We Got It!!! Time To Celebrate!!!

We finally did it.  Well, SuperDad did it.  We got a gym for the kids!  I'm so excited, I can hardly contain it all from erupting in the form of projectile vomit.  I mean this in a good way.  Whenever I get super happy excited, I end up sick to my stomach...

So you're thinking "Big deal...  the girl's got a gym.  I don't get it...

Let me explain:  All kids in Winnipeg on the autism spectrum get to enjoy this gym every Tuesday night, from 6:30pm to 8pm.  It's a home for PACE!!!  This is huge!!!  We finally have a home away from home, and our kiddos will reap the benefits of interacting with THEIR true peers, without the fear of being bullied, harassed or teased for their disabilities.  They will be celebrated for being a truly unique individual, because let's face it.  If you've met a child on the autism spectrum, you've only met ONE child on the autism spectrum.  It's a broad spectrum, full of beautiful colors and cool puzzles pieces.

Parents benefit by interacting with other parents of children on the autism spectrum, supporting one another without judgement!  How many of us have felt judged by people that just 'don't get it?'  Oh, I don't know...  how about your child's school?

Yeah...  That's what I thought.

Wouldn't it be nice to have a good cup of coffee, hang out with other parents who get you and your kid?  That's what we're offering, so make sure to visit us and check out our website for up to date information!

Anyhow, thought I'd share the fantastic news with y'all.  Hope you're as excited as I am!  For those wanting more information and a schedule of events, please visit www.pacewithasd.com.  Save it as a favorite on your web browser, and make sure to keep updated at this website people!  Let me help you bring some sanity back to your life.


Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

Smell My Finger

Oy vey...  The boy has struck again.  Not sure what's happening with him, but it's been a rough week.  It doesn't help that I've got this horrible ear and sinus infection, I'm working more hours now (which I need now that I have a car payment), and the excitement around his birthday wreaked a wee bit of havoc too.

Monday:  Missed the school bus because I had overslept.  My ear weeping, head about to explode from the sinus pressure, I dizzily drag my butt into Dayton's room to wake him up.  He said 'no,' rolled over and tried to go back to sleep.  Of course as much as I would have loved to do the same, it just wasn't an option.  I rip the covers off the boy, put my hands over my ears and start singing.  At this point I should let you know that even if I could hear myself properly, I am completely tone deaf and can't sing.  The sound is somewhere between a screeching cat and a cheetah's growl.  It's just not pretty.  The boy finally gets up, and I drive him to school.

While getting ready for work, I get a phone call from Dayton's teacher.  She hears my voice and apologizes for calling, telling me she'll call another time, but I insist to hear what prompted her to call me in the first place.  I don't want to lose sleep over something that may not be a big deal...  Boy, was I wrong...

My darling babe refused to do his math work with his educational assistant, telling her he didn't have to listen to her, and that he wasn't doing his work.  He swore at her.  When that didn't make her stop asking him to work, he found a broken chair leg and started poking at her. And when that failed...  He stuck his fingers up his rectum...  Yes.  He did.  And then tried to touch her.  And then he tried touching everything in the room.  And then he proceeded to go do his milk monitoring job refusing to wash his hands until the principal got involved.

Pardon my French, but WHAT THE HELL?!  My first impulse was to spank the boy and ground him for life.  Really?  Seriously?

Of course, I decided that I wasn't going to talk to Dayton until I 'chilled out,' literally.  I was so hot from my fever, I opened the freezer door and stuck my head in it, not kidding.  I sat Dayton down and told him I knew what happened at school and that I was not impressed.  He had no explanation for me, just looked at me like I had that third eye growing out of my forehead again.  Finally he says to me "I was too tired to do math."

