So, I'm having a difficult time with homework with Dayton... We've been gone for a week and a half, and he has no problems doing the home reading part with me, but he will not write...
His reasoning: "I do school work at school, and home reading at home."
"Dayton, you're missing two weeks of school for us to be out here, and your teacher's given us some work to do while you're gone..."
"Mamma, we're not at school. I only do school work at school, not at home."
Argh....
"Babe, your sense of reasoning is not helping me here, and I can't handle all these rules. Let's just do the work!!!"
"Well mamma, it's not my rules, it's my brain's."
Well, what the heck am I supposed to do with that information?! Helloooooooo, how do I argue this point?! Argh!!!!
He has no reasoning skills. I can't figure out if he's just being a 10 year old trying to get away with not doing his work, or if he's really not able to get past this 'school work is done at school and home reading is done at home' method of thinking. All I know is that it gets my panties in a knot, and it makes him scratch his skin even harder. You know, the way someone going through withdrawals might scratch... Kind of makes us both feel uncomfortable. If I push harder, he goes into meltdown city, and I'm just not up to the challenge right now.
Anyways, consider yourselves hugged, and if you have some advice, for the love of everything Holly, SHARE it with me, please!!!
Lou
Tuesday, 1 November 2011
Saturday, 29 October 2011
Live, Love, Laugh And Be Happy
Staying in Campbell River has not been easy for me. My dad and I don't really get along and don't see eye to eye on many things... for example swearing in front of children...
Dad's big on swearing. Every second word is an "F" bomb, and he believes he's a man's man, and all real men behave as he does. Now picture a 240 lb man in his 60's, who considers himself a lady's man, swears like a truck driver and has an attitude resembling that of a cave man. With a thick European accent. Archie Bunker couldn't hold a candle to my dad. That's what I'm dealing with here. I love my dad, but wow... Abrasive, rough around the edges... Loud... A customer service representative's worst nightmare...
So... Glen took Dayton fishing yesterday with his Aussie brother in law Iain, the one who presented grandpa's beautiful eulogy... and fell in the water with his iPhone... You can imagine the agony. I know I myself can not live without my blackberry... The screams of horror.
So Dayton goes to grandma Margaret and tells her all about how "daddy only worried about his God damned phone."
Awkward.
All my hard work of teaching Dayton to use his words properly have gone out to pasture. All done. Months of work, all gone. And let's not forget my dad's brilliant idea of getting him a PSP with an army gun game... Poof! All my hard work gone straight out the door. My boy's back to drawing guns and cutting them out. I'm mortified. Thinking of keeping Dayton home for an extra week when we get home. I don't trust him to go to school now. My dad thinks this is funny.
So, I'm left with a couple of choices... Risk angering my dad (please keep in mind that he's 240 lbs, and strong as a bull, and has been known to throw his weight around) which I believe to be physically dangerous, or continue whining that his behavior is inappropriate. Either way, it doesn't look good, and I have a week to go...
So, in my search of comfort, I've found a poem I'd like to share with you, and I wish I knew who the author was to give them credit, but here it is anyways...
When you are so sure that someone is out to hurt you, it becomes very difficult to forgive their shortcomings. It is much easier to believe that people develop clever and malicious ways to inflict hurts on you than it is to accept that they are merely humans doing what humans do. For some strange reason, it is much easier to take everything very personally rather than to accept people as they are, forgive them for what they do, and release them from our lives. We know very well how to be a victim. Being a person who refuses to be victimized seems to be where we have trouble.
Perhaps it is easier to be a victim, because if we really try to understand people we will see many pieces of our self. If we see those pieces of our self, we would have to forgive other people. Forgiveness takes courage. Courage begins in character. A good solid character requires a level of self-esteem so many of us believe we do not have. One way you can enhance your self-esteem is to stop being so willing to be a victim. In order not to be a victim, we must develop the courage to speak up for ourselves. The only way we can develop this kind of courage is to be real clear about who we are. When we know who we are, we will realize that no one can do anything to harm us unless we keep them around and allow them to do so.
Seems I have some things to think about in regards to my dad, don't I?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Dad's big on swearing. Every second word is an "F" bomb, and he believes he's a man's man, and all real men behave as he does. Now picture a 240 lb man in his 60's, who considers himself a lady's man, swears like a truck driver and has an attitude resembling that of a cave man. With a thick European accent. Archie Bunker couldn't hold a candle to my dad. That's what I'm dealing with here. I love my dad, but wow... Abrasive, rough around the edges... Loud... A customer service representative's worst nightmare...
