I feel like I've regressed back to being a teenager. Never thought in a million years I'd ever live with a room mate again, and here I am... Not only am I living with a room mate, but I'm living with four children. Three boys (Dayton included), one awesome girl. Two of the four are on the spectrum. Dayton and an older, teenage version of Dayton.
I thought about living on my own, but knew that if I did, I would: a) spend more money on rent than I want to as I still want to do things with Dayton, living on our own would not give us much money to do that and with no child support coming in, every penny counts; and b) Dayton would seclude himself further and miss out on making social gains.
Living with a room mate that has a child on the autism spectrum has had its ups and downs. The up side is that I've had a taste of what co-parenting is all about, and wish Dayton's dad and I could tag team the way my room mate and I do. It's nice having two parents under one roof, even if we're both moms. And yes, while there are more children for me to co-parent than having Dayton alone, the children work together as a team in EVERYTHING. When the boys misbehave, they all misbehave. When they're good, they're all good together. So, disciplining one means I'm disciplining all as one. Same with my room mate. Raising little boys is not just a job. It's an adventure... with sound effects. And my room mate's oldest daughter... I LOVE HER!!! She's seventeen and more responsible then most adults I know. She's a blessing to share a home with, and helps with the other three kiddos, cleaning the home and she likes the same kinds of things I do. Now if I could just be her small, slender size...
On the down side, I don't have the privacy to walk around naked from the shower to my bedroom. Sometimes when I cry no one sees my tears. Sometimes when I'm happy no one sees me smile. But FART!! Just ONE time... And everybody in the house knows!
That's it for the down side.
For the first time in my life, I now know what it feels like to co-parent and I LIKE IT! I like taking the kids to school, picking them up after school and hearing about their day. I love sitting around the dinner table and having them tell me what they've learned. I like the serenity (I know, how do you achieve serenity with children, but you haven't lived my life the last few years) of everyone knowing that today we may have had a rough day, but tomorrow's another day. I love hearing laughter again. And when the meltdowns come, they don't take nearly as long to diffuse.
At the end of the day, I know everything's going to be all right. When things get rough, I just remember God's promise to take care of us, always. God loves the birds, and they don't starve, so he'll take care of Dayton and I too. As long as we have each other and God in our lives, we'll be fine.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Monday, 20 August 2012
Dude, Where's My Bed?
A lot has happened since I last posted... and I apologize for not continue blogging for this past month, but I've been a little busy packing moving and keeping my sanity. Here's what's happening now...
To say that I'm exhausted is putting it mildly. Chaos doesn't even begin to describe what my life has become this past month and a half, my summer is gone and the new school year is about to begin. Where has time gone??? To the basement, literally...
Along with the titles of mother, housekeeper, cook, chauffeur, play mate, peace keeper, entertainer and nurse, you may now give me a well deserved title of carpenter AND painter. Yeah, that's right. I helped mud and paint the walls and I didn't even cry until the very last night when I stayed up until 2 am to paint, and until 3 am because I had to drive my girl home after she helped me finish painting.
The walls are up and painted, the bunk beds for the boys are set up, and our life with room mates begins...
We live in a large house, thank goodness as there are now two mothers, a 17 year old daughter, fifteen year old son with autism and ADHD, Dayton (ten years old with PDD-NOS, ADHD, global delays, OCD and ODD) and a 9 year old son, who's sharing the basement and bunking Dayton.
To say Dayton is struggling with the changes happening in our lives is putting it mildly. Glen has left for work to another province for six weeks, and the boy is going through daddy withdrawals. While I make sure Dayton gets to talk to his dad every day, it's just not the same as being able to see him and hang out with him. Dayton's extremely hyper, unable to focus, angry, stubborn, and becoming more and more self focused every day. Life is all about him now days, and it's driving everyone around us crazy.
Rules, rules and more rules. Dayton has many rules including what game to play and when with our new room mates and then to top it all off, in the midst of a game, he has a routine to follow and the rest of the kids best follow suit or lose their heads. Even my dear Lisa who's worked with Dayton for nearly 3 months now has tried her best to explain to the kids that Dayton is not used to sharing and that even at home he would play his playstation game in his bedroom while his dad played in the living room on line with him (dad's idea, not Dayton's, one of the many reasons I've had enough of our lives and decided to move).
