I have been accused of being arrogant because I am the author of Autism Diva Help, therefore I consider myself an "expert" on autism. This accusation made me doubt myself and made me take a long, serious look at what I have accomplished through Autism Diva Help. Through many nights of prayer, I've come to the conclusion... drum roll please... As long as my children, friends, family, fellow autism parents and Mike and of course I know who I am, others' opinions are just background noise. And so, I will continue my work.
Not that most of you need me to clarify this, but I will for those who think me to be arrogant enough to believe I am an expert in autism... I AM NOT AN EXPERT IN AUTISM. Autism Diva Help is about MY life and the lives of autism parents who have shared THEIR experiences with me. Autism Diva Help exists for those who believe they are all alone and need to see that others like myself may be living with the same concerns for their children. It is my diary of research into schools and school divisions. I've met a number of people through Autism Diva Help that I would never had the chance to meet without my work. While I consider all of the people I've met through Autism Diva Help of great importance in my life, the most significant person I've met through my work is Mike. He's changed my life, showed me that I am worthy of love and respect and that I deserve to be treated like a princess, even on days where I am not at my best. And then there are the kids. I am now a mother figure to five children. I see the miracles of God every day when I look at my beautiful, talented children, and every day, I am blessed. I truly am blessed to be called "mom." I have the most wonderful children, they are my heart, my soul and my life.
An expert in autism... Is there such a person? Even professionals with their diplomas and decades of education and experience agree that if you meet one child with autism, you've done just that. You've met A child with autism. Autism is a Spectrum Disorder, it is a very large spectrum. No two children or adults with autism are the same. While they share similarities, they have different challenges. And while there are no 'experts' on autism, there are 'experts' on YOUR children. That expert is YOU. No one knows your child the way you know them, and the same goes for myself. I know my children, and I love them very much. There is little I wouldn't do for them. As their "mom," I also have a responsibility towards them, as do you to your children.
As dad (Paul) has taught me, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou and family
Thursday, 4 July 2013
Friday, 24 May 2013
A School Division Is Only As Good As Their Weakest Teachers
Dayton has started a new school starting April 1st. We now live in the Seven Oaks School Division, and all I can say is WOW!!!
I'm not really sure what the deal is, it's either
a.) they know Mike (with 5 kids, 3 on the autism spectrum, everyone knows Mike... During Dayton's transition to another school meeting, everyone from the Seven Oaks School Division as well as the principal from the school Dayton will be attending in his middle years said "oh yes, we know the family well," and smiled a warm welcome; or
b.) they're amazingly awesome!!!
Either way, I'm tickled pink. Dayton's having really great days at school, coming home happy and smiling and when it's his turn at the dinner table to tell us about his favorite part of the day, he tells us "everything about today was awesome!" I LOVE IT!!!
Dayton LOVES his teacher. The relaxed atmosphere and laid back disposition of the school principal and his staff is so much different than what we've experienced in the past with school division 1, Louis Riel and school division 2. Dayton is thriving, and actually LEARNING! I'm absolutely amazed! The last school Dayton attended physically removed him from Social Studies as they didn't think Dayton would understand the subject and worked on his IEP goals, and this new school includes him, and he's LEARNING!!!
For example, during dinner time, I ask all of the kids to tell me about their favorite part of the day, as well as what they've learned 'today' they didn't know 'yesterday.' Dayton starts telling me about the talking circle he learned about at social studies. "Momma, did you know how the talking circle started?" I'm dumbfounded. What the heck is a talking circle, but rather than looking dumb and admitting to my son that I had no clue what he was talking about (although I think my chin dropping to the kitchen table didn't help in convincing him otherwise), I just asked him to explain what he learned. "When there was an 'issue' (holy crap, my son said issue...) or a problem, people would gather (yes, he used the word gather!!!) around in a circle, sit down and talk about it and come up with ideas how to fix the problem."
"Wow Dayton, that's great!"
"I know!"
On another occasion, Mr. Dayton was writing out math questions and answering them!!! No joke, true story! I was especially blown away when he came to me with his notebook and asked me to write a few math questions, especially some subtraction questions, which he wasn't able to do without manipulations in the past. Not only did he answer them correctly, but he solved them in his head or used his fingers!
I have received ZERO phone calls from Dayton's new school about bad behavior. In fact, after a rather difficult counseling session in which Dayton had a major meltdown about his biological father hurting him by lying to him a few times (I really wish Dayton would move past this issue with his dad... I keep trying to explain to him that forgiving his dad would actually help him too, not just his dad, but he won't listen to me), I stopped to speak to the principal. Explaining to him that Dayton may have a rough day at school and that he can call me on my cell phone if I wasn't home as I had the day off, he told me that they already have a game plan for Dayton that's worked for Dayton and not to worry. "A game plan? You mean he's had rough days?"
"I wouldn't call them rough, but he's had to leave the class room to settle down, and it's been dealt with here and I didn't think you needed to worry about it. We're more than happy to help him when he needs it, and he's more than happy to comply with our game plan."
Say what? Have I walked through some twilight zone? WOW!!!