So... Glen took Dayton fishing yesterday with his Aussie brother in law Iain, the one who presented grandpa's beautiful eulogy... and fell in the water with his iPhone... You can imagine the agony. I know I myself can not live without my blackberry... The screams of horror.
So Dayton goes to grandma Margaret and tells her all about how "daddy only worried about his God damned phone."
Awkward.
All my hard work of teaching Dayton to use his words properly have gone out to pasture. All done. Months of work, all gone. And let's not forget my dad's brilliant idea of getting him a PSP with an army gun game... Poof! All my hard work gone straight out the door. My boy's back to drawing guns and cutting them out. I'm mortified. Thinking of keeping Dayton home for an extra week when we get home. I don't trust him to go to school now. My dad thinks this is funny.
So, I'm left with a couple of choices... Risk angering my dad (please keep in mind that he's 240 lbs, and strong as a bull, and has been known to throw his weight around) which I believe to be physically dangerous, or continue whining that his behavior is inappropriate. Either way, it doesn't look good, and I have a week to go...
So, in my search of comfort, I've found a poem I'd like to share with you, and I wish I knew who the author was to give them credit, but here it is anyways...
When you are so sure that someone is out to hurt you, it becomes very difficult to forgive their shortcomings. It is much easier to believe that people develop clever and malicious ways to inflict hurts on you than it is to accept that they are merely humans doing what humans do. For some strange reason, it is much easier to take everything very personally rather than to accept people as they are, forgive them for what they do, and release them from our lives. We know very well how to be a victim. Being a person who refuses to be victimized seems to be where we have trouble.
Perhaps it is easier to be a victim, because if we really try to understand people we will see many pieces of our self. If we see those pieces of our self, we would have to forgive other people. Forgiveness takes courage. Courage begins in character. A good solid character requires a level of self-esteem so many of us believe we do not have. One way you can enhance your self-esteem is to stop being so willing to be a victim. In order not to be a victim, we must develop the courage to speak up for ourselves. The only way we can develop this kind of courage is to be real clear about who we are. When we know who we are, we will realize that no one can do anything to harm us unless we keep them around and allow them to do so.
Seems I have some things to think about in regards to my dad, don't I?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Friday, 28 October 2011
Grandpa's Funeral
Wednesday's weather forecast was dull, gray and rainy... The funeral set for 12:15pm to match with Grandpa Jerry's time of death on Thursday.
Grandpa Jerry's funeral was short and sweet, just the way the man himself was. Short, sweet and to the point. He had zero patience when it came to anything that took too long. "Say what's on your mind and be done with it already" was his attitude.
Dayton was devastated. He cried through the whole funeral, making me having to 'keep it together.' But once the bagpipes came out, I lost it along with him. That is one thing Jerry and Dayton have in common, the love for bagpipes. While Dayton can not handle loud noises or music class in school, he loves the loudest instrument of all... bagpipes.
It was odd to see Dayton so devastated over her grandpa's death. The two of them barely spoke, and lived so far away from each other, separated by two provinces and just under 1300 miles... Dayton seemed unfazed by the news of his grandpa's illness while at home in Winnipeg, but now that we're here in BC, that's all changed.
The poor boy's developed a rash all over the right side of his face, from his forehead to his jaw. His right eye hurts and is red. I took him to the doctor's office and he said he had no idea what the problem was. When I told him that Dayton has PDD-NOS, he had no clue what that meant. I had to explain it was a high functioning form of autism... once he understood we both agreed that the rash may be due to stress. Fantastic, thanks for your help doc. Benadryl hasn't helped much, telling me it's not an allergy, but at least the Advil is helping Dayton with the pain.
The pastor had prayed that the rain would stop at least for the burial, and God answered his prayer. The rain let up just long enough for us to finish the ceremony.
I wanted to keep a copy of the eulogy Jerry's daughter Monica wrote for her brother in law to read at the funeral, and I thought what better place to keep it than here... At least I won't lose it, and I can share the beautiful eulogy with you all.
Grandpa Jerry's funeral was short and sweet, just the way the man himself was. Short, sweet and to the point. He had zero patience when it came to anything that took too long. "Say what's on your mind and be done with it already" was his attitude.
