is in grade 3, but he's about half way through grade one or so I'm told by his principal)

Dayton gets to cash in his magnets for things he wants:  Pokemon cards, video game time, video games, gum, etc.

So this one day, we're at Blockbusters checking out the videos, and after picking our selection, we go through the maze line.  Of course the maze was made of wire bins full of merchandise.  One of them had a set of ear buds on sale, the kind that wrap around your ear.  Super cool looking things.  I figure they're on sale for $9.00, and I imagine buying them at Best Buy would cost much more, so I thought sure, why not.  I remind Dayton he must earn them (of course I hear a chorus of  "awwwww, do I have to???") by doing his chores, and that he needs to get ten magnets in order to have them (yes, I'm aware I just made an extra magnet, but I'm the mom!  LOL).

In a few days, Mr. Dayton presented me with ten smiley faced magnets.  "I want my ear buds please and thank you, and a new magnet please for saying please and thank you."  The ear buds lasted for all of ten minutes...  I didn't see the scissors.  He comes out of his room wearing one of the ear buds, and the rest had been cut off.  "What?!  What made you do cut your ear buds Dayton?!"
"Oh mom, it's not an ear bud, see how it wraps around my ear just like daddy's?  It's a blue tooth, just like dad's.  I gotta go to work."  He walks away babbling into his "blue tooth."  All of a sudden I hear him say into his "blue tooth":  "and how is my short peckered friend today?"
"You can't talk like that, not in this house!"
"But daddy does it."
"Not anymore he won't!  Don't ever say those words again!"

We had to empty the tent trailer this weekend, and get ready for camping.  We had some of the stuff out on the patio, and Dayton of course just had to go through one of the buckets, pulling out this red long thing called a "ratchet strap," which is used to hold things down...
"Dayton!  What is that?"
"I don't know, but it's dad's and it's cool."
"You are not supposed to be touching dad's things, put it back, right now!"
"But moooooooooommmm!!!  I'm just like daddy!  You tell me all the time that I'm 'just like your father.'"

Oh good Lord.  Be careful what you tell your children.  It just might bite your right in the you know what.

Consider yourselves hugged,


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