Dayton has also learned how to cook as he likes to watch his teacher cook breakfast in the morning??? This is no joke - the boy is so good at cooking that he is now in charge of cooking our Saturday morning breakfast! The whole family looks forward to Saturday morning breakfast by Dayton, but I refuse to give up our Sunday morning french toast... That's my time!
A mother's treasure are her children. They are the gleam in her eye, the beat of her heart and the warmth of her breath. To her, they are her everything, and seeing all my kids go to school where they are truly including all of my babies, not just cosmetically, but genuinely including them, is the best feeling of all. My babies are being treated with respect and dignity. They are happy, and that's all that matters to this proud momma.
Unfortunately, it's taken me six years to get here, to finally find a school division I can trust with my babies. We are not all this fortunate. Stay tuned for my next blog piece about a father and his two sons, coming from another school division where the school actually had police waiting for him to come and pick up his children, and an officer escort them out of the school...
In the mean time, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
I'm not really sure what the deal is, it's either
a.) they know Mike (with 5 kids, 3 on the autism spectrum, everyone knows Mike... During Dayton's transition to another school meeting, everyone from the Seven Oaks School Division as well as the principal from the school Dayton will be attending in his middle years said "oh yes, we know the family well," and smiled a warm welcome; or
b.) they're amazingly awesome!!!
Either way, I'm tickled pink. Dayton's having really great days at school, coming home happy and smiling and when it's his turn at the dinner table to tell us about his favorite part of the day, he tells us "everything about today was awesome!" I LOVE IT!!!
Dayton LOVES his teacher. The relaxed atmosphere and laid back disposition of the school principal and his staff is so much different than what we've experienced in the past with school division 1, Louis Riel and school division 2. Dayton is thriving, and actually LEARNING! I'm absolutely amazed! The last school Dayton attended physically removed him from Social Studies as they didn't think Dayton would understand the subject and worked on his IEP goals, and this new school includes him, and he's LEARNING!!!
For example, during dinner time, I ask all of the kids to tell me about their favorite part of the day, as well as what they've learned 'today' they didn't know 'yesterday.' Dayton starts telling me about the talking circle he learned about at social studies. "Momma, did you know how the talking circle started?" I'm dumbfounded. What the heck is a talking circle, but rather than looking dumb and admitting to my son that I had no clue what he was talking about (although I think my chin dropping to the kitchen table didn't help in convincing him otherwise), I just asked him to explain what he learned. "When there was an 'issue' (holy crap, my son said issue...) or a problem, people would gather (yes, he used the word gather!!!) around in a circle, sit down and talk about it and come up with ideas how to fix the problem."
"Wow Dayton, that's great!"
"I know!"
On another occasion, Mr. Dayton was writing out math questions and answering them!!! No joke, true story! I was especially blown away when he came to me with his notebook and asked me to write a few math questions, especially some subtraction questions, which he wasn't able to do without manipulations in the past. Not only did he answer them correctly, but he solved them in his head or used his fingers!
I have received ZERO phone calls from Dayton's new school about bad behavior. In fact, after a rather difficult counseling session in which Dayton had a major meltdown about his biological father hurting him by lying to him a few times (I really wish Dayton would move past this issue with his dad... I keep trying to explain to him that forgiving his dad would actually help him too, not just his dad, but he won't listen to me), I stopped to speak to the principal. Explaining to him that Dayton may have a rough day at school and that he can call me on my cell phone if I wasn't home as I had the day off, he told me that they already have a game plan for Dayton that's worked for Dayton and not to worry. "A game plan? You mean he's had rough days?"
"I wouldn't call them rough, but he's had to leave the class room to settle down, and it's been dealt with here and I didn't think you needed to worry about it. We're more than happy to help him when he needs it, and he's more than happy to comply with our game plan."
Say what? Have I walked through some twilight zone? WOW!!!
Dayton has also learned how to cook as he likes to watch his teacher cook breakfast in the morning??? This is no joke - the boy is so good at cooking that he is now in charge of cooking our Saturday morning breakfast! The whole family looks forward to Saturday morning breakfast by Dayton, but I refuse to give up our Sunday morning french toast... That's my time!
A mother's treasure are her children. They are the gleam in her eye, the beat of her heart and the warmth of her breath. To her, they are her everything, and seeing all my kids go to school where they are truly including all of my babies, not just cosmetically, but genuinely including them, is the best feeling of all. My babies are being treated with respect and dignity. They are happy, and that's all that matters to this proud momma.
Unfortunately, it's taken me six years to get here, to finally find a school division I can trust with my babies. We are not all this fortunate. Stay tuned for my next blog piece about a father and his two sons, coming from another school division where the school actually had police waiting for him to come and pick up his children, and an officer escort them out of the school...
In the mean time, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Saturday, 6 April 2013
WE DID IT!!! THE FIRST EVER, ANNUAL WORLD AUTISM AWARENESS WALK!!!