Dayton was devastated. He cried through the whole funeral, making me having to 'keep it together.' But once the bagpipes came out, I lost it along with him. That is one thing Jerry and Dayton have in common, the love for bagpipes. While Dayton can not handle loud noises or music class in school, he loves the loudest instrument of all... bagpipes.
It was odd to see Dayton so devastated over her grandpa's death. The two of them barely spoke, and lived so far away from each other, separated by two provinces and just under 1300 miles... Dayton seemed unfazed by the news of his grandpa's illness while at home in Winnipeg, but now that we're here in BC, that's all changed.
The poor boy's developed a rash all over the right side of his face, from his forehead to his jaw. His right eye hurts and is red. I took him to the doctor's office and he said he had no idea what the problem was. When I told him that Dayton has PDD-NOS, he had no clue what that meant. I had to explain it was a high functioning form of autism... once he understood we both agreed that the rash may be due to stress. Fantastic, thanks for your help doc. Benadryl hasn't helped much, telling me it's not an allergy, but at least the Advil is helping Dayton with the pain.
The pastor had prayed that the rain would stop at least for the burial, and God answered his prayer. The rain let up just long enough for us to finish the ceremony.
I wanted to keep a copy of the eulogy Jerry's daughter Monica wrote for her brother in law to read at the funeral, and I thought what better place to keep it than here... At least I won't lose it, and I can share the beautiful eulogy with you all.
Well I’m pretty sure that a few years ago Jerry probably would not have expected an Australian giving his eulogy – but here I am. For those of you who don’t know me my name is Iain – Jerry’s son-in-law. I have been given the honor of presenting Jerry’s Eulogy and representing his family – returning the favor just over a year after when Jerry gave the father of the Brides speech at our wedding. First a big thank you to all of you who shared your love, condolences and memories with us over the past few days – it has meant a lot to us and thanks for coming and showing our family that Jerry holds a special place in your heart. And a special thanks to those of you who have traveled from afar to be here and support us and to Brian Shaw, a dear friend of Jerry`s for playing the bagpipes today.
While I have only known Jerry a few years, I feel particularly close having spent some intimate time with him, a relatively large Canadian Elk, and a chainsaw. That certainly was a life changing experience for me – Jerry definitely had his out-of-the-box solutions for things.
Jerry Abraham Toews was born in 1947 in Smithers B.C. At around the age of 5 nearly hung himself. He was playing around an old, scrap car when he jumped off and his collar was caught. He was blue in the face by the time he was found and spent a month in hospital recovering. We have been very lucky for every moment of Jerry’s life as there were several near death events in his life.
Jerry came from a very large family – his father being one of 17 children, some of who are here for Jerry today. Jerry also had 7 siblings who all have a remarkable resemblance to him. When he was around 4 years old he nearly chopped off his older brother Ernie’s finger with an axe and in his early years had his front teeth knocked out by his younger sister Susie during a fight over a hockey stick – perhaps that’s why he didn’t enjoy watching hockey or other related sports? One thing is for certain - he had a special place in his heart for each of his brothers and sisters.
In 1970, Jerry met Margaret nee Bjorklund. In the early days, it was obvious Jerry was very fond of Margaret – so much that one day he wore a very large corsage Maggie gave him. Jerry later married Margaret and spent the rest of his life with her – the next 38 years.
Through marriage Jerry was blessed with 2 sons who he loved very much. Shortly after getting married, Jerry, Margaret, Glen and Dale moved to Campbell River where, to add to their family they had a beautiful daughter, Sheila and only 1 year later, twins. When Margaret was 8 months pregnant they found out they were having not only one but two babies!!! He was in so much shock he did not eat for three days. From then on, Jerry called each of the kids `Brat` - an endearing term to prevent him from getting the kids` mixed up. Jerry was then blessed with 10 grandkids with one more on the way.
Jerry was a very private, strong and proud man. He was proud of his country and British Columbia, which is deeply evident by his love for hunting, fishing and the wilderness. His love for the country worked hand in hand with his job as a truck driver – it provided an opportunity to explore the country, spend time alone, visit family, and take magnificent photos through the windscreen.
But his love for exploring was grounded – he simply refused to fly so he could never visit Monica & Carrie who live in Australia. So when the girls decided to get married together in Canada he was extremely excited.
