In the city of Winnipeg, there are 6 school divisions, and I've come to learn that they don't all operate in the same way. Each school division is given money from the government to disperse at their own discretion.
I didn't know this almost two years ago when I moved from the Louis Riel school division to St. James. Even if I had known this, chances are I would still have moved to St. James, as this was the only place I could find housing. Housing availability right now for renters is at 0%. You can not purchase a decent home for under $250,000 anymore, and they are few and far between. Moving into a new school division is impossible right now.
Our current government in Manitoba is not allowing parents a choice in educating our children. This is not only the province of Manitoba that is binding our hands behind our back, most provinces in Canada are dealing with the same thing. Take for example this case in B.C, where a six year old child has been kicked out of school because of the danger posed by the six year old autistic boy. http://networkedblogs.com/gBomX. "No one referenced in the article speaks of the need to have teachers and aides with autism specific training working with autistic school children." Seeing as how 1 in 150 children (although I believe it's closer to 1 in 100, that's one percent of our children!!!) are being diagnosed with some form of autism, it seems none of the provincial governments in charge of education think it important to train their staff when it comes to autism to successfully "include" our children and mainstream them in public schools. And yet, the provincial government's policy of inclusion prevents parents to seek other alternatives. As parents, we have no choice but to send our children to these public schools, where our children are misunderstood and viewed as difficult or defiant on a daily basis. Staff firmly believe that at the core of the problem is our parenting, rather than viewing autism as a neurological disorder, unless of course the child has classic, low functioning autism. It seems the only province in all of Canada that recognizes autism for what it is, is Alberta, which allows for schools designed for children with special needs, such as Renfrew school http://www.renfreweducation.org/aboutrenfrew/testimonials.aspx, charter schools in Calgary and school of choice in the city of Edmonton. I will give more information on charter schools and school of choice soon. They deserve a post of their very own ;)
So I did some homework I'm sharing with you today. How nice of me, eh?
I've called all six of Winnipeg's school divisions, and they all agree that level 3 funding (meaning your child has a full time aid and they are allowed to be autistic all day long) helps in getting services in the school division for your child. In saying this, you must not only move to their school division, but also live in the catchment area of the school you feel would be the best fit. In other words, Winnipeg is not autism friendly. You may only have autism if you live in a certain are of the city, namely school division 1, which has schools that offer autism programs and adaptive skill programs (aka life skills programs) in their schools.
Some interesting information...
I've posted my email to the premier on the blog. I've talked to our MLA... they contacted Manitoba Education on my behalf. I get a call from a Marlene Gregory from Manitoba Education, who tells me that I should fill out a "school of choice form" and have it submitted by May 15th...
I contacted Winnipeg School division right away, based on my research, it seemed the best thing to do. Barb Ivans informed me that they don't accept these applications for children with special needs. I call Marlene Gregory back sobbing... "They, they, they won't take my baby..."
"Well Lou, the school division has the right to deny you... Call the rest of the school divisions, there are lots of autism programs out there in other divisions..."
And so I did... Did she seriously think she could get rid of me so easily?
Here is the break down of services offered by Winnipeg school divisions:
St. James School Division: (this is the school division my family lives in)
There is only one Occupational Therapist in this school division, who works part time and is spread thin across 26 schools!!! Unbelievable! No wonder Dayton is falling through the cracks!!! The school division has eight speech therapists, and speaking to one of them today, I found out she had seen Dayton ten times since September. I don't understand... Not only did the school not tell me Dayton was being seen by a speech therapist, but they keep telling me that they don't need my help because they are the "professionals." Also important to note, this school division does not require their educational assistants to have a para educator diploma or any post secondary education related to the field. They do offer a para educator program of their own for $7,000.00 and the program lasts 6 months, however it is not mandatory to take the program in order to become someones child's aid. Teacher assistants that take this program will only "touch" on autism briefly during the program. Isn't that FANTASTIC?! (Yes, I'm dripping with sarcasm). School division's phone number is 885-1334, contact person is Candice Borger. Candice was awesome on the phone, knew her school division inside out, and was very concerned about Dayton's school experience. Kristi Benwa, the speech therapist, also was very concerned, and was more than happy to talk to me about my ideas for Dayton's education and what works for me at home. I just wish his school was just as open to ideas... Also, I wish they had stronger programming. This school division has no autism programs or adaptive skill programs. http://www.sjsd.net/
Pembina Trails School Division:
There are 33 schools that make up this school division. They have 8 Speech Therapists and 4 Occupational Therapists, all working full time. The para educators (your child's aid) have two years training in something called Rehab Assistance Program. This program is designed to help aids to follow Occupational Therapy programs!!! This kind of makes me giddy! Sounds really good, but I wonder if it's as good as it sounds. Jane Freesen (the director of Clinical Services) was very professional on the phone and answered my questions well, and made me feel like I wasn't wasting her time. I was really impressed with her ease of navigating through her school division like a pro. She didn't seem to hide anything, and didn't give me any run arounds like most of the school divisions. Unfortunately, this school division has no autism program or adaptive skill programs for elementary school children until they hit middle school... School divisions phone number is 488-1757. http://www.pembinatrails.ca/index.html
River East Transcona School Division:
Mary explained to me that the school division consists of 42 schools. The school division has five Occupational Therapists, some working full time, some part time. They have 8 Speech Therapists, and each therapist services six to seven schools. These therapists do not work one on one with children, they observe and make recommendations. The children are observed once every four to six weeks. The para educators do not require training, and can be hired off the street. Education is not mandatory to be a child's aid. There are no autism programs or adaptive skill programs in the school division. Mary was not interested in talking to me, and made me feel like I was pulling teeth for information... The division's phone number is 222-9577. http://www.retsd.mb.ca/
Louis Riel School Division:
One of my favorite bloggers (Welcome to normal, population 0 at http://www.welcome-to-normal.com/) and fellow autism mom had her son enrolled in a school within this division, and each year she tries to put her son back in school, she yanks him out and home schools her children. My son was also in one of their schools and was locked in a closet size room with the lights turned off and no one could find the keys to the room... Numerous suspensions and numerous physical restraints until the day the staff bruised Dayton's face from his ear to his jaw. Knowing this, I still did the research... You can decide for yourself if this is the school division for you. Who knows, maybe they've changed since we last lived in their school division...
Speaking to Lora Molgat, I learned the school division has an autism support teacher, who has her own para educator that goes around and teaches other para educators on autism, compliments no doubt of my autism mom friend who is a strong advocate for her son. This mom has spent countless hours of time advocating and advocating and advocating some more. Yes, I respect this autism mom very dearly...
The division is in charge of forty schools, with four Occupational Therapists and between ten and twelve Speech Therapists. The division has some adaptive skill programs (Lora wouldn't name them or tell me how many), which are reserved for children with severe autism. They do not have any autism programs, and their para educators have five to seven years experience. Some of the para educators have their para educator diploma from Red River College, some don't. Their phone number is 257-7827. http://www.lrsd.net/
Seven Oaks School Division:
Sharon Holderson is the division's Director of Education and Clinical Support Services (ECSS). The division has twenty-one schools, with four Occupational Therapists (two working full time, the other two work part time), six Speech Therapists (four of them work full time, the other two part time) and three Physio Therapists (I was shocked to find out they had Physio Therapists and forgot to ask if they worked full time, sorry). Some para educators have their diploma some don't. The division is moving away from para educators working one on one with children, which I'm not particularly fond of. All para educators have to take a course in Non Violent Crisis Intervention. While this school division has autism programs for middle schools, they have none for elementary schools (what happened to early intervention???) They have no adaptive skill programs. Their phone number (ECSS) is 582-3383 and the school division's number is 586-8061. http://www.7oaks.org/Pages/default.aspx.
And finally...
Winnipeg School Division (aka school division one):
This is Winnipeg's largest school division, in charge of seventy-seven schools. I spoke to Barb Ivans, the special needs coordinator, and Julie Miller, a student support services worker. They weren't able to give me the number of Occupational Therapists. They have thirty-five Speech Therapists, eighty percent are working full time. To work as a para educator in the school division, all you need is your grade twelve diploma. Some aids have their para educator diploma, some don't. Their starting wage for level A (meaning the aid does not work one on one, but is a teacher's helper) is $14.69. Level C and D means the aid is working one on one and they make over $18.00 an hour.
Adaptive skill program school: Prairie Rose, Woolsley, Lord Roberts, Norquay, Inkster and Greenway.
Schools offering autism programs: Robertson, Greenway, Inkster and Montrose.
Winnipeg school division number is 775-0231
Student support services (Julie Miller) number is 788-0203
Barb Ivans' (special needs coordinator) number is 774-4525 (this is the one that made me cry)
http://ww.wsd1.org/
Oh, and by the way, Barb Ivans informed me that even if I moved to Winnipeg School Division, their autism programs and adaptive skill programs are... FULL!!!
NONE OF THE SCHOOL DIVISIONS ACCEPT THE SCHOOL OF CHOICE APPLICATION IF THE CHILD HAS SPECIAL NEEDS!!!
So, ummmmm, what's the point of this application?!
I'm sorry... WHAT?! For those of you that are perturbed along with me, you can reach Marlene Gregory of Manitoba Education who sent me on this freaking wild goose chase for NOTHING at 945-5563
Marlene, if you're reading this post, you can bet I'll be banging on your door for some answers. For those that wish to join me, here's her office address: Room 307, 1181 Portage Avenue, Winnipeg R3G 0T3
And for the record Marlene, you can't get rid of me.
My friends, consider yourselves hugged.
Marlene, no hugs for you. Maybe a foot up the... nah, you're so not worth it.
Lou
Monday, 2 May 2011
Sunday, 1 May 2011
How Autism Changes One's Life
So... some of you out there have been living with autism for a while, and know exactly how the diagnosis affects your life. Some of you out there are friends of mine, or friends of friends, or friends of friends of friends... you know, wanting to be supportive and reading what I post, but sitting there thinking "What the hell is she talking about, I just can't relate..." God bless you for trying! You truly are good friends! Maybe you're new to autism, and wondering what the road ahead looks like. So, let's go to the very beginning, shall we my dears?
Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees... kidding!
Autism, the definition: a group of developmental disabilities that can cause significant communication, social and behavioral challenges. Developmental... what is that? Exactly what is sounds like... the mile stones every child meets are met late... Their learning is impaired... Okey dokey... so ummmmm, what does this look like for those of us involved in the daily care of loved ones with autism?
