My Specialty Is Sarcasm, But I Can Be Just Plain Mean

I think we all know just how passionate I am about autism awareness.  I don't share my life with the entire world to see for the fun of it.  I do it to show people that people with autism are not stupid, dumb, defiant or violent without cause...  People with autism think differently and view life in a different way than us boring, neurotypical, fake, selfish and egotistical folk who will do whatever it takes to be accepted among our peers to the point of changing who we truly are and lying to others to be envied and looked up to.  Us 'normal' people just don't know when to quit when competing with the Joneses, do we?

I think my biggest pet peeve with people is that they like to offer unsolicited parenting advice to parents who are raising children on the autism spectrum.   And to those people I would just like to say "Maybe you should concentrate on cleaning up the mess you made raising your own kids before you start playing Supernanny to ours."

A fellow Winnipeg autism mother went shopping at The Real Canadian Super Store with her son who has autism.  This child's autism is much more intense then my kids, and when you watch him, it is clear that he is a child with a disability.  While shopping, the poor boy had a wee bit of an episode as he suffers from extreme anxiety and was most likely over stimulated... and a manager came to my friend and asked "Is there a problem here?" and kind of put my friend in an awkward position...  There's more to the story, but the part that is upsetting the most is that when she went on The Real Canadian Superstore facebook page to let the store know what happened and her offense at how the situation was handled by the store manager, a supposed 'normal' employee or past employee (if his facebook account is accurate), had two comments to say, and I literally copied and pasted these comments:

1)

Steven Brazeau commented on Real Canadian Superstore's Wall post. Steven wrote: "Autism isn't a real disease, what is it about today's parents that lead them to label their kids with a disease if they aren't the coolest kid in school. Just because your kid isn't popular socially doesn't give you the excuse to label them with autism."

2)

Steven Brazeau commented on Real Canadian Superstore's Wall post. Steven wrote: "Do you think you're special or something? Just because. Your kid has autism you think you're entitled to ruin my experience shopping by letting him have a temper tantrum? Take that outside and let him throw a hissy fit. I should complain to superstore about letting kids having open temper tantrums ruining everyones experience."

Wow!
I'm speechless...  And that doesn't happen very often.
My roommate had to take my laptop away for a while.  She did her best to edit my original post on this, and then called in reinforcements.

First of all, if this Steven Brazeau is or has been employed by the Real Canadian Superstore, I think they have a major HR problem.

Second...  people!!!  Understand that just because you delete your comment on facebook, doesn't mean it wasn't seen on facebook by others, and furthermore...  SOME OF US HAVE COMMENTS FORWARDED TO OUR EMAILS!!!  Even if you delete your comment, guess what?  It's too late!  The comment has already been emailed to the poster's email address!

Autism is not a disease.  It's not something you catch from someone.

Children and adults diagnosed with autism are not diagnosed by their parents, there are actual psychiatrists that have a university degree that give them the 'right' to do that.

An excuse to call my children autistic?  Seriously?  I'd much rather call my children the next Einstein!  Autism is not a country club us parents want to belong to!

As a mother of a child with autism, I can honestly tell you my children's popularity in school is the least of my concerns.  Our kids couldn't care less if they're considered cool or not, that is kind of the beauty of autism.  They couldn't care less about Mr. and Mrs. Jones and what they have.  

And for the record, autism is not a disgrace, ignorance is.  I am proud of all my kids.  It is society that calls my children autistic, God calls them PERFECT.  So for those that have a problem with people on the autism spectrum going shopping for their groceries, a necessity for survival, well...  take it outside and have your own little hissy fit.  Let the rest of us go in the grocery store, do our necessary shopping and get out.


As always, consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

By The Grace Of God, I Survived!!! I'm Alive!!!

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive...  The pain screaming on the left side of my body and the ringing in my left ear, the pins and needles on the left side of my face and the occasional drool out of the corner of the left side of my mouth tell me that I'm alive.

I survived a potentially deadly car crash this past Tuesday morning.  Everything happened in slow motion, I saw it coming, felt the impact and there was nothing I could do other than pray to God to take care of my son.  I thought to myself:  "This is it."  I honestly didn't think I would survive.  

But God has different plans for me.  Either that or He's just not ready for me to sit at His table in His house.  I'll admit, I'm a handful...  Or my prayer was heard and He thought I was the best person to take care of Dayton.  Whatever His reason is, I am a grateful servant.  

Glen seeing the car damage for the first time

Back driver's side door...  where Dayton would have sat...

The passenger side door...  I must have blacked out here, because I don't remember how this happened; not that takes TALENT!

Oh, and I made the news...  http://winnipeg.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20120410/wpg_broadway_sherbrook_crash_120410/20120410/?hub=WinnipegHome

As faithful as I am to bringing awareness to autism (by the way, did you know the whole month of April is AUTISM AWARENESS month?  That's why you'll be seeing more autism related poems this month on Autism Diva Help.), my mind was NOT on autism...  

A parent with a child on the autism spectrum pretty much lives, breathes, eats, digests, drinks and sleeps autism.  We read books on the subject, go to coffee with other parents of children on the autism spectrum for support, check out facebook autism pages, research autism on the internet, look for autism news, head to doctor and specialist appointments, school meetings and behavioural or psychologist appointments, wait in pharmacies for our kid's prescriptions, etc...  We learn a whole new vocabulary relating to autism behaviour, therapy and diets, etc...  We really are in a different world from the average parent.  

This last Tuesday morning, just before 9:30am, the very last thing on my mind was autism. I know, right?  Hard to believe the Diva strayed from her obsession!  