One of my dreams has finally come to life. An autism walk in Winnipeg, with a rally in front of the Legislature Building. Until last year, my dream was to have my son Dayton beside me, and as you know, my family has grown, by many, many more children. So my dream came true, with not only Dayton, but with Katie, Amber, Athena and John. Ashley (My 18 year old, Asperger's, OCD, anxiety disorder, ADHD) couldn't be there with us, she was the one missing piece of our family's puzzle, but the rest of the attendees more than made up for her absence with sheer numbers and amazing energy! And let's not forget about Mike, my better half in every way. He was waiting for us at the end of our walk, organizing the speakers and band.
It is a blessing to be in a relationship where my goals and dreams are the same as my spouse's. Something I need to get used to though (and it won't take long, human nature won't allow it), is to have someone care about me so much, that he makes decisions based on whether or not he thinks I'm ready for it... At first, I thought Mike was treating me as a child, but upon further reflection, I realized that he was actually 'protecting' me! I'm not accustomed to someone taking care of me at all, and between you and I, I really, really like it. And when he thinks I can do something, and really believes in me, he fully supports me and does everything in his power to help me accomplish my goal. Especially if that goal mirrors his own... On April 2nd, 2013, the world celebrated the 6th annual World Autism Awareness Day, and this was the first year that Canada has recognized the day as such. Finally!
I really wanted to be a part of this day... And Mike agreed. He wanted the same. And while I'm not sure if Mike deemed me ready for this or if our vision was in sync, I am happy that we were involved.
And then, my friend Arlene... While she's not nearly as protective of me as Mike, in fact, I'm certain that during the planning stages of the walk she was prepared to throw me under a bus, our goals were in sync. She worked very hard to make this walk a success. This walk would not have been possible without all of our joint efforts.
Anne Fountain's speech made me cry. It took me a while to get my wits together after hearing her speech for the first time. She is an amazing woman, a woman I respect and who's opinions I value very much. Even when it comes to my personal life, I call for her advice. God has given her the gift of wisdom, and she shares her wisdom with those who need it the most. Here is the link to her own blog and the wisdom she shared with us the night of our walk. WARNING... You will need a box of tissues before opening this link:
And so, the autism walk! Not only did my dream come true, but it was a huge success!!! I expected an attendance of maybe 50 people if we were super lucky... Our numbers were so much more! Thanks to Anthony Mark Schellenberg of Anthony Mark Photography, I can show you the story of our First Annual Autism Awareness Walk. WARNING... Tony's work is absolutely AMAZING! He is an artist, who shows a story through his pictures. The pictures you are about to see are beautiful, so make sure you have a box of kleenex beside you before you begin!!!
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| Our walk banner made exclusively by Arlene |
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| Arlene and I carrying the banner with my daughter Katie (14 years old, autism, ADHD, GDD). I LOVE this couple that joined us at the front, namely their enthusiasm and energy!!! Wish I knew who they are |
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| Some brought friends along. What a beautiful sight! |
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| Anne with her son |
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| Arlene gathering the participants to get ready to begin the walk |
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| Me, freaking out to Mike about the enormous turn out of people, Mike calming me down at his booth of information and jewelry |
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| The live band waiting for us at the legislature building, our final destination |
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| My Mike... The master of ceremonies |
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| Arlene happy to hold her baby boy after the walk |
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| Anne making her wonderful speech |
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| Arlene celebrating the end of our 35 minute walk from the Forks to the Legislature building... Wait a minute... That is NOT her husband... Arlene, you have some explaining to do!!! |
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| My son Dayton (11 years old, PDD-NOS, ADHD, OCD, ODD, GDD), somewhat relieved and tired after the walk was over |
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| Johnny, my 5 year old |
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| Mike and my 5 year old Athena |
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| The live band: Beggars Brawl |
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| One of my favourite families I don't see often enough |
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| Arlene's family |
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| Some brought their own posters to wear |
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| The founder of Autism Manitoba - for parents and caregivers. Link to her facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/244966218954875/ |
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| Ian McArton, Athlete Development Manager of Special Olympics Manitoba making his speech |
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| A beautiful symbol of unity... I'd recognize that ring anywhere... Love it! |
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| Our entrance to the Legislature Building!!! We did it!!! |
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| My daughter Amber (12 years old, PDD-NOS, ADHD, GDD) |
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| What's left of our posters after every walker received one |
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| Dusti with Bella, an autism service dog and a loving member of their family |
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| During Anne's speech... Everyone was moved |
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| People enjoyed our posters! Yey! Lord knows we spent countless hours making these, so it was great seeing people truly enjoy them |
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| Athena, watching Anne during her speech |
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| Bella, my favourite autism service dog |
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| Loved these!!! |
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| Love the autism spirit! |
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| Arlene manning the information and jewelry booth for Mike. He'd locked his keys in the van and I had to call CAA... |
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| The autism awareness bear! Isn't he adorable?! |
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| Just thought it was a pretty picture... Good work Tony!!! |
There are 155 beautiful pictures to show the story of the event. Thank you Tony for giving us all access to the photo album. To see more of the event, and trust me, it's definitely worth seeing the pictures, go to:
While you're at his site, check out the rest of his work, and book your next portrait appointment as soon as you can, as he's getting to be busy. Mention you saw his work on the World Autism Awareness walk for him to fit you in sooner.
