Friday, 8 July 2011

The Autism Creed

Grandma Karen...  darling, witty, charismatic, funny and loving Dayton to a fault grandma Karen.  I think out of all the people that have a relationship with my son, grandma Karen actually "gets" Dayton.  She seems to know how he thinks, she's quick to come up with disciplinary actions that make sense and are not degrading to Dayton and have an affect on him, and loves him unconditionally.  I am very fortunate to have her support, and so is Dayton.  He loves her right back.  Autism can make for a lonely life, but thanks to grandma Karen, I'm not lonely.  Over time, she's become my voice of reason.  

So, funny Karen had posted a funny on my facebook page, called the "Toddler's Creed," asking me to substitute Dayton's name for Toddler.  Here it is:

Toddler's Creed
If I want it, it's mine.
If I give it to you and change my mind later, it's mine.
If I take it away from you, it's mine.
...If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
If it's mine, it will never belong to anybody else, no matter what.
If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine.  If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
Notice any similarities with your child?  How true it is for Dayton!!!  

"If I want it, it's mine."  How many times did I get an email from school, telling me how Dayton took someones pop, juice, chocolate bar, etc...

"If I give it to you and I change my mind later, it's mine."  Ugh.  I hate this one.  Dayton has 'traded' Pokemon cards and parts of his bayblades, only to throw a fit later because he wants his stuff back.  Trying to explain that 'trading' means you're giving up your stuff for the stuff you 'traded' for is pointless sometimes.  So I've made it a rule for all the kids to know...  NO TRADING. 

"If I take it away from you, it's mine."  Ummm, need I say more?  Holly crap, happens all the time!  The other day Dayton's playing with his buddy's Pokemon Black Nintendo DS games.  When his buddy shows up at our place to play with Dayton, he sees the game and has a meltdown of his own.  "That's my game Dayton!  I've been looking for it everywhere!!!"  
"It's mine!"
"No it isn't!  The character's name is Tommy, that's MY NAME!!!  And he's done all the levels I've done with my character.  This is MY GAME!!!  You stole it from me!  I'm not your friend anymore!!!"

"If I had it a little while ago, it's mine."  Yes, visiting a friend or playing outside sharing toys with the other kids, we run into this ALL THE TIME.  The boys on the playground are playing with life savers (I think that's what they're called...  they're those light sword things from Star Wars.  Anyway...  Dayton drops it on the ground, Evan picks it up, and it's all out war.  "That's mine Evan!!!"
"No, it's Tommy's!"
"Give it back Evan, NOW!!!"
You get how it ends...

"If it's mine, it will never belong to anyone else, no matter what."  Just recently, I gave one of Dayton's six year old friends Dayton's old pajamas...  Holly spaz!!!  "Dayton, the pajamas haven't fit you since you were seven!!!  (He's nine years old now)  Just let Evan have them!!!"
"No, they're mine!"
"Dayton, you don't like to wear pajamas!!!  You never wear them!"
"They're mine and I said NO!!!"

"If we are building something together, all the pieces are mine."  I don't know how many times I've emptied Dayton's pant pockets before putting them in the wash, to find little pieces of daycare or school lego.  "It's mine!!!"  
"Dayton, we don't have Star Wars lego!"
"But Johnny and I built it together, it's mine..."
Ugh.  I'm not sure if some trading's taking place or if it belongs to the school or daycare, and I'm too tired to fight after making Dayton do his reading...  

"If it looks just like mine, it's mine."  Hmmmm...  This one happened just last night.  
"No Dayton, that's my camping chair!!!"  Screams Evan at the top of his lungs.  I look over and sure enough, the boys are playing tug of war with this fold up chair, and I'm trying to get to them as fast as I can, holding my kidney in place before it explodes.  Sure enough, Dayton wins the tug of war, and in the process grazes Evan's face with one of the legs of the chair.  Tears explode out of Evan and the water works begin.  "DAYTON HIT ME IN THE FACE!!!"  
Evan doesn't care if it was an accident or not, he's six years old, to him there is no such thing as an accident, it's all intentional.  I love this boy as though he was my own, so tears well up in my eyes too.  The pain in my kidney intensifies and my mind goes fuzzy.  I wish I could have got to them sooner, so no one got hurt.  Evan's chair looks EXACTLY like Dayton's.  My mistake.  I figured if I bought the boys the same kind of chair, there would be no fighting...  Boy was I wrong.

Oh well.  One day, my little prince will learn through natural consequences that this kind of behavior will lose him friends.  I hope.  In the mean time, I'm the mamma outside at the playground, sitting in my camping chair, supervising his play, in pain or not.  

Consider yourselves hugged,


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