If there's one thing that grates on my nerves, it's hearing "Oh, he looks so normal! I see nothing wrong with him... You're being too hard on him."
And then Dayton does something that hurts someone. And discipline is expected. And I don't wanna give it. And I see other kids not being disciplined for hurting my son. And I don't like it. And the other kids annoy the ever living $#@! out of me. And the kids actually look for things to get Dayton in trouble.
No, I'm not imagining things. Before Dayton got grounded, his little seven year old buddy came running in tow with another kid whining that "Dayton picked his nose and wiped his finger on his pants." Seriously?! Sitting with his mom, I looked him straight in the eye and said: "Seriously?! That's what you came to squeal on Dayton for? Get out of here!" His mom, my friend, did NOT look impressed. Oh well. I'm tired of the chihuahua barking at my heals, telling me every single time Dayton goes pee, wipes his face, or picks his nose. Enough already. Maybe I'm getting fed up with kids in general, or maybe it's the stress talking. I have been going through quite a bit of stress lately, haven't I...
Anyways... Yes, Dayton looks normal. He's a beautiful child, with blond hair and light green eyes, almost blue. Doesn't change the fact he has autism. That's why it's called a spectrum. Dayton fits on the higher functioning end of the autism spectrum (diagnosed with PDD-NOS), but less functioning than someone with aspergers syndrome. He is cognitively delayed, which means it takes Dayton twice as long to learn something, which means he's behind academically, which means he needs more help in communicating, etc...
Maybe I am a little more protective of him than the average mom. Maybe I am a little more apprehensive of letting him play outside with his friends without me being present. Maybe I am a little more anal retentive than I should be. Maybe I intervene too much with his friends in order to prevent a physical fight or melt down for Dayton.
It's even more frustrating when a friend tells me that I'm too involved with Dayton's play with his friends, or that maybe this is just who Dayton is... it's a personality "thing."
Really? A personality thing? Seriously?
I hate the term 'normal,' but here we go...
Dayton is cognitively delayed, making him academically behind his peers, yet he is normal enough to know it and feel embarrassed enough to have a melt down.
Dayton's communication skills are delayed, and he has a problem expressing his feelings to others, yet he is normal enough to know when his peers are getting annoyed with him, interrupting him constantly so he can't finish telling them what his problem is, which makes him blow up and throw a fit.
Dayton's got swag like his big mamma. We tend to trip over air, which means he's not very coordinated and he's normal enough to know that the kids are laughing at him. This makes him not want to participate in playing sports like soccer.
Dayton needs to be explained the rules to a game, or he'll make his own. If you break the rules, he freaks. And he's not "normal" enough to understand that people break rules and cheat ALL the time...
Dayton can't handle loud music, it hurts his ears! He has sensory issues that most of us don't. What would you do in order to avoid pain?
These are just five examples, there are many more. But I'm sure you get the idea.
Personality types are completely different from deficits. Just sayin. Like my personality... I'm a giver, a care taker and a fixer. I have to fix everything and everyone. If someone's sad, I have to get them to smile. I'm a people pleaser, and can't stand it when I feel someone doesn't like me. I mean come on! I'm awesome, right?! As a parent, I don't want my boy being looked upon as a trouble maker or a bad kid. That's my 'personality.' I know that sometimes I can be overbearing, and that's OK. I know as I'm doing it that it's something I can continue or should stop and I can. Dayton on the other hand has no control over his 'personality.' That's the difference.
Anyways...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Monday, 17 October 2011
Difficult Times Acknowledged By Guidance Counselor
I've been stressed with the latest developments in Dayton's grandpa's health. It seems things have turned for the worst, and rather than having months or weeks left, he now has days left... I pray we make it there in time for him to see Dayton one last time.
Trying to figure out social stories and picture schedule for Dayton and prepare him for the trip has been exhausting. I've chewed of my gel nails, have no idea how I managed that, those things are tough, and my fingers are hurting from traumatizing them.