While Jerry loved fishing and hunting Jerry loved of his family most of all. In his last few months, he wanted to leave Margaret something special – so with some help from Ernie, his son-in-law Mike, and a few others he finally build the extended patio Margaret had been asking for the past 35 years. After Jerry found out he had cancer he decided he wanted to visit Australia and make that commitment – yes, he was going to fly and has his passport to prove it. That would have been a huge milestone for Jerry as he was dead set against flying.
For those that knew Jerry well, also knew he had a quirky humor. Jerry had this humor until the day he died, sticking up a for sale sign with a bold Sold Banner for Margaret`s surprise on her return trip, or asking for a `cute` nurse in a humorous way. Thanks to all his Legion mates who helped play the Sold Banner prank on Maggie – he loved spending time with you, playing a game of pool and having a drink – it would only have been made better by taking away the house rule `ball in hand rule``.
In his last few years, he said that if he passed away he would not regret his life – he loved his life with Margaret and was extremely proud and happy to have his life fulfilled with his kids and grandchildren.
Well Jerry, I can say that you will be greatly missed but far from forgotten – we will hear you in the memories that are stored in our hearts and told and retold to our children. We will hear you each time we hear Alan Jackson or a great country music song. And we are all humming your tune, ``um-hum`. And yes, Jerry, you are here in the eyes of those gather here. I can see you in each of your children, your grandchildren, and your siblings. And I especially see you in Margaret, and in the love she holds for all of us. You have taught and given us so much strength and love that you will never be forgotten.
No Jerry, you will never be forgotten. Rest in peace.
Lou
Sunday, 23 October 2011
Destination Home
We had a lay over in Edmonton on our way to BC. During our hour and a half wait in Edmonton, I figured we should probably grab a bite to eat for lunch and maybe have a coffee. As we sat at a table with our subs and drinks, I glanced over to the table next to us. There sat two pilots, who gave us a friendly nod and a smile. One of them turned to Dayton and asked where his destination was.
In his monotone voice used when he's not sure what's appropriate Dayton says: "I'm going to BC." Less then a minute later he says: "Because my grandpa is dying." He said it so matter of factly, like he was telling someone he's going to eat his sandwich.
If there is such a thing as a 'Stop Button' for conversations, I think that that was it right there. Astonished into speechlessness, the pilots just sat there dumbstruck. Slowly, they turned their faces away from us, mumbling something like "I'm sorry for your troubles..." I mean, what do you say to something like that?
As for me, I was struck by Dayton's way of thinking, his way of looking at things as white and black with no emotion. The sky is blue, not black... In my moment of sadness, I couldn't help but wonder if Dayton's missing a 'sensitivity chip' or something. How can he not feel? I thought back to my conversation with Dayton's school, where I was told that yes, Dayton had told them about his grandpa dying, but because he was still smiling and carrying on as he usually does, they weren't sure if this was actually the case. Now I got to see it first hand...
Not only that, but I also realized just how delayed Dayton is... Dayton is turning ten in February, and he speaks more like a five year old, with that call it as you see it innocence. If you're a parent and remember your child as a five year old, you know exactly what I mean... "Mamma, wow! Look mamma, look!!! That guy's covered in tattoos and his hair is pink!!! Look at those chains!" He's still in that narrow window of life where he hasn't learned the art of tactfulness...
But then we got to Vancouver and got the news of grandpa Jerry's passing... Glen got the news first directly from his sister. He was beside himself, crying. Then I began to cry and couldn't stop. And then I looked over at Dayton. I was struck by his smallness... He was really just a little boy, who either a) finally understood what's happened, or b) got freaked out by his dad and his mom both crying and instead of seeing them on guard, he saw them trying to give each other comfort, reassuring each other that there's nothing they could have done differently... Who could have predicted how quickly grandpa Jerry would go... Dayton's dam of tears broke... and broke my heart further...
Autism... such misconceptions of people with autism not having feelings... and I myself almost wondered this too. My son has feelings, he just doesn't understand them as well as we do.
Considering myself hugged,
Lou
In his monotone voice used when he's not sure what's appropriate Dayton says: "I'm going to BC." Less then a minute later he says: "Because my grandpa is dying." He said it so matter of factly, like he was telling someone he's going to eat his sandwich.