The event was a success, and while I'm happy we were a part of it, I'm also relieved that it's over and we can start working on things in our lives again. I'm hoping to have some help from others for next year's walk as this walk will be an annual event for us. I can hardly wait to invite people to our 10th annual World Autism Awareness Walk!!!
Hope you've enjoyed Tony's picture story and Anne's speech as much as I have. Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou and family
Monday, 25 March 2013
Pary Deux Of Our Our Very First Annual World Autism Awareness Walk
There's a week left before the walk, and I'm starting to panic. Mike and Arlene are strong and steady, me... I'm about to puke. But I've always been a bit on the diva side, and being able to recognize that is the first step in recovery, right?
Mike has been able to confirm the attendance of Special Olympics. Do you know what that means? It means we need to do more posters!!! If I sniff one more marker... Thanks a lot Mike!
Anne, my dear Anne has found volunteers to help us color more posters, sparing my nervous system from the fumes of highness. Thank you Anne!!! Personally, I think she's just trying to save the rest of the posters from me. I'm starting to color outside the lines... It makes me feel dangerous. The purple penguins and the yellow leprechauns are trying to steal my coco puffs! I'm gonna team up with the rainbow unicorns and defeat them! Who's with me?!
Arlene's gone as far as making a logo for PACE. Mike's gone nuts and started making T-shirts for the walk. I think he's trying to stroke me out from the pressure. If you want a T-shirt, honorariums of a minimum of $20 would be appreciated to cover the cost of buying the shirts and the thingies to iron the logo thingies on them and the ink thing of a bob dooey. Next year, we'll be a little more prepared and hopefully be able to buy the T-shirts on line for much less. Hopefully... If you would like one, call Mike at 204 632 5539 or 204 795 2625. There's 20 shirts in medium, large, x-large and 2xl, so first come, first serve.
I've got a photographer!!! Yey!!! And not just any photographer, I've got the best photographer!!! Tony Schellenberg of Anthony Mark Photography is going to document our very first World Autism Awareness Day Walk with his beautiful work of art. Check out his work at www.anthonymarkphotography.net. Tony is also a father of two beautiful children on the autism spectrum, so if you're looking for a photographer who 'gets it,' that has patience and knows what he's doing, you've really got to check him out. Mike and I will be making an appointment with him soon to get some family portraits done.
We're collecting boxes to use the cardboard to glue our in excess of 200 posters to them for the walkers to carry or wear, we're still trying to decide how to do this. Maybe we'll give y'all the option. Any suggestions? Email me please!!! This way they will last for next year's walk. We could use your help too!!! We're getting together at the Y on the corner of McGregor and Mountain tomorrow (Tuesday, March 26th) at 6:00pm and will be there until 8pm. We really could use your help in coloring the posters and gluing them to cardboard walkers will carry, so if you have some time to spare (I know... time is something we all wish we had, but please... Even 5 minutes of your time would be helpful), we would be super thrilled to have your company. The address is 363 McGregor St. Bring your kids, as we're still hosting to Kid's Gymboree while the parents help us. For more information on the Y: http://www.ymcaywca.mb.ca/northend.html
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Mike has been able to confirm the attendance of Special Olympics. Do you know what that means? It means we need to do more posters!!! If I sniff one more marker... Thanks a lot Mike!
Anne, my dear Anne has found volunteers to help us color more posters, sparing my nervous system from the fumes of highness. Thank you Anne!!! Personally, I think she's just trying to save the rest of the posters from me. I'm starting to color outside the lines... It makes me feel dangerous. The purple penguins and the yellow leprechauns are trying to steal my coco puffs! I'm gonna team up with the rainbow unicorns and defeat them! Who's with me?!
Arlene's gone as far as making a logo for PACE. Mike's gone nuts and started making T-shirts for the walk. I think he's trying to stroke me out from the pressure. If you want a T-shirt, honorariums of a minimum of $20 would be appreciated to cover the cost of buying the shirts and the thingies to iron the logo thingies on them and the ink thing of a bob dooey. Next year, we'll be a little more prepared and hopefully be able to buy the T-shirts on line for much less. Hopefully... If you would like one, call Mike at 204 632 5539 or 204 795 2625. There's 20 shirts in medium, large, x-large and 2xl, so first come, first serve.
I've got a photographer!!! Yey!!! And not just any photographer, I've got the best photographer!!! Tony Schellenberg of Anthony Mark Photography is going to document our very first World Autism Awareness Day Walk with his beautiful work of art. Check out his work at www.anthonymarkphotography.net. Tony is also a father of two beautiful children on the autism spectrum, so if you're looking for a photographer who 'gets it,' that has patience and knows what he's doing, you've really got to check him out. Mike and I will be making an appointment with him soon to get some family portraits done.
