Monday, 4 June 2012

Like An Autism Mom's Plate Ain't Full Enough

It doesn't seem to matter what your age is, some people just never grow up.  Sure, they grow taller, as Dayton's dad seems to remind me when I tell him to grow up (he always points to his height and tells me he's more grown up then I am, yes, I'm height challenged).  But I'm here to tell you that just isn't the same.

Someone messaged me on facebook, telling me how an educational assistant at Dayton's school has told people that my son is a "Curse" on his school.  While I have mentioned Dayton's name more than once on Autism Diva Help, I have never mentioned the school name or anyone who works there by name.  This person was able to name the school and one of the educational assistant's name, in fact the same educational assistant who hurt Dayton last year by bending his thumb back harshly in order to get an item out of his hand...  So, naturally, I paid attention to this message and even put up a message on Autism Diva Help to have this person contact me again.

Here are his/her messages to me:

Message number 1:  Hi Mrs. Lovrin. I think you would like to know this, and as a parent myself I would want to know. There are teachers and EA's at ****** School that talk about you and your son outside of school, and in inappropriate manner. I called the school as a concerned parent to complain, but also thought you should know this.   Ms.******** and other teachers that work and have worked with your son do this. It should stop! It disturbs me that this goes on, the maturity level of these people that are suppose to show and teach our young. Never mind how much of a confident breach it is. Sorry to tell you this, but you probably already thought it went on. I am confirming it does.

Message number 2:  I emailed you in shock about what I was hearing said about your son at ******** school. And as far as I can tell you have not done anything about it. I heard some more terrible things today from an EA Ms. ********** about your son and how much of "A Curse" he is to have in the school. And there were people around. How can we have EAs and teacher think, and speak about kids so wrongfully. I have called the school about this and they have not done anything. I am hoping you do!

Did you know that facebook has two different places to check messages?  Yup, I now check both places for messages every day.  The first message was sent to me in Feb, the next in March.  I didn't read the messages until MAY!!!  So I message this informant back, explaining that I'm just not as facebook savy as I once thought I was and to please contact me...  Her/His response, message number 3:

Hi again, 
My apologies on the delay this time. I have been away from Facebook. I just seen your blog today. I do not have any more information to tell you, other than what I have already said. The rest is up to you to follow up on. It must be tough in your shoes. I feel for you, and these kind of people who feel they have to belittle the mentally challenged and socially weak. To me this is a kind of bullying in the worst form, something the schools are against. This is why I feel as though I had to inform you about what I know. I am sure you can pick out the handful plus a few who have spoken badly about you and your son behind your backs and in very inappropriate manners. I do not feel I am close enough to the situation to be directly involved, I have enough on my plate as I'm sure you would appreciate. I wish I could help you more. If I hear of anything else, you would be the first to know.

Please keep me and your other blog fans informed on how things turn out. You seem like a very nice woman with a lot on your plate. Keep in touch.

My response:  I would like to know who the other teachers are, and WHERE they were discussing my son. I have called the school, and the principal says that he has already dealt with the situation, telling me that you and Ms. ********  have a 'private' issue and that this is why you called the school, to get even with her. So... without further information, they are not going to do anything.

Message number 4:  Ms. ***** ****is the only one whose name I know. The others I do not. I do not have any issues with anyone, I do have issues with teachers slandering students. Especially students who are mentally ill. Can I ask you this Mrs. Lovrin? Whatever my situation is with Ms. ************* or anyone, why do I even know THESE things at all? That is inappropriate in itself. I should not have had to say anything other than what I said in the original email to you, and the phone call I made to the school. They should be doing something about this, it is a shameful response from the principal to chalk this serious situation up to a "personal issue". I personally would not want my families issues flaunted around a public school. By the STAFF! Maybe you have to take this up with your Superintendent? Local MP?. I would try the school division first. This is a sad situation. Like I said good luck!


If this is someone trying to get back at Ms. ***********, then who am I to falsely accuse anyone of something as horrendous as bullying a child with autism?  I will agree with the writer of these messages on one point...  Confidentiality HAS been breached, in a BIG way. There's no way for this person to know where my son attends school or any private family issues that are circulating around the school as well as outside of the school.  I can not ignore that.  Even if this person has an issue with Ms ****** and is somehow trying to get even with this EA, it is obvious that this EA has been talking about Dayton and I.

I do have a message for this EA:  UNDERSTAND THIS:  Say what you want about me, I'm an adult and can certainly handle your level of immaturity...  But, say the wrong thing TO or ABOUT my child (this goes for ANYONE that disrespects my babe) and you'd better sleep with your eyes open.  You think my son is a curse in your school...  Lady, you don't know what a curse is!  Try having what are supposed to be mature, caring adults trying to make you go crazy, pushing your buttons until you go postal...  That's a curse, and you've imposed it on me.  Maybe I should have done more last year when you hurt my babe, but I let it go as people make mistakes and get frustrated.  Dayton wasn't very hurt, so no harm done, but do not mistake my kindness for weakness.  That is your curse my dear.  The old Lou, the one who bent over backwards for y'all is gone.  She's been replaced with a new me.  One that doesn't cry when you hurt her feelings, but fights back.  There's a curse for ya!

So.  If you have any information on what's happening or have any ideas as to how to come to the truth of the matter, please email me or facebook message me.  Your thought, prayers, weapons and advice is very much appreciated.

Consider yourselves hugged,


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