My Specialty Is Sarcasm, But I Can Be Just Plain Mean

I think we all know just how passionate I am about autism awareness.  I don't share my life with the entire world to see for the fun of it.  I do it to show people that people with autism are not stupid, dumb, defiant or violent without cause...  People with autism think differently and view life in a different way than us boring, neurotypical, fake, selfish and egotistical folk who will do whatever it takes to be accepted among our peers to the point of changing who we truly are and lying to others to be envied and looked up to.  Us 'normal' people just don't know when to quit when competing with the Joneses, do we?

I think my biggest pet peeve with people is that they like to offer unsolicited parenting advice to parents who are raising children on the autism spectrum.   And to those people I would just like to say "Maybe you should concentrate on cleaning up the mess you made raising your own kids before you start playing Supernanny to ours."

A fellow Winnipeg autism mother went shopping at The Real Canadian Super Store with her son who has autism.  This child's autism is much more intense then my kids, and when you watch him, it is clear that he is a child with a disability.  While shopping, the poor boy had a wee bit of an episode as he suffers from extreme anxiety and was most likely over stimulated... and a manager came to my friend and asked "Is there a problem here?" and kind of put my friend in an awkward position...  There's more to the story, but the part that is upsetting the most is that when she went on The Real Canadian Superstore facebook page to let the store know what happened and her offense at how the situation was handled by the store manager, a supposed 'normal' employee or past employee (if his facebook account is accurate), had two comments to say, and I literally copied and pasted these comments:

1)

Steven Brazeau commented on Real Canadian Superstore's Wall post. Steven wrote: "Autism isn't a real disease, what is it about today's parents that lead them to label their kids with a disease if they aren't the coolest kid in school. Just because your kid isn't popular socially doesn't give you the excuse to label them with autism."

2)

Steven Brazeau commented on Real Canadian Superstore's Wall post. Steven wrote: "Do you think you're special or something? Just because. Your kid has autism you think you're entitled to ruin my experience shopping by letting him have a temper tantrum? Take that outside and let him throw a hissy fit. I should complain to superstore about letting kids having open temper tantrums ruining everyones experience."

Wow!
I'm speechless...  And that doesn't happen very often.
My roommate had to take my laptop away for a while.  She did her best to edit my original post on this, and then called in reinforcements.

First of all, if this Steven Brazeau is or has been employed by the Real Canadian Superstore, I think they have a major HR problem.

Second...  people!!!  Understand that just because you delete your comment on facebook, doesn't mean it wasn't seen on facebook by others, and furthermore...  SOME OF US HAVE COMMENTS FORWARDED TO OUR EMAILS!!!  Even if you delete your comment, guess what?  It's too late!  The comment has already been emailed to the poster's email address!

Autism is not a disease.  It's not something you catch from someone.

Children and adults diagnosed with autism are not diagnosed by their parents, there are actual psychiatrists that have a university degree that give them the 'right' to do that.

An excuse to call my children autistic?  Seriously?  I'd much rather call my children the next Einstein!  Autism is not a country club us parents want to belong to!

As a mother of a child with autism, I can honestly tell you my children's popularity in school is the least of my concerns.  Our kids couldn't care less if they're considered cool or not, that is kind of the beauty of autism.  They couldn't care less about Mr. and Mrs. Jones and what they have.  

And for the record, autism is not a disgrace, ignorance is.  I am proud of all my kids.  It is society that calls my children autistic, God calls them PERFECT.  So for those that have a problem with people on the autism spectrum going shopping for their groceries, a necessity for survival, well...  take it outside and have your own little hissy fit.  Let the rest of us go in the grocery store, do our necessary shopping and get out.


As always, consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

Bullied Much?

Well, it's happened...  Dayton got bullied.  A switch from what he's accustomed to, as typically he's a wee bit of a bully whether or not he knows it for himself.  You know, do it my way or you're gonna get it kind of kid...

Anyways, as a mamma, it's pretty tough to swallow that your little guy's not accepted by other kids.  As a teacher, it became pretty clear that I was to use this as a teaching moment after a good cuddle, and a few "OMG, the nerve of that kid..."  Explaining to Dayton that yes, I understood his anger, and yes, he should definitely be upset, I then asked him how he thought the kids he used to "bully" felt.  At first he said "that's different mamma!"  Then reminded me how he never told other kids not to play with someone, like his bully did.  He never called anyone stupid, idiot or the R word like his bully does.  I explained to him that hitting others just because they didn't do what he thinks they should is a form of bullying too, just more physical.  He didn't say much, but I saw a little light bulb go off in his eyes.  Me thinks ma'babe gets it...  Time will tell.