We're collecting boxes to use the cardboard to glue our in excess of 200 posters to them for the walkers to carry or wear, we're still trying to decide how to do this. Maybe we'll give y'all the option. Any suggestions? Email me please!!! This way they will last for next year's walk. We could use your help too!!! We're getting together at the Y on the corner of McGregor and Mountain tomorrow (Tuesday, March 26th) at 6:00pm and will be there until 8pm. We really could use your help in coloring the posters and gluing them to cardboard walkers will carry, so if you have some time to spare (I know... time is something we all wish we had, but please... Even 5 minutes of your time would be helpful), we would be super thrilled to have your company. The address is 363 McGregor St. Bring your kids, as we're still hosting to Kid's Gymboree while the parents help us. For more information on the Y: http://www.ymcaywca.mb.ca/northend.html
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 21 March 2013
Our Very First Annual World Autism Awareness Walk
We're doing it! Never done before in Manitoba, we're putting together the very first World Autism Awareness Walk!!!
My God... the work... it just doesn't seem to end. I've dreamt of making this walk happen for years, and now, it's happening... Mike and our friend Arlene have done most of the work, making me feel a wee bit guilty, but I'm doing this with people I love and for people I love.
Arlene has looked after the permits for the walk and getting the permissions needed to walk from the Forks to the Manitoba Legislature building downtown Winnipeg. She's baking 300 autism puzzle piece cookies and hand coloring each one. She's designed, drawn out and in the process of coloring the enormous banner that will be carried by two children at the head of the procession. She's colored many, many posters...
Mike's the artist of the group, and very talented in everything he does. I'm still trying to find something he's not good at. He's drawn up a few different poster designs, had them photocopied and colored many, many, many posters. He's got a band for our listening pleasure at the Legislature Building, he's working on getting a generator for the band, full of ideas on how we should light the Legislature Building blue (blue is the color for autism). He's got glow blue glow sticks for the kids. He's making plans on carrying speakers and chargers during the walk to play songs written with autism in mind for everyone within earshot of the walk to hear. He's approached Special Olympics and they too are coming to join us in our cause...
And then there's me... I've talked to the two major autism organizations here in Winnipeg in hopes of organizing a united autism community for the walk and rally at the Legislature Building. Unfortunately, they both have many projects on the go, and won't be representing their organizations. I'm scouting for guest speakers and found one that I'm grateful to have made friends with. Anne is an amazing, intelligent and well spoken woman whom I admire and respect very much. She's the mother I hope to be one day to my children. She's been through the trenches of education, advocating and laid the ground work for those new to autism. Anne is a pioneer in my eyes, and I am truly blessed to have her in my life. She's helped me in my private life, sorting through all the 'junk' of my life and thrown me a life raft a few times. She's digging into her connections and got us more help in coloring posters, and may have a special surprise coming to the Legislature Building. A hint: plays a sport and wears blue... That's all I can say for now.
I also sniffed many a'felt pens and colored within the lines as much as I possibly could. A few times I missed, and with Mike's encouragement and Arlene's blind faith in me, they allowed me to continue coloring the posters. Arlene's also going to let me burn (I can't bake my way through a paper bag) some autism cookies.
Isn't it interesting how Winnipeg's city hall lights up blue on April 2nd, recognizing the World Autism Awareness Day, yet the Legislature Building says it would cost $1000 to light up blue, so they won't do it? Hmmmm... So, it's up to us parents of children with autism to light it up their lawn blue for them!
Autism awareness... why bother? Everyone knows about autism, right?
WRONG.
I can honestly say that autism in the beginning freaked the living crap out of me. I felt totally overwhelmed with everything life had to dish out at me, and making any decision including what to make for supper that night felt like a crisis. Learning to pull the tears back into my eyes was a really hard trick to learn, but thanks to the chaos of my life and my ex husband's lack of support and his infidelity, I had to master this trick quickly. I felt a desperate need for a primal scream, a good bottle of wine, and a really, really good cry. A medically induced coma sounded like the perfect escape and the next logical step. All that kept running through my head was 'seriously, is this really my life?' Stress, exhaustion, anger, resentment, worry, anxiety, and going at it all alone even though there are people all around you every day, wherever you go... that's the worst part.
There comes a time when you just need a cookie. And the Lord offered me a sweet, melt in your mouth cookie, on a day I needed it most. On this day, I sat there still stunned with my life, and wondered how on earth I would survive it all. Did I have what it takes to make it or would this break me? Did I have the strength and stamina it would take to take care of my child as his father certainly wouldn't. He was far too busy worrying about himself, his job and his Call of Duty video games to pay attention to either my emotional pain of his infidelity or Dayton's autism. It was Dayton and I against the world. I was angry at God. Truly angry for being all alone in this. I threw (yup, I did) my bible against the wall in defiance, and it fell open at the foot of my bed. Picking it up feeling totally guilty (I was born female and Catholic, let's face it, I never stood a chance. Guilt is my middle name), I read the following scripture: Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous, right hand." Hmmmm, cookie! Thank you Lord!
I'm not the first, nor will I be the last parent who's felt the overwhelming urge to have a meltdown of their own when they're scared out of their mind because their child has just been diagnosed with autism. But I do want new folks to autism to know that they are NOT alone. We are here. We're having the first annual World Autism Awareness Walk so that these newcomers to autism will see us, and know where to go for help. They will know they are not alone. They won't need to throw their bible at the wall. More importantly, they will know that autism is not the end of the world. It is not a death sentence, and can be very fulfilling. Fulfilling? Yes... Every day is another day that I thank God for my beautiful children and how they make me who I am today. My kids are what makes me smile. Not a day goes by no matter how stressful and horrible where all I have to do is look at their faces and know just how lucky I am.