Fortunately for me, Dayton's guidance counselor came through with her promise and has emailed me stuff she's sending home with Dayton today, cutting back on my stress level... Maybe I will have the time to go see my doctor after all! God bless her!
She's sending home a social story titled an Airplane Trip, a booklet I can use on the plane with Dayton that has three sections in it: This is me, I felt, I did..., and two story books: First Flight and Vehicles In The Air. Thank God... Dayton was worried about getting on the plane, so this should definitely be a huge help!!!
Consider yourselves hugged, and pray for us to make it there on time...
Lou
Trying to figure out social stories and picture schedule for Dayton and prepare him for the trip has been exhausting. I've chewed of my gel nails, have no idea how I managed that, those things are tough, and my fingers are hurting from traumatizing them.
Fortunately for me, Dayton's guidance counselor came through with her promise and has emailed me stuff she's sending home with Dayton today, cutting back on my stress level... Maybe I will have the time to go see my doctor after all! God bless her!
She's sending home a social story titled an Airplane Trip, a booklet I can use on the plane with Dayton that has three sections in it: This is me, I felt, I did..., and two story books: First Flight and Vehicles In The Air. Thank God... Dayton was worried about getting on the plane, so this should definitely be a huge help!!!
Consider yourselves hugged, and pray for us to make it there on time...
Lou
Saturday, 15 October 2011
Friday, 14 October 2011
Layin' The Smack Down On Their Rootie Poo Candy A...
Normally, I have no problems with Dayton's behavior at home, with the exception of a few typical boy moments that happen when playing with his buddies outside.
We live in a beautiful condo complex that is in a park like setting, with an outdoor swimming pool and two playgrounds for the kids to play on. We're surrounded by trees, shrubs, and manicured lawns. We love living here, especially since everyone is so friendly. We walk patio to patio, joining others who live here for a game of yahtzee or play cards, or simply shoot the breeze. It's such a relaxing atmosphere, and it almost feels like we're camping in cottages at a resort, minus the maid service and beach. I've thought of buying a house, but Dayton and I love living here... I don't think either one of us want to give up the friends we've made and our easy access to them. All Dayton and I need to do is walk outside into our back yard, and his friends are sure to come out within minutes. If they don't, we walk ten steps to their door step and ring the door bell. The moms hang out and have coffee while the kids play. Living here has offered us plenty of interaction with others, a huge help for Dayton to practice some 'social skills' in the natural animal kingdom outside of school.
Dayton's made three really good after school buddies, and as a result of these friendships, I've managed to make friends with two of the moms, strong friendships that I cherish very much. One of the boys is the same age as Dayton and goes to a different school, another boy is two years older at eleven years old, and the third boy is turning seven at the end of the month. With exception of the eleven year old, the rest of the boys are crazy hyper, the youngest also being a wee bit on the 'mouthy' side. Gives me an insight as to why some species eat their young... The nine year old friend has been diagnosed with ADHD, and also has had troubles in reading and writing. The shared diagnosis makes the two of them understand each other very well. The two of them also get in the same kind of trouble with the rest of the kids...
So, last night, Dayton and the boys were playing hockey outside. For some reason 'unknown' to the rest of the kids, Dayton grabbed the nine year old's hockey stick and threw it over the fence surrounding the swimming pool. Of course, the boys got angry with Dayton... Next thing I know, my boy is climbing the fence... Holly crap! Naturally, I lost my ever living mind! The pool is covered with a tarp under which there is water. He could have fallen in, and of course I would have made thing worse by jumping in to save my baby... I can't even think about it, it just makes me sick.
Screaming and yelling and freaking out, I grounded Dayton without waiting to hear his explanation. Autism or not, impulse issues or not, ADHD or not, global delays or not, I've told Dayton many, many times to never, EVER climb the fence and jump over it. He's made the attempt before and I've always caught him in the act, but last night it was a friend that caught him, not me. She called my cell phone to alert me, knowing my cell is attached to my hip at all times. Dusk was upon us, making it difficult to see...