Even through all the chaos, there is some good news in my health. My blood pressure, without any blood pressure medication has stabilized. Wow. If I had any self doubts as to whether I've made the right decision of moving, they're all gone now. I physically feel so much better, a wee bit tired from all the work behind us, and the work looming ahead of us, but I look forward to my new life.
Another change for my new life: I start my new job today. And yes, I'm working at another Shoppers Drug Mart pharmacy... I'm a Shoppers girl, till death do us part. I love my job and the company I work for. Selling drugs legally has it's benefits :)
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
To say that I'm exhausted is putting it mildly. Chaos doesn't even begin to describe what my life has become this past month and a half, my summer is gone and the new school year is about to begin. Where has time gone??? To the basement, literally...
Along with the titles of mother, housekeeper, cook, chauffeur, play mate, peace keeper, entertainer and nurse, you may now give me a well deserved title of carpenter AND painter. Yeah, that's right. I helped mud and paint the walls and I didn't even cry until the very last night when I stayed up until 2 am to paint, and until 3 am because I had to drive my girl home after she helped me finish painting.
The walls are up and painted, the bunk beds for the boys are set up, and our life with room mates begins...
We live in a large house, thank goodness as there are now two mothers, a 17 year old daughter, fifteen year old son with autism and ADHD, Dayton (ten years old with PDD-NOS, ADHD, global delays, OCD and ODD) and a 9 year old son, who's sharing the basement and bunking Dayton.
To say Dayton is struggling with the changes happening in our lives is putting it mildly. Glen has left for work to another province for six weeks, and the boy is going through daddy withdrawals. While I make sure Dayton gets to talk to his dad every day, it's just not the same as being able to see him and hang out with him. Dayton's extremely hyper, unable to focus, angry, stubborn, and becoming more and more self focused every day. Life is all about him now days, and it's driving everyone around us crazy.
Rules, rules and more rules. Dayton has many rules including what game to play and when with our new room mates and then to top it all off, in the midst of a game, he has a routine to follow and the rest of the kids best follow suit or lose their heads. Even my dear Lisa who's worked with Dayton for nearly 3 months now has tried her best to explain to the kids that Dayton is not used to sharing and that even at home he would play his playstation game in his bedroom while his dad played in the living room on line with him (dad's idea, not Dayton's, one of the many reasons I've had enough of our lives and decided to move).
Even through all the chaos, there is some good news in my health. My blood pressure, without any blood pressure medication has stabilized. Wow. If I had any self doubts as to whether I've made the right decision of moving, they're all gone now. I physically feel so much better, a wee bit tired from all the work behind us, and the work looming ahead of us, but I look forward to my new life.
Another change for my new life: I start my new job today. And yes, I'm working at another Shoppers Drug Mart pharmacy... I'm a Shoppers girl, till death do us part. I love my job and the company I work for. Selling drugs legally has it's benefits :)
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Friday, 20 July 2012
New Beginnings
Change is rough on anyone, but add autism to the mix and you've got a world of physical and mental anguish to deal with that sometimes make you want to succumb to their wishes. Sometimes, but now always.
Dayton and I are moving out, something that's been a work in progress for a while now, but is just now coming to fruition. Naturally, neither one of us is looking forward to packing it up, but it must be done. And I'm sooooo tired...
My personal life has been very busy, and trying to please three households is a major task. I'm really looking forward to sleeping uninterrupted until 8am tomorrow... Work until 10pm, tuck Dayton into bed, go to my new place and crash until 8am... That's the plan. I can hardly wait, as just typing this simple post is making my eye lids so very, very heavy... No amount of coffee is helping, so I'm now past tired and entering to zone of exhausted.
The big move is next Friday, so I really must start packing. Pray the boxes don't disrupt Dayton too much.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Dayton and I are moving out, something that's been a work in progress for a while now, but is just now coming to fruition. Naturally, neither one of us is looking forward to packing it up, but it must be done. And I'm sooooo tired...
My personal life has been very busy, and trying to please three households is a major task. I'm really looking forward to sleeping uninterrupted until 8am tomorrow... Work until 10pm, tuck Dayton into bed, go to my new place and crash until 8am... That's the plan. I can hardly wait, as just typing this simple post is making my eye lids so very, very heavy... No amount of coffee is helping, so I'm now past tired and entering to zone of exhausted.
The big move is next Friday, so I really must start packing. Pray the boxes don't disrupt Dayton too much.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Monday, 9 July 2012
Why Do Good Things Have To Come To An End???