My mind was on Dayton.  Not Dayton with autism, not Dayton with OCD, not Dayton with ADHD, not Dayton's global delays and his IEP or ODD, his wait watch and wonder therapy, his child psychologist appointment this coming week, or his latest report card showing black on white just how far behind he is from the rest of his grade 4 class...  My mind was simply on Dayton, my beloved son.  Dayton, the air I breathe, the beautiful sunshine in my life, Dayton who saved my life a few times already in his short life.  Dayton, the reason I get up every morning, Dayton, the reason I'm alive.  His smile, his eyes, his sense of humour, his dimpled cheek...  I love him so much!!!

Autism or no autism, I cherish my son.  I can not imagine my life without him.  

The car accident literally knocked me out.  When I came to, all I thought was Dayton.  And panic ceased my body and mind, and I screamed out his name, thinking he should have been sitting in the car with me.  I screamed at the paramedics to find my son, shoved at the fire men trying to rescue me from my car (they had to cut my driver's side door open to get me out), until someone asked me if Dayton could possibly be in school???  

Yes, yes, I remember him taking the school bus and waving an embarrassed good bye to me...  You know the one where he's trying to please me, but not wanting his friends to see him love his mom, because that's just NOT cool.  

OK, fine.  The Diva lost her mind temporarily, that's not the first time and it certainly won't be the last.  Knowing my babe was safe, I allowed the firemen to ease my body out of the vehicle, put the stupid neck brace on after lying my body on their uncomfortable board to ensure my spine was aligned and then off to the hospital.  

I kept asking the fireman who calmed me down at the accident to call Glen or call Dayton's school to make sure Dayton was there and safe, and to get Glen to call someone to pick Dayton up from school in case I wasn't home on time.  Finally, my rescuer called Glen, and I could relax...  Dayton would be taken care of and I could just relax my body.  What a huge mistake that was...  That's when the pain really hit me...  But it was all right, as long as I got to see my babe again, I would take all the pain in the world.  

I haven't stopped cuddling with my son.  I don't care how much he doesn't like to be touched or hugged, I'm not letting go.  I'm loving my son, and no one can stop me, not even Autism.  

Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

Autism Winnipeg

Looking through facebook one day, I came upon a group called "Autism Winnipeg."  Given that there really isn't that much support out there for those with autism in their lives, I immediately joined the group.  I'm so glad I did!!!  If you're on facebook and live in Winnipeg, you definitely have to check this group out. 

Marni Wachs Zuke, the creator of the Autism Winnipeg Facebook Group is an amazing woman.  I've had the pleasure of meeting her in person a handful of times.  Sitting at Tim Horton's this Saturday, I really wanted to talk to her about the Autism Winnipeg Group she had created, and wanting to know more about her, but Marni wanted to know more about my ordeals with Dayton at his school.  We sat for almost two hours talking about my issues...  She's a saint!  She also came armed with two books (more like textbooks) for me to review. 

This book, Marni explained, works more along ABA therapy.



Marni says that this book is along the lines of RDI therapy.













I got a lot of reading ahead of me... 
Just a quick disclaimer...  Neither Marni or I are doctors, therapists, psychologists or acrobats.  Just saying...  The books are interesting to me, and she thought they may be of help to me and Dayton, so I'm just passing the information to the rest of you who want to learn more.

Back to Marni...
She started the Autism Winnipeg group to connect with other families in Winnipeg.  The only place for parents to go in Winnipeg are the Autism Society of Manitoba and a few other places...  On line, Marni explains, you can talk to someone or vent at any hour of the day or night, you can sit in your PJ's, drink a glass of wine or coffee and feel heard.  She takes the Autism Winnipeg group very seriously and views the group page in the same way she views her job.  She's super dedicated in letting autism families know what's happening in Winnipeg for them, and offer her unconditional support. 

I got to help Marni last summer start an autism soccer game last year.  Well, she did most of the work, I was her cheerleader...  This year I'm hoping she will help me start a play group for our kids on the spectrum with their siblings.  We both want a place where our kids are accepted for who they are, I just need a good kick in the buttocks to make it happen. 

Marni discusses many things on Autism Winnipeg, and she may or may not agree with all of the links she posts, but feels that she's obligated to share everything she comes across that may be helpful to an autism family.  She knows what it's like for someone to disagree with certain therapies, as she herself has chosen the ABA therapy approach for her 7 year old son.  A woman actually turned to her and said:  "I would never do that to my kid."  Because of this experience, she asks that everyone who joins Autism Winnipeg to please show respect to everyone in the group, and not be judgemental of each other.  Autism Winnipeg was created by Marni to support one another, not to tear each other down.  A difference of opinion is healthy, being critical and negative of each other is not.  Again, it boils down to acceptance.

Marni's description of Autism Winnipeg:

Do you have autism somehow in your life, and you live in Winnipeg or Manitoba? Then this is the right place for you! I searched for this group and it didn't exist; so I created it. Join the group and respectfully discuss and post all things related to autism. From personal to political - let's connect!!! This group embraces multiple perspectives. Join in the discussions as much or as little you like. I hope we can develop a dynamic peer networking hub of information, as well as a place to chat. Please feel free to respectfully discuss Winnipeg-specific services related to autism, but please no names or identifying information. Thanks so much! Although the group is for anyone and not just for parents of children with autism, here's a special shout out to them! We autism parents are passionate about discussing the challenges, helping our kids, and are MOTIVATED to go above and beyond for our beautiful kids! Let's have a conversation. 

 

Want more information?  Want to join?  Here's the link, and welcome to Autism Winnipeg!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=7368223930&v=info

http://www.facebook.com/#!/group.php?gid=7368223930&v=wall

Marni's words of wisdom in order to prepare me for my meeting with Dayton's school tomorrow:  "I'm neutral, I'm Teflon," then deflect back on the school staff...  I love it.  I'm Teflon baby!

 

 

 

Consider yourselves hugged!!!

Lou