Freaking out I grabbed his hand and dragged him home, screaming at him how grounded he was and demanding to know what he was thinking, knowing all I would get is "I don't know," his usual answer (which naturally made me even angrier). Screaming like a banshee, totally freaking out, I told him to go to his room, get ready for bed and hand over the playstation. Grabbing the playstation, I left him in his room and walked away... What I really wanted to do was lay the smack down on his rootie-poo candy a$$.
Later on I found out that the nine year old stole Dayton's hard earned cash... $10.00 to be exact. The brat took Dayton's two $5.00 bills and gave one to the seven year old. The seven year old told Dayton about this, and Dayton lost it, grabbed the brat's hockey stick and threw it over the fence into the pool court yard, knowing it was locked and they couldn't get it back. The hockey stick's owner let Dayton know that he would get in trouble, because now an adult had to unlock the lock on the door to get his hockey stick. He suggested that since Dayton threw the hockey stick, he should go and get it to avoid getting in trouble. Terrified, Dayton then risked jumping the fence to get the hockey stick.
Argh... Dayton still climbed the fence... Even though I understand now why he did it, doesn't mean he should escape punishment, does it? Grrrrrr... The danger is very real. He could die. If I don't remain firm on the grounding, he'll do it again, not learning anything from this incident.
Making things even more interesting:
"Dayton, did you confront your buddy for taking your money?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because he knew he stole from me."
"Did you tell him that YOU know that HE stole your money?"
"No."
"Dayton, does he know what made you throw his hockey stick over the fence?"
"Yes, because he stole my money."
"OK, but you said you didn't speak to him about him stealing your money."
"I didn't."
"Then how does he know what made you throw his hockey stick..."
"'Cuz he knows he stole my money!!!"
I somehow have to get it through to Dayton that he needs to use his words, not act out... Two wrongs don't make a right. Any advice out there??? I could really use some!
It's gonna be a looooong weekend...
Consider yourselves hugged, and yeah, I'm stealing one for myself too,
Lou
We live in a beautiful condo complex that is in a park like setting, with an outdoor swimming pool and two playgrounds for the kids to play on. We're surrounded by trees, shrubs, and manicured lawns. We love living here, especially since everyone is so friendly. We walk patio to patio, joining others who live here for a game of yahtzee or play cards, or simply shoot the breeze. It's such a relaxing atmosphere, and it almost feels like we're camping in cottages at a resort, minus the maid service and beach. I've thought of buying a house, but Dayton and I love living here... I don't think either one of us want to give up the friends we've made and our easy access to them. All Dayton and I need to do is walk outside into our back yard, and his friends are sure to come out within minutes. If they don't, we walk ten steps to their door step and ring the door bell. The moms hang out and have coffee while the kids play. Living here has offered us plenty of interaction with others, a huge help for Dayton to practice some 'social skills' in the natural animal kingdom outside of school.
Dayton's made three really good after school buddies, and as a result of these friendships, I've managed to make friends with two of the moms, strong friendships that I cherish very much. One of the boys is the same age as Dayton and goes to a different school, another boy is two years older at eleven years old, and the third boy is turning seven at the end of the month. With exception of the eleven year old, the rest of the boys are crazy hyper, the youngest also being a wee bit on the 'mouthy' side. Gives me an insight as to why some species eat their young... The nine year old friend has been diagnosed with ADHD, and also has had troubles in reading and writing. The shared diagnosis makes the two of them understand each other very well. The two of them also get in the same kind of trouble with the rest of the kids...
So, last night, Dayton and the boys were playing hockey outside. For some reason 'unknown' to the rest of the kids, Dayton grabbed the nine year old's hockey stick and threw it over the fence surrounding the swimming pool. Of course, the boys got angry with Dayton... Next thing I know, my boy is climbing the fence... Holly crap! Naturally, I lost my ever living mind! The pool is covered with a tarp under which there is water. He could have fallen in, and of course I would have made thing worse by jumping in to save my baby... I can't even think about it, it just makes me sick.
