Monday, 25 March 2013

Pary Deux Of Our Our Very First Annual World Autism Awareness Walk

There's a week left before the walk, and I'm starting to panic.  Mike and Arlene are strong and steady, me...  I'm about to puke.  But I've always been a bit on the diva side, and being able to recognize that is the first step in recovery, right?

Mike has been able to confirm the attendance of Special Olympics.  Do you know what that means?  It means we need to do more posters!!!  If I sniff one more marker...  Thanks a lot Mike!

Anne, my dear Anne has found volunteers to help us color more posters, sparing my nervous system from the fumes of highness.  Thank you Anne!!!  Personally, I think she's just trying to save the rest of the posters from me.  I'm starting to color outside the lines...  It makes me feel dangerous.  The purple penguins and the yellow leprechauns are trying to steal my coco puffs!  I'm gonna team up with the rainbow unicorns and defeat them!  Who's with me?!

Arlene's gone as far as making a logo for PACE.  Mike's gone nuts and started making T-shirts for the walk.  I think he's trying to stroke me out from the pressure.  If you want a T-shirt, honorariums of a minimum of $20 would be appreciated to cover the cost of buying the shirts and the thingies to iron the logo thingies on them and the ink thing of a bob dooey.  Next year, we'll be a little more prepared and hopefully be able to buy the T-shirts on line for much less.  Hopefully...  If you would like one, call Mike at 204 632 5539 or 204 795 2625.  There's 20 shirts in medium, large, x-large and 2xl, so first come, first serve.


I've got a photographer!!!  Yey!!!  And not just any photographer, I've got the best photographer!!!  Tony Schellenberg of Anthony Mark Photography is going to document our very first World Autism Awareness Day Walk with his beautiful work of art.  Check out his work at www.anthonymarkphotography.net.  Tony is also a father of two beautiful children on the autism spectrum, so if you're looking for a photographer who 'gets it,' that has patience and knows what he's doing, you've really got to check him out.  Mike and I will be making an appointment with him soon to get some family portraits done.

We're collecting boxes to use the cardboard to glue our in excess of 200 posters to them for the walkers to carry or wear, we're still trying to decide how to do this.  Maybe we'll give y'all the option.  Any suggestions?  Email me please!!!  This way they will last for next year's walk.  We could use your help too!!!  We're getting together at the Y on the corner of McGregor and Mountain tomorrow (Tuesday, March 26th) at 6:00pm and will be there until 8pm.  We really could use your help in coloring the posters and gluing them to cardboard walkers will carry, so if you have some time to spare (I know...  time is something we all wish we had, but please...  Even 5 minutes of your time would be helpful), we would be super thrilled to have your company.  The address is 363 McGregor St.  Bring your kids, as we're still hosting to Kid's Gymboree while the parents help us.  For more information on the Y:  http://www.ymcaywca.mb.ca/northend.html


Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

Thursday, 21 March 2013

Our Very First Annual World Autism Awareness Walk

We're doing it!  Never done before in Manitoba, we're putting together the very first World Autism Awareness Walk!!!

My God...  the work...  it just doesn't seem to end.  I've dreamt of making this walk happen for years, and now, it's happening...  Mike and our friend Arlene have done most of the work, making me feel a wee bit guilty, but I'm doing this with people I love and for people I love.

Arlene has looked after the permits for the walk and getting the permissions needed to walk from the Forks to the Manitoba Legislature building downtown Winnipeg.  She's baking 300 autism puzzle piece cookies and hand coloring each one.  She's designed, drawn out and in the process of coloring the enormous banner that will be carried by two children at the head of the procession.  She's colored many, many posters...

Mike's the artist of the group, and very talented in everything he does.  I'm still trying to find something he's not good at.  He's drawn up a few different poster designs, had them photocopied and colored many, many, many posters.  He's got a band for our listening pleasure at the Legislature Building, he's working on getting a generator for the band, full of ideas on how we should light the Legislature Building blue (blue is the color for autism).  He's got glow blue glow sticks for the kids.  He's making plans on carrying speakers and chargers during the walk to play songs written with autism in mind for everyone within earshot of the walk to hear.  He's approached Special Olympics and they too are coming to join us in our cause...