First, you receive the diagnosis. Just to make our life even more confusing, we have 5 types of autism spectrum disorders, also known as "Pervasive Developmental Disorders." They range from a severe form called autistic disorder, also known as classic autism, to a milder form called Asperger Syndrome. If a child has symptoms of either of these disorders, but does not meet the specific criteria for either, the diagnosis is called pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS. This is the form of autism Dayton is diagnosed with). Other rare, very severe disorders that are included in the autism spectrum disorders are Rett Syndrome and childhood disintegrative disorder. Now that you've got a diagnosis, you must digest it. Delays in your child's development can no longer be explained away by your child being a late bloomer. His or her behavior, actions, delayed speech, quirky behavior and other "delays" are a result of a neurological deficiency... Unless your child has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, your child will be behind academically. For example, my son is half way through grade one, but sits in a grade three classroom, because failing him is NOT an option... Grrr... More of this on the next post, I promise you. The title to look for is "Choosing The Right School Division For Your Child With Autism." You will fight for your child's right to a quality education.
Second, you need to deal with your grief. Once you understand what I've just told you about the diagnosis and you understand the magnitude of what this means, you will grieve for the child you "planned" to have. Denial is first. I remember that one. "They're wrong, let him grow up a little, jeez!" Next on the list will be anger "this is so not fair!!! (and then you throw a huge temper tantrum). Then we have bargaining. Oh yes. "God! Do you hear me?! I'll go to church every Sunday and volunteer at the local shelter for the homeless, just take this autism thingy away!!!" Once you're done bargaining and seeing no results, you get depressed. The depression stage takes the longest to overcome. I still struggle with this one (and here you thought I had it all figured out, didn't 'cha?). Finally, acceptance. Acceptance is awesome, we can't see the light to acceptance at the beginning as we're in denial or too angry to think we'll ever accept it, but once you do, your child will make a serious connection with you. Trust me, I've seen it with Dayton. No one "gets" him better than I do, and he knows it... Well... maybe one more person, grandma Karen...
OK, so we've covered the first two things to get through. These two sound tough, no? Your life's about to get busy, so hang on to your horses (never, EVER say that to my boy... He'll look for them for hours!). Get a calendar, cause your life's about to get busy. Day off? Not with autism! Ready, set go!!!
Now we're gonna dive straight into bureaucracy! Oh yeah! You will be connected to family services and they will get you a support coordinator. Most of these people know nothing about autism, and don't care. You'd have better luck of winning the lotto or finding the Loch Ness Monster than finding a good support coordinator. I've found one, but I'm not sharing. I'll fight you before I let her go! Then you have to get speech therapy, occupational therapy, physio therapy, all of which you can only get before your child starts school. If your child doesn't get the diagnosis before age three, you're pretty much SOL or s..t out of luck. This is the case with my little guy. I fought for four years to get his diagnosis, and he finally got it, three months before turning eight years old. Unless of course you have a bottomless pit of cash, well then of course you can have services, any freaking service you want, including a diagnosis! I don't think there's many of us out there with this kind of money. As it is, I'm spending just under $500.00 a month for Dayton's medications and social skills group. I'm not going to go into how much I spend for Dayton's supplements, diet and coming up soon, Kumon Learning since the school can't teach him anything.
Once services are in place, your schedule fills up pretty quickly. I can also tell you that therapy is ON GOING, even after the therapist has left. It is up to the parents to follow through with the therapy, not the therapists. It is especially important to follow through when in public. This is where your child will learn to generalize what was learned in therapy and apply it to real life situations. During my medical leave, I can honestly tell you I've been so much busier staying at home than I have been going to work! By the time 7pm rolls around, I'm ready for sleep.
Schedule, schedule and schedule your child's day! These kids thrive on schedules for two reasons: once, it shows them what to expect during their day. Two, it also shows them that some of their favorite things are included during the day. I know for Dayton video games are super important, and I need to have a picture of a gaming remote in his picture schedule if I want him to comply to any change in his daily routine.
We're not done yet, we still have all the follow up appointments at the doctor's office and by the support coordinator and CFS if you have them involved to advocate on behalf of your child in the school system. Yes, managing the care of a child with autism is a FULL TIME job. Only thing is, this full time job lives with you. There is no break, and God help you if you get sick, because there's no one for you to call to "cover your shift."
We love our children, they are the air we breathe, with or without a diagnosis. With a diagnosis of autism, we still give our children everything that goes into raising a child, the affection and love any child gets from their parents is the same for us. The difference is during our play time... During play time, every move I make stems from something I've learned from a therapist.
So, if you yourself don't have a child with an autism diagnosis, but have friends that do, cut them some slack when you ask them out and they say they're tired and would rather you come over to their house instead. Their child is surrounded by their toys and the parent's saving grace - their bed when bed time comes. Maybe offer to babysit so the parent can take a nap. I'd kill for a nap right about now. Offer them an ear to vent. I've been fortunate to have a good grandma for Dayton, grandma Karen who is always listening to me rant and rave without complaining. She's been a rock of support to me and an amazing grandma to Dayton. She actually "gets" Dayton and he knows it. He loves her for it.
If you've received a diagnosis in your life just recently, don't look at this post and start crying, please!!! While yes, you will be working with your child much more than a parent of a typical child needs to, believe me when I tell you, it's all worth it. I wouldn't change my son for the world! But I wish I could change this world for Dayton. Remember, everyday God takes you by the hand and says, "No matter how difficult the path you tread... I will never leave your side."
Consider yourselves hugged!
Lou
Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees... kidding!
Autism, the definition: a group of developmental disabilities that can cause significant communication, social and behavioral challenges. Developmental... what is that? Exactly what is sounds like... the mile stones every child meets are met late... Their learning is impaired... Okey dokey... so ummmmm, what does this look like for those of us involved in the daily care of loved ones with autism?
First, you receive the diagnosis. Just to make our life even more confusing, we have 5 types of autism spectrum disorders, also known as "Pervasive Developmental Disorders." They range from a severe form called autistic disorder, also known as classic autism, to a milder form called Asperger Syndrome. If a child has symptoms of either of these disorders, but does not meet the specific criteria for either, the diagnosis is called pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS. This is the form of autism Dayton is diagnosed with). Other rare, very severe disorders that are included in the autism spectrum disorders are Rett Syndrome and childhood disintegrative disorder. Now that you've got a diagnosis, you must digest it. Delays in your child's development can no longer be explained away by your child being a late bloomer. His or her behavior, actions, delayed speech, quirky behavior and other "delays" are a result of a neurological deficiency... Unless your child has been diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, your child will be behind academically. For example, my son is half way through grade one, but sits in a grade three classroom, because failing him is NOT an option... Grrr... More of this on the next post, I promise you. The title to look for is "Choosing The Right School Division For Your Child With Autism." You will fight for your child's right to a quality education.
Second, you need to deal with your grief. Once you understand what I've just told you about the diagnosis and you understand the magnitude of what this means, you will grieve for the child you "planned" to have. Denial is first. I remember that one. "They're wrong, let him grow up a little, jeez!" Next on the list will be anger "this is so not fair!!! (and then you throw a huge temper tantrum). Then we have bargaining. Oh yes. "God! Do you hear me?! I'll go to church every Sunday and volunteer at the local shelter for the homeless, just take this autism thingy away!!!" Once you're done bargaining and seeing no results, you get depressed. The depression stage takes the longest to overcome. I still struggle with this one (and here you thought I had it all figured out, didn't 'cha?). Finally, acceptance. Acceptance is awesome, we can't see the light to acceptance at the beginning as we're in denial or too angry to think we'll ever accept it, but once you do, your child will make a serious connection with you. Trust me, I've seen it with Dayton. No one "gets" him better than I do, and he knows it... Well... maybe one more person, grandma Karen...
OK, so we've covered the first two things to get through. These two sound tough, no? Your life's about to get busy, so hang on to your horses (never, EVER say that to my boy... He'll look for them for hours!). Get a calendar, cause your life's about to get busy. Day off? Not with autism! Ready, set go!!!
Now we're gonna dive straight into bureaucracy! Oh yeah! You will be connected to family services and they will get you a support coordinator. Most of these people know nothing about autism, and don't care. You'd have better luck of winning the lotto or finding the Loch Ness Monster than finding a good support coordinator. I've found one, but I'm not sharing. I'll fight you before I let her go! Then you have to get speech therapy, occupational therapy, physio therapy, all of which you can only get before your child starts school. If your child doesn't get the diagnosis before age three, you're pretty much SOL or s..t out of luck. This is the case with my little guy. I fought for four years to get his diagnosis, and he finally got it, three months before turning eight years old. Unless of course you have a bottomless pit of cash, well then of course you can have services, any freaking service you want, including a diagnosis! I don't think there's many of us out there with this kind of money. As it is, I'm spending just under $500.00 a month for Dayton's medications and social skills group. I'm not going to go into how much I spend for Dayton's supplements, diet and coming up soon, Kumon Learning since the school can't teach him anything.
Once services are in place, your schedule fills up pretty quickly. I can also tell you that therapy is ON GOING, even after the therapist has left. It is up to the parents to follow through with the therapy, not the therapists. It is especially important to follow through when in public. This is where your child will learn to generalize what was learned in therapy and apply it to real life situations. During my medical leave, I can honestly tell you I've been so much busier staying at home than I have been going to work! By the time 7pm rolls around, I'm ready for sleep.
Schedule, schedule and schedule your child's day! These kids thrive on schedules for two reasons: once, it shows them what to expect during their day. Two, it also shows them that some of their favorite things are included during the day. I know for Dayton video games are super important, and I need to have a picture of a gaming remote in his picture schedule if I want him to comply to any change in his daily routine.
We're not done yet, we still have all the follow up appointments at the doctor's office and by the support coordinator and CFS if you have them involved to advocate on behalf of your child in the school system. Yes, managing the care of a child with autism is a FULL TIME job. Only thing is, this full time job lives with you. There is no break, and God help you if you get sick, because there's no one for you to call to "cover your shift."
We love our children, they are the air we breathe, with or without a diagnosis. With a diagnosis of autism, we still give our children everything that goes into raising a child, the affection and love any child gets from their parents is the same for us. The difference is during our play time... During play time, every move I make stems from something I've learned from a therapist.
