So, yeah... crappy day. I got an email from the principal about Dayton's behavior at recess... which was not good... another accident... I'm ready to just pull him out of school... but feeling if I do, I'm the worst parent ever... but I can't stand it anymore, and I'm so ready for summer break... are we there yet?! Nope, one more week to go... I just want to curl up in a fetal position and cry or sit in a chair facing the corner, rocking back and forth while I suck on my thumb, mumbling about how much I love my life. Perhaps what I really need is a melt down of my own.
It seems a little girl brought a yo-yo to school. During recess, she played with it and it broke. Dayton picked up a broken piece of the yo-yo and threw it over the fence onto the street. Of course it doesn't end there. The piece of yo-yo he threw, bounced off a... wait for it... A TEACHER'S BRAND NEW CAR. That's right. Of course, since I have a horse shoe stuck up my butt, it doesn't end there either. There is a ding in the car. Naturally, since it is a brand new car, the teacher is rightfully upset, and is going to autopac to place a claim.
The principal doesn't believe Dayton did this maliciously or intentionally. God bless her. Maybe she's just happy that she's retiring and won't have to deal with this any more, or maybe she really thinks he didn't do this on purpose. Either way, I'm at a loss as to what to do with Dayton.
When I read the email, I immediately called the school and asked to speak with the principal. She told me his aid was standing right beside him when Dayton threw the piece of yo-yo at the car. "He was just so fast! But Lou, he feels remorse. He's writing a letter of apology."
I'm seriously debating whether or not I should either pull Dayton out of school, or show up to school with him. I figure if I go to school with him, I'd bring my camping chair and book and sit outside the classroom. Maybe if Dayton knows I'm there, he'll keep his impulses under check? I don't want to interfere with the classroom, but during breaks, I'd be right beside him, holding his hand? But this would be embarrassing to him, wouldn't it? It would not send the right message to his peers, would it? Not to mention my own health. My kidney stone, I found out today, measures 6 ml in diameter. I couldn't run after the little monkey, and he knows it!
Talking to Dayton, he swears it was an accident. "I didn't aim for the car momma..."
"What were you thinking?!"
"I'm not allowed to bring toys to school."
"So what?!?!"
"She shouldn't have brought her toy to school."
Oh for the love of God!!! What am I supposed to say to that?
"Dayton, when you bring a toy to school, you play with it all day, and refuse to do anything else."
"I wanna do what the rest of them do."
"I'm sure there are other kids who don't bring toys to school."
"Na-ahhh. I'm the only one."
"Dayton, it is my rule then that you shouldn't bring toys to school."
"Then you should tell everyone else to keep their toys at home too."
"What about the pop you took from another student?"
"Buy me pop and I'll stop."
"No Dayton. You know how hyper you get when you drink pop. That's why I don't buy you pop."
"Then tell the other kids not to bring pop to school."
"Dayton, I can't talk to the rest of the students and tell them what they can and can not bring to school."
"Why?"
"Cause I'm not the principal."
"Why?"
"If other kids jumped off a bridge, would you follow them?"
"Which bridge?"
"It was a metaphor Dayton."
"What's a metaphor?"
Ugh... Shoot me now. "It's an expression Dayton,"
"You should be the principal."
And now I'm laughing, and laughing hard. I think he'd start to hate me if I became his principal. The school would be on lock down at all times.
I feel for the little guy. He sees others bringing their toys, pop and chocolate bars, something Dayton's not allowed to have. The school has told me not to allow Dayton to bring toys to school, so if there are other kids bringing them, he feels he's being wronged. And he is. But how is the school supposed to deal with his obsession over the toy he brings? He can't focus on anything but his toy, so what are we to do? School policy is to leave toys at home, but it really isn't being enforced if his classmates are playing with bayblades during recess. Bayblades they brought from home. He wants to bring his bayblade to school, but I always told him not to. Other kids bring their iPods or MP3 players to school, but Dayton's not allowed to. But what can I do? Demand change in a school I have been persona non gratta in? What can I do???
Ugh... If my hair wasn't so damn light, I'd be pulling my hear out, but what's that going to accomplish?
What to do, what to do, what to do, what to do... Did I say what to do?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
To Integrate Or Not To Integrate, Why Bother Asking, It's Not Like a Parent Has a Choice
I had the good fortune of hearing my dad's voice on the phone the other night. He's in Olds, AB right now, working hard, far away from home. He said he came upon an article that he had to share with me, as it made him think of Dayton.
My dad was born hearing impaired. I had no idea that there is a Deaf Community Culture out there, similar to the Autism Community Cultures we have. There are many groups out there working hard to bring about Autism Awareness, probably more so in the States than here in Canada. In the States, they've dedicated the whole month of April towards Autism Awareness! Well done! All these communities work on awareness, acceptance and appreciation for diversity.