If there is such a thing as a 'Stop Button' for conversations, I think that that was it right there. Astonished into speechlessness, the pilots just sat there dumbstruck. Slowly, they turned their faces away from us, mumbling something like "I'm sorry for your troubles..." I mean, what do you say to something like that?
As for me, I was struck by Dayton's way of thinking, his way of looking at things as white and black with no emotion. The sky is blue, not black... In my moment of sadness, I couldn't help but wonder if Dayton's missing a 'sensitivity chip' or something. How can he not feel? I thought back to my conversation with Dayton's school, where I was told that yes, Dayton had told them about his grandpa dying, but because he was still smiling and carrying on as he usually does, they weren't sure if this was actually the case. Now I got to see it first hand...
Not only that, but I also realized just how delayed Dayton is... Dayton is turning ten in February, and he speaks more like a five year old, with that call it as you see it innocence. If you're a parent and remember your child as a five year old, you know exactly what I mean... "Mamma, wow! Look mamma, look!!! That guy's covered in tattoos and his hair is pink!!! Look at those chains!" He's still in that narrow window of life where he hasn't learned the art of tactfulness...
But then we got to Vancouver and got the news of grandpa Jerry's passing... Glen got the news first directly from his sister. He was beside himself, crying. Then I began to cry and couldn't stop. And then I looked over at Dayton. I was struck by his smallness... He was really just a little boy, who either a) finally understood what's happened, or b) got freaked out by his dad and his mom both crying and instead of seeing them on guard, he saw them trying to give each other comfort, reassuring each other that there's nothing they could have done differently... Who could have predicted how quickly grandpa Jerry would go... Dayton's dam of tears broke... and broke my heart further...
Autism... such misconceptions of people with autism not having feelings... and I myself almost wondered this too. My son has feelings, he just doesn't understand them as well as we do.
Considering myself hugged,
Lou
Friday, 21 October 2011
A Dollar Short And A Day Late
We did not make it on time. Once we got to Vancouver, we found out that grandpa Jerry had passed away shortly after lunch. Stuck at the Vancouver airport for two hours, crying uncontrollably, all we had was each other. An elderly lady saw Dayton sobbing and feeling horrible for him, came to ask me what was wrong with my son... I explained we had lost his grandpa, and she shared with me how she had just lost her husband a month ago...
Shock does not begin to describe what we went through at the airport. I felt a sense of exhaustion that I cannot begin to put into words or describe. I just sat, held my son, rocked back and forth more for my sake than his. I just wanted to go home. I saw no point in going forth in my travels. I just wanted to go home. My facebook friends told me to be strong, to continue my travel to Campbell River as family and friends needed me. I wondered who would be there for me...
I do not wish to sound selfish when I say this, but I always end up being a care taker of others. When push comes to shove, there is no one there for me. My friends always call me when they need something, wanting something or are in trouble. When I tell them my sorrows, their eyes seem to glaze over. There are only a few friends that have never done that to me: mom Kathleen and dad Paul and another friend of mine, but the two of us have a hard time getting together in person. Speaking of Dad Paul, he is going to come to Campbell River just to be of support to the family. I know I can always count on him.
When we got to Campbell River, we drove straight to the family home as the body was waiting for us in the living room to pay our respects. I wasn't sure if I wanted Dayton to see his dead grandpa, but at the same time, I didn't have the right to make this decision for him.
Dayton was and still is a trooper. Yes, he cried, but he was not afraid to be in a room with grandpa Jerry. He doesn't mind talking about grandpa, but he is sad...
As for the long trip yesterday (eleven hours of travel), Dayton did fantastic. Hes been a good boy and very comforting.
Considering myself hugged,
Lou
Shock does not begin to describe what we went through at the airport. I felt a sense of exhaustion that I cannot begin to put into words or describe. I just sat, held my son, rocked back and forth more for my sake than his. I just wanted to go home. I saw no point in going forth in my travels. I just wanted to go home. My facebook friends told me to be strong, to continue my travel to Campbell River as family and friends needed me. I wondered who would be there for me...
I do not wish to sound selfish when I say this, but I always end up being a care taker of others. When push comes to shove, there is no one there for me. My friends always call me when they need something, wanting something or are in trouble. When I tell them my sorrows, their eyes seem to glaze over. There are only a few friends that have never done that to me: mom Kathleen and dad Paul and another friend of mine, but the two of us have a hard time getting together in person. Speaking of Dad Paul, he is going to come to Campbell River just to be of support to the family. I know I can always count on him.