"You didn't think you should tell your aid this?!"
"She knew I was tired."
"How did she know this Dayton?"
"Because I was tired."
"But you didn't tell her that, did you?"
"No."
"Then how was she supposed to know you were tired?"
"Because I was tired (rolling his eyes at me now, making my blood pressure rise)!"
"Dayton, no one knows what's happening for you unless you TELL them, you really need to use your words.  There's no projector in your head announcing to everyone what you're thinking.  Not only that, but sticking your fingers up your butt, really?!  What made you think that was appropriate in any way?!"
"I dunno."
I hate I dunno.
"Dayton, from now on, you need to earn twelve magnets per week before you can play your playstation on the the weekends.  Your teacher will let me know if you've done your work during the morning and afternoon.  Each time you do your work for that period, you get a magnet."
"But momma!!!  I have a hard time getting ten magnets!  Twelve is impossible!!!"
"No, it's not impossible.  There are five days in a school week, and you can earn two magnets each day.  Count my fingers..."
MELTDOWN CITY.

Tuesday:  Dayton drags his butt around the house in the morning, not listening to me to get ready for school.  We miss the bus.  He's rude to his educational assistant, telling her someone 'taddled' on him to his momma, and now he's 'gonna have to pay.'  The teacher asks me if I know what Dayton means by this statement, and I explain to her about having to earn two extra magnets a week (completely attainable) to be able to play his playstation on the weekend.
"Dayton, you have no right telling off your aid.  You are not to speak like that to her again!"
"Yes momma."
"And why would you say that you 'have to pay?!  Do you have any idea what that sounds like?  Why not just tell her that you have to earn two extra magnets a week?"
"She knows I pay with magnets."
"Dayton, again buddy, you need to use your words.  People can't read your mind and have no idea what you're thinking!!!"
"She knows I pay for everything with magnets!!!"
"No she doesn't Dayton.  You need to explain your thoughts.  People don't know what you're thinking buddy!!!"
"YES SHE DOES!!!"
Argh.

Wednesday:  Dayton again won't get ready for school and we AGAIN miss the school bus.

Thursday:  We miss the school bus again because Dayton refuses to get ready when I ask him to, even when I threaten to make him walk to school if he misses the bus again.  We miss the bus.  This time I won't let him in the car and tell him to start walking.  He refuses to walk and starts hitting my new Sexy Rexy

Today:  We miss the bus, but not due to Dayton's trouble getting ready...  the bus came early.  I'm still sick and tired.  I'm still bothered about the butt thing.


Anyways, consider yourselves hugged y'all,

Lou

IEP Hero... And Yes, I Have Pictures To Prove It!!!

IEP meetings, actually, come to think of it, any meeting with your child's school can be a traumatic, emotionally draining experience for a parent with a child on the autism spectrum. I've managed to survive so far, with the help of CFS, CSS, Dayton's behavioural specialist and Valium.  The most traumatic meeting, and I do mean traumatic, was the meeting I had for Dayton's level III funding for a full time aid so he could be autistic all day as opposed to half the day.  It left me feeling raw, humiliated and in need of extra Valium downed with lots of wine.  I remember last year's IEP meeting where I ended up getting sick (I mean literally SICK) and went home to vomit and remain sick for a few days after the fact.  What I would have given for a hero!

Anyone's spouse talk like this?  LOL!  Don't you wish they did!!!

For more pictures like these (my stomach still hurts from laughing), check out www.extremeparenthood.com

I am more than grateful for the support I have received in the last two years, and even more grateful that I no longer need the support of CFS, CSS and Dayton's behavioural specialist this year.  With the new principal and new teacher who understand that I am a good parent, and that I have not neglected my child, that I have not contributed to Dayton's autism in any way, I have a sense of trust in Dayton's school this year.  In saying this, there are many parents out there not as fortunate as I am today.  For those of you still struggling out there, take a look at this article.  I wish I had read it three years ago.

http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2012/01/06/fewer-parents-iep-meetings/14726/

For anyone out there still struggling with anything regarding their child on the autism spectrum and in need of a shoulder to cry on, a good cup of coffee and a sense of community of people that UNDERSTAND what you're going through, check out www.pacewithasd.com.  We're in the process of getting a place for the kids to hang out and feel accepted among their peers.  Information to follow once we've successfully secured a meeting place.  Also, check this website for our parent Coffee Addicts Anonymous get togethers where we encourage and support one another on a weekly basis.



Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

I Got Me Some Super Powers, How About You?

An awesome autism mom, and a woman I'm so happy to be able to call my friend posted this on facebook, and I loved it so much, I just had to share it with y'all:

So maybe you're not Spiderman (though wouldn't those webs come in handy sometimes?) You still have senses and abilities far more developed than those of the average parent. Your senses tingle when something is wrong with your child, long before anybody else notices a difference. With your X-ray vision, you see through inaccurate diagnoses and inadequate treatments; with your superior strength, you blast through red tape and past ineffectual bureaucrats to get your child what he or she needs; with your lightning speed, you swoop in to keep your child out of trouble. Like many a superhero, you can't always explain to mere mortals how you know what you know. But as Peter Parker himself learned, with great power comes great responsibility.

This rings especially true for me tonight.

I witness a security guard catch two eleven year old boys shoplifting.  ELEVEN YEARS OLD!!!  And what, you may ask, were these two little boys trying to steal?  I sure hope you're sitting down for this...

CONDOMS.

As a parent of a ten year old boy, I'm a little freaked out.  There's no way I'm allowing my child to have sex at this age, and there's no way I'd let my babe out of my site long enough for him to run to a store and shoplift, never mind be alone with a girl.  My question to these little boys' parents is:  "Where are you?  Why are you allowing your eleven year old to run around the city alone?"

Now keep in mind, the boys are only eleven years old.  I'm hoping that sex was not on their minds, and perhaps they figured blowing them up or filling them with water to see what happens may be a fun pass time.

I know, I know, I know...  I'm judging, something I really have no business doing.  I need to let God do His job as I'm busy enough with the responsibilities He's given me.  But I can't help but feel horrible for these little boys.  They don't stand a chance in this world.  The sickest part to me was the first little boy's parents, who had no respect for the security guard, swore at him, grabbed their boy roughly and shoved him out of the store.

My heart aches for these two little boys.  What I would give to be able to have more children, and to see others have no respect for the children they've been blessed with and others around them breaks my heart.

I can not imagine letting my babe loose out in the city.  I'd be worried sick about him.  While I understand that Dayton is not neurotypical, and perhaps if he was I may see things differently, as a parent, I can't let my beloved babe out of my sight.  I just can't do it.  Maybe I baby Dayton too much, maybe I shouldn't hover over him all the time, perhaps I'm over protective and should cut the umbilical cord so to speak.  I'm not ready, and I don't think he is either.  I don't think any child at eleven years old is responsible enough to handle this crazy city on their own.

Not only do I worry about Dayton not being responsible, but I worry about predators out there that would take advantage of a young boy his age.  Am I crazy?  Overprotective?  I know my step daughter thinks I'm nuts, and says she could never live with me because I'm overprotective...  She's 15 going on 30, and no, I don't think it wise that she walk around a big city by herself.  Sue me.  There's some real sickos out there.

It was a cold day today, but during my split shift, I sat outside and froze my face off while Dayton played hockey with his friend.  I watched the boys, made sure they were safe and even though I would have preferred to stay indoors where it was nice and warm, I enjoyed the boys' laughter and relished in their fun.  Their smiles made enduring the cold all worth it.  And they boys didn't mind having me around either.  I think they actually liked having me there.



Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

11 Step Program For Those Considering Having Children:

11 Step Program For Those Considering Having Children:

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!




Consider yourselves hugged,


Lou

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

I've been suffering from a nasal issue since the end of September.  I really need to make the time to go see a doctor...  I've become a nasal spray junkie, AGAIN.  I just can't seem to get off the juice this time.  I've switched to Claritin nasal spray and been on it at least once a day, piggy backed with some pseudoephedrine tablets to try to get myself off the juice for the past two months.  It's not working.  Like I said, I've had this problem since the end of September.  Not being able to breathe through my nose makes me rather irritable, which makes my sarcasm that much more difficult to control.