Chaos has consumed my life in the past two months. As you've noticed, blogging has not been a priority in the months leading to summer. Preparing a child with autism for change is hard work, and believe me, I'm working HARD.
My babe is currently putting me through an emotional roller coaster ride as I've decided that the two of us are moving. Moving is a huge deal to these kids, and I'm scared out of my mind myself.
To make matters worse, my support system is crumbling away... My favorite facebook page Autism Winnipeg is dispersing, and it feels like the end of an era. Many people I've made connections with I've made because of being involved in Autism Winnipeg. The friends I have today are all members of Autism Winnipeg, and it saddens me that our time with Autism Winnipeg has come to an end. I am so grateful for the friends I've made through this group, and feel sad for the people I could have met.
Saddest yet is the group being split three different ways...
Autism Manitoba - for parents and caregivers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/244966218954875/
Autism Winnipeg floor time and RDI:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/floortimerdi/
and finally our very own PACE branched out to make it on our own as Autism Winnipeg PACE: https://www.facebook.com/groups/462687207094107/
I really hate the idea of Autism Winnipeg splitting up into three different groups, but at least there are options for people to choose from to follow what they want or need. Autism Winnipeg floor time and RDI is quite specific, and while the group embraces everyone, its main focus is the floor time and RDI therapy.
Autism Manitoba - for parents and caregivers is a fantastic new group designed to group all of us together into one big family, and I thank Crystal for starting this group. I'm hoping it becomes what Autism Winnipeg started to be.
Autism Winnipeg PACE is Mike's (Superdad) and my own baby. It's all about the kids and parents getting together to support one another in person.
So, whatever you like, it's there for the grabbing. Any questions, feel free to contact me.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
My babe is currently putting me through an emotional roller coaster ride as I've decided that the two of us are moving. Moving is a huge deal to these kids, and I'm scared out of my mind myself.
To make matters worse, my support system is crumbling away... My favorite facebook page Autism Winnipeg is dispersing, and it feels like the end of an era. Many people I've made connections with I've made because of being involved in Autism Winnipeg. The friends I have today are all members of Autism Winnipeg, and it saddens me that our time with Autism Winnipeg has come to an end. I am so grateful for the friends I've made through this group, and feel sad for the people I could have met.
Saddest yet is the group being split three different ways...
Autism Manitoba - for parents and caregivers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/244966218954875/
Autism Winnipeg floor time and RDI:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/floortimerdi/
and finally our very own PACE branched out to make it on our own as Autism Winnipeg PACE: https://www.facebook.com/groups/462687207094107/
I really hate the idea of Autism Winnipeg splitting up into three different groups, but at least there are options for people to choose from to follow what they want or need. Autism Winnipeg floor time and RDI is quite specific, and while the group embraces everyone, its main focus is the floor time and RDI therapy.
Autism Manitoba - for parents and caregivers is a fantastic new group designed to group all of us together into one big family, and I thank Crystal for starting this group. I'm hoping it becomes what Autism Winnipeg started to be.
Autism Winnipeg PACE is Mike's (Superdad) and my own baby. It's all about the kids and parents getting together to support one another in person.
So, whatever you like, it's there for the grabbing. Any questions, feel free to contact me.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Monday, 18 June 2012
The Dreaded IEP Meetings
It's that time of the year again, the time when parents are called to the school to review their child's progress and talk about expectations for the new school year in September.
This year is different for me. Regardless of what the staff thinks of me, my boy's done good this year, thanks to a wonderful teacher who actually cares about him and his education. It wasn't always this way.
At one time (until last year, from grade one until grade three), education had become an "us" (parents) versus "them" (teachers, guidance cousnellors and principals). How did this happen? Why did this happen? Did we not have the same goal here, that is to teach my son how to become a productive member of society? And how is a parent supposed to feel comfortable during meetings when it feels like the school staff are the probation officers and you and your child are petty criminals? How do both parties come up with an amicable resolution to your child's education when there's this underlying perception that it is you, the parent, that are the cause of your child's behaviour?
Having had a break from feeling like a criminal this past year, as well as having the chance to meet some really wonderful EA's this past year, I now wonder how teachers feel... Teachers and educational assistants who are percieved by the parents to be the cause of the child's behavioral issues? Our pride rears its ugly head and denies, denies and denies that our child could possibly be what they describe. My most famous comment to teachers is "wow, are you sure you're describing my babe? I mean, he sure doesn't behave like that at home..."