Screaming and yelling and freaking out, I grounded Dayton without waiting to hear his explanation. Autism or not, impulse issues or not, ADHD or not, global delays or not, I've told Dayton many, many times to never, EVER climb the fence and jump over it. He's made the attempt before and I've always caught him in the act, but last night it was a friend that caught him, not me. She called my cell phone to alert me, knowing my cell is attached to my hip at all times. Dusk was upon us, making it difficult to see...
Freaking out I grabbed his hand and dragged him home, screaming at him how grounded he was and demanding to know what he was thinking, knowing all I would get is "I don't know," his usual answer (which naturally made me even angrier). Screaming like a banshee, totally freaking out, I told him to go to his room, get ready for bed and hand over the playstation. Grabbing the playstation, I left him in his room and walked away... What I really wanted to do was lay the smack down on his rootie-poo candy a$$.
Later on I found out that the nine year old stole Dayton's hard earned cash... $10.00 to be exact. The brat took Dayton's two $5.00 bills and gave one to the seven year old. The seven year old told Dayton about this, and Dayton lost it, grabbed the brat's hockey stick and threw it over the fence into the pool court yard, knowing it was locked and they couldn't get it back. The hockey stick's owner let Dayton know that he would get in trouble, because now an adult had to unlock the lock on the door to get his hockey stick. He suggested that since Dayton threw the hockey stick, he should go and get it to avoid getting in trouble. Terrified, Dayton then risked jumping the fence to get the hockey stick.
Argh... Dayton still climbed the fence... Even though I understand now why he did it, doesn't mean he should escape punishment, does it? Grrrrrr... The danger is very real. He could die. If I don't remain firm on the grounding, he'll do it again, not learning anything from this incident.
Making things even more interesting:
"Dayton, did you confront your buddy for taking your money?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because he knew he stole from me."
"Did you tell him that YOU know that HE stole your money?"
"No."
"Dayton, does he know what made you throw his hockey stick over the fence?"
"Yes, because he stole my money."
"OK, but you said you didn't speak to him about him stealing your money."
"I didn't."
"Then how does he know what made you throw his hockey stick..."
"'Cuz he knows he stole my money!!!"
I somehow have to get it through to Dayton that he needs to use his words, not act out... Two wrongs don't make a right. Any advice out there??? I could really use some!
It's gonna be a looooong weekend...
Consider yourselves hugged, and yeah, I'm stealing one for myself too,
Lou
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Aretha Franklin, you so had it right. All I want is a little respect. Don't we all?
I can hardly believe I'm dealing with the same school as I had last year. Dayton is so much happier this year, which naturally means so am I. He's doing so much more work, and I'm not sure why this year is so much smoother than the past two years of struggle and heart ache. Don't get me wrong... we still have a very long way to go to get caught up to his peers, but we've made such wonderful progress on all fronts: behavior, compliance to work, work production, and making friends by being nice and SHARING. Holly crap. I never thought I'd see a report come home telling me how Dayton is sharing at school with others!!! Wow! I'm so pleased.
I've dreaded walking into Dayton's school in the past. We missed the bus this morning, because it's picture day, and we broke his regular routine by having me put gel in Dayton's hair, brushing it and styling it. As my neighbor says: "Oh Mylanta." Breaking Dayton's routine is like having a freaking root canal. Needless to say, there was some screaming, some "I hate you mom(s)," and some "argh's" flying about. Missing the bus meant I had to drop him off at his school... argh...
Things have changed. I tried to walk into the school unnoticed, but the principal and the guidance counselor were standing right there, in the office where I had to drop Dayton off... and they were NICE. Even the guidance counselor was nice, and this is definitely new as the two of us clash like Pepsi and Coke. We're so similar, yet so different. Both of us are stubborn and believe we know best what Dayton needs, and neither one of us cooperates with each other. But today was different.