And then there's me...  I've talked to the two major autism organizations here in Winnipeg in hopes of organizing a united autism community for the walk and rally at the Legislature Building.  Unfortunately, they both have many projects on the go, and won't be representing their organizations.  I'm scouting for guest speakers and found one that I'm grateful to have made friends with.  Anne is an amazing, intelligent and well spoken woman whom I admire and respect very much.  She's the mother I hope to be one day to my children.  She's been through the trenches of education, advocating and laid the ground work for those new to autism.  Anne is a pioneer in my eyes, and I am truly blessed to have her in my life.  She's helped me in my private life, sorting through all the 'junk' of my life and thrown me a life raft a few times.  She's digging into her connections and got us more help in coloring posters, and may have a special surprise coming to the Legislature Building.  A hint:  plays a sport and wears blue...  That's all I can say for now.

I also sniffed many a'felt pens and colored within the lines as much as I possibly could.  A few times I missed, and with Mike's encouragement and Arlene's blind faith in me, they allowed me to continue coloring the posters.  Arlene's also going to let me burn (I can't bake my way through a paper bag) some autism cookies.

Isn't it interesting how Winnipeg's city hall lights up blue on April 2nd, recognizing the World Autism Awareness Day, yet the Legislature Building says it would cost $1000 to light up blue, so they won't do it?  Hmmmm...  So, it's up to us parents of children with autism to light it up their lawn blue for them!

Autism awareness...  why bother?  Everyone knows about autism, right?

WRONG.

I can honestly say that autism in the beginning freaked the living crap out of me.  I felt totally overwhelmed with everything life had to dish out at me, and making any decision including what to make for supper that night felt like a crisis.  Learning to pull the tears back into my eyes was a really hard trick to learn, but thanks to the chaos of my life and my ex husband's lack of support and his infidelity, I had to master this trick quickly.  I felt a desperate need for a primal scream, a good bottle of wine, and a really, really good cry.  A medically induced coma sounded like the perfect escape and the next logical step.  All that kept running through my head was 'seriously, is this really my life?'  Stress, exhaustion, anger, resentment, worry, anxiety, and going at it all alone even though there are people all around you every day, wherever you go...  that's the worst part.

There comes a time when you just need a cookie.  And the Lord offered me a sweet, melt in your mouth cookie, on a day I needed it most.  On this day, I sat there still stunned with my life, and wondered how on earth I would survive it all.  Did I have what it takes to make it or would this break me?  Did I have the strength and stamina it would take to take care of my child as his father certainly wouldn't.  He was far too busy worrying about himself, his job and his Call of Duty video games to pay attention to either my emotional pain of his infidelity or Dayton's autism.  It was Dayton and I against the world.  I was angry at God.  Truly angry for being all alone in this.  I threw (yup, I did) my bible against the wall in defiance, and it fell open at the foot of my bed.  Picking it up feeling totally guilty (I was born female and Catholic, let's face it, I never stood a chance.  Guilt is my middle name), I read the following scripture:  Isaiah 41:10  "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous, right hand."   Hmmmm, cookie!  Thank you Lord!

I'm not the first, nor will I be the last parent who's felt the overwhelming urge to have a meltdown of their own when they're scared out of their mind because their child has just been diagnosed with autism.  But I do want new folks to autism to know that they are NOT alone.  We are here.  We're having the first annual World Autism Awareness Walk so that these newcomers to autism will see us, and know where to go for help.  They will know they are not alone.  They won't need to throw their bible at the wall.  More importantly, they will know that autism is not the end of the world.  It is not a death sentence, and can be very fulfilling.  Fulfilling?  Yes...  Every day is another day that I thank God for my beautiful children and how they make me who I am today.  My kids are what makes me smile.  Not a day goes by no matter how stressful and horrible where all I have to do is look at their faces and know just how lucky I am.

That's what this walk is about, and will be for years to come.  I am blessed.  My life is full, and I have like minded friends to help make a dream come true.

On April 2nd, I walk for Ashley, Katie, Amber, Dayton and my hips.  Who will you be walking for?