It seems in the chaos we all forget that the child is a person of his own. Yes, the child learns things by observing parental behavior, but he/she also learns from teacher behavior as well as their classmates from school. I think that at this point in Dayton's life, he is more likely to learn most of his behviours from he classmates then us adults. It's no longer cool to look up to us old folk.
So, to recap the year for Dayton: He's made some great progress, especially when it comes to controlling his impulses to strike out at people who 'annoy' him. Dayton's been using his words much more affectively rather than his fists. Thank heavens!!!
The meeting was friendly, with no digs towards my parenting, which was awesome! All of us were smiling and focused on Dayton's strengths. While Dayton didn't meet all of his goals on his Individual Education Plan (IEP), we didn't get all gloomy about it.
The only part that made me sad and apprehensive is Dayton's grade level... While he will be heading into grade five next September, my babe is intellectually sitting at a grade one level... Make that beginning grade one level. While I've always worried about my son, I'm terrified now. What does this mean for his future? Was I wrong? Was I in denial believing my son will be a contributing member of society? I'm scared.
As my dad Paul always says, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
This year is different for me. Regardless of what the staff thinks of me, my boy's done good this year, thanks to a wonderful teacher who actually cares about him and his education. It wasn't always this way.
At one time (until last year, from grade one until grade three), education had become an "us" (parents) versus "them" (teachers, guidance cousnellors and principals). How did this happen? Why did this happen? Did we not have the same goal here, that is to teach my son how to become a productive member of society? And how is a parent supposed to feel comfortable during meetings when it feels like the school staff are the probation officers and you and your child are petty criminals? How do both parties come up with an amicable resolution to your child's education when there's this underlying perception that it is you, the parent, that are the cause of your child's behaviour?
Having had a break from feeling like a criminal this past year, as well as having the chance to meet some really wonderful EA's this past year, I now wonder how teachers feel... Teachers and educational assistants who are percieved by the parents to be the cause of the child's behavioral issues? Our pride rears its ugly head and denies, denies and denies that our child could possibly be what they describe. My most famous comment to teachers is "wow, are you sure you're describing my babe? I mean, he sure doesn't behave like that at home..."
It seems in the chaos we all forget that the child is a person of his own. Yes, the child learns things by observing parental behavior, but he/she also learns from teacher behavior as well as their classmates from school. I think that at this point in Dayton's life, he is more likely to learn most of his behviours from he classmates then us adults. It's no longer cool to look up to us old folk.
So, to recap the year for Dayton: He's made some great progress, especially when it comes to controlling his impulses to strike out at people who 'annoy' him. Dayton's been using his words much more affectively rather than his fists. Thank heavens!!!
The meeting was friendly, with no digs towards my parenting, which was awesome! All of us were smiling and focused on Dayton's strengths. While Dayton didn't meet all of his goals on his Individual Education Plan (IEP), we didn't get all gloomy about it.
The only part that made me sad and apprehensive is Dayton's grade level... While he will be heading into grade five next September, my babe is intellectually sitting at a grade one level... Make that beginning grade one level. While I've always worried about my son, I'm terrified now. What does this mean for his future? Was I wrong? Was I in denial believing my son will be a contributing member of society? I'm scared.
As my dad Paul always says, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 14 June 2012
Life's Just Too Short
This post has nothing to do about autism.
I've had a rough week, both professionally and personally. One of my favourite patients passed away, after just recently re-marrying. He was 43 years old, and talking to his wife, something she said really hit home for me...
"After 14 years of being married to an asshole, I finally found the right man. And now he's gone."
Later, I found out my co-worker's 21 year old sister in law was killed in a car crash. The wedding took place last summer. I feel horrible for the family... No one should lose someone so young...
21 years old. Seems like a life time ago for me. 43...
And so I think of my life.
I've had two major surgeries: a hysterectomy and a bilateral mastectomy to ensure I live past the age of 35. I'm a wee bit older than that, no need to worry about my age, but it's always been in the back of my mind to be grateful for the extension of my life.
Today, I'm thinking about how to spend the extra years... have I truly been happy with my life? Is there anything I can do to make it better? Healthier for both Dayton and I? Happier?