That's what this walk is about, and will be for years to come. I am blessed. My life is full, and I have like minded friends to help make a dream come true.
On April 2nd, I walk for Ashley, Katie, Amber, Dayton and my hips. Who will you be walking for?
As my father taught me, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
If you need more information on this walk, email me and I'll get back to you.
My God... the work... it just doesn't seem to end. I've dreamt of making this walk happen for years, and now, it's happening... Mike and our friend Arlene have done most of the work, making me feel a wee bit guilty, but I'm doing this with people I love and for people I love.
Arlene has looked after the permits for the walk and getting the permissions needed to walk from the Forks to the Manitoba Legislature building downtown Winnipeg. She's baking 300 autism puzzle piece cookies and hand coloring each one. She's designed, drawn out and in the process of coloring the enormous banner that will be carried by two children at the head of the procession. She's colored many, many posters...
Mike's the artist of the group, and very talented in everything he does. I'm still trying to find something he's not good at. He's drawn up a few different poster designs, had them photocopied and colored many, many, many posters. He's got a band for our listening pleasure at the Legislature Building, he's working on getting a generator for the band, full of ideas on how we should light the Legislature Building blue (blue is the color for autism). He's got glow blue glow sticks for the kids. He's making plans on carrying speakers and chargers during the walk to play songs written with autism in mind for everyone within earshot of the walk to hear. He's approached Special Olympics and they too are coming to join us in our cause...
And then there's me... I've talked to the two major autism organizations here in Winnipeg in hopes of organizing a united autism community for the walk and rally at the Legislature Building. Unfortunately, they both have many projects on the go, and won't be representing their organizations. I'm scouting for guest speakers and found one that I'm grateful to have made friends with. Anne is an amazing, intelligent and well spoken woman whom I admire and respect very much. She's the mother I hope to be one day to my children. She's been through the trenches of education, advocating and laid the ground work for those new to autism. Anne is a pioneer in my eyes, and I am truly blessed to have her in my life. She's helped me in my private life, sorting through all the 'junk' of my life and thrown me a life raft a few times. She's digging into her connections and got us more help in coloring posters, and may have a special surprise coming to the Legislature Building. A hint: plays a sport and wears blue... That's all I can say for now.
I also sniffed many a'felt pens and colored within the lines as much as I possibly could. A few times I missed, and with Mike's encouragement and Arlene's blind faith in me, they allowed me to continue coloring the posters. Arlene's also going to let me burn (I can't bake my way through a paper bag) some autism cookies.
Isn't it interesting how Winnipeg's city hall lights up blue on April 2nd, recognizing the World Autism Awareness Day, yet the Legislature Building says it would cost $1000 to light up blue, so they won't do it? Hmmmm... So, it's up to us parents of children with autism to light it up their lawn blue for them!
Autism awareness... why bother? Everyone knows about autism, right?
WRONG.
I can honestly say that autism in the beginning freaked the living crap out of me. I felt totally overwhelmed with everything life had to dish out at me, and making any decision including what to make for supper that night felt like a crisis. Learning to pull the tears back into my eyes was a really hard trick to learn, but thanks to the chaos of my life and my ex husband's lack of support and his infidelity, I had to master this trick quickly. I felt a desperate need for a primal scream, a good bottle of wine, and a really, really good cry. A medically induced coma sounded like the perfect escape and the next logical step. All that kept running through my head was 'seriously, is this really my life?' Stress, exhaustion, anger, resentment, worry, anxiety, and going at it all alone even though there are people all around you every day, wherever you go... that's the worst part.
There comes a time when you just need a cookie. And the Lord offered me a sweet, melt in your mouth cookie, on a day I needed it most. On this day, I sat there still stunned with my life, and wondered how on earth I would survive it all. Did I have what it takes to make it or would this break me? Did I have the strength and stamina it would take to take care of my child as his father certainly wouldn't. He was far too busy worrying about himself, his job and his Call of Duty video games to pay attention to either my emotional pain of his infidelity or Dayton's autism. It was Dayton and I against the world. I was angry at God. Truly angry for being all alone in this. I threw (yup, I did) my bible against the wall in defiance, and it fell open at the foot of my bed. Picking it up feeling totally guilty (I was born female and Catholic, let's face it, I never stood a chance. Guilt is my middle name), I read the following scripture: Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous, right hand." Hmmmm, cookie! Thank you Lord!
I'm not the first, nor will I be the last parent who's felt the overwhelming urge to have a meltdown of their own when they're scared out of their mind because their child has just been diagnosed with autism. But I do want new folks to autism to know that they are NOT alone. We are here. We're having the first annual World Autism Awareness Walk so that these newcomers to autism will see us, and know where to go for help. They will know they are not alone. They won't need to throw their bible at the wall. More importantly, they will know that autism is not the end of the world. It is not a death sentence, and can be very fulfilling. Fulfilling? Yes... Every day is another day that I thank God for my beautiful children and how they make me who I am today. My kids are what makes me smile. Not a day goes by no matter how stressful and horrible where all I have to do is look at their faces and know just how lucky I am.