As my father taught me, consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

If you need more information on this walk, email me and I'll get back to you.


Sunday, 3 February 2013

Ten Commandments For Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum

Read this this morning on facebook, and had to share it with y'all:

Ten Commandments For Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum, by Stop Romanticizing Autism:



TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR INTERACTING WITH KIDS ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM

1. Thou shall not yell when speaking to me.
My Autism does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright. Perhaps even brighter than you are.

2. Thou shall not ignore me, talk negatively about me, speak unnaturally slow, or ask questions to others in the room that pertain to me.
I can comprehend what you are saying just fine.

3. Thou shall believe in me and help me believe in my skills and self worth.
Note the good in me and do not merely point out my negative behaviors. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

4. Thou shall not perceive me as dumb.
I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and maybe not as quickly as you expect me to. Have patience with me. Once I recall information, I never forget.

5. Thou shall not judge my behavior.
I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I may be hypersensitive to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears. Fluorescent lights are distracting for me. They have a humming noise, and can pulsate. All the noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to help me.

6. Thou shall not be so quick to scold me.
Do not tell me that “I know what I did”. I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in a simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your bedroom. Tell me exactly what you want, such as ‘Please make your bed and pick up your toys”.

7. Thou shall not compare me to others.
Please remind me, and note the talents that I possess. This increases my confidence and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.

8. Thou shall not exclude me from activities.
Please do not mimic me, ignore me, or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It hurts my feelings when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to birthday parties too. Grown ups can help me make friends by encouraging other children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to know me.

9. Thou shall give me choices.
I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise. Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like to wear.

10. Thou shall not judge me by my diagnosis, but by my character.
I am an individual, just like other children.





My question is, reading through this, how often do you as a parent of a child or children with autism catch yourself thinking "oh crap, I do that and that and that..."  I think I will make a more conscious effort in thinking before reacting with the kids.  Maybe I should have this printed in poster form and put it up on a wall to remind myself on a daily basis...


Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

Thursday, 31 January 2013

My Specialty Is Sarcasm, But I Can Be Just Plain Mean

I think we all know just how passionate I am about autism awareness.  I don't share my life with the entire world to see for the fun of it.  I do it to show people that people with autism are not stupid, dumb, defiant or violent without cause...  People with autism think differently and view life in a different way than us boring, neurotypical, fake, selfish and egotistical folk who will do whatever it takes to be accepted among our peers to the point of changing who we truly are and lying to others to be envied and looked up to.  Us 'normal' people just don't know when to quit when competing with the Joneses, do we?

I think my biggest pet peeve with people is that they like to offer unsolicited parenting advice to parents who are raising children on the autism spectrum.   And to those people I would just like to say "Maybe you should concentrate on cleaning up the mess you made raising your own kids before you start playing Supernanny to ours."

A fellow Winnipeg autism mother went shopping at The Real Canadian Super Store with her son who has autism.  This child's autism is much more intense then my kids, and when you watch him, it is clear that he is a child with a disability.  While shopping, the poor boy had a wee bit of an episode as he suffers from extreme anxiety and was most likely over stimulated... and a manager came to my friend and asked "Is there a problem here?" and kind of put my friend in an awkward position...  There's more to the story, but the part that is upsetting the most is that when she went on The Real Canadian Superstore facebook page to let the store know what happened and her offense at how the situation was handled by the store manager, a supposed 'normal' employee or past employee (if his facebook account is accurate), had two comments to say, and I literally copied and pasted these comments:

1)
Steven Brazeau commented on Real Canadian Superstore's Wall post.
Steven wrote: "Autism isn't a real disease, what is it about today's parents that lead them to label their kids with a disease if they aren't the coolest kid in school. Just because your kid isn't popular socially doesn't give you the excuse to label them with autism."


2)
Steven Brazeau commented on Real Canadian Superstore's Wall post.
Steven wrote: "Do you think you're special or something? Just because. Your kid has autism you think you're entitled to ruin my experience shopping by letting him have a temper tantrum? Take that outside and let him throw a hissy fit. I should complain to superstore about letting kids having open temper tantrums ruining everyones experience."