The silver lining in this story is that when I called the principal, he assured me he would speak to the boys today, not something I would have heard last year.  Also, the teacher who's class the bullying took place in called me an hour after I spoke to the principal, assuring me that she's spoken to the principal and will also speak to Dayton about the situation he dealt with and how to better deal with it if it happens again.

It's good to know that the school is listening to my concerns.  I'm very glad that things have changed this year, as I'm not sure I could have survived another year of the way things used to be without going postal on someone.


Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

Grocery Shopping With Your Child On the Autism Spectrum

O.K, I'll admit it.  I have not mastered this skill "gracefully."  I prefer to go shopping for anything without Dayton coming with me.  This is much, much easier to do now that I'm on medical leave and he's still in school.  But when I do have to take Dayton with me, I need to plan and prepare.  A simple trip to the grocery store requires the preparation of a military invasion.  Hiding in every isle is the potential for a super duper melt down.  These kids have sensory issues, right?  Sensory meaning sight, sound, taste, motion...

I love to shop at Costco's.  I get everything I need there, in bulk, making grocery shopping less frequent.  Also, Dayton is a tall nine year old boy, and Costco's is the only store with them huge shopping carts my boy can still fit into while I shop.  Efficiency is everything in my world with autism.  For Dayton though, the lights are too bright and they emit a buzz that only one with autism and perhaps dogs can hear.  When Dayton can't handle the crowd, or the lights, or the "buzz," he curls into a foetal position in the shopping cart, and covers his head and the rest of his body with his jacket to muffle the sounds of people speaking and protect his eyes from the light.  If I take Dayton shopping with me, I can not take his father with us, he gets "embarrassed" when Dayton does this because people keep staring, and he of course wants to "punch them out."  Much, much easier to go alone with Dayton then, less chance of losing my Costco's membership and having to bail Dayton's father out of jail.

Not only do I have to worry about the Nutella being moved to a new location when Dayton knows exactly what isle it's in, the shelf and location, and when he sees it's not there, he enters what I call the "point of no return."  Melt down city baby...  I also have to protect my baby from stupid people.  Yes, I said it.  Some people are just too stupid to mind their own bee's wax and not meddle in my affairs.  This is where an autism mom's military precision of executing a grocery shop kicks into over drive.

For those of you with kids not on the autism spectrum, think back to the days when your own child was a toddler.  Ahhh yes...  fun times!  Remember when they'd throw a fit, and you got the "look" from women glancing sideways at you with their nostrils flaring and blowing out fire?  Yeah, I get that A LOT.  I call those women the grocery store snipers.  I whip out my grenade launcher, just in case.  While Dayton may not be able to read their facial expression, I CAN, AND LADY, I SEE YOU!  Take cover, cause I'm gonna blow!

Them snipers get their panties in a tighter knot when Dayton is walking beside the shopping cart in Safeway (since I can't put him in their shopping cart, there's just not enough room for groceries then).  When Dayton didn't hear the sniper say excuse me to him (for him to get out of her way) and neither had I, she actually pushed Dayton out of her way with her shopping cart as he stood there stimming (self stimulating to cope)!  I fired my grenade launcher that day, and pushed her out of my way with my shopping cart without asking her to "excuse me."  She whipped her head around and asked me what my problem was.  So I told her.  "Well I asked him to excuse me and he ignored me!  You should really talk to your child about respect and maybe discipline him and give him a swat on the butt."  I fired my grenade  launcher at her "You clueless twit, my son has autism, what's your excuse?!"  And so I left her standing there with her jaw on the floor.  I picked up Dayton who now is getting vocal and parroting the word "twit" over and over, knowing somehow I was protecting him, but not understanding what I was protecting him from.  His sense of safety broken, I pick him up, put him in the grocery cart and wheeled us out of the store.

God gave us mothers two hands, I need both of mine to maneuver my way around the grocery store and ensure Dayton is where he should be.

Am I proud of my behavior?  Do two wrongs make a right?  No...  But sometimes, I just can't help myself.  Sometimes I'm just tired and don't have the patience for ignorance.  Sometimes I just want to pull my baby and me in a little cocoon and be left alone.  Sometimes...   I turn into GI Jane (without the muscle...  see, I don't like to make others jealous, so I've covered the muscle with a layer or two of adipose tissue).

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks." - Calvin & Hobbes


Consider yourselves hugged, and keep the bazooka loaded!  I prefer the grenade launcher, more efficient in it's wake of damage...  but to each their own,

Lou