One particular Autism group comes to mind in respect to searching for, well... RESPECT for diversity - Age of Autism. Another is Autism Speaks.
There are many, many adults who have been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, who take strong offense at the idea of someone 'fixing' their autism. They also don't agree with the idea that vaccinations play a roll in triggering the autism spectrum. Their goal is to be respected and accepted for who they are as individuals and ask others to stop trying to 'fix' them, as they are not 'broken.' And what is it, may I ask... that integration in our schools teaches our children? Does it really teach to embrace diversity, or does it teach the children with 'issues' to conform to the 'norm?' Does mainstreaming our kiddos teach all children to accept each other for who they are, or is it to try and teach my child to 'pretend' to be 'normal?' Ugh... I hate the word normal...
While talking to my dad, he asked me to substitute the word Deaf for the word Autism, and see whether or not I thought the author's writing relates to what Dayton suffers through in school... I ask for you to take my dad's advice as well.
In no way am I stating that deafness is the same as having autism, but there are definitely some similarities. Adults and children on the autism spectrum disorder, often have sensory processing issues (also known as SPD). Most on the spectrum have what's called an auditory processing problem. Dayton most certainly does. When I asked Dayton "hey buddy, what's two plus two," he just looked at me as though he saw a third eye growing out of my forehead. After many frustrating attempts at having Dayton answer my question, I finally gave up asking my question verbally, but I'm a stubborn woman. I know full well my son knows the answer and I'm not letting this go. I grab a piece of paper and write out my query as numbers instead of words... "Ohhhh..." he says. "Why didn't you ask me like this before momma?" Instead of answering me verbally, Dayton wrote the number 4 beside the math question...
The following is quoted from Deaf Culture: About the Deaf Community:
http://www.signlanguageresourcesinc.com/page.cfm?page=960
My dad was born hearing impaired. I had no idea that there is a Deaf Community Culture out there, similar to the Autism Community Cultures we have. There are many groups out there working hard to bring about Autism Awareness, probably more so in the States than here in Canada. In the States, they've dedicated the whole month of April towards Autism Awareness! Well done! All these communities work on awareness, acceptance and appreciation for diversity.
One particular Autism group comes to mind in respect to searching for, well... RESPECT for diversity - Age of Autism. Another is Autism Speaks.
There are many, many adults who have been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, who take strong offense at the idea of someone 'fixing' their autism. They also don't agree with the idea that vaccinations play a roll in triggering the autism spectrum. Their goal is to be respected and accepted for who they are as individuals and ask others to stop trying to 'fix' them, as they are not 'broken.' And what is it, may I ask... that integration in our schools teaches our children? Does it really teach to embrace diversity, or does it teach the children with 'issues' to conform to the 'norm?' Does mainstreaming our kiddos teach all children to accept each other for who they are, or is it to try and teach my child to 'pretend' to be 'normal?' Ugh... I hate the word normal...
While talking to my dad, he asked me to substitute the word Deaf for the word Autism, and see whether or not I thought the author's writing relates to what Dayton suffers through in school... I ask for you to take my dad's advice as well.
In no way am I stating that deafness is the same as having autism, but there are definitely some similarities. Adults and children on the autism spectrum disorder, often have sensory processing issues (also known as SPD). Most on the spectrum have what's called an auditory processing problem. Dayton most certainly does. When I asked Dayton "hey buddy, what's two plus two," he just looked at me as though he saw a third eye growing out of my forehead. After many frustrating attempts at having Dayton answer my question, I finally gave up asking my question verbally, but I'm a stubborn woman. I know full well my son knows the answer and I'm not letting this go. I grab a piece of paper and write out my query as numbers instead of words... "Ohhhh..." he says. "Why didn't you ask me like this before momma?" Instead of answering me verbally, Dayton wrote the number 4 beside the math question...
The following is quoted from Deaf Culture: About the Deaf Community:
http://www.signlanguageresourcesinc.com/page.cfm?page=960
even well-meaning attempts to integrate deaf people into hearing society may actually imprison them in a zone of silence. Jostled by a crowd but unable to communicate, they are effectively alone. The problem is especially acute in schools, where mainstreaming has led to the decline of residential schools for the disabled and the deaf and the integration of many such students into ordinary public schools. Since deafness is rare, affecting one child in a thousand, deaf students are thinly scattered. As a result, half of all deaf children in public school have either no deaf classmates at all or very few.
"Mainstreaming deaf children in regular public-school programs," the prominent deaf educator Leo Jacobs writes, will produce "a new generation of of educational failures" and "frustrated and unfulfilled adults." Another deaf spokesman, Mervin Garretson, is even harsher. The danger of mainstreaming, he contends, is that def children could be "educationally, vocationally, and emotionally mutilated."