Wow!
I'm speechless...  And that doesn't happen very often.
My roommate had to take my laptop away for a while.  She did her best to edit my original post on this, and then called in reinforcements.

First of all, if this Steven Brazeau is or has been employed by the Real Canadian Superstore, I think they have a major HR problem.

Second...  people!!!  Understand that just because you delete your comment on facebook, doesn't mean it wasn't seen on facebook by others, and furthermore...  SOME OF US HAVE COMMENTS FORWARDED TO OUR EMAILS!!!  Even if you delete your comment, guess what?  It's too late!  The comment has already been emailed to the poster's email address!

Autism is not a disease.  It's not something you catch from someone.

Children and adults diagnosed with autism are not diagnosed by their parents, there are actual psychiatrists that have a university degree that give them the 'right' to do that.

An excuse to call my children autistic?  Seriously?  I'd much rather call my children the next Einstein!  Autism is not a country club us parents want to belong to!

As a mother of a child with autism, I can honestly tell you my children's popularity in school is the least of my concerns.  Our kids couldn't care less if they're considered cool or not, that is kind of the beauty of autism.  They couldn't care less about Mr. and Mrs. Jones and what they have.  

And for the record, autism is not a disgrace, ignorance is.  I am proud of all my kids.  It is society that calls my children autistic, God calls them PERFECT.  So for those that have a problem with people on the autism spectrum going shopping for their groceries, a necessity for survival, well...  take it outside and have your own little hissy fit.  Let the rest of us go in the grocery store, do our necessary shopping and get out.


As always, consider yourselves hugged,

Lou


Wednesday, 16 January 2013

And Here We Are... The New And Improved Brady Bunch Family!

I've gone from having one child to having nine.  Yes, I said nine.

My room mate and I have four, my boyfriend has five more.  That's nine.  And out of the nine, five are on the autism spectrum.  God created a world of diversity...  not to separate us for our differences, but to teach us acceptance and to love each other for what makes us unique.  And my family is unique...  Autism means I won't lead an ordinary life, I will lead an extraordinary life!!!

How do my boyfriend and I do it?  How do we make it through the day?  Well...  we believe in the power of vegetables.  That's right, I said vegetables; they give us the energy to get through the day.  Since we fully and completely believe that coffee comes from beans (I dare you to challenge me on this), we figure the ten pots of coffee consumed between us during the course of the day covers our daily recommended amount of vegetables, which in turn gives us the energy to tackle the kids.  Extra 'vegetables' are consumed on our Tuesday night PACE KID GYMBOREE evenings to take on more children and play hard.

My room mate thinks I'm nuts.  She may have a point, I've been known to be a wee bit of a nut sometimes, but even though I'm different, sometimes you gotta love me, right?  Right??  Right?!  Dayton's dad laughs and ridicules me every time he calls to speak to Dayton when I'm at my boyfriend's place because he hears the kids screaming in the background...  Neither one of them views life in the same way I do:  One of the most attractive, sexiest traits a man can have is being a good daddy.  While genes may make you a father, they certainly don't make you a daddy.  Daddy is the guy who sits up with the kids, stands up for them at their IEP meetings and would gladly lay his life on the line for all of them.  He's also the guy who comes to the PACE KID'S GYMBOREE and plays hard with all the kids present instead of just sitting on the side lines, consumed with something else entirely.


Come on!!!  Who wouldn't find this attractive?!  In love these Ryan Gosling pics, so here's some more from Extreme Parenting...




Now, while my boyfriend looks nothing like Ryan Gosling, he is the man behind these words.  This is just how he is.  Caring, giving, and completely 100% involved  when it comes to the kids.  And after a long day with the kids, he turns to me and gives me 100% of his attention...  Wow.  A good man can make you feel sexy, strong and able to take on the world...  oh, sorry...  that's wine...  wine does that.  An easy mistake to make...  But seriously, he's the best.  He makes me feel special and important.  Judy Garland said it best:  "For it was not into my ear that you whispered, but into my heart.  It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul."  That's what he does for me.  And for now, that is enough.  That's every girl's dream.

