Home Sweet Home

We're home!  Back on track with routine!  I don't know which one of us needs the routine more, Dayton or I.  While Big D's not crazy about going back to school, I most certainly am...  Mamma loves ya baby!!!  Seeing the school bus this morning coming to get Dayton nearly brought a tear to my eye...

Visiting family back in BC was good, but I missed my home.  While my condo may not be as lavish as my dad's brand new, enormous, fancy home, and needs some serious updates, there's nothing like home sweet home, and our routine.

Funny...  routine, routine, routine.  I hate not being able to stray away from it for Dayton's sake, but I craved it the whole time away from home.  I missed our autism "pic schedules" posted in my washroom for Dayton to focus on morning and bed time routines.  I missed handing Dayton a magnet for his magnet board for doing a job well done.  I missed our bed time routine:  bath, book, bed, TV, a quick cuddle (I don't get them often, and it needs to be in the routine for my sake, not Dayton's), kiss and a hug and finally, lights out.  It's nice knowing that no matter how tough my day is, come 8:30 it's big mamma's time.

While we may have strayed from the routine a wee bit while in BC, and we went there for a sad time in our life, it wasn't all bad...  Dayton got to meet one of his 'Aussie' uncles for the first time as did I, his name is Iain.  Dayton and I both got a chance to meet the other 'Aussie' uncle James last Christmas vacation.  They're both awesome guys!!!  I love their accents, and so does Dayton (quick little story to follow in a few lines).  The highlight of my visit, however charming the 'Aussie' uncles may be, was meeting my little niece Alessandra for the first time in person.  Oh my God, she's just so cute, I wanted to hide her in my purse (trust me, the purse is big enough) and take her home with me.  Having to leave her behind was heart breaking.  Not having the chance to say goodbye to her was even worse.  There's nothing quite like the smell and feel of a new baby, and nothing as awesome to put a smile on your face as a cutie like Alessandra.

Dayton with his auntie Carrie and the beautiful Alessandra

Alessandra and I

Dayton had a fantastic time with his 'Aussie' uncles.  Uncle Iain made sure to beat him with these swimming noodles (now before y'all go callin' CFS, I'd like to add that Dayton won the battle, so relax), and uncle James played golf with Dayton in the back yard.  Both Aussie uncles were awesome with Dayton, and Dayton loves them both to death.  He got to go trick or treating with them for Halloween, as it was their first Halloween!  They don't have Halloween in Australia!  I'm so moving there!!!  While Dayton didn't really care to share his uncles with his cousins, he did it with no complaints.  Their Aussie accents are fun to Dayton...  so much so he got right into a conversation as though he was Aussie himself, following just about everything with a "mate" for friend.

Uncle Iain and Dayton

Uncle James, Alessandra and Dayton

DISCLAIMER: The comments and actions of my child do not necessarily reflect those of my own.

Picture us at supper time.  Uncle Iain and auntie Carrie (Alessandra's parents) made a fantastic pasta supper (I love pasta, and it really does show) and the boys are sitting in the living room.  Glen of course is making fun of someone at all times and has turned his unsolicited comments on uncle James...  I tell Glen to stop because I "like James.  Stop picking on him!"  Glen's uncle Dave:  "I like James too, he's a likable kind of fella."
Dayton:  "Yeah, you would mate, bahahahahahahahaha!"
Fortunately, we all laughed. 

Dayton, talking to my dad:  "You know mate, I wasn't gonna tell you this, but I'm gonna have to say it; you're mean grandpa.  You need to stop being mean mate, or I'm gonna walk out the door and not come back.  I'm gonna take my mamma with me, we don't have to stay here and listen to you be mean mate."  I love it when my babe has my back!!!  Grandpa swore a little too much even for Dayton.  You know things are pretty bad when that's the case.  Most kids find it funny or cool.

Dayton, talking to my dad again:  "Mate, I already told you!  I have to go back to Winnipeg.  I have a cat.  His name is Jack, and I miss him.  He needs fresh food and fresh water, and someone needs to take care of him.  It's not all about you, you know?!  Now mate, you gotta stop asking me to stay with you.  Besides, I gotta go with mamma 'cuz she promised to wrap herself around me if the plane crashes so I don't die.  Now you try to have a 'good eye' (good day in Aussie)."

Dayton, talking to Glen:  "Hey mate, I have a plan!!  Are you scared yet?"