So, if you yourself don't have a child with an autism diagnosis, but have friends that do, cut them some slack when you ask them out and they say they're tired and would rather you come over to their house instead. Their child is surrounded by their toys and the parent's saving grace - their bed when bed time comes. Maybe offer to babysit so the parent can take a nap. I'd kill for a nap right about now. Offer them an ear to vent. I've been fortunate to have a good grandma for Dayton, grandma Karen who is always listening to me rant and rave without complaining. She's been a rock of support to me and an amazing grandma to Dayton. She actually "gets" Dayton and he knows it. He loves her for it.
If you've received a diagnosis in your life just recently, don't look at this post and start crying, please!!! While yes, you will be working with your child much more than a parent of a typical child needs to, believe me when I tell you, it's all worth it. I wouldn't change my son for the world! But I wish I could change this world for Dayton. Remember, everyday God takes you by the hand and says, "No matter how difficult the path you tread... I will never leave your side."
Consider yourselves hugged!
Lou
Friday, 29 April 2011
Common Sense So Rare It's A Super Power
Before Dayton's diagnosis of PDD-NOS (a very, very high functioning form of autism), with no IEP (Individual Education Plan) in place, Dayton was failing kindergarten of all grades. When I asked the school to hold him back and that I believed Dayton should repeat kindergarten as he started it late (in November, due to daycare issues), I was informed that the school division did not believe in failing students, and no, as a parent, I did not have the right to hold my child back a year. While agreeing with me that Dayton did not meet the educational expectations for the school year, and that he would most likely not be school ready for grade one, the division's policy is not to fail him. Would Dayton have even understood that he had failed kindergarten unless the teacher pointed this out to him? Most likely not. Failing kindergarten made perfect sense to me. Especially since life got in the way. My intent was to hold him back till the following year to enroll him in Kindergarten...
My little man didn't meet the educational expectations for grade one either. Although this year, he did have an IEP in place. "Can we please hold him back and have him repeat grade one?" "No, we don't believe in failing students... Even living in a different school division didn't help solve Dayton's educational needs. The rules are the rules... What about education?! I gave up discussing keeping Dayton back in grade two. He is now in grade three, and has not mastered the basics of reading, writing and mathematics. He is coming home very frustrated, telling me his brain hurts. The teacher does not believe in sending homework home for her students, so I do my best to try making some homework for him. I purchased a grade one curriculum book from Scholar's choice (Dayton's cognitive skills are of a child half way through grade one), and he looks at me and says "What's the point momma, I'm stupid." Yes... social promotion (continually passing him from one grade to the next, whether or not he's met the educational expectations) is definitely helping his self esteem, isn't it?! It seems to me that Dayton's low self esteem stems from not mastering the basics as the rest of his class has. Furthermore, perhaps failing a grade would motivate him to work in the classroom setting... Dayton struggles to do this not only because of his diagnoses of PDD-NOS, ADHD, and global delays, but because his full time aid is not trained to guide him to do his work. The aid is not in charge of my child, Dayton is in charge of him as well as the class. The school corrects his behavior by suspending him... Let's get serious for a moment, shall we? Suspending a child at 7, 8 and 9 years old is not a consequence to the child. It is a punishment for the parent. And yes, Dayton has been suspended since he was 7 years old. His view of suspension is not "oops, I really messed up, I need to get my act together." His view is more like "thank God I'm out of here!!!" Sometimes children need CONSEQUENCES in order to be motivated. If it is truly embarrassing and a blow to a child's self esteem to fail a grade, then perhaps facing the consequence of failing will motivate children to work. Worked for me as a kid. Makes sense to me!
I had a candid discussion with Dayton's principal last Thursday, discussing keeping Dayton back a year and having him repeat grade three next year. I tried explaining to her that Dayton is fully aware that the rest of the class is far more advanced than Dayton, that it's no wonder that Dayton doesn't want to work in the classroom. He's totally fine sitting on his own and listening to his teacher talk to the class, but once he's put into a "group discussion" with the other kids, he hides under his desk or misbehaves so he doesn't have to show his "group" that he doesn't understand what he should be doing... Dayton's behavior is becoming out of control, and then I get the phone call to come pick him up early from school... Every grade continues on the basics learned from the previous grade, and Dayton has missed so much! And all this with a "full time aid at his side." I stated my fears on what will happen when Dayton is older, expected to open a text book to learn about Science or English and expected to produce a report, when he can't read or write.
The principal told me not to worry, as teachers no longer taught "curriculum" and taught each individual student by their learning capacity and that teaching from a text book is a thing of the past. No one learns from text books anymore... ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Furthermore, the principal insist on passing Dayton to grade four next year, as it is more harmful to his self esteem if he has to repeat a grade than it is not meeting the educational expectations. My son's self esteem has crashed to zero by knowing he is far behind his peers, and she sees him repeating grade three as being offensive to his self esteem? What about his education?! I need him to be able to read a job application and fill it out when he's eighteen... I know I'm worrying way too much and thinking way too far ahead in the future, but my goodness... Why is the school system not as concerned as I am about Dayton's progress? While I realize that his autism provides him with an IEP because of his learning disability, it doesn't mean he shouldn't be taught!
Every school division in Winnipeg has adopted this policy!!! Words can not describe how insane I think this policy is. My child needs an education! Every child out there needs an education! What about our children's future? Again, I'm not talking only about children with special needs, I'm talking about our future LITERALLY. We seem to be a generation away from barbarism. "Oh, you can't read? No worries kid, you're gonna pass anyway... You can't do basic math? Don't worry about it mom and dad, we won't fail him." So these kids are going to pass their current grade, but what about the following year where they continue where they've left off in reading and math, building on what they were supposed to have learned the year before? How do you expect these kids to build on what they haven't mastered?!
I am not concerned only about my son. I am also concerned with children who are deemed "normal." Ugh! I hate that word: "normal." We view schools as the place for children to gain knowledge, skills and values to live their lives effectively as workers and citizens. While I agree that this is also the parents role in their child's education, the school is ultimately responsible for their education, otherwise, why would we send our kids to school? Our children, our future, are graduating high school and at least half of them are graduating without meeting the educational expectations!!! Did you not see them last week at the annual 4/20 marijuana protest rally in front of the legislation building? My neighbor's daughter was telling me that half of her high school population was there!
My friend's son who is 6 years old and in grade one has no disability label. Early in the year, at the end of September, my friend was approached by her son's teacher and told her that her little guy needs a "reading recovery program" because he was not reading as well as the rest of the class. It is now April, and the little guy is STILL ON A WAITING LIST. Will the school fail him? Absolutely not. Whether or not he learns to read is not as important as his "social promotion." The little guy will be going to grade two next September, whether or not he is able to read, putting him farther and farther behind the rest of his peers, because they don't want to hurt his "self esteem." Can they honestly not see that his inability to read is hurting his self esteem more? Can they not see that being able to master the basics of reading will give him the self esteem they are trying to give him in the first place? No, no... sending him home with the same book at minimum of twice a week titled "Buttons Buttons" will help his self esteem. The poor kid has the book memorized, and is not even looking at the pages or the words on the page. Does this sound like true learning? No to this little boy's parent it doesn't, and it doesn't to me either. Even though my friend wrote a note to her son's teacher, asking not to send this book home with him again, they disregarded her note and sent "Buttons Buttons" back home with the little guy the very next day!!! In what moment of insanity did someone decide that this is acceptable? Can they not find a book on zippers or something?! Anything?! If that's all they have to read, I think we're in some serious trouble... It just doesn't make sense!
I do have one thing to be grateful for... My step daughter Charlie-Anne... she is every teacher's dream student. She's smart, she's funny, and she CARES about her education. She is on the honor roll and is not easily distracted by her peers. She knows her education is important. Thank God her mother raised her so well!
Every single school division has different funding for their students. Even if I move to school division one, my son can not attend their Autism Programs because they are full?! Marlene Gregory of the Manitoba Education "student services," suggested that I fill out a "school of choice application form" and have it submitted by May 15th, giving me false hope for my son's future education. More on this topic with my next post titled "Choosing The Right School Division For Your Child With Autism." I'm hoping to get this post done for you for Monday. It will explain all six school divisions along with the wild goose chase Marlene Gregory sent me out on. I'm not a happy girl.
It seems that Winnipeg schools are not the only ones lacking common sense. All of North America has adopted this same type of educational standards, believing in social promotion verses education. Numerous books have been published on the subject, and it seems that our generation of educators have not only lost all common sense but completely lost their minds. While there are teachers that do not agree with passing students who obviously have not met the educational standards, the principals are forced by their school divisions to continue passing students, whether or not they are able to read, write, or master the basics of mathematics. As a parent, I have a major problem with this. I rely on the school to teach my child how to read and write, and yet, my son can't do either. It appears I may have to take Dayton to a Sylvan Learning or a Kumon Learning Centre in order to have Dayton learn how to read and write and learn math. Where the heck is the common sense in this? I'd like my tax money back, because this is NOT WORKING FOR ME!!! And because it's not working, I need my tax money back to be able to enroll Dayton into one of these learning centres, as they're not cheap, and I don't think I should have to pay for the programs since I'm already paying for Dayton to go to school and learn these basics! It just doesn't make sense to have to pay twice for his education.
There are some good teachers out there, who wish their hands were not tied behind their back. They too have a problem with passing students for the sake of social promotion. In saying this, I don't think that a special needs student should necessarily fail every year. We need to draw the line somewhere. Let's face it, some on the Autism Spectrum are not going to graduate with a regular grade 12 diploma, but for those that are able, they should be expected to. You may or may not agree with me, and that's OK. But being a year behind your peers is not the end of the world. Some parents with children on the spectrum have held their children back a year before placing them in Kindergarten, which is what my original plan was with Dayton. But then life happened... another story for another day. My point is that parents know their children best, and since the child in question is our flesh and blood, the air we breath, as parents, we have the best intentions for our child and should have a CHOICE in how our child's education continues. Makes sense to me. WE SHOULD HAVE A CHOICE!!! Should we as parents not be able to have the choice of failing our child?! Does it not make sense to have us involved in our child's education?!
For those thinking I'm on crack for the above opinions, you may want to stop reading this post right now. It's not going to get much better for you, and I don't really like hate mail... and as you can see, I'm pretty angry, and just might respond to them... Not good for any of us.
For those of you that are in agreement with my opinion, I encourage you to check out this book:
As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm using my medical leave to read, read, and read anything to do with education and autism. Reading this book, I thought maybe Michael Zwaagstra followed me for the last five years and wrote a book about my fight for Dayton's education. I have posted a few newspaper articles on Michael Zwaagstra on my facebook page and the Autism Winnipeg facebook page. Having an exceptionally bad day, I looked the man up, found his phone number and called his home in tears. His poor wife had to calm me down enough to understand what I was saying in between sobs. She gave me her husband's email address and assured me that while Mr. Zwaagstra was a busy man, he would return my call as soon as he could. And he did. He called me that same night.