And then of course there are the children.  I've always wanted a house full of kids.  And now I do.  I don't care who you are, no matter what, no matter how old you may be...  hugs from children make everything better.  Getting a hug from a child with autism and sensory issues...  priceless!  You know you're truly loved when that happens.

Now if I could just get them all to behave...

Am & K (12 and 14 years old, both have autism) like to eat everything in sight first thing in the morning and hide wrappers all over the house.  They also like to get up at 5am; it doesn't matter if it's a weekday or not, they're up at 5am and that's final.  We've tried putting them to bed late, but it doesn't make a difference.  Once they're up, the rest of the house wakes as these two are not graceful like their father.  I swear, these two could totally pass for my own, biological kids.  They share my 'swag.'  Dayton, my first and only born (10, turning 11 next month!) is not a morning person...  not unless it's the weekend.  So the three of my babes before medication are a handful together.  Especially when they all believe they are right, but don't agree on anything.  Their motto seems to be "Even though we disagree, you are entitled to your opinion, just don't say it out loud or there will be hell to pay.  You have every right to be wrong.  Once I say you're wrong, stop talking!"  Oh yeah baby...  we're moving like a herd of turtles through a field of peanut butter now!  This argument has the stamina to last for hours of fun.  But do not fear. I believe that for every set back, God has a major come back.  So I do what I can, and let God take over with what I can't handle, sit down at the kitchen table and sip on my vegetables.

At, (age 5, super hyper and we question ADHD) is my little Marilyn Monroe.  She's a diva, and she makes sure everyone in the house knows it.  It's her way or all hell breaks loose.  She's blond, with curly hair (when I said Marilyn Monroe, I meant it), super cute, and she knows it and uses it to her full advantage.  The girl knows what she wants and gets it, irregardless of the cost.

J is 4, a little small for his age as he was born premature.  He's a little trooper.  J was the one of the bunch that took a while to earn his trust.  Now that I have it, he's attached at my hip, literally.  He was the first to call me momma (other than Dayton of course), and the first to run to the door to greet me.  J also practically worships the ground Dayton walks on and has just recently decided to call him 'brother.'

J & At have taught me that the more annoying a toy, the longer the battery lasts...  A story all of its own for another time.

As is 18 going on 30.  She's recently moved in with her grandpa and I don't get to spend nearly as much time with her as I'd like to.  Her Asperger's, OCD, ADHD and other conditions make her an interesting young woman, whom I've become very proud of.  She has her first job, and has had it since the summer.  This may seem to be just another mile stone for some of you, but it's a major thing to us.  She's also received the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal for her efforts in Special Olympics!!!  Who can say that about their kids?  Yes, I know...  I'm oozing with pride that I have no right to, as it wasn't I who raised her.  Her mother was a wonderful and amazing woman who taught her daughter well.  I have the privilege of watching her daughter continue on with the Special Olympics and once in a while, offer 'motherly' advice.  We both know that I could never, ever fill her mother's shoes.  

My room mate's kids don't call me mom, but they have occasionally called me their 'other mother.'  And if there's any doubt as to their love for me, they remind me they consider me their mom by their behaviour towards me.

B (17) is the daughter every mom dreams of.  She's smart, on the honor roll at school and wants to be a paediatrician.  The girl even has O- blood, (the special kind that anyone can have) which she donates every 62 days.  She cleans the house every Sunday, at which time we make sure the rest of the children and adults leave the house as she gets a wee bit cranky.  Usually, I hide out with Dayton at my boyfriend's place.   Her Christmas card to me read:  "Dear mom, I wish you spent more time at home..."  I love her sooooo much!!!

R (15, with autism) is a good kid who always greets me at the door when he hears my car pull up in the driveway and helps me unpack my car.  There are days where he doesn't speak to me for a week at a time after I scold him for something, usually when he's cranky and does something silly to show everyone how ticked off he is.  Let's just say the basement has been redone twice in two years.  This last summer while moving in, my boyfriend, room mate and I had R help in gutting and restoring the basement.  I think he's learnt his lesson...  He's in the process of getting an autism service dog, who's huge!  R will be doing a lot of walking once we get the dog back to our home, meaning lots of energy spent, less time to get himself into trouble.