I think the highlight of Dayton time on the West Coast was the fishing.  The boys went out fishing twice, and Dayton was the one that caught the biggest fish.  Their second trip out, they did something I've never heard of...  and I'm not sure if it was the Aussie uncles' idea or Glen's, maybe even Dayton's...  they blew air into the worms, wait for it....  I pray you're sitting down...  using a hypodermic needle.  That's right.  They took a worm in one hand, a hypodermic needle with air in the syringe in the other, and  No one is willing to take the credit for the idea...  I'm thinking it was the Aussies...

Hugging uncle Iain good bye at the airport on our way home brought Dayton to tears that took a couple of hours to change to a smile.  Yes, I bribed him with ice cream, because that's what mothers do.


Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

Structure, Structure, And Structure Some More

As I've said on my previous post, I have decided to keep Dayton home for the rest of the school year (don't be saying "oh my God!"  We're pretty much at the end of the school year, it's really not that big of a deal.) I've decided to keep Dayton home because of the lack of structure at the end of the school year all schools go through, not just the school Dayton attends.

The last two weeks of school are usually the toughest for kids on the autism spectrum.  Well meaning teachers, principals and school divisions look at the last week or two of the school year as a time for celebrating the end of the year by treating the kids to a break so to speak.  Lots of free play time, movie time, entertainment, etc...  Everyone in the building, adults and children alike, are excited about the coming of summer break, and focus is not high on the priority list.  Unfortunately, for children on the autism spectrum, or kids with ADHD, ADD, ODD, OCD, etc.., this time of excitement is even more crucial for them to have their aid persistently present, their day structured ever more diligently, and their teachers on the ball at all times as they can sense everyone's excitement.  Like other children, they too want to celebrate, the problem is that when their routine get broken, they may not know what to do with themselves.  Dayton does not read social cues well, and his speech is delayed.  Communicating his 'feelings' is a struggle for him.  When he can't communicate what it is that he wants, doesn't recognize social cues or facial expressions, it's as though his primal brain takes over and he can not control his impulses.  Having structure in Dayton's day is crucial. 

Ever hear of the saying:  "Too much good can be a bad thing?"  Very much true in Dayton's case.  While he enjoys free play as much as any other kid, the free play itself needs to be structured and designed in a way he can handle.  I can't just take this little guy out to the park and set him loose.  That would be sheer heaven!  When he plays outside, I must schedule things with him and have his input.

"So we're going to go to the swings first, right momma?"
"Yes babe, always the swings first.  What would you like to do next?"
"Down the slide."
"OK, we'll use the slide after the swings, sounds good buddy.  And then what would you like to do?"
"Feed the birds."
"OK, so we're gonna hit the swings, hit the slide, then go see the birds.  What's after that?"
"Mamma, we don't hit the swings, we swing on them, and we don't hit the slide, we slide down them.  And I don't want to see the birds, I want to FEED the birds!!!"
Damn it!  I used an euphemism.  Well done mom.  "I'm sorry Dayton, you're right."  I just don't have the heart to try to teach him another euphemism today as he gets so frustrated when trying to make it make sense for himself.  A lesson for another day.

Free play at our home's playground with his buddies needs to be supervised and structured.  I love the bayblades!  There are rules to follow, spinning objects, and a way to behave during the game (Pull the cord, wait and watch.  No hands allowed to stop the spinning tops, and most kids with autism love spinning objects).

Another game with rules that Dayton loves is croquet.  This is a game that I can play with him and his friends, the more the merrier and his friends and foes love it when I break out the croquet (which Dayton is not able to pronounce correctly...  He calls it cocaine.  I just pray he doesn't go to school and tell them all he played cocaine with his mamma).  Croquet is so much fun!  Huge hammers with big balls and a track to conquer.  We also enjoy a good game of bean bag toss (haven't got a clue what it's really called, it's the game with two wooden planks with three holes in it, each team throws the bean bags into the holes to score and win the game).  Bocci Ball is another favorite of mine, not so much of Dayton's, but he will play it.  Again, rules to follow this game too.  Pick a color of ball you want to represent you, then try to throw your balls to the little white ball.  Closest to the white ball or the one who hits the white ball wins!

Not only are these games fun, but Dayton is now forced to interact with other children, giving him more opportunity to practice his social skills.  He must wait his turn, and when playing the bean bag toss, Dayton has to play as part of a 'team.'  Huge benefits for both of us!  Games with structure and rules provide Dayton with the opportunity to have a little fun and knowing the rules and expectations of the game keeps him nice and calm.  Until, that is, someone breaks the rules...  Which is why big mamma is always present, at arm's (or croquet hammer, I'm no dummy) length or less away. 


Consider yourselves hugged!!!

Lou