We talked for over an hour on the phone. He patiently listened to Dayton's story of discrimination in the school system, and tried his best to comfort me. He offered to send me two chapters of the above mentioned book. I read them. I bought the book and downloaded it on my ever faithful Kindle.
When I read chapter 3, I needed clarification... Here's my email to Mr. Zwaagstra:
Hi Michael,
I've just literally finished reading chapter 3 of your book, and need some clarification. While I understand that children with intent to disrupt the class or show lack of respect to the staff of the school need to be punished, what is your take on children with a neurological difference? For example, Dayton's auto pilot word these days is "no." He could have a huge grin on his face and be laughing, yet when I ask him if he's having fun, he will say "no." In the school setting, when asked to do work, Dayton says no. Without asking questions such as "what, where, when, who and how" and remembering not to ask "why," Dayton is not able to articulate "why" he's saying no. Sometimes I also have to draw pictures for him.
A clear example of Dayton's misunderstanding was when I got a note from the principal saying that Dayton didn't like this little girl playing with a boy, so he hit her in the head and dragged the boy away from her. In Dayton's view, the little girl was attacking the little boy and he was trying to help him by dragging him away from her. He does not remember hitting her and swears if he did, it was by accident. Naturally, the school staff wasn't able to get a clear picture from Dayton, leaving that work to me, in the mean time the damage was done. What sort of discipline or action would you recommend in this case?
Mr. Zwaagstra's email response to me:
Hi Lou,
As you noted in your email, chapter 3 is intended primarily at situations where students purposefully break the rules. It is important for rules to be stated clearly ahead of time and consistently enforced as this makes it possible to have an orderly learning environment. It also benefits special needs students for whom order and structure in the school is particularly important.
It's difficult for me to suggest a specific course of action in Dayton's case since I have not met him and did not witness the scene. The first question that comes up for me is where was his EA during this process? This is the type of incident that regular adult supervision is supposed to prevent from happening in the first place.
In this particular case, Dayton would need to be removed from the playground for the rest of this recess since the other boy and girl need to be protected. The supervising teacher and/or principal should speak with Dayton about his behaviour and explain to him that hitting is not acceptable and that even if he thought the boy was attacking the girl, he can best help her by telling a teacher right away.
Again, not having met Dayton personally or witnessed the situation myself, that's about as specific as I can get. The point of chapter 3 is to set out general principles of discipline that apply to intentional acts of disobedience rather than provide a detailed set of guidelines for unique situations.
Hope this helps.
Michael
Yeah it helps! I have a direct link to the author to explain what I don't understand! Thank you Mr. Zwaagstra!!! And you know what? He never got defensive with me on any of his "opinions." He patiently, and I mean patiently explained his points and views. What I would give to have him teach my son!!!
Mr. Zwaagsta is not just an author. He is a high school teacher, right here in Manitoba. He educates children with special needs and the typical kids. His view is very much the same as mine... There's a problem with today's education system and we need to fix it. In his book, he talks about school of choice, the Edmonton model which I would give my right arm to have implemented in Manitoba. This would not only benefit children on the Autism Spectrum, but typical children as well. Our special needs kids would not be herded into a building as a dumping ground for the inept and hopeless... They would have educated staff to help them cope with their autism, as each school would "specialize" in something. One school division, one Super Intendant, and NO DIVISION LINES. I could put Dayton in school division one, which has autism programs! Wouldn't that be heaven?! Maybe we could make Mr. Zwaagstra our Super Intendant!!!
The first time I called Mr. Zwaagstra, I begged for help. The man gave me help. He not only responded to every single email and phone call I made to him, he contacted everyone he knew who had an understanding of autism to help me. He forwarded all of their emails to me. Every single one. Every contact believed my son could be fully integrated in the public school system with supports in place. Not one of them suggested Dayton be segregated into a dumping ground for the hopeless..
Thank you Michael Zwaagstra. Thank you for your kindness, your concern and your passion for education. I wish more people took education as seriously as you do. Your students are truly blessed to have you be an influence in their lives.
Consider yourselves hugged, and thank you for taking the time to read this long winded post.
Lou
My little man didn't meet the educational expectations for grade one either. Although this year, he did have an IEP in place. "Can we please hold him back and have him repeat grade one?" "No, we don't believe in failing students... Even living in a different school division didn't help solve Dayton's educational needs. The rules are the rules... What about education?! I gave up discussing keeping Dayton back in grade two. He is now in grade three, and has not mastered the basics of reading, writing and mathematics. He is coming home very frustrated, telling me his brain hurts. The teacher does not believe in sending homework home for her students, so I do my best to try making some homework for him. I purchased a grade one curriculum book from Scholar's choice (Dayton's cognitive skills are of a child half way through grade one), and he looks at me and says "What's the point momma, I'm stupid." Yes... social promotion (continually passing him from one grade to the next, whether or not he's met the educational expectations) is definitely helping his self esteem, isn't it?! It seems to me that Dayton's low self esteem stems from not mastering the basics as the rest of his class has. Furthermore, perhaps failing a grade would motivate him to work in the classroom setting... Dayton struggles to do this not only because of his diagnoses of PDD-NOS, ADHD, and global delays, but because his full time aid is not trained to guide him to do his work. The aid is not in charge of my child, Dayton is in charge of him as well as the class. The school corrects his behavior by suspending him... Let's get serious for a moment, shall we? Suspending a child at 7, 8 and 9 years old is not a consequence to the child. It is a punishment for the parent. And yes, Dayton has been suspended since he was 7 years old. His view of suspension is not "oops, I really messed up, I need to get my act together." His view is more like "thank God I'm out of here!!!" Sometimes children need CONSEQUENCES in order to be motivated. If it is truly embarrassing and a blow to a child's self esteem to fail a grade, then perhaps facing the consequence of failing will motivate children to work. Worked for me as a kid. Makes sense to me!
I had a candid discussion with Dayton's principal last Thursday, discussing keeping Dayton back a year and having him repeat grade three next year. I tried explaining to her that Dayton is fully aware that the rest of the class is far more advanced than Dayton, that it's no wonder that Dayton doesn't want to work in the classroom. He's totally fine sitting on his own and listening to his teacher talk to the class, but once he's put into a "group discussion" with the other kids, he hides under his desk or misbehaves so he doesn't have to show his "group" that he doesn't understand what he should be doing... Dayton's behavior is becoming out of control, and then I get the phone call to come pick him up early from school... Every grade continues on the basics learned from the previous grade, and Dayton has missed so much! And all this with a "full time aid at his side." I stated my fears on what will happen when Dayton is older, expected to open a text book to learn about Science or English and expected to produce a report, when he can't read or write.
The principal told me not to worry, as teachers no longer taught "curriculum" and taught each individual student by their learning capacity and that teaching from a text book is a thing of the past. No one learns from text books anymore... ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Furthermore, the principal insist on passing Dayton to grade four next year, as it is more harmful to his self esteem if he has to repeat a grade than it is not meeting the educational expectations. My son's self esteem has crashed to zero by knowing he is far behind his peers, and she sees him repeating grade three as being offensive to his self esteem? What about his education?! I need him to be able to read a job application and fill it out when he's eighteen... I know I'm worrying way too much and thinking way too far ahead in the future, but my goodness... Why is the school system not as concerned as I am about Dayton's progress? While I realize that his autism provides him with an IEP because of his learning disability, it doesn't mean he shouldn't be taught!
Every school division in Winnipeg has adopted this policy!!! Words can not describe how insane I think this policy is. My child needs an education! Every child out there needs an education! What about our children's future? Again, I'm not talking only about children with special needs, I'm talking about our future LITERALLY. We seem to be a generation away from barbarism. "Oh, you can't read? No worries kid, you're gonna pass anyway... You can't do basic math? Don't worry about it mom and dad, we won't fail him." So these kids are going to pass their current grade, but what about the following year where they continue where they've left off in reading and math, building on what they were supposed to have learned the year before? How do you expect these kids to build on what they haven't mastered?!
I am not concerned only about my son. I am also concerned with children who are deemed "normal." Ugh! I hate that word: "normal." We view schools as the place for children to gain knowledge, skills and values to live their lives effectively as workers and citizens. While I agree that this is also the parents role in their child's education, the school is ultimately responsible for their education, otherwise, why would we send our kids to school? Our children, our future, are graduating high school and at least half of them are graduating without meeting the educational expectations!!! Did you not see them last week at the annual 4/20 marijuana protest rally in front of the legislation building? My neighbor's daughter was telling me that half of her high school population was there!
My friend's son who is 6 years old and in grade one has no disability label. Early in the year, at the end of September, my friend was approached by her son's teacher and told her that her little guy needs a "reading recovery program" because he was not reading as well as the rest of the class. It is now April, and the little guy is STILL ON A WAITING LIST. Will the school fail him? Absolutely not. Whether or not he learns to read is not as important as his "social promotion." The little guy will be going to grade two next September, whether or not he is able to read, putting him farther and farther behind the rest of his peers, because they don't want to hurt his "self esteem." Can they honestly not see that his inability to read is hurting his self esteem more? Can they not see that being able to master the basics of reading will give him the self esteem they are trying to give him in the first place? No, no... sending him home with the same book at minimum of twice a week titled "Buttons Buttons" will help his self esteem. The poor kid has the book memorized, and is not even looking at the pages or the words on the page. Does this sound like true learning? No to this little boy's parent it doesn't, and it doesn't to me either. Even though my friend wrote a note to her son's teacher, asking not to send this book home with him again, they disregarded her note and sent "Buttons Buttons" back home with the little guy the very next day!!! In what moment of insanity did someone decide that this is acceptable? Can they not find a book on zippers or something?! Anything?! If that's all they have to read, I think we're in some serious trouble... It just doesn't make sense!
I do have one thing to be grateful for... My step daughter Charlie-Anne... she is every teacher's dream student. She's smart, she's funny, and she CARES about her education. She is on the honor roll and is not easily distracted by her peers. She knows her education is important. Thank God her mother raised her so well!
Every single school division has different funding for their students. Even if I move to school division one, my son can not attend their Autism Programs because they are full?! Marlene Gregory of the Manitoba Education "student services," suggested that I fill out a "school of choice application form" and have it submitted by May 15th, giving me false hope for my son's future education. More on this topic with my next post titled "Choosing The Right School Division For Your Child With Autism." I'm hoping to get this post done for you for Monday. It will explain all six school divisions along with the wild goose chase Marlene Gregory sent me out on. I'm not a happy girl.