The answer is a resounding YES!!! But change is scary, and there are no guarantees starting something new. The unknown is a scary place to be. Not knowing expectations and boundaries, afraid of 'messing up.' I've never been one to take a chance or a risk. I am a creature of habit, comfortable in knowing how my day looks like ahead, even though I know I won't be happy with it.
That is coming to an end. I will no longer walk on eggshells. I will do as I please and laugh when I want to laugh. That is not to say that I'm going to become a complete jerk. I'm not about to go out and blurt whatever's on my mind and tell people they need a hair cut or a change in stylists. I am not a cruel person.
I'm done pretending for other's happiness. I'm moving on with my life, and taking risks and chances along the way. I'm going to be happy, and share my happiness with people I care about. And for those that have hurt me, I'm no longer willing to bend over backwards for their happiness.
Marilyn Monroe said it best: "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!" Totally sounds like me and where I am at this point in my life.
Anyways, if you're worried you're on my black list, here's a simple way to know where I've placed you on my priority list: The only people who matter to me are those who treat me like I matter to them. I think that's fair, wouldn't you agree?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
I've had a rough week, both professionally and personally. One of my favourite patients passed away, after just recently re-marrying. He was 43 years old, and talking to his wife, something she said really hit home for me...
"After 14 years of being married to an asshole, I finally found the right man. And now he's gone."
Later, I found out my co-worker's 21 year old sister in law was killed in a car crash. The wedding took place last summer. I feel horrible for the family... No one should lose someone so young...
21 years old. Seems like a life time ago for me. 43...
And so I think of my life.
I've had two major surgeries: a hysterectomy and a bilateral mastectomy to ensure I live past the age of 35. I'm a wee bit older than that, no need to worry about my age, but it's always been in the back of my mind to be grateful for the extension of my life.
Today, I'm thinking about how to spend the extra years... have I truly been happy with my life? Is there anything I can do to make it better? Healthier for both Dayton and I? Happier?
The answer is a resounding YES!!! But change is scary, and there are no guarantees starting something new. The unknown is a scary place to be. Not knowing expectations and boundaries, afraid of 'messing up.' I've never been one to take a chance or a risk. I am a creature of habit, comfortable in knowing how my day looks like ahead, even though I know I won't be happy with it.
That is coming to an end. I will no longer walk on eggshells. I will do as I please and laugh when I want to laugh. That is not to say that I'm going to become a complete jerk. I'm not about to go out and blurt whatever's on my mind and tell people they need a hair cut or a change in stylists. I am not a cruel person.
I'm done pretending for other's happiness. I'm moving on with my life, and taking risks and chances along the way. I'm going to be happy, and share my happiness with people I care about. And for those that have hurt me, I'm no longer willing to bend over backwards for their happiness.
Marilyn Monroe said it best: "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best!" Totally sounds like me and where I am at this point in my life.
Anyways, if you're worried you're on my black list, here's a simple way to know where I've placed you on my priority list: The only people who matter to me are those who treat me like I matter to them. I think that's fair, wouldn't you agree?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Monday, 4 June 2012
Like An Autism Mom's Plate Ain't Full Enough
It doesn't seem to matter what your age is, some people just never grow up. Sure, they grow taller, as Dayton's dad seems to remind me when I tell him to grow up (he always points to his height and tells me he's more grown up then I am, yes, I'm height challenged). But I'm here to tell you that just isn't the same.
Someone messaged me on facebook, telling me how an educational assistant at Dayton's school has told people that my son is a "Curse" on his school. While I have mentioned Dayton's name more than once on Autism Diva Help, I have never mentioned the school name or anyone who works there by name. This person was able to name the school and one of the educational assistant's name, in fact the same educational assistant who hurt Dayton last year by bending his thumb back harshly in order to get an item out of his hand... So, naturally, I paid attention to this message and even put up a message on Autism Diva Help to have this person contact me again.
Here are his/her messages to me:
Message number 1: Hi Mrs. Lovrin. I think you would like to know this, and as a parent myself I would want to know. There are teachers and EA's at ****** School that talk about you and your son outside of school, and in inappropriate manner. I called the school as a concerned parent to complain, but also thought you should know this. Ms.******** and other teachers that work and have worked with your son do this. It should stop! It disturbs me that this goes on, the maturity level of these people that are suppose to show and teach our young. Never mind how much of a confident breach it is. Sorry to tell you this, but you probably already thought it went on. I am confirming it does.