M (10 years old) is the boy I love to tease and tease and tease.  He makes it so easy...  When he comes back from his dad's house I chase him around the house, screaming at the top of my lungs how much I love him and how much I've missed him...  The way to get what I want from him is to get him Microsoft points for his x-box...  I've just given him 4, 200 points to get him to stop playing Black Ops in the house...  All right, so the kid has expensive taste.  Oh, and the only thing the kid will eat is CHICKEN!!!  Grrr...  I get even with him by feeding him beef when he misbehaves.

And then of course, I can not forget the cats (Grrr, my room mate has 3 of them).  I'm not particularly fond of them as they (actually it's one of them, and when I figure out which one, we're gonna have some words) shed all over my stuff.  The cats' fur sticks to the furniture, clothes, bedding (that's the one that irritates me the most as I have allergies) and oh yes, AIR.  Things the cats' fur does not stick to?  The cats themselves!  Anyone see my problem here?!  I'm hoping R's autism service dog takes them out one by one...  I've already told M that one of the cats who I suspect is the culprit in the shedding vandalism is old, and may soon part with us do to 'natural' causes.

B also has a small dog, who has turned out to be my best friend.  On days where I feel overwhelmed and stressed due to my darling ex husband, I swear this dog is in tune with me and she nudges me around the house, cuddles with me when I sit and keeps me on my toes.  On days where I'm good, she just plays with me.

Thank you Lord for my health, the people you've surrounded me with, the roof over my head, the food in our belies, the wee bit of change in my pocket the children haven't found, and the song in my heart.  You have blessed my life with my children, and I will thank you every day.

I am just really, really, really happy with my life right now.


Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

Monday, 14 January 2013

I Could Pee In This; Happy New Year Mom!

Yup, he peed in my wine glass.  And I drank it.  Gross.  The boy is grounded until further notice.  No joke.  No video games of any kind for the next month.  No Netflix for the next month.  And every time he jokes around about pee I cringe and dry heave.

There is a bond between father and son that I just don't understand.  It doesn't matter what kind of a father the man is, a son will always look up to him.  Not that I'm saying Dayton's dad is a bad guy, I've just seen boys with their dads, and some of these dads are not the best role models.  We'll just leave it at that.

Autism or no autism, Dayton is afraid of betraying his dad.  Not quite sure where he learned what betrayal means, I'm too stunned from the aftermath of his fear of 'betrayal' to have looked into this.  Dayton has a major passion to protect his father, who is 6'3" tall and apparently not able to defend himself against me, a 5'6" woman with the upper body strength of a kitten.

Obeying my rules at home means he's betraying his dad.  I've sported bruised arms, a fat lip, numerous melt downs resulting in being shoved down the stairs as Dayton views being nice and liking me and my new special friend as a betrayal to his father.  All I've asked of Dayton is to sit down at the dinner table to eat, stay seated until everyone's done eating, eat what you put on your plate, don't yell and scream and threaten the kids you're living with, try to get along, share time and toys, and respect people around you as you want to be respected yourself, especially your mother and her friends...

"Don't blame me, I'm just like my daddy."

Yes, yes he is...  but I don't think even "daddy" would pee in my wine glass.

There are days where we all get along well and enjoy each other's company, and then there are days where my new motto kicks into overdrive:
1)   Don't scream, yell or cry.  Dayton doesn't understand social etiquette where someone else's feelings are
      concerned, so he will not do what I expect him to do, making me feel even worse.
2)   Don't give up.  Dayton's worth the fight!
3)   Don't strangle the cats or dog.  Yes, they shed over my stuff, but they're a part of my family.
4)   Don't give up.  All of my kids are worth the struggle of staying sane.
5)   Put the chocolate down
6)   Don't give up.  I love my kids!  On good days, they make me laugh and one of them even gives me a
      massage!
7)   Don't drink anything out of a wine glass unless I've just poured it myself
8)   Don't give up.  One day, as a geriatric mother, I will get even with ALL of my children.  One day...
9)   Do not speak to the ex as I may say something I may regret after my meltdown is over
10) Don't give up.  Life without my babies is not worth living.  The joys of grandmotherhood is just around
      the corner.  I can hardly wait to feed them all candies and send them home!!!