It seems that Winnipeg schools are not the only ones lacking common sense. All of North America has adopted this same type of educational standards, believing in social promotion verses education. Numerous books have been published on the subject, and it seems that our generation of educators have not only lost all common sense but completely lost their minds. While there are teachers that do not agree with passing students who obviously have not met the educational standards, the principals are forced by their school divisions to continue passing students, whether or not they are able to read, write, or master the basics of mathematics. As a parent, I have a major problem with this. I rely on the school to teach my child how to read and write, and yet, my son can't do either. It appears I may have to take Dayton to a Sylvan Learning or a Kumon Learning Centre in order to have Dayton learn how to read and write and learn math. Where the heck is the common sense in this? I'd like my tax money back, because this is NOT WORKING FOR ME!!! And because it's not working, I need my tax money back to be able to enroll Dayton into one of these learning centres, as they're not cheap, and I don't think I should have to pay for the programs since I'm already paying for Dayton to go to school and learn these basics! It just doesn't make sense to have to pay twice for his education.
There are some good teachers out there, who wish their hands were not tied behind their back. They too have a problem with passing students for the sake of social promotion. In saying this, I don't think that a special needs student should necessarily fail every year. We need to draw the line somewhere. Let's face it, some on the Autism Spectrum are not going to graduate with a regular grade 12 diploma, but for those that are able, they should be expected to. You may or may not agree with me, and that's OK. But being a year behind your peers is not the end of the world. Some parents with children on the spectrum have held their children back a year before placing them in Kindergarten, which is what my original plan was with Dayton. But then life happened... another story for another day. My point is that parents know their children best, and since the child in question is our flesh and blood, the air we breath, as parents, we have the best intentions for our child and should have a CHOICE in how our child's education continues. Makes sense to me. WE SHOULD HAVE A CHOICE!!! Should we as parents not be able to have the choice of failing our child?! Does it not make sense to have us involved in our child's education?!
For those thinking I'm on crack for the above opinions, you may want to stop reading this post right now. It's not going to get much better for you, and I don't really like hate mail... and as you can see, I'm pretty angry, and just might respond to them... Not good for any of us.
For those of you that are in agreement with my opinion, I encourage you to check out this book:
As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm using my medical leave to read, read, and read anything to do with education and autism. Reading this book, I thought maybe Michael Zwaagstra followed me for the last five years and wrote a book about my fight for Dayton's education. I have posted a few newspaper articles on Michael Zwaagstra on my facebook page and the Autism Winnipeg facebook page. Having an exceptionally bad day, I looked the man up, found his phone number and called his home in tears. His poor wife had to calm me down enough to understand what I was saying in between sobs. She gave me her husband's email address and assured me that while Mr. Zwaagstra was a busy man, he would return my call as soon as he could. And he did. He called me that same night.
We talked for over an hour on the phone. He patiently listened to Dayton's story of discrimination in the school system, and tried his best to comfort me. He offered to send me two chapters of the above mentioned book. I read them. I bought the book and downloaded it on my ever faithful Kindle.
When I read chapter 3, I needed clarification... Here's my email to Mr. Zwaagstra:
Hi Michael,
I've just literally finished reading chapter 3 of your book, and need some clarification. While I understand that children with intent to disrupt the class or show lack of respect to the staff of the school need to be punished, what is your take on children with a neurological difference? For example, Dayton's auto pilot word these days is "no." He could have a huge grin on his face and be laughing, yet when I ask him if he's having fun, he will say "no." In the school setting, when asked to do work, Dayton says no. Without asking questions such as "what, where, when, who and how" and remembering not to ask "why," Dayton is not able to articulate "why" he's saying no. Sometimes I also have to draw pictures for him.
A clear example of Dayton's misunderstanding was when I got a note from the principal saying that Dayton didn't like this little girl playing with a boy, so he hit her in the head and dragged the boy away from her. In Dayton's view, the little girl was attacking the little boy and he was trying to help him by dragging him away from her. He does not remember hitting her and swears if he did, it was by accident. Naturally, the school staff wasn't able to get a clear picture from Dayton, leaving that work to me, in the mean time the damage was done. What sort of discipline or action would you recommend in this case?
Mr. Zwaagstra's email response to me:
Hi Lou,
As you noted in your email, chapter 3 is intended primarily at situations where students purposefully break the rules. It is important for rules to be stated clearly ahead of time and consistently enforced as this makes it possible to have an orderly learning environment. It also benefits special needs students for whom order and structure in the school is particularly important.
It's difficult for me to suggest a specific course of action in Dayton's case since I have not met him and did not witness the scene. The first question that comes up for me is where was his EA during this process? This is the type of incident that regular adult supervision is supposed to prevent from happening in the first place.
In this particular case, Dayton would need to be removed from the playground for the rest of this recess since the other boy and girl need to be protected. The supervising teacher and/or principal should speak with Dayton about his behaviour and explain to him that hitting is not acceptable and that even if he thought the boy was attacking the girl, he can best help her by telling a teacher right away.
Again, not having met Dayton personally or witnessed the situation myself, that's about as specific as I can get. The point of chapter 3 is to set out general principles of discipline that apply to intentional acts of disobedience rather than provide a detailed set of guidelines for unique situations.
Hope this helps.
Michael
Yeah it helps! I have a direct link to the author to explain what I don't understand! Thank you Mr. Zwaagstra!!! And you know what? He never got defensive with me on any of his "opinions." He patiently, and I mean patiently explained his points and views. What I would give to have him teach my son!!!
Mr. Zwaagsta is not just an author. He is a high school teacher, right here in Manitoba. He educates children with special needs and the typical kids. His view is very much the same as mine... There's a problem with today's education system and we need to fix it. In his book, he talks about school of choice, the Edmonton model which I would give my right arm to have implemented in Manitoba. This would not only benefit children on the Autism Spectrum, but typical children as well. Our special needs kids would not be herded into a building as a dumping ground for the inept and hopeless... They would have educated staff to help them cope with their autism, as each school would "specialize" in something. One school division, one Super Intendant, and NO DIVISION LINES. I could put Dayton in school division one, which has autism programs! Wouldn't that be heaven?! Maybe we could make Mr. Zwaagstra our Super Intendant!!!
The first time I called Mr. Zwaagstra, I begged for help. The man gave me help. He not only responded to every single email and phone call I made to him, he contacted everyone he knew who had an understanding of autism to help me. He forwarded all of their emails to me. Every single one. Every contact believed my son could be fully integrated in the public school system with supports in place. Not one of them suggested Dayton be segregated into a dumping ground for the hopeless..
Thank you Michael Zwaagstra. Thank you for your kindness, your concern and your passion for education. I wish more people took education as seriously as you do. Your students are truly blessed to have you be an influence in their lives.
Consider yourselves hugged, and thank you for taking the time to read this long winded post.
Lou
Thursday, 28 April 2011
What The Hell is This Teacher's Problem?! I'm No Mother Teresa, But What The Hell?!
It's one of those days that you want to make a tinfoil Viking helm, stand in the corner with a broken broomstick and threaten everyone in a bad German accent!!!
All right, like seriously?! I'm super mad, and I don't know what to do about it. I suppose there's really nothing I can really do, other than sit here and stew... Ugh!!! I hate Dayton's school so much!!! Really, this post should be titled Rant 103, but I can't take the "Rant" series from Wendy, it just wouldn't be fair. But Oh My God!!!
So, last Wednesday, I get a class assignment from Dayton's school on "poetry." The students are to pick a poem and memorize it. The assignment is graded on memorization (no problem), how fast the student is presenting the poem (may have a smidgen of a problem here, since Dayton rattles things off as fast as he can so he can get whatever it is done and over with, he has no patience), does the student speak monotone (are you for real?! Yes, my son speaks in monotone most of the time!), does the student make eye contact (Oh My God... Lord help me, I'm on my knees begging you to help my baby get through this!!! Dayton has autism, so HE HATES MAKING EYE CONTACT), does the student gesture naturally or does he/she look uncomfortable (Seriously?! Gesture? Is this a play or a freaking poem?! And no, Dayton won't gesture anything, nor will he look comfortable. He pretends he's invisible for a reason!!!), is the poem challenging for the student? I can actually feel a brain aneurysm coming on. There's a pain starting in behind my left eye and I swear my right arm's gone numb.
I discuss the assignment with Dayton. "Did you talk about poems in class today?"
"No."
"Oh... do you know what a poem is Dayton?"
"No."
"Hmmmmm... there's a homework assignment here (his second one this year), and it says you're suppose to memorize it. Are you sure you weren't given another paper, a paper with poems on it?"
"No."
"No you're not sure, or no you didn't get a paper with poems?"
"No paper with poems."
Awesome! How the hell is Dayton supposed to pick a poem? Google poems? How does the teacher determine what is "challenging" enough? Are we talking Shakespeare? My headache got worse and worse as I described the assignment to Dayton, who started freaking out... I made him a nice warm bubble bath, set up Sponge Bob Square Pants, and rocked him to sleep. My poor babe...
The next day my friend's in a bind and can't pick up her little guy from school, (the little guy is Dayton's only after school buddy) so I volunteer to pick up both of the boys. Both boys go to the same school, so it's not a big deal... I call the school to inform them that I will be picking up the boys from school, so they can cancel Dayton's bus and get Dayton's weekly reading material ready for me to pick up. After saying hello and asking how the receptionist was, I introduced myself as Dayton's mom, and she interrupted me with an "perfect timing!" and the line goes silent. I'm thinking did the woman hang up on me? Did she put me on hold? Better wait and find out. Then I thought, "wha'dya mean 'perfect timing?' What the..."
"Hello Lou! Did you know I was just about to call you? How strange you would call at this moment!" Ugh... It's the principal... and yeah lady, I'm psychic... My good day's gonna turn upside down again, I can just feel it...
"I'm not sure what Dayton did, but I'm on my way to the school right now. The two of you can tell me all about it when I get there. Be there in 3 minutes..."
Here's her email to me to shorten this post, explaining what happened...
From our discussion today, here are the behaviours we talked about and the time frames:
Mid-morning - Dayton left the building and informed Mr. J. that he needed to poop and he only pooped at home or outside. He ran around the corner of the building telling Mr. J. he needed privacy. He undid his pants but did come back inside with Mr. J.