When we got to Campbell River, we drove straight to the family home as the body was waiting for us in the living room to pay our respects. I wasn't sure if I wanted Dayton to see his dead grandpa, but at the same time, I didn't have the right to make this decision for him.
Dayton was and still is a trooper. Yes, he cried, but he was not afraid to be in a room with grandpa Jerry. He doesn't mind talking about grandpa, but he is sad...
As for the long trip yesterday (eleven hours of travel), Dayton did fantastic. Hes been a good boy and very comforting.
Considering myself hugged,
Lou
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
This Is It!!!
Our last day home before we head out to BC. We're flying from Winnipeg to Edmonton, then to Vancouver, then finally to Nanaimo. Flight with layover time will take 7 hours and 35 minutes. But it ain't over yet. We have to drive another two hours from Nanaimo to get to Campbell River. This gives us 9 and 1/2 hours of travel for the day.
The more I think about it, the more freaked out I'm getting. How will a kid on the autism spectrum make out on this long trip? But then I think of his aunties and their husbands traveling from Australia to be there with their father, one of the couples with an infant. 27 hours of travel with a baby can't be an easy thing either, so I really gotta pull up my big girl panties here and chill out. If they can do it, I can do it with Dayton. I just hope he gets tired and passes out, at least during our two hour car ride. I can't have Dayton be too cranky when he sees his grandpa, otherwise I'm going to have to wait an extra day to see him.
So... my plan to keep Dayton preoccupied? Let's see... thank God for the guidance counselor's interactive social story!!! I'm so going to be all over that!!! We're definitely using the books she gave us on air travel. Dayton's teacher also gave us some work to do, so I'm packing Dayton's school backpack with all of the work given to us by the school, this way he can not be bored. I'm going to bring some Uno cards to pass the time during layovers. Naturally, the iPod touch is coming with us too, as is the Nintendo DSi. I've gotta find his little MP3 player, it's around here somewhere... And I cannot forget to buy some gum, and a little wee bit of sedatives for your's truly...
Today will be spent finishing up on laundry, cleaning my home, and packing... Yey! You know I'm going to forget to pack something. There is every reason to believe I'll forget something personal, like my underwear... What did mamma say about accidents and clean underwear again?
I've got to get Dayton and I for a haircut, pick up our medication and some time tonight make time for Dayton to say goodbye to his buddies.
We're told Jerry needs help with the simplest of things, to sit up, to stretch his arms and legs, and he's lying in a hospital bed in the living room. He's surrounded by his favorite music, friends and family. Communicating has become difficult for him and exhausting. He's described by one of his daughters as kind, gentle and loving, much more so in the last few days. While he may not be able to have a long winded conversation, and may only say two to three word sentences, his sense of humor is still in tact, and his witty personality still shines through.
I do not know how much time I will have to write while in BC, but I will do my best to try.
In the mean time, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
The more I think about it, the more freaked out I'm getting. How will a kid on the autism spectrum make out on this long trip? But then I think of his aunties and their husbands traveling from Australia to be there with their father, one of the couples with an infant. 27 hours of travel with a baby can't be an easy thing either, so I really gotta pull up my big girl panties here and chill out. If they can do it, I can do it with Dayton. I just hope he gets tired and passes out, at least during our two hour car ride. I can't have Dayton be too cranky when he sees his grandpa, otherwise I'm going to have to wait an extra day to see him.
So... my plan to keep Dayton preoccupied? Let's see... thank God for the guidance counselor's interactive social story!!! I'm so going to be all over that!!! We're definitely using the books she gave us on air travel. Dayton's teacher also gave us some work to do, so I'm packing Dayton's school backpack with all of the work given to us by the school, this way he can not be bored. I'm going to bring some Uno cards to pass the time during layovers. Naturally, the iPod touch is coming with us too, as is the Nintendo DSi. I've gotta find his little MP3 player, it's around here somewhere... And I cannot forget to buy some gum, and a little wee bit of sedatives for your's truly...
Today will be spent finishing up on laundry, cleaning my home, and packing... Yey! You know I'm going to forget to pack something. There is every reason to believe I'll forget something personal, like my underwear... What did mamma say about accidents and clean underwear again?