That's what this walk is about, and will be for years to come. I am blessed. My life is full, and I have like minded friends to help make a dream come true.
On April 2nd, I walk for Ashley, Katie, Amber, Dayton and my hips. Who will you be walking for?
As my father taught me, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
If you need more information on this walk, email me and I'll get back to you.
Sunday, 3 February 2013
Ten Commandments For Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum
Read this this morning on facebook, and had to share it with y'all:
Ten Commandments For Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum, by Stop Romanticizing Autism:
Ten Commandments For Interacting With Kids On The Autism Spectrum, by Stop Romanticizing Autism:
TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR INTERACTING WITH KIDS ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM
1. Thou shall not yell when speaking to me.
My Autism does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright. Perhaps even brighter than you are.
TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR INTERACTING WITH KIDS ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM
1. Thou shall not yell when speaking to me.
My Autism does not impair my hearing and I am extremely bright. Perhaps even brighter than you are.
2. Thou shall not ignore me, talk negatively about me, speak unnaturally slow, or ask questions to others in the room that pertain to me.
I can comprehend what you are saying just fine.
2. Thou shall not ignore me, talk negatively about me, speak unnaturally slow, or ask questions to others in the room that pertain to me.
I can comprehend what you are saying just fine.
3. Thou shall believe in me and help me believe in my skills and self worth.
Note the good in me and do not merely point out my negative behaviors. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.
3. Thou shall believe in me and help me believe in my skills and self worth.
Note the good in me and do not merely point out my negative behaviors. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.
4. Thou shall not perceive me as dumb.
I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and maybe not as quickly as you expect me to. Have patience with me. Once I recall information, I never forget.
4. Thou shall not perceive me as dumb.
I am extremely intelligent. I do not learn in the same way as you, and maybe not as quickly as you expect me to. Have patience with me. Once I recall information, I never forget.
5. Thou shall not judge my behavior.
I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I may be hypersensitive to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears. Fluorescent lights are distracting for me. They have a humming noise, and can pulsate. All the noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to help me.
5. Thou shall not judge my behavior.
I can get overstimulated in certain environments. I may be hypersensitive to sound and loud noises may hurt my ears. Fluorescent lights are distracting for me. They have a humming noise, and can pulsate. All the noises in a room can blur together. Please make accommodations to help me.
6. Thou shall not be so quick to scold me.
Do not tell me that “I know what I did”. I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in a simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your bedroom. Tell me exactly what you want, such as ‘Please make your bed and pick up your toys”.
6. Thou shall not be so quick to scold me.
Do not tell me that “I know what I did”. I do not. Tell me what my infraction was in a simple, concise manner. I want to please you, but I have difficulties inferring meaning within a vague statement. For instance, do not say please clean up your bedroom. Tell me exactly what you want, such as ‘Please make your bed and pick up your toys”.
7. Thou shall not compare me to others.
Please remind me, and note the talents that I possess. This increases my confidence and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.
7. Thou shall not compare me to others.
Please remind me, and note the talents that I possess. This increases my confidence and positive self worth. Learning disabled or not, we ALL have talents to contribute within society. I need you to help me realize what mine is. Believe in me and I will believe in myself.
8. Thou shall not exclude me from activities.
Please do not mimic me, ignore me, or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It hurts my feelings when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to birthday parties too. Grown ups can help me make friends by encouraging other children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to know me.
8. Thou shall not exclude me from activities.
Please do not mimic me, ignore me, or bully me. Please invite me to play with you. It hurts my feelings when I am excluded. I like to run and jump in the playground, and be invited to birthday parties too. Grown ups can help me make friends by encouraging other children to play with me. I can be a loyal friend if you get to know me.
9. Thou shall give me choices.
I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise. Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like to wear.
9. Thou shall give me choices.
I do not like being ordered about any more than the other children. Give me choices so I know you value my capabilities and opinions. Make them simple and concise. Present two options or so. I get confused when too many questions or directions are given at one time due to my processing speed. For instance, ask me if I would like to wear my blue sweater or green one, rather than asking which sweater I would like to wear.
10. Thou shall not judge me by my diagnosis, but by my character.
I am an individual, just like other children.
My question is, reading through this, how often do you as a parent of a child or children with autism catch yourself thinking "oh crap, I do that and that and that..." I think I will make a more conscious effort in thinking before reacting with the kids. Maybe I should have this printed in poster form and put it up on a wall to remind myself on a daily basis...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
10. Thou shall not judge me by my diagnosis, but by my character.
I am an individual, just like other children.
My question is, reading through this, how often do you as a parent of a child or children with autism catch yourself thinking "oh crap, I do that and that and that..." I think I will make a more conscious effort in thinking before reacting with the kids. Maybe I should have this printed in poster form and put it up on a wall to remind myself on a daily basis...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 31 January 2013
My Specialty Is Sarcasm, But I Can Be Just Plain Mean
I think we all know just how passionate I am about autism awareness. I don't share my life with the entire world to see for the fun of it. I do it to show people that people with autism are not stupid, dumb, defiant or violent without cause... People with autism think differently and view life in a different way than us boring, neurotypical, fake, selfish and egotistical folk who will do whatever it takes to be accepted among our peers to the point of changing who we truly are and lying to others to be envied and looked up to. Us 'normal' people just don't know when to quit when competing with the Joneses, do we?