At lunch recess, he was running around the halls, entered the gym, took a hockey stick, and ran outside.
Mid-afternoon, - He entered the office and took candies from the secretary's container. We took the candies from him.
mid-morning - He gave the middle finger to students
mid-afternoon - He ripped Jack's work - tore his paper in half
We shared with you some drawings that still contain weapons. He has been more off-task for the last couple of weeks - less focussed and less work produced.
Lou, please keep me posted on the situation on the bus with the boy from Middle School.
Have a wonderful Easter weekend!
Oh yes, we're so going to have a wonderful weekend... You drip! Where the hell was Dayton's assistant throughout all of this?!
We had also discussed the poem assignment... She agreed with me that it was inappropriate for Dayton, and she had suggested that Dayton could memorize a joke instead. I'm thinking "AWESOME!!! Dayton LOVES jokes! Great idea!!! Gotta give the devil credit when it's due I suppose.
So we spent the Easter weekend looking at and memorizing four jokes... We pretended to be comedians, we actually watched a stand up comic so Dayton could see how they behave on stage (for the gesturing part of the assignment), how when the comic asks a question, he waits a few seconds before answering, because obviously the audience won't have the answer... What a waste of time...
"Really? Are you sure Dayton?" He looks at the floor, "yes momma..."
I get on the phone. To summarize our conversation, and this post, here's the email I had sent to her early this morning, making sure she gets it right away...
Good morning Bev,
I'm a little confused... and a little miffed.
Last Monday afternoon I called the school to speak to you about the Poem assignment I had found in Dayton's agenda, and explained that the Principal and I had discussed the assignment and decided that Dayton could memorize jokes instead of my finding a "challenging poem," when I had no idea what kind of poem to look for... You had told me that we didn't have to memorize anything, that Dayton was not suppose to have this assignment in his back pack. I had expressed to you that Dayton and I had spend the weekend choosing his jokes from a joke book and had been working very hard to memorize them, read them to you over then phone to ensure that they were appropriate and promised to email them to you as his handwriting is difficult to read. On Tuesday, Dayton tells me he's reading a poem with Mr. J...
When I got to the school to volunteer for the hot lunch program in your classroom, I had asked Mr. J about the poem. He informed me that you want Dayton to memorize a poem, in 2 days? While I realize it's a short poem, and Dayton has "most" of it memorized, having things changed on him at home for his assignment caused major upheaval last night. Furthermore, my time dedicated to Dayton memorizing his jokes now seems like a complete waste of time. While yes, he has them memorized, I was hoping to work on his "monotone" issue, and eye contact, and having him pretend to be a "comedian," so he would look more at ease for his assignment, all things the other students are being marked on, because I wanted Dayton to feel successful. I really wish you could communicate with me when it comes to his assignments. It makes it really frustrating for me not having you communicate your thoughts on Dayton's progress and especially the expectations. Thank goodness Mr. J took the time with me yesterday and explained what he'd like us to work on at home to prepare Dayton! I had one hour to help Dayton memorize this poem last night, as after that he had a melt down because he really wants to tell his jokes.
I would appreciate it if you still allowed him to tell his memorized jokes, he deserves that much. Dayton has worked very hard to memorize them, and it took a lot of work for him to pick them out in the first place. Trust me, he only likes one of the four jokes, I'm sure you can guess which one.
1) What do witches put on their hair?
- scare spray
2) What does a monster call his parents?
- mom and dead
3) What do you call a cow with no legs?
- ground beef
4) Why is 6 afraid of 7?
- Because 7 8 9
So maybe we can come to a compromise for Dayton's sake. Let's have him recite his poem to the class first, then follow it with his jokes?
I would like an email at the end of the day, telling me how well Dayton did on his reciting his poem and jokes. It is important that I know he complied as I promised him a major treat if he did well. We haven't decided on the treat yet, as I told him to think about it.
Thank you, and have a good day.
Lou
So, all I can do now is cross my fingers and pray to our Heavenly Father that Dayton is prepared for this. Either way, no matter what his mark is, I am proud of my son. He's a true gem, and I love him more than life itself. I thank God every morning for choosing me to be this precious boy's mother.
Now that I'm done ranting and raving, please understand that yes, while I talk about my life with autism on Autism Diva, I am not asking for your sympathy. I hate it when people say "Oh, it must be so difficult raising a child with autism, you poor girl." And I'm thinking to myself, no, it's not Dayton that makes my life difficult, it's stupid people like you, but don't say it, cause I'm really not THAT mean... I'm blunt, and honest, but not mean... I know people don't know what to say... But it really ticks me off, I mean, Dayton's healthy. He's not dying. So his brain is wired differently... Anyway, back to my point. Yes, I discuss Dayton here and our life, but Autism Diva is not about feeling sympathy for us. I love my son. Autism Diva is about explaining the complexity of autism. Sharing with you is to let you know you're not alone out there, and for those of you that don't have children on the spectrum, Autism Diva will hopefully explain what autism is and what parents with children on the spectrum have to face. Autism Diva is about awareness...
Consider yourselves hugged!
Lou
Oh yes, we're so going to have a wonderful weekend... You drip! Where the hell was Dayton's assistant throughout all of this?!
We had also discussed the poem assignment... She agreed with me that it was inappropriate for Dayton, and she had suggested that Dayton could memorize a joke instead. I'm thinking "AWESOME!!! Dayton LOVES jokes! Great idea!!! Gotta give the devil credit when it's due I suppose.
So we spent the Easter weekend looking at and memorizing four jokes... We pretended to be comedians, we actually watched a stand up comic so Dayton could see how they behave on stage (for the gesturing part of the assignment), how when the comic asks a question, he waits a few seconds before answering, because obviously the audience won't have the answer... What a waste of time...
"Really? Are you sure Dayton?" He looks at the floor, "yes momma..."
I get on the phone. To summarize our conversation, and this post, here's the email I had sent to her early this morning, making sure she gets it right away...
Good morning Bev,
I'm a little confused... and a little miffed.
Last Monday afternoon I called the school to speak to you about the Poem assignment I had found in Dayton's agenda, and explained that the Principal and I had discussed the assignment and decided that Dayton could memorize jokes instead of my finding a "challenging poem," when I had no idea what kind of poem to look for... You had told me that we didn't have to memorize anything, that Dayton was not suppose to have this assignment in his back pack. I had expressed to you that Dayton and I had spend the weekend choosing his jokes from a joke book and had been working very hard to memorize them, read them to you over then phone to ensure that they were appropriate and promised to email them to you as his handwriting is difficult to read. On Tuesday, Dayton tells me he's reading a poem with Mr. J...
When I got to the school to volunteer for the hot lunch program in your classroom, I had asked Mr. J about the poem. He informed me that you want Dayton to memorize a poem, in 2 days? While I realize it's a short poem, and Dayton has "most" of it memorized, having things changed on him at home for his assignment caused major upheaval last night. Furthermore, my time dedicated to Dayton memorizing his jokes now seems like a complete waste of time. While yes, he has them memorized, I was hoping to work on his "monotone" issue, and eye contact, and having him pretend to be a "comedian," so he would look more at ease for his assignment, all things the other students are being marked on, because I wanted Dayton to feel successful. I really wish you could communicate with me when it comes to his assignments. It makes it really frustrating for me not having you communicate your thoughts on Dayton's progress and especially the expectations. Thank goodness Mr. J took the time with me yesterday and explained what he'd like us to work on at home to prepare Dayton! I had one hour to help Dayton memorize this poem last night, as after that he had a melt down because he really wants to tell his jokes.
I would appreciate it if you still allowed him to tell his memorized jokes, he deserves that much. Dayton has worked very hard to memorize them, and it took a lot of work for him to pick them out in the first place. Trust me, he only likes one of the four jokes, I'm sure you can guess which one.
1) What do witches put on their hair?
- scare spray
2) What does a monster call his parents?
- mom and dead
3) What do you call a cow with no legs?
- ground beef
4) Why is 6 afraid of 7?
- Because 7 8 9
So maybe we can come to a compromise for Dayton's sake. Let's have him recite his poem to the class first, then follow it with his jokes?
I would like an email at the end of the day, telling me how well Dayton did on his reciting his poem and jokes. It is important that I know he complied as I promised him a major treat if he did well. We haven't decided on the treat yet, as I told him to think about it.
Thank you, and have a good day.
Lou
So, all I can do now is cross my fingers and pray to our Heavenly Father that Dayton is prepared for this. Either way, no matter what his mark is, I am proud of my son. He's a true gem, and I love him more than life itself. I thank God every morning for choosing me to be this precious boy's mother.
Now that I'm done ranting and raving, please understand that yes, while I talk about my life with autism on Autism Diva, I am not asking for your sympathy. I hate it when people say "Oh, it must be so difficult raising a child with autism, you poor girl." And I'm thinking to myself, no, it's not Dayton that makes my life difficult, it's stupid people like you, but don't say it, cause I'm really not THAT mean... I'm blunt, and honest, but not mean... I know people don't know what to say... But it really ticks me off, I mean, Dayton's healthy. He's not dying. So his brain is wired differently... Anyway, back to my point. Yes, I discuss Dayton here and our life, but Autism Diva is not about feeling sympathy for us. I love my son. Autism Diva is about explaining the complexity of autism. Sharing with you is to let you know you're not alone out there, and for those of you that don't have children on the spectrum, Autism Diva will hopefully explain what autism is and what parents with children on the spectrum have to face. Autism Diva is about awareness...
Consider yourselves hugged!
Lou
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
An Email To The Premier Of Manitoba Regarding Our Children With Autism Spectrum Disorders
Dear Mr. Premier,
This email is written to you in the hopes of getting your attention to the problems faced by parents with children on the Autism Spectrum. I ask that you read this email with an open mind, and recognize that I am not merely criticizing the school system, but desperately seeking some change. My son Dayton's diagnoses are as follows: Global Delays, ADHD and PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified, a very, very high functioning form of Autism).
First, I would like to say that I am very pleased that the government does not shun our children into a "special school" where the building is considered more of a dumping ground for the inept children. I am glad that in the government's eyes, my son is entitled to the same education as anyone else. I love the "theory" of inclusion.
