I know most of you out there strive to be "just like me" when you grow up. Because let's face it, I'm the "bomb." I have a gorgeous body covered in lots and lots of adipose tissue to protect and cushion my skeletal system and vital organs and keep me warm at night, making it easier to live without a man... I'm a diva, I get to make my own rules because I'm all grown up as well as around, and I smell good. Oh, and my friends tell me I have great hair. But let's not kid ourselves. Not everything in my life is rosy...
Due to all that adipose tissue and my age, I'm now on blood pressure medication. Yup, it's official, I'm an old maid. I thought I had a few more years in me, but it seems middle age has snuck up on me, along with these pesky, wiry, shiny, silver hair I used to be able to get away calling blond... I now officially get my youth from a L'Oreal box I lovingly call "grey away," like my momma taught me, and pluck away at the two darn silver hair growing out of my left eye brow.
The silver lining in all of this (you know I'm all a about the silver lining, right) is that the roman numeral for 40 is XL! Isn't that nice? As I've matured, I've noticed these skin discolourations on my face and hands... what the heck is that about? Gravity, by the way, does exist. I won't scare you with the things I've found hanging that used to be lifted much, much higher. Things I used to enjoy eating are now giving me heartburn, and Metamucil's become my closest friend.
Cat naps are my favourite time of the day, and not getting one is a bad thing for anyone around me. As my boss has pointed out, I'm a nice Lou, but all of a sudden mean Lou (my evil twin Lola) comes out of nowhere. Not to mention I'm getting louder since I'm losing the hearing in my left ear.
As nice as the cat naps are, I miss sleeping in the evening. What is it about the dark that my body won't relax and do what comes naturally? The hot sweats in the middle of the night aren't helping things in this department.
What's happening to me? I'm scared? Someone, give me a hug and tell me this too shall pass...