Consider yourselves hugged,


Lou

Tuesday, 11 December 2012

Executive Decision Making

Divorce...  It's horrible.  He said, she said.  He hurt, she hurt.  He's right, she's right.  Friends who really are not friends (there's a message for you folks at the end of this post).  Money...   I've heard so much crap, my ears are constipated.  And who's left in the middle?  The child.

Divorce is hard enough as it is.  And for the child stuck in the middle, it's even harder.  Parents playing tug of war and using the poor kid as a pawn in the game of thrones happens because both parents figure they know their child best.  Each parent thinks they can do better than the other, and I'll be the first to admit that I feel I can do better than Dayton's dad.  And Dayton's dad thinks he can do better than I can.  Our so called 'mutual friends' are making things worse for Dayton's dad, 'spying' on me on Autism Diva Help and on facebook...  So here we are, with Dayton stuck in the middle.


Seeing my son go through pain is the hardest thing I think I've ever gone through. Especially when everything is out of my hands and I can't help control it (no, I'm not a control freak...  will explain in a bit).


Dentist appointments and child psychologist appointments done separately just doesn't work.  One of the parents needs to stay in charge of these medical issues, it should not be another thing to argue about.  The parent who primarily was in charge in the past should continue to remain in charge, because that is what's best for the child.  The parent who wasn't involved in past has every right to be involved, but should never just take the rains and go their own way because they feel they have "the right" to do this.

But that's a pipe dream.  In reality...  Well...  Oy vey...

Dayton's dad made a decision to take Dayton to the dentist, which I agreed should happen, as long as Dayton went to Children's Dental World which is known to have had good results with children on the autism spectrum.  Instead, Glen made an appointment for Dayton at a location of his choice, then cancelled the appointment because I was coming as I promised Dayton that both daddy and I would be there to support him.  Then when I was done arguing with Glen and text him that he should keep the dental appointment for Dayton as Dayton needed the appointment more than he needed mommy there, Glen re-schedules and then says I'm welcome to come?!  Oy vey...

Long story short, Glen tries to hush me as I explain to the receptionist that Dayton has high functioning autism and oral sensory issues...  No surprise to me, the dentist is not able to do much due to Dayton's sensory issues, including gag reflex.  His back molars may have cavities in them as Dayton's not able to brush the very back of his mouth.  Sooooo...  the dentist refers Dayton to Children's Dental World...  I know...

While this experience infuriated me, as Dayton had to go through discomfort for no reason other than his father's "right" to take him to a dentist, some good did come out of this.  I think his dad sees that I'm not trying to be a control freak.  I think he's starting to see that I am not looking at our son as a pawn in our life, and that while yes, I am a protective mother (my motto:  A mother would kill for her child, die for her child and forgive for her child...  I would do all three at the same time for my son's safety, health and happiness), I'm really not the pathetic, clingy ex-wife he's made me out to be.  I think he finally understands that I don't want him back in my life, and that what I really want is what's best for my baby.  While he may hate me, I think he finally sees that I do know what Dayton's limitations are and what he really needs...  At least that's what I'm choosing to walk away with this weekend.

Oh, and I've learned facebook is the devil.  It appears our mutual friends are adding fuel to the fire by sharing what I have to say on facebook with Dayton's dad.  For example:

My Divorce Party Cake
I'm sorry there are 'friends' out there that are offended by my sense of humour, but I thought this was hilarious!  At this time in my life, I need a good laugh.  I'm certainly not the first, nor will I be the last woman on earth going through a divorce.  To my 'concerned friends,' this too shall pass...  And, keep in mind, sometimes, when you try to help, you're actually making things worse.  Gossiping about me to Dayton's dad and telling them what my thoughts of the day are is really not helping him, it's just making him bitter.  While yes, it causes an argument between us, it is Dayton that pays the price for your stupidity.  Focus your energies on helping the guy, not making him feel worse.  So...  You don't like what I have to say, don't look at my work.  It's really that simple.  In the mean time...
Consider yourselves hugged,


Lou