My concern is that not all schools are equipped or skilled to follow through with "genuine inclusion.' Most of my son's inclusion has proven to be "cosmetic inclusion." Dayton spends the majority of his time in the hallway. The school he is currently attending claims that this is by his choice, not the school's, but it appears they have no control of my son or his behavior. If they did, he would genuinely be included in the classroom. I think the problem stems in their misunderstanding of the Autism Spectrum. Please don't take my opinion as though I'm suggesting that the school Dayton attends is not working hard with Dayton, but they are not skilled or knowledgeable in teaching or including a child with autism. The Autism Spectrum is a very, very broad spectrum. If you've had the pleasure of meeting a child with autism, you've met a child with autism. Not one child is the same. What works for one child, will not necessarily work for another.
The most common thread of these children is their inappropriate behavior due to their inability to control impulse and their inability to cope with emotions and sensory issues. I have moved through three different school division to get Dayton the education both you and I believe he is entitled to. Dayton's current school thinks that at the core of Dayton's inappropriate behavior is my parenting. They have called CFS about my parenting twice in the last year. I can not begin to explain the humiliation of this experience. Furthermore, they did not believe that Dayton's diagnosis of PDD-NOS falls under the Autism Spectrum, which has resulted in them "disciplining" Dayton in the way that makes sense to with a typical child. Sometimes even worse... An extreme example of their discipline was when they had four teachers force my son to the floor, all of them laying on top of him over a misunderstanding because of a torn back pack, at eight years old, weighing fifty pounds... This resulted in my loss of daycare, forcing me to work part time. The incident traumatized my child into hiding under his bed for a few days, not being able to eat because of a sore throat due to his screaming at the school staff to let him go. Suspending a seven, eight or nine year old child who is delayed by two years is not teaching him a consequence, it is a punishment to the parents. My son is now looking for ways to get suspended, as to him it means that he doesn't have to show his peers just how far behind is from the rest of them. The suspensions have been a "reward" for him. In his mind it is better to be seen as "bad" then "stupid" in front of his peers. Dayton's self esteem is at an all time low, as he constantly tells me he is stupid, he can not learn, so what's the point of me trying to help him at home...
The last CFS call resulted in them immediately closing the file, and asking me what they could do for me. I wanted an advocate from the system to advocate on my son's behalf in his school. They provided me with Brenda Suderman, an amazing woman, who is fighting for my family. She is a true advocate, and very much a support to my family. I have humbled myself and allowed a worker to come to my home to give me advice on working with my son once a week, but even the worker is telling me that I am doing everything with Dayton that she would recommend herself.
On calling your office, my call was transferred to my MLA, whom I had already spoken to. The MLA's office promised to contact Manitoba Education with my concerns, and assured me that someone would call me to discuss my concerns further.
Marlene Gregory of the Manitoba Education "student services," suggested that I fill out a "school of choice application form" and have it submitted by May 15th, giving me false hope for my son's future education. It turns out that school divisions do not accept this application if the student it is being filled out for has special needs! Even if there was a chance I was able to move to their school division (rental availability in the city is sitting at 0%, furthermore, my child with autism needs stability, and I've moved from school division to school division three times to get him a "promised education"), I can not get my child into an autism program or an adaptive program because they are all full. When I called Mrs. Gregory back and conveyed my results, she informed me that the school divisions have the right to deny the application... I have every reason to believe by Dayton's child psychiatrist who diagnosed Dayton with PDD-NOS, that he can live a productive life, become a contributing member of society, providing he gets the services and support his current school division is not providing him.
Mr. Premier, I ask for an appointment to see you, and discuss my son's education. This is not only a concern for my son, but for all children who have been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. One in a hundred and ten children are being diagnosed with a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder today and the numbers increase every year. These children are our future and they need your help. Help them... You can make a difference in these children's lives, if you want to, and I know you do. You are a wise man, if you weren't, you would not be the premier of Manitoba. Imagine our future if these children do not receive your help... You are our leader, our voice of reason. I know that as a parent alone, I can not make a change, but you... You can make all the difference to our children's lives and education.
The stress I have endured as a result of Dayton's discrimination has taken a toll on my health. I am currently on medical leave, and am available at your earliest convenience to meet with you.
You may reach me at home at 837-6308 or by cell phone at 771-4546. My email addresses are healthy.you.home@gmail.com and autism.diva.help@gmail.com. I look forward to your call.
Sincerely,
Lou Lovrin, a mom of a beautiful nine year old boy, who desperately seeks your help.
This email is written to you in the hopes of getting your attention to the problems faced by parents with children on the Autism Spectrum. I ask that you read this email with an open mind, and recognize that I am not merely criticizing the school system, but desperately seeking some change. My son Dayton's diagnoses are as follows: Global Delays, ADHD and PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified, a very, very high functioning form of Autism).
First, I would like to say that I am very pleased that the government does not shun our children into a "special school" where the building is considered more of a dumping ground for the inept children. I am glad that in the government's eyes, my son is entitled to the same education as anyone else. I love the "theory" of inclusion.
My concern is that not all schools are equipped or skilled to follow through with "genuine inclusion.' Most of my son's inclusion has proven to be "cosmetic inclusion." Dayton spends the majority of his time in the hallway. The school he is currently attending claims that this is by his choice, not the school's, but it appears they have no control of my son or his behavior. If they did, he would genuinely be included in the classroom. I think the problem stems in their misunderstanding of the Autism Spectrum. Please don't take my opinion as though I'm suggesting that the school Dayton attends is not working hard with Dayton, but they are not skilled or knowledgeable in teaching or including a child with autism. The Autism Spectrum is a very, very broad spectrum. If you've had the pleasure of meeting a child with autism, you've met a child with autism. Not one child is the same. What works for one child, will not necessarily work for another.
The most common thread of these children is their inappropriate behavior due to their inability to control impulse and their inability to cope with emotions and sensory issues. I have moved through three different school division to get Dayton the education both you and I believe he is entitled to. Dayton's current school thinks that at the core of Dayton's inappropriate behavior is my parenting. They have called CFS about my parenting twice in the last year. I can not begin to explain the humiliation of this experience. Furthermore, they did not believe that Dayton's diagnosis of PDD-NOS falls under the Autism Spectrum, which has resulted in them "disciplining" Dayton in the way that makes sense to with a typical child. Sometimes even worse... An extreme example of their discipline was when they had four teachers force my son to the floor, all of them laying on top of him over a misunderstanding because of a torn back pack, at eight years old, weighing fifty pounds... This resulted in my loss of daycare, forcing me to work part time. The incident traumatized my child into hiding under his bed for a few days, not being able to eat because of a sore throat due to his screaming at the school staff to let him go. Suspending a seven, eight or nine year old child who is delayed by two years is not teaching him a consequence, it is a punishment to the parents. My son is now looking for ways to get suspended, as to him it means that he doesn't have to show his peers just how far behind is from the rest of them. The suspensions have been a "reward" for him. In his mind it is better to be seen as "bad" then "stupid" in front of his peers. Dayton's self esteem is at an all time low, as he constantly tells me he is stupid, he can not learn, so what's the point of me trying to help him at home...
The last CFS call resulted in them immediately closing the file, and asking me what they could do for me. I wanted an advocate from the system to advocate on my son's behalf in his school. They provided me with Brenda Suderman, an amazing woman, who is fighting for my family. She is a true advocate, and very much a support to my family. I have humbled myself and allowed a worker to come to my home to give me advice on working with my son once a week, but even the worker is telling me that I am doing everything with Dayton that she would recommend herself.
On calling your office, my call was transferred to my MLA, whom I had already spoken to. The MLA's office promised to contact Manitoba Education with my concerns, and assured me that someone would call me to discuss my concerns further.
Marlene Gregory of the Manitoba Education "student services," suggested that I fill out a "school of choice application form" and have it submitted by May 15th, giving me false hope for my son's future education. It turns out that school divisions do not accept this application if the student it is being filled out for has special needs! Even if there was a chance I was able to move to their school division (rental availability in the city is sitting at 0%, furthermore, my child with autism needs stability, and I've moved from school division to school division three times to get him a "promised education"), I can not get my child into an autism program or an adaptive program because they are all full. When I called Mrs. Gregory back and conveyed my results, she informed me that the school divisions have the right to deny the application... I have every reason to believe by Dayton's child psychiatrist who diagnosed Dayton with PDD-NOS, that he can live a productive life, become a contributing member of society, providing he gets the services and support his current school division is not providing him.
Mr. Premier, I ask for an appointment to see you, and discuss my son's education. This is not only a concern for my son, but for all children who have been diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. One in a hundred and ten children are being diagnosed with a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder today and the numbers increase every year. These children are our future and they need your help. Help them... You can make a difference in these children's lives, if you want to, and I know you do. You are a wise man, if you weren't, you would not be the premier of Manitoba. Imagine our future if these children do not receive your help... You are our leader, our voice of reason. I know that as a parent alone, I can not make a change, but you... You can make all the difference to our children's lives and education.
The stress I have endured as a result of Dayton's discrimination has taken a toll on my health. I am currently on medical leave, and am available at your earliest convenience to meet with you.
You may reach me at home at 837-6308 or by cell phone at 771-4546. My email addresses are healthy.you.home@gmail.com and autism.diva.help@gmail.com. I look forward to your call.
Sincerely,
Lou Lovrin, a mom of a beautiful nine year old boy, who desperately seeks your help.
Sunday, 24 April 2011
Autism Essay
Wow, I read this essay on Maximum Potential on facebook, and I just had to share it with y'all. It is absolutely fantastic!!! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
I have autism. I hold only a few similarities to the character in “Rain Man.” When I am out on the playground, never say to my mother, “I would have never guessed that; he looks so normal” The face of autism is not a defined one.
I have autism. This does not mean I am deaf, nor does it mean I can’t understand your words. When cruel things are said, it hurts just like it would anyone else. Sometimes even more, as I am very sensitive.
I have autism. I am not blind. When you stare at me, point, and whisper – I don’t like it. I sometimes cannot control my emotions; however, I still can see you.
I have autism. I am not spoiled, undisciplined, or disrespectful intentionally. Don’t tell my parents I just need to be smacked, as that would never work and I smack back! All I know is if I am being hurt I must defend myself.
I have autism. This does not mean I am mentally delayed. I am very smart. I may focus on only a few things, but I have become an expert on them.
I have autism. Don’t think I am not capable of love or am emotionally detached from the world around me. I am very close to my family and sometimes need to be hugged. I do have the capacity to care. Especially if I see someone else being hurt or teased.
I have autism. I will line things up on the floor in my room in perfect order. This may be strange, but to me it is contentment. I can only relax if things are in sync.