We both smiled, both agreed on how much Dayton has improved this year and she offered her condolences for our family's tough times ahead. She then proceeded to tell me about this wonderful social story series she's found on traveling by air, and how she's purchased a computer strictly for Dayton's use. She briefly described her plans for Dayton, and how I would take pictures of our trip and she would help to teach Dayton to put all the pictures into a power point presentation to show his class his travels and his stay in BC. How awesome is this?! I am absolutely thrilled!!!
Respect. That's it in a nut shell. For the first time in two years, I felt respected by the guidance counselor, and I finally felt she had respect for my son. In turn, she has earned respect back from me. I now see her as a 'guidance' counselor, and see her guiding not only Dayton, but also me. And the time I'm going to save having her do the social stories... Priceless!
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
I can hardly believe I'm dealing with the same school as I had last year. Dayton is so much happier this year, which naturally means so am I. He's doing so much more work, and I'm not sure why this year is so much smoother than the past two years of struggle and heart ache. Don't get me wrong... we still have a very long way to go to get caught up to his peers, but we've made such wonderful progress on all fronts: behavior, compliance to work, work production, and making friends by being nice and SHARING. Holly crap. I never thought I'd see a report come home telling me how Dayton is sharing at school with others!!! Wow! I'm so pleased.
I've dreaded walking into Dayton's school in the past. We missed the bus this morning, because it's picture day, and we broke his regular routine by having me put gel in Dayton's hair, brushing it and styling it. As my neighbor says: "Oh Mylanta." Breaking Dayton's routine is like having a freaking root canal. Needless to say, there was some screaming, some "I hate you mom(s)," and some "argh's" flying about. Missing the bus meant I had to drop him off at his school... argh...
Things have changed. I tried to walk into the school unnoticed, but the principal and the guidance counselor were standing right there, in the office where I had to drop Dayton off... and they were NICE. Even the guidance counselor was nice, and this is definitely new as the two of us clash like Pepsi and Coke. We're so similar, yet so different. Both of us are stubborn and believe we know best what Dayton needs, and neither one of us cooperates with each other. But today was different.
We both smiled, both agreed on how much Dayton has improved this year and she offered her condolences for our family's tough times ahead. She then proceeded to tell me about this wonderful social story series she's found on traveling by air, and how she's purchased a computer strictly for Dayton's use. She briefly described her plans for Dayton, and how I would take pictures of our trip and she would help to teach Dayton to put all the pictures into a power point presentation to show his class his travels and his stay in BC. How awesome is this?! I am absolutely thrilled!!!
Respect. That's it in a nut shell. For the first time in two years, I felt respected by the guidance counselor, and I finally felt she had respect for my son. In turn, she has earned respect back from me. I now see her as a 'guidance' counselor, and see her guiding not only Dayton, but also me. And the time I'm going to save having her do the social stories... Priceless!
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 13 October 2011
Morning Drill By Sargent Underpants
It's one of those mornings where I have unrealistic expectations of my morning coffee, again... I AM SO TIRED!!! I'm stressed, I'm still sicker than a dog with this terrible cold (almost three weeks of coughing is enough to drive any woman insane), doing my best to help out my friend struggling with addiction, and worried about Dayton's grandpa Jerry and praying to God we make it home in time to say good bye, while still praying for a miracle. It seems my life has become much more busier than it had while teaching at the college... How does that happen?
Crawling out of bed on four hours of sleep because I've been up till 2:30 in the morning due to my ever persistent cough, I stumbled into the kitchen to make a coffee while thinking up of an excellent TV commercial for Tim Hortons: A man drives through the drive through and makes three large grunts. A happy, chirpy voice comes through the intercom: "Yes, sir, an extra large double double coming right up!" Ummmmmmmm... What I'd do for a Timmy's coffee right about now!!!
I somehow make it to my Tassimo machine with eyes closed shut, still sleeping yet awake just barely enough to find a vanilla bean coffee diskette... Ummmmmm coffee... The aroma of vanilla bean brewing makes my mouth water... and then: "Mamma! Breakfast!" Just like that, my morning romance is over.