I've got to get Dayton and I for a haircut, pick up our medication and some time tonight make time for Dayton to say goodbye to his buddies.
We're told Jerry needs help with the simplest of things, to sit up, to stretch his arms and legs, and he's lying in a hospital bed in the living room. He's surrounded by his favorite music, friends and family. Communicating has become difficult for him and exhausting. He's described by one of his daughters as kind, gentle and loving, much more so in the last few days. While he may not be able to have a long winded conversation, and may only say two to three word sentences, his sense of humor is still in tact, and his witty personality still shines through.
I do not know how much time I will have to write while in BC, but I will do my best to try.
In the mean time, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Anxiety Strikes Big Mamma
The closer we get to Thursday, the harder I chew on my gel nails. They're really starting to hurt, I need to go get them babies fixed or yanked off... I'm dreading this trip, feeling completely helpless and praying we see Dayton's grandpa in time. Please Lord, hear my prayer! We've been told to pack our funeral clothes...
It's so hard not to be selfish at a time like this. I just want more time, you know? The man's always been good to me, even when I knew he was seriously frustrated with me, especially when we played cards. He always wanted me as a partner, but Lord knows it had nothing to do with my poker face. I think he just enjoyed to see me squirm under his scrutiny. "Lou, you have a partner you know! Think about what I may have in my hand." My all time favorite: "Can you not count to fifteen girl?" Ahhh yes... He knew how to make a girl come close to tears. But underneath that tough exterior, I know that he'd give me the shirt off his back. There is a sensitive side to Jerry too. I know he loves us, never had a doubt. It breaks my heart to think I may not see him alive again. It breaks my heart to see him alive and in pain. I'm a mess...
Dayton on the other hand is doing just fine. Looking at him, you'd never know our family was going through tough times. This would be autism's blessing. His biggest concern is getting on that plane, and being bored because he doesn't know anyone there and his friends can't come with us. Neither can the cat, or his playstation. "What am I going to do forever?!" Little drama king...
Dayton's school has been super supportive. The guidance counselor sent home a couple of books on flying, and an interactive social story for Dayton to present to the class when we get back home.
Dayton's teacher sent us a huge package today, filled with books for Dayton to read, sight word cards for Dayton and I to go over, and lots of writing material to help Dayton learn how to write. She then called me after school to let me know she doesn't expect us to do all of the work (thank goodness! I just saw the package!), to do as much or as little as we can, and that we were in her thoughts during this tough time.
I finally got to see the doctor this morning, and guess what? Good news and bad. I'm not contagious, so I can visit with Jerry. Bad news is I have bronchitis and a sinus infection. Awesome... Thursday is going to be a super long day...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
It's so hard not to be selfish at a time like this. I just want more time, you know? The man's always been good to me, even when I knew he was seriously frustrated with me, especially when we played cards. He always wanted me as a partner, but Lord knows it had nothing to do with my poker face. I think he just enjoyed to see me squirm under his scrutiny. "Lou, you have a partner you know! Think about what I may have in my hand." My all time favorite: "Can you not count to fifteen girl?" Ahhh yes... He knew how to make a girl come close to tears. But underneath that tough exterior, I know that he'd give me the shirt off his back. There is a sensitive side to Jerry too. I know he loves us, never had a doubt. It breaks my heart to think I may not see him alive again. It breaks my heart to see him alive and in pain. I'm a mess...
Dayton on the other hand is doing just fine. Looking at him, you'd never know our family was going through tough times. This would be autism's blessing. His biggest concern is getting on that plane, and being bored because he doesn't know anyone there and his friends can't come with us. Neither can the cat, or his playstation. "What am I going to do forever?!" Little drama king...
Dayton's school has been super supportive. The guidance counselor sent home a couple of books on flying, and an interactive social story for Dayton to present to the class when we get back home.
Dayton's teacher sent us a huge package today, filled with books for Dayton to read, sight word cards for Dayton and I to go over, and lots of writing material to help Dayton learn how to write. She then called me after school to let me know she doesn't expect us to do all of the work (thank goodness! I just saw the package!), to do as much or as little as we can, and that we were in her thoughts during this tough time.
I finally got to see the doctor this morning, and guess what? Good news and bad. I'm not contagious, so I can visit with Jerry. Bad news is I have bronchitis and a sinus infection. Awesome... Thursday is going to be a super long day...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
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