Message number 2: I emailed you in shock about what I was hearing said about your son at ******** school. And as far as I can tell you have not done anything about it. I heard some more terrible things today from an EA Ms. ********** about your son and how much of "A Curse" he is to have in the school. And there were people around. How can we have EAs and teacher think, and speak about kids so wrongfully. I have called the school about this and they have not done anything. I am hoping you do!
Did you know that facebook has two different places to check messages? Yup, I now check both places for messages every day. The first message was sent to me in Feb, the next in March. I didn't read the messages until MAY!!! So I message this informant back, explaining that I'm just not as facebook savy as I once thought I was and to please contact me... Her/His response, message number 3:
Hi again,
My apologies on the delay this time. I have been away from Facebook. I just seen your blog today. I do not have any more information to tell you, other than what I have already said. The rest is up to you to follow up on. It must be tough in your shoes. I feel for you, and these kind of people who feel they have to belittle the mentally challenged and socially weak. To me this is a kind of bullying in the worst form, something the schools are against. This is why I feel as though I had to inform you about what I know. I am sure you can pick out the handful plus a few who have spoken badly about you and your son behind your backs and in very inappropriate manners. I do not feel I am close enough to the situation to be directly involved, I have enough on my plate as I'm sure you would appreciate. I wish I could help you more. If I hear of anything else, you would be the first to know.
Please keep me and your other blog fans informed on how things turn out. You seem like a very nice woman with a lot on your plate. Keep in touch.
My response: I would like to know who the other teachers are, and WHERE they were discussing my son. I have called the school, and the principal says that he has already dealt with the situation, telling me that you and Ms. ******** have a 'private' issue and that this is why you called the school, to get even with her. So... without further information, they are not going to do anything.
Message number 4: Ms. ***** ****is the only one whose name I know. The others I do not. I do not have any issues with anyone, I do have issues with teachers slandering students. Especially students who are mentally ill. Can I ask you this Mrs. Lovrin? Whatever my situation is with Ms. ************* or anyone, why do I even know THESE things at all? That is inappropriate in itself. I should not have had to say anything other than what I said in the original email to you, and the phone call I made to the school. They should be doing something about this, it is a shameful response from the principal to chalk this serious situation up to a "personal issue". I personally would not want my families issues flaunted around a public school. By the STAFF! Maybe you have to take this up with your Superintendent? Local MP?. I would try the school division first. This is a sad situation. Like I said good luck!
Soooo...
If this is someone trying to get back at Ms. ***********, then who am I to falsely accuse anyone of something as horrendous as bullying a child with autism? I will agree with the writer of these messages on one point... Confidentiality HAS been breached, in a BIG way. There's no way for this person to know where my son attends school or any private family issues that are circulating around the school as well as outside of the school. I can not ignore that. Even if this person has an issue with Ms ****** and is somehow trying to get even with this EA, it is obvious that this EA has been talking about Dayton and I.
I do have a message for this EA: UNDERSTAND THIS: Say what you want about me, I'm an adult and can certainly handle your level of immaturity... But, say the wrong thing TO or ABOUT my child (this goes for ANYONE that disrespects my babe) and you'd better sleep with your eyes open. You think my son is a curse in your school... Lady, you don't know what a curse is! Try having what are supposed to be mature, caring adults trying to make you go crazy, pushing your buttons until you go postal... That's a curse, and you've imposed it on me. Maybe I should have done more last year when you hurt my babe, but I let it go as people make mistakes and get frustrated. Dayton wasn't very hurt, so no harm done, but do not mistake my kindness for weakness. That is your curse my dear. The old Lou, the one who bent over backwards for y'all is gone. She's been replaced with a new me. One that doesn't cry when you hurt her feelings, but fights back. There's a curse for ya!
So. If you have any information on what's happening or have any ideas as to how to come to the truth of the matter, please email me or facebook message me. Your thought, prayers, weapons and advice is very much appreciated.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Someone messaged me on facebook, telling me how an educational assistant at Dayton's school has told people that my son is a "Curse" on his school. While I have mentioned Dayton's name more than once on Autism Diva Help, I have never mentioned the school name or anyone who works there by name. This person was able to name the school and one of the educational assistant's name, in fact the same educational assistant who hurt Dayton last year by bending his thumb back harshly in order to get an item out of his hand... So, naturally, I paid attention to this message and even put up a message on Autism Diva Help to have this person contact me again.