Sleeping in is not an option in my house. Dayton gets up at 7 am, rain or shine, snow blizzard or hail, school day or not. His internal clock has no "off switch." I'm thinking the least he could do is wake up with a smile on his face and cuddle up to me, but nooooo... He's even grumpier than I am in the mornings. Maybe my vision of the Tim Horton's commercial is actually a preview of Dayton as an adult! I'm tempted to get him a double double right now!
Our mornings have evolved somewhat since toddler hood, however things are still in a rigid, self imposed schedule for Dayton on weekday mornings. For some reason he has a whole other schedule for the weekends. Mind you, so do I. I cover his window with a black blanket on the weekends, praying for an extra hour of sleep... I'm gonna have to pray harder. When we're out visiting someone over night, he's totally awesome, and when we go camping, he actually sleeps in! Why are weekdays so horrible for us (me)?!
So, our weekday morning schedule (I say our, because I am very much involved, whether or not I'm awake, sick or stressed) always begins with "Mamma, breakfast."
"Excuse me? Aren't we forgetting something?"
"Please." You'd think he'd just say it, it's the same freaking argument every morning. I bring his royal highness his cereal and his medication.
"Fairly Odd Parents mamma." He grabs the remote and switches the TV channel to YTV. I'm so sick of YTV, and if it wasn't for my coffee, I'm sure I'd have thrown the TV out the window by now.
7:30 comes around, Fairly Odd Parents is finally over, and I tell Dayton it's time for a shower.
"OK mamma, but when I'm done, if I'm still hungry, can I have some more cereal?" I don't understand why he asks this question, as we never end up having enough time, and he never asks for more cereal when he's done his shower.
"Yeah babe."
"Tell me when I've been in the shower for one minute." I don't think I'll ever understand this request either. What difference does it make? I'm tired, let's just get this done and over with... ugh! But as always, I'm too afraid to rock the boat, so I give him my usual response: "Yes babe."
"Dayton, you've been in there one minute!"
"Awwwwww."
"In about eight to nine minutes he comes out, dries off and runs into the living room naked, looking for the clothes I always have to get ready for him while he's in the shower. He gets dressed, then he watches the end of SpongeBob SquarePants, another cartoon I'd rather not have seen... Then it's time to go out and wait for the school bus.
"Dayton, get your shoes/boots on."
"Awwwww...." (I'm not kidding, EVERY MORNING!!!)
"Dayton, you put your shoes on the wrong feet! Fix it please." (I'm not kidding, EVERY MORNING!!!)
"Awwww." Seriously, every morning. Why are we not learning from these incidents?! How I wish I could just tell him to 'get ready for school,' but he wouldn't know where to start. I have to give him one instruction at a time...
"OK buddy, time to get your jacket on."
"Awwwww...." No joke.
"Put your back pack on babe. Let's roll."
"Awwwww..." Argh.
"Mamma, let's play red light, green light." How I hate this game. He doesn't play fair. I always lose and spill my coffee on myself. I do my best not to wear white shirts in the mornings.
And then I see the bus. Wooooohooooooo!!!
"Bye babe, mamma loves you!"
"Awwwww..." I'm gonna take that as I love you too mom.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Crawling out of bed on four hours of sleep because I've been up till 2:30 in the morning due to my ever persistent cough, I stumbled into the kitchen to make a coffee while thinking up of an excellent TV commercial for Tim Hortons: A man drives through the drive through and makes three large grunts. A happy, chirpy voice comes through the intercom: "Yes, sir, an extra large double double coming right up!" Ummmmmmmm... What I'd do for a Timmy's coffee right about now!!!
I somehow make it to my Tassimo machine with eyes closed shut, still sleeping yet awake just barely enough to find a vanilla bean coffee diskette... Ummmmmm coffee... The aroma of vanilla bean brewing makes my mouth water... and then: "Mamma! Breakfast!" Just like that, my morning romance is over.