Most classroom teaching is done by speaking. If my child has auditory processing issues, how can he contribute to the rest of the class? If he can't follow verbal instruction, how can he possibly learn in a mainstreamed classroom? How does this affect my babe's self esteem? "emotionally mutilated."
There's a reason why I have a picture schedule for Dayton in our main washroom, and believe me, it is not because the drawings add to the decor. How I wish I could simply tell Dayton "get ready for school buddy." He wouldn't even know where to begin!!! I have to give him one instruction at a time in order for him to comply, not because he's defiant, but because he literally CAN'T. Which brings me back to asking why are we so focused on integration and mainstreaming? Is it not more important to ensure that our children get a quality education by professionals who understand their way of thinking? I think it's time for the government to step up to the plate and do what's right, not politically correct.
"If you were a droplet of water placed into the ocean, could you pull yourself out or would you simply blend with the waters?" Pulling yourself out means you're a unique individual, something everyone strides to be once hitting puberty. That's why we have kids dressing in 'goth,' expressing themselves with make up or trying to start a new 'fad.' Yet, we demand our children blend into the waters. They must be 'just like the other children.' In the same breath, we ask ourselves and others to 'think outside the box.' Could it be possible that our kiddos are doing exactly that? Thinking outside that proverbial box?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
PS. Thanks dad for sharing this link with me!!!
"Mainstreaming deaf children in regular public-school programs," the prominent deaf educator Leo Jacobs writes, will produce "a new generation of of educational failures" and "frustrated and unfulfilled adults." Another deaf spokesman, Mervin Garretson, is even harsher. The danger of mainstreaming, he contends, is that def children could be "educationally, vocationally, and emotionally mutilated."
Most classroom teaching is done by speaking. If my child has auditory processing issues, how can he contribute to the rest of the class? If he can't follow verbal instruction, how can he possibly learn in a mainstreamed classroom? How does this affect my babe's self esteem? "emotionally mutilated."
There's a reason why I have a picture schedule for Dayton in our main washroom, and believe me, it is not because the drawings add to the decor. How I wish I could simply tell Dayton "get ready for school buddy." He wouldn't even know where to begin!!! I have to give him one instruction at a time in order for him to comply, not because he's defiant, but because he literally CAN'T. Which brings me back to asking why are we so focused on integration and mainstreaming? Is it not more important to ensure that our children get a quality education by professionals who understand their way of thinking? I think it's time for the government to step up to the plate and do what's right, not politically correct.
"If you were a droplet of water placed into the ocean, could you pull yourself out or would you simply blend with the waters?" Pulling yourself out means you're a unique individual, something everyone strides to be once hitting puberty. That's why we have kids dressing in 'goth,' expressing themselves with make up or trying to start a new 'fad.' Yet, we demand our children blend into the waters. They must be 'just like the other children.' In the same breath, we ask ourselves and others to 'think outside the box.' Could it be possible that our kiddos are doing exactly that? Thinking outside that proverbial box?
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
PS. Thanks dad for sharing this link with me!!!
Wednesday, 15 June 2011
Been awhile since I vented..
Again I want to thank Lou for her kindness is letting me be a guest blogger. I haven't blogged in awhile and part of that is because i was clouded by the fog of goodness. The sun has come out though and I'm fully clear vision now.
As previous readers and those close to me know, Nik going to school has been a 2.5 year process that has been the furthest thing from great. We started right before he turned 4, and so far two schools later. First I'd like to know why schools make promises they know they can't keep. If someone would be just be honest from the start and say, sorry Wendy we just can't do that then at least I'd know my options.
Now just a refresher Nik has SEVERE allergies to almost everything, severe asthma and central & obstructed sleep ap. He also Global Delay and PDD-NOS. Now with all of those you'd think he's get some help and it's shocking how many ppl are surprised when I explain he gets NOTHING. No speech, NO ot, No aid, no modifications, NOTHING. He did get help. Till he turned 5. Then May 31st every single worker/helper/ect closed his file and said Good Luck. Nikolas has learnt to control his aggression which is AMAZING. He no longer attacks children or teachers at school or daycare. That being said, he now brings it all home. I was shocked to find that because he now considered "mild autism" the government WILL NOT fund him, or assist him in school. I've said from day one, it doesn't matter is they are mild or severe they should all be given the same help and support. If we don't support our children now, they will suffer in the long term.