Here are his/her messages to me:
Message number 1: Hi Mrs. Lovrin. I think you would like to know this, and as a parent myself I would want to know. There are teachers and EA's at ****** School that talk about you and your son outside of school, and in inappropriate manner. I called the school as a concerned parent to complain, but also thought you should know this. Ms.******** and other teachers that work and have worked with your son do this. It should stop! It disturbs me that this goes on, the maturity level of these people that are suppose to show and teach our young. Never mind how much of a confident breach it is. Sorry to tell you this, but you probably already thought it went on. I am confirming it does.
Message number 2: I emailed you in shock about what I was hearing said about your son at ******** school. And as far as I can tell you have not done anything about it. I heard some more terrible things today from an EA Ms. ********** about your son and how much of "A Curse" he is to have in the school. And there were people around. How can we have EAs and teacher think, and speak about kids so wrongfully. I have called the school about this and they have not done anything. I am hoping you do!
Did you know that facebook has two different places to check messages? Yup, I now check both places for messages every day. The first message was sent to me in Feb, the next in March. I didn't read the messages until MAY!!! So I message this informant back, explaining that I'm just not as facebook savy as I once thought I was and to please contact me... Her/His response, message number 3:
Hi again,
My apologies on the delay this time. I have been away from Facebook. I just seen your blog today. I do not have any more information to tell you, other than what I have already said. The rest is up to you to follow up on. It must be tough in your shoes. I feel for you, and these kind of people who feel they have to belittle the mentally challenged and socially weak. To me this is a kind of bullying in the worst form, something the schools are against. This is why I feel as though I had to inform you about what I know. I am sure you can pick out the handful plus a few who have spoken badly about you and your son behind your backs and in very inappropriate manners. I do not feel I am close enough to the situation to be directly involved, I have enough on my plate as I'm sure you would appreciate. I wish I could help you more. If I hear of anything else, you would be the first to know.
Please keep me and your other blog fans informed on how things turn out. You seem like a very nice woman with a lot on your plate. Keep in touch.
My response: I would like to know who the other teachers are, and WHERE they were discussing my son. I have called the school, and the principal says that he has already dealt with the situation, telling me that you and Ms. ******** have a 'private' issue and that this is why you called the school, to get even with her. So... without further information, they are not going to do anything.
Message number 4: Ms. ***** ****is the only one whose name I know. The others I do not. I do not have any issues with anyone, I do have issues with teachers slandering students. Especially students who are mentally ill. Can I ask you this Mrs. Lovrin? Whatever my situation is with Ms. ************* or anyone, why do I even know THESE things at all? That is inappropriate in itself. I should not have had to say anything other than what I said in the original email to you, and the phone call I made to the school. They should be doing something about this, it is a shameful response from the principal to chalk this serious situation up to a "personal issue". I personally would not want my families issues flaunted around a public school. By the STAFF! Maybe you have to take this up with your Superintendent? Local MP?. I would try the school division first. This is a sad situation. Like I said good luck!
Soooo...
If this is someone trying to get back at Ms. ***********, then who am I to falsely accuse anyone of something as horrendous as bullying a child with autism? I will agree with the writer of these messages on one point... Confidentiality HAS been breached, in a BIG way. There's no way for this person to know where my son attends school or any private family issues that are circulating around the school as well as outside of the school. I can not ignore that. Even if this person has an issue with Ms ****** and is somehow trying to get even with this EA, it is obvious that this EA has been talking about Dayton and I.
I do have a message for this EA: UNDERSTAND THIS: Say what you want about me, I'm an adult and can certainly handle your level of immaturity... But, say the wrong thing TO or ABOUT my child (this goes for ANYONE that disrespects my babe) and you'd better sleep with your eyes open. You think my son is a curse in your school... Lady, you don't know what a curse is! Try having what are supposed to be mature, caring adults trying to make you go crazy, pushing your buttons until you go postal... That's a curse, and you've imposed it on me. Maybe I should have done more last year when you hurt my babe, but I let it go as people make mistakes and get frustrated. Dayton wasn't very hurt, so no harm done, but do not mistake my kindness for weakness. That is your curse my dear. The old Lou, the one who bent over backwards for y'all is gone. She's been replaced with a new me. One that doesn't cry when you hurt her feelings, but fights back. There's a curse for ya!
So. If you have any information on what's happening or have any ideas as to how to come to the truth of the matter, please email me or facebook message me. Your thought, prayers, weapons and advice is very much appreciated.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)