I think my biggest pet peeve with people is that they like to offer unsolicited parenting advice to parents who are raising children on the autism spectrum. And to those people I would just like to say "Maybe you should concentrate on cleaning up the mess you made raising your own kids before you start playing Supernanny to ours."
A fellow Winnipeg autism mother went shopping at The Real Canadian Super Store with her son who has autism. This child's autism is much more intense then my kids, and when you watch him, it is clear that he is a child with a disability. While shopping, the poor boy had a wee bit of an episode as he suffers from extreme anxiety and was most likely over stimulated... and a manager came to my friend and asked "Is there a problem here?" and kind of put my friend in an awkward position... There's more to the story, but the part that is upsetting the most is that when she went on The Real Canadian Superstore facebook page to let the store know what happened and her offense at how the situation was handled by the store manager, a supposed 'normal' employee or past employee (if his facebook account is accurate), had two comments to say, and I literally copied and pasted these comments:
1)
2)
Wow!
I'm speechless... And that doesn't happen very often.
My roommate had to take my laptop away for a while. She did her best to edit my original post on this, and then called in reinforcements.
First of all, if this Steven Brazeau is or has been employed by the Real Canadian Superstore, I think they have a major HR problem.
Second... people!!! Understand that just because you delete your comment on facebook, doesn't mean it wasn't seen on facebook by others, and furthermore... SOME OF US HAVE COMMENTS FORWARDED TO OUR EMAILS!!! Even if you delete your comment, guess what? It's too late! The comment has already been emailed to the poster's email address!
Autism is not a disease. It's not something you catch from someone.
Children and adults diagnosed with autism are not diagnosed by their parents, there are actual psychiatrists that have a university degree that give them the 'right' to do that.
An excuse to call my children autistic? Seriously? I'd much rather call my children the next Einstein! Autism is not a country club us parents want to belong to!
As a mother of a child with autism, I can honestly tell you my children's popularity in school is the least of my concerns. Our kids couldn't care less if they're considered cool or not, that is kind of the beauty of autism. They couldn't care less about Mr. and Mrs. Jones and what they have.
And for the record, autism is not a disgrace, ignorance is. I am proud of all my kids. It is society that calls my children autistic, God calls them PERFECT. So for those that have a problem with people on the autism spectrum going shopping for their groceries, a necessity for survival, well... take it outside and have your own little hissy fit. Let the rest of us go in the grocery store, do our necessary shopping and get out.
As always, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
I think my biggest pet peeve with people is that they like to offer unsolicited parenting advice to parents who are raising children on the autism spectrum. And to those people I would just like to say "Maybe you should concentrate on cleaning up the mess you made raising your own kids before you start playing Supernanny to ours."
A fellow Winnipeg autism mother went shopping at The Real Canadian Super Store with her son who has autism. This child's autism is much more intense then my kids, and when you watch him, it is clear that he is a child with a disability. While shopping, the poor boy had a wee bit of an episode as he suffers from extreme anxiety and was most likely over stimulated... and a manager came to my friend and asked "Is there a problem here?" and kind of put my friend in an awkward position... There's more to the story, but the part that is upsetting the most is that when she went on The Real Canadian Superstore facebook page to let the store know what happened and her offense at how the situation was handled by the store manager, a supposed 'normal' employee or past employee (if his facebook account is accurate), had two comments to say, and I literally copied and pasted these comments:
1)
|
 |
|
Wow!
I'm speechless... And that doesn't happen very often.
My roommate had to take my laptop away for a while. She did her best to edit my original post on this, and then called in reinforcements.
First of all, if this Steven Brazeau is or has been employed by the Real Canadian Superstore, I think they have a major HR problem.
Second... people!!! Understand that just because you delete your comment on facebook, doesn't mean it wasn't seen on facebook by others, and furthermore... SOME OF US HAVE COMMENTS FORWARDED TO OUR EMAILS!!! Even if you delete your comment, guess what? It's too late! The comment has already been emailed to the poster's email address!
Autism is not a disease. It's not something you catch from someone.
Children and adults diagnosed with autism are not diagnosed by their parents, there are actual psychiatrists that have a university degree that give them the 'right' to do that.
An excuse to call my children autistic? Seriously? I'd much rather call my children the next Einstein! Autism is not a country club us parents want to belong to!
As a mother of a child with autism, I can honestly tell you my children's popularity in school is the least of my concerns. Our kids couldn't care less if they're considered cool or not, that is kind of the beauty of autism. They couldn't care less about Mr. and Mrs. Jones and what they have.
And for the record, autism is not a disgrace, ignorance is. I am proud of all my kids. It is society that calls my children autistic, God calls them PERFECT. So for those that have a problem with people on the autism spectrum going shopping for their groceries, a necessity for survival, well... take it outside and have your own little hissy fit. Let the rest of us go in the grocery store, do our necessary shopping and get out.
As always, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
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