I have autism. Which means I am super sensitive to sounds; I hear all of them. Even the smallest of sounds. When I get overloaded with too many sounds at once, It is hard to cope and I must step away and be alone. This does not mean I can’t handle the world, I just have to have more time to tune out as I hear more than everyone.
I have autism. I live by schedules. This is one of the ways I have found to cope with the chaos around me. Knowing what is going to happen at a certain time each day helps me prepare for transitions. That is why it is difficult for me to deal with a schedule change. I have to have order to obtain peace.
I have autism. It is very important for people to mean what they say That is why joking with me is never understood. Things are black and white to me, like a set schedule. If you say you are going to turn blue in five minutes, I expect you to do so.
So remember, having autism does not mean I am blind, retarded, unresponsive, incapable of love, or unable to function in the real world. I am unique and gifted because I have found a way to coexist within two very separate worlds. Take a moment to think about how many of us have difficulty within just the one world we live, now imagine juggling two. This is something I have learned to do. So forgive me if at times I have trouble separating the two, again I am only human.
I often hear people say to my mom, “It must be so hard for you” – no one ever says that to me. In fact, no one expects me to understand or respond because of the face society has painted autism to be. I do not know all that autism is, but I know who I am. I am special, and cherished. Almost like a superhero I was set aside to have these unique abilities. They are not a disability. They are not something to fear. In a way they are magical. I have unlocked parts of my brain that others cannot.
When you look at me, don’t look at me with sadness or feel sorry for me. Look at me with wonderment and I will amaze you every time.
This “In Their Own Words” essay is written by Tonya Procor, a loving mother of a son with autism
Happy Easter everyone! Consider yourselves hugged!!!
Lou
I have autism. I hold only a few similarities to the character in “Rain Man.” When I am out on the playground, never say to my mother, “I would have never guessed that; he looks so normal” The face of autism is not a defined one.
I have autism. This does not mean I am deaf, nor does it mean I can’t understand your words. When cruel things are said, it hurts just like it would anyone else. Sometimes even more, as I am very sensitive.
I have autism. I am not blind. When you stare at me, point, and whisper – I don’t like it. I sometimes cannot control my emotions; however, I still can see you.
I have autism. I am not spoiled, undisciplined, or disrespectful intentionally. Don’t tell my parents I just need to be smacked, as that would never work and I smack back! All I know is if I am being hurt I must defend myself.
I have autism. This does not mean I am mentally delayed. I am very smart. I may focus on only a few things, but I have become an expert on them.
I have autism. Don’t think I am not capable of love or am emotionally detached from the world around me. I am very close to my family and sometimes need to be hugged. I do have the capacity to care. Especially if I see someone else being hurt or teased.
I have autism. I will line things up on the floor in my room in perfect order. This may be strange, but to me it is contentment. I can only relax if things are in sync.
I have autism. Which means I am super sensitive to sounds; I hear all of them. Even the smallest of sounds. When I get overloaded with too many sounds at once, It is hard to cope and I must step away and be alone. This does not mean I can’t handle the world, I just have to have more time to tune out as I hear more than everyone.
I have autism. I live by schedules. This is one of the ways I have found to cope with the chaos around me. Knowing what is going to happen at a certain time each day helps me prepare for transitions. That is why it is difficult for me to deal with a schedule change. I have to have order to obtain peace.
I have autism. It is very important for people to mean what they say That is why joking with me is never understood. Things are black and white to me, like a set schedule. If you say you are going to turn blue in five minutes, I expect you to do so.
So remember, having autism does not mean I am blind, retarded, unresponsive, incapable of love, or unable to function in the real world. I am unique and gifted because I have found a way to coexist within two very separate worlds. Take a moment to think about how many of us have difficulty within just the one world we live, now imagine juggling two. This is something I have learned to do. So forgive me if at times I have trouble separating the two, again I am only human.
I often hear people say to my mom, “It must be so hard for you” – no one ever says that to me. In fact, no one expects me to understand or respond because of the face society has painted autism to be. I do not know all that autism is, but I know who I am. I am special, and cherished. Almost like a superhero I was set aside to have these unique abilities. They are not a disability. They are not something to fear. In a way they are magical. I have unlocked parts of my brain that others cannot.
When you look at me, don’t look at me with sadness or feel sorry for me. Look at me with wonderment and I will amaze you every time.
This “In Their Own Words” essay is written by Tonya Procor, a loving mother of a son with autism
Happy Easter everyone! Consider yourselves hugged!!!
Lou
Friday, 22 April 2011
~pro choice~
As I've said before I am proud to be from Canada. We have many choices. Now some of us this is always an easy task. You have the choice to spend your money, or save it. Coffee or tea. House or condo. college or work. You have the choice to have a family and get married or stay "urban single". Now yes in life sometimes you can't help fate. Things happen that aren't really a choice but you do have the choice of how to deal with it.
We have a country that allows us to make the choice of province/city/town we want to live in, the job we want, and even the CHOICE to vote. So with a proud country of choices, why aren't we able to make the ?simple? choice?
Other provinces offer you choice of home phones, cable companies, and which brand of milk you want to buy. They even offer you what school you would want your child(should you choose to have any) go to. Now here it's a little different. This is where choice has some what been eliminated. Here you have the choice of school, however, remember your choice needs to fall into the division and catchment in which you live in. So if you don't like your "home" school, get your boxes and move. Then you have the choice of english or french. Now with a speech impaired child that choice is fairly easy. We also have this thing called an "inclusion policy". Now the intentions behind it are good. I will not knock that. They tried to offer change compared to 40-50 years ago, but it's not yet perfected. Here's the other catch. Your "choice" is simple. You send your child to school or you don't. Again seems like a pretty simple choice. You want your child to have a proper education and make something of themselves and be a active member of future society. Now if your child is different/special/high needs/low needs the policy is meant to include your child. It's meant to treat all children regardless of "needs" the same. It does work, for some! The point of inclusion is to include ALL children. Now any professional will tell you that special need children are all different. They might have the same "label" but everyone is different. They need to be addressed differently, and taught differently. So in a world of choice where either you go or you don't to school, which has a policy that is suppose to make all kids feel equal you ask what's the problem?
The policy isn't including everyone. It doesn't include mild to moderate need children, and for the high need children you aren't getting a "trained" professional in their special needs area. Now other provinces offer you a real choice. You can take the public school system, or there is things like school of choice, chartered schools. So why not here? We're all from the same country. We're all under the same FEDERAL laws, and policies. Why such a difference?
Not everyone agrees with schools of choice, and chartered schools and a lot of people feel it's a step backwards. Now in Canada we're all "free of opinion". I'm not saying your right over another, or she's wrong over him. I'm saying in a country that I proudly call home, and a country that prides on our CHOICES, why don't we have equal choices. "Special Need schools" or placements, or segregation may be a thing of the past but it's my CHOICE to explore. I don't feel the inclusion policy is working at least for my family and a few others I know personally, and I don't think home schooling is an option. Maybe it's a thing from the past, and maybe just maybe it won't work. That's the thing with choices. You never know if it's the right one till you try it. I'm not saying if my child went to a chartered school his Autism would be cured. However I would like to have the choice, to see if it will benefit him since the current "choice" isn't.
So on the ending note,
we're all different, and we all choose differently but being Canadian we have the same great gift of being able to choose. I'm simply saying I want my choice. Everything with my son is trail and error. Somethings work, some don't. That's just the road that I'm on. I've tried the public schools, and the "inclusion" and it's not working for us, so I'm ready to try the next thing. My end goal is not to set us back(as a society), it's not to put down others that feel the system is working, I'm simply trying to find the best system for my child.
maybe people need to start being open to having more than one right answer to a problem that is much larger than single answer.
Wendy
We have a country that allows us to make the choice of province/city/town we want to live in, the job we want, and even the CHOICE to vote. So with a proud country of choices, why aren't we able to make the ?simple? choice?
Other provinces offer you choice of home phones, cable companies, and which brand of milk you want to buy. They even offer you what school you would want your child(should you choose to have any) go to. Now here it's a little different. This is where choice has some what been eliminated. Here you have the choice of school, however, remember your choice needs to fall into the division and catchment in which you live in. So if you don't like your "home" school, get your boxes and move. Then you have the choice of english or french. Now with a speech impaired child that choice is fairly easy. We also have this thing called an "inclusion policy". Now the intentions behind it are good. I will not knock that. They tried to offer change compared to 40-50 years ago, but it's not yet perfected. Here's the other catch. Your "choice" is simple. You send your child to school or you don't. Again seems like a pretty simple choice. You want your child to have a proper education and make something of themselves and be a active member of future society. Now if your child is different/special/high needs/low needs the policy is meant to include your child. It's meant to treat all children regardless of "needs" the same. It does work, for some! The point of inclusion is to include ALL children. Now any professional will tell you that special need children are all different. They might have the same "label" but everyone is different. They need to be addressed differently, and taught differently. So in a world of choice where either you go or you don't to school, which has a policy that is suppose to make all kids feel equal you ask what's the problem?
The policy isn't including everyone. It doesn't include mild to moderate need children, and for the high need children you aren't getting a "trained" professional in their special needs area. Now other provinces offer you a real choice. You can take the public school system, or there is things like school of choice, chartered schools. So why not here? We're all from the same country. We're all under the same FEDERAL laws, and policies. Why such a difference?
Not everyone agrees with schools of choice, and chartered schools and a lot of people feel it's a step backwards. Now in Canada we're all "free of opinion". I'm not saying your right over another, or she's wrong over him. I'm saying in a country that I proudly call home, and a country that prides on our CHOICES, why don't we have equal choices. "Special Need schools" or placements, or segregation may be a thing of the past but it's my CHOICE to explore. I don't feel the inclusion policy is working at least for my family and a few others I know personally, and I don't think home schooling is an option. Maybe it's a thing from the past, and maybe just maybe it won't work. That's the thing with choices. You never know if it's the right one till you try it. I'm not saying if my child went to a chartered school his Autism would be cured. However I would like to have the choice, to see if it will benefit him since the current "choice" isn't.
So on the ending note,
we're all different, and we all choose differently but being Canadian we have the same great gift of being able to choose. I'm simply saying I want my choice. Everything with my son is trail and error. Somethings work, some don't. That's just the road that I'm on. I've tried the public schools, and the "inclusion" and it's not working for us, so I'm ready to try the next thing. My end goal is not to set us back(as a society), it's not to put down others that feel the system is working, I'm simply trying to find the best system for my child.
maybe people need to start being open to having more than one right answer to a problem that is much larger than single answer.
Wendy
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