Sleeping in is not an option in my house. Dayton gets up at 7 am, rain or shine, snow blizzard or hail, school day or not. His internal clock has no "off switch." I'm thinking the least he could do is wake up with a smile on his face and cuddle up to me, but nooooo... He's even grumpier than I am in the mornings. Maybe my vision of the Tim Horton's commercial is actually a preview of Dayton as an adult! I'm tempted to get him a double double right now!
Our mornings have evolved somewhat since toddler hood, however things are still in a rigid, self imposed schedule for Dayton on weekday mornings. For some reason he has a whole other schedule for the weekends. Mind you, so do I. I cover his window with a black blanket on the weekends, praying for an extra hour of sleep... I'm gonna have to pray harder. When we're out visiting someone over night, he's totally awesome, and when we go camping, he actually sleeps in! Why are weekdays so horrible for us (me)?!
So, our weekday morning schedule (I say our, because I am very much involved, whether or not I'm awake, sick or stressed) always begins with "Mamma, breakfast."
"Excuse me? Aren't we forgetting something?"
"Please." You'd think he'd just say it, it's the same freaking argument every morning. I bring his royal highness his cereal and his medication.
"Fairly Odd Parents mamma." He grabs the remote and switches the TV channel to YTV. I'm so sick of YTV, and if it wasn't for my coffee, I'm sure I'd have thrown the TV out the window by now.
7:30 comes around, Fairly Odd Parents is finally over, and I tell Dayton it's time for a shower.
"OK mamma, but when I'm done, if I'm still hungry, can I have some more cereal?" I don't understand why he asks this question, as we never end up having enough time, and he never asks for more cereal when he's done his shower.
"Yeah babe."
"Tell me when I've been in the shower for one minute." I don't think I'll ever understand this request either. What difference does it make? I'm tired, let's just get this done and over with... ugh! But as always, I'm too afraid to rock the boat, so I give him my usual response: "Yes babe."
"Dayton, you've been in there one minute!"
"Awwwwww."
"In about eight to nine minutes he comes out, dries off and runs into the living room naked, looking for the clothes I always have to get ready for him while he's in the shower. He gets dressed, then he watches the end of SpongeBob SquarePants, another cartoon I'd rather not have seen... Then it's time to go out and wait for the school bus.
"Dayton, get your shoes/boots on."
"Awwwww...." (I'm not kidding, EVERY MORNING!!!)
"Dayton, you put your shoes on the wrong feet! Fix it please." (I'm not kidding, EVERY MORNING!!!)
"Awwww." Seriously, every morning. Why are we not learning from these incidents?! How I wish I could just tell him to 'get ready for school,' but he wouldn't know where to start. I have to give him one instruction at a time...
"OK buddy, time to get your jacket on."
"Awwwww...." No joke.
"Put your back pack on babe. Let's roll."
"Awwwww..." Argh.
"Mamma, let's play red light, green light." How I hate this game. He doesn't play fair. I always lose and spill my coffee on myself. I do my best not to wear white shirts in the mornings.
And then I see the bus. Wooooohooooooo!!!
"Bye babe, mamma loves you!"
"Awwwww..." I'm gonna take that as I love you too mom.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Cancer... I Hate You
I've been busy avoiding this post for the last few weeks, but it seems I have no choice. The time has come. We're facing some difficult challenges in the next few weeks. Cancer. I hate that word.
One of my favorite people on Glen's side of the family, his father (and truth be told, Glen's dad is my favorite person on his side of the family), has been diagnosed with stage 4 adenocarcinoma of the lungs. No surgeon will operate on him, and he's lost so much weight... I'm struggling with the decision to go home (B.C, two provinces away), knowing that I'll push everyone out of the way and fight my way to him to take care of him... Upsetting everyone in my way, I'm sure. I just don't trust anyone to do it right... You know what I mean? I'm like that with everything in my life. And even though he's not my dad, I just want to do right by him. I don't want to see him suffer, and I desperately want to help him...