So yesterday was our 2nd follow up at MATC, the last one was a flop as only I showed up(doctor wasn't even there), there was a mix up though so I know it wasn't his fault. However, yesterday I walked into the building not knowing who would all show up as that's how my "team" works. All of a sudden the Principal and my son's teacher walk in the door. So awkward silence, then our wonderful nurse calls us into the room. Our amazing doctor walks in happy as always. We go through the introduction of everyone and I get the famous question, "Where's CSS?" For a year now we've had 6 meetings at MATC and never once has CSS showed up. I answer with "no clue". So we start the meeting anyways. My doctor asks me how things are, how was the move, hows Nik adjusting, ect.. The move went amazing for Nik. Back to daycare has been wonderful. School-"NO idea, they don't communicate". So he asks the school. I'm on pins n needles because i have no idea what they are going to say. "Nik's adjusted wonderfully. His emotions are extreme, he's either very happy or very mad. He's stubborn, has problem completing tasks that he doesn't like. Socially he's doing great. The dr, " that's amazing. So glad to hear. Now let's talk about services, and academics." Well he has nothing. We didn't want to throw too many ppl at him being a new school.(me-BS)He's struggling with academics,doesn't participate in class discussions, completes his tasks but never goes above n beyond on anything. Dr-" so he's controlling his urges but not participating?", " well he sits and rocks, bites his clothes, stares at ceiling, plays with shoes, but NEVER raises his hand to answer, just sits in his own world. " "We're very happy that there has been no reports to the office for his actions." We have no concerns. He can't articulate language, and doesn't enjoy language activities.
So I'm sitting there being irritated, biting my tongue listening..You have NO concerns? He's sitting rocking, and looking at walls NOT LEARNING, but because he hasn't thrown a chair at you he's fine? Dr asks if there is tools or books or programs we can work on during summer to catch him up as he's not fully ready for grade 1. We get the reply, well we don't send stuff like that home. it's not our job. Your job? Your an EDUCATOR. Your job is to educate my child. Then they go on to hump n ha over services n funding for next year. There is NO plan. They are just moving him to grade one and seeing how things go. Apparently because he's controlled at the moment, the government doesn't think he needs assistance. They also don't fund when a child need modifications for learning styles. They only fund for severe behaviour or medical. Although his medical is not considered. Then the school says, ok we're done here. Have a good day and leaves.
I stay behind to talk to the dr. He asked me how i am and I told him. I'm irritated, I'm lost, I'm sad, I'm a mix of things. I think it's amazing that he has learned to control his urges but as he ages, things will start to get worse(doctor agrees), I'm worried that he'll get so far behind because they aren't helping now that he won't be able to catch up(doctor agrees). Tells me to enjoy the summer, if there's any problems come back, but we will touch base in October to let him know how the first month of school has gone. He has the same concerns as i do, nik isn't able to handle the full day and he's burning out right after lunch. he's not learning anything but he's being "good" so it's not concerning. ****ERRRRRR screaming in my head****
I don't understand it. This province "helps" everyone, but we can't help our kids. The only concern the school has is that my son needs to learn to administer and carry his own meds. They are not willing to take responsibility for it anymore. He's mentally 4, and I don't feel safe with him carrying his own EPI pen, and inhaler as the last time we tried he was sucking back his inhaler and a kid shot the epi pen off into the air. Why is daycare so different? He is currently going in the morning and after school. At daycare he has a full time aid(1-1), they carrying his meds and administer it. They modify programs for him. The daycare is in the same building. What's the big difference?
So this is my vent. At the moment I'm lost. I don't know what to do anymore because it seems I'm fighting a endless battle and forgot my helmet and shield. I will never give up on him, but sitting at a really low place right now. I don't understand how the province I was so proud to call home for my whole life, has let my family down so much. I don't understand why our children are not looked after the same way other children are.
Well till next time, take care.
As previous readers and those close to me know, Nik going to school has been a 2.5 year process that has been the furthest thing from great. We started right before he turned 4, and so far two schools later. First I'd like to know why schools make promises they know they can't keep. If someone would be just be honest from the start and say, sorry Wendy we just can't do that then at least I'd know my options.
Now just a refresher Nik has SEVERE allergies to almost everything, severe asthma and central & obstructed sleep ap. He also Global Delay and PDD-NOS. Now with all of those you'd think he's get some help and it's shocking how many ppl are surprised when I explain he gets NOTHING. No speech, NO ot, No aid, no modifications, NOTHING. He did get help. Till he turned 5. Then May 31st every single worker/helper/ect closed his file and said Good Luck. Nikolas has learnt to control his aggression which is AMAZING. He no longer attacks children or teachers at school or daycare. That being said, he now brings it all home. I was shocked to find that because he now considered "mild autism" the government WILL NOT fund him, or assist him in school. I've said from day one, it doesn't matter is they are mild or severe they should all be given the same help and support. If we don't support our children now, they will suffer in the long term.
So yesterday was our 2nd follow up at MATC, the last one was a flop as only I showed up(doctor wasn't even there), there was a mix up though so I know it wasn't his fault. However, yesterday I walked into the building not knowing who would all show up as that's how my "team" works. All of a sudden the Principal and my son