"Dayton, time to go inside."
"Dayton, put your toys away."
"Dayton, clean up your room, please."
"Dayton, we need to put on sun screen before going to the swimming pool."
"Because I am your mother and I said so!!!" (I remember saying to myself before having a child how I would never, ever use this cliche, but I'm only human).
"You always say that momma!"
"Because the sun burned a tiara on my forehead, that's why! Don't question the princess mister!!! The tiara shaped tan on my forehead is a sign from God, that I make the rules and you follow them!!!" (I'm not kidding, it looks like someone dumped a bag of Doritos on my forehead and ate off it. I've been smearing sun screen on the outline only, hoping the sun will tan the rest of my forehead, but no way. It's like it knows...)
"Dont' question the princess, do as you're told!"
And it's not just a simply asked "why." No, no. That would be waaaaaaay to easy. Nope. Dayton's "why" is asked in a nasally, whiny, stomp his foot kind of "why." Which naturally, makes me go nuts. My all time favorite is when I call his name, and he either a.) he pretends not to hear me, or b.) when I scream his name loud enough for the entire condo complex to hear me, birds scare enough to poo on the spot, caterpillars instantly transform into butterflies and dogs pee instantly, I get this snotty "WHAT?!" Not only will this response make my skin crawl, but it elicits a response in my central nervous system which makes my left eye twitch, my teeth bite my tongue, and makes my right hand wanna spank his bony little butt. But I can't spank it because when I say his butt is bony, I mean BONY. I fully know that it would more likely hurt me than him, so there's really no sense. I'm mad enough already, no need to add fuel to the fire.
After I settle down, I think to myself at least Dayton's autism hasn't affected his behavior in this sense. Many children not diagnosed with any label behave in this matter, most probably end the "why" questioning much earlier in life (Dayton's 9 years old), but the snarly little "WHAT?!" response is quite typical for a teenager, right? Woo-hooo! Dayton's ahead at least with the attitude! Yes, I try to find a silver lining in each situation I'm in with my lil' man. Now I just gotta figure out how to survive puberty, cause if he's ahead in this department, what's waiting for me during puberty???
Don't worry, I'm not kidding myself. I know fully well why (pardon the pun) Dayton asks "why." With autism, if he doesn't have an understanding of "why" things need to be done, he simply won't do them. I battle with this on a daily basis, especially the cleaning of his room. Dayton is not as embarrassed as I am to have people see his messy room, no matter what the age of these little people is or grown ups. To me, a home must be clean and tidy. When my home is not clean and tidy, I stress right out. Perhaps my own autism is coming out... I need to know where to find the scissors and nail clippers. If I can't find them right away, I have a melt down of my own, maybe because that hang nail is painful and I want the pain to stop RIGHT NOW? Maybe... So I hide a pair of nail clippers in my jewelry box, just in case. I hope no one thinks I'm totally nuts...
I remember having a plaque once upon a time. I'm not sure what happened to it, I wish I could find it. It had a quote from one of my favorite women of all time, Mother Teresa: "I know God will only give me what I can handle." Before autism came into my life, I had no clue what stress really was, or just how much God believes in ME to be able to handle. There are times where I wish God didn't trust me so much, but when I look at my lil' man, I can't imagine my life without him. I love him soooooooo much!!! I do wish for easier days though.
Consider yourselves hugged,