I've tried to discuss this with Dayton, but he's just not old enough to understand. I suppose that's a good thing. Unfortunately, I'm a little testy...
So last night, my son tells me "I'm afraid of going on an airplane mamma."
"Babe, you've been on an airplane before, many times. You loved the airplane rides!"
"I don't want to go on the plane."
"Babe, you're gonna love the plane ride, trust me."
"I said I'm not going on the plane."
"No, you said you don't want to go on the plane, and I'm telling you that we're going on the plane, you're going to have a good time flying, and I'll be right beside you."
"But what if the plane crashes?"
"Mamma's gonna wrap her arms around you, and if the plane crashes, it will hurt me, but you will survive."
"Whew. OK."
And I'm thinking "OK?" What do you mean "OK?"
"Babe, do you not care if I get hurt?"
"Yes, but I care more about me."
"Ouch."
"Only ouch for you, not for me, you promised."
Double ouch. What the hell? I'm really trying hard not to get hurt by his words, but man! Seriously?! Does he not love me at all? Ugh! He's just like his father! No, wait, I don't mean that... Is he like his father? I've got bigger problems than I thought...
So, after booking the flights, I'm gonna be busy getting picture schedules ready (thank God for the iPod touch), social stories ready to get Dayton prepared for the change of scenery and different faces, different routine, two hour time difference... what else am I forgetting? There's so much to do! These circumstances are difficult enough to deal with without the autism, I'm not sure how I'm gonna make it through this. I wish I could take my respite worker with me, but someone's got to stay behind and look after the damn cat. Ugh.
I'm going to be greedy this time, and consider myself hugged, just this once. Hope you all understand.
Lou
One of my favorite people on Glen's side of the family, his father (and truth be told, Glen's dad is my favorite person on his side of the family), has been diagnosed with stage 4 adenocarcinoma of the lungs. No surgeon will operate on him, and he's lost so much weight... I'm struggling with the decision to go home (B.C, two provinces away), knowing that I'll push everyone out of the way and fight my way to him to take care of him... Upsetting everyone in my way, I'm sure. I just don't trust anyone to do it right... You know what I mean? I'm like that with everything in my life. And even though he's not my dad, I just want to do right by him. I don't want to see him suffer, and I desperately want to help him...
I've tried to discuss this with Dayton, but he's just not old enough to understand. I suppose that's a good thing. Unfortunately, I'm a little testy...
So last night, my son tells me "I'm afraid of going on an airplane mamma."
"Babe, you've been on an airplane before, many times. You loved the airplane rides!"
"I don't want to go on the plane."
"Babe, you're gonna love the plane ride, trust me."
"I said I'm not going on the plane."
"No, you said you don't want to go on the plane, and I'm telling you that we're going on the plane, you're going to have a good time flying, and I'll be right beside you."
"But what if the plane crashes?"
"Mamma's gonna wrap her arms around you, and if the plane crashes, it will hurt me, but you will survive."
"Whew. OK."
And I'm thinking "OK?" What do you mean "OK?"
"Babe, do you not care if I get hurt?"
"Yes, but I care more about me."
"Ouch."
"Only ouch for you, not for me, you promised."
Double ouch. What the hell? I'm really trying hard not to get hurt by his words, but man! Seriously?! Does he not love me at all? Ugh! He's just like his father! No, wait, I don't mean that... Is he like his father? I've got bigger problems than I thought...
So, after booking the flights, I'm gonna be busy getting picture schedules ready (thank God for the iPod touch), social stories ready to get Dayton prepared for the change of scenery and different faces, different routine, two hour time difference... what else am I forgetting? There's so much to do! These circumstances are difficult enough to deal with without the autism, I'm not sure how I'm gonna make it through this. I wish I could take my respite worker with me, but someone's got to stay behind and look after the damn cat. Ugh.
I'm going to be greedy this time, and consider myself hugged, just this once. Hope you all understand.
Lou
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