Naturally, this means that sometimes Dayton suffers the consequences of my crankiness and sarcasm.  He's learned so much from me these past few months, my most favourite, "yeah, how about no," something I wasn't aware I used as much as I did.  Turns out the apple don't fall from the tree.

Me:  "Dayton, how about cleaning up your room before playing any video games?"
Dayton:  "Yeah, how about no."
Me:  "Dayton!  What makes you think you can say that to me?!"
Dayton:  "You say it all the time!"
Me (flustered...  so flustered.  And a wee bit ticked off:  "You don't talk to me like that!"
Dayton:  "Then why you talk to me like that?"  (Isn't it funny how we can't ask our kids on the autism spectrum 'why,' as we always confuse them, but yet here he is asking me 'why?!'  Grrrr.  I'm not a fan of double standards, and apparently, neither is he).

I suppose I had it coming.

Anyways.  I'm laying in bed one day, feeling dizzy and wee bit nauseated and can't breathe...  Dayton jumps on my bed and is looking at me with a funny look on his face.

Me:  "Hey babe, what's up?  Mamma can't breathe again, time to relax, OK?"
Dayton:  "I think I've figured out why you can't breathe mamma."
Me:  "Really?  OK, tell me your theory buddy."
Dayton:  "Let me get a closer look mamma.  I wanna be sure when I tell you."  (He must be exact in what he tells me...)  He lays on top of me with his face just under my chin.  What the...
Dayton:  "Yup, here's your problem mamma, you have a lot of hair in your nose.  That's why you can't breathe!"

He was so proud of himself!  Next shopping trip I must buy a nose trimmer...  Seriously?!


Consider yourselves hugged,

Lou

PACE: What A Hit! Our First Kid's Gymboree!!!

Our first PACE Kid Gymboree on January 28th was a success!

Organising an event for our children on the autism spectrum is not easy...  I had called around at different McDonald's explaining what I wanted:  Reserve the play structure room for 13 kids on the autism spectrum with their parents.  I wanted to make sure that parents would be able to sit in the play structure room while their kids played and didn't need to make the decision of allowing their kids to play or to sit outside with them and having to listen to them whine.

The St. Vital McDonald's could not "accommodate" us.  Seriously?!  So, I made the reservation at the St. James location.  I will never go to the McDonald's in St. Vital, and hope you make it a point of not going there either.

Once SuperDad got to the St. James location, he was told there was no reservation for us...  Fortunately, they got us in, and everything worked out thanks to SuperDad, and we began our very first PACE gymboree!  And what a turn out!!!  7 families!!!  We had an awesome time!  The kids got to interact with each other, the parents got to sit down and have a coffee, intervene with the kids when necessary (which I would like to add was MINIMAL), and we all had a good time!!!

I found the hardest part of this get together was actually getting out of the house and starting the car to get to McDonald's.  When the time came to go home, I was ready to go, but glad we had the opportunity to get out and meet some incredible kids and new friends.  An afternoon well spent!

Some pictures of our excursion:  Note the awesome dad playing with his son.  Another dad going down the slide with his cute little guy.  I love these super involved dads!!!

Daddy knows how to help a meltdown.  What a good daddy!!!

The boy agrees...  He's got the best daddy ever!  What a beautiful moment!

The mid age group wasn't expected to play with the little ones.  Here they are having fun with a board game.  And to think, most of them didn't want to come, look at them!  They didn't want to leave!

Isn't he adorable?  Don't you just wanna grab those cheeks?  What a cutie!

What a happy mom!  The adults are all engrossed in conversations and sharing stories, ideas and encouraging each other.  Everyone's having a great time!

Mike, as always, having a wee bit too much fun!  This is a perfect example of why I call him SuperDad.  He will do whatever it takes to put a smile on the kids' faces.

If you're struggling to meet with people, secluding yourself and your kids in the house, please message me to find out about our next get together.  Spring is coming soon, and I'm hoping to organise more outdoor activities for the kids!

For more information on PACE, visit www.pacewithasd.com.


Consider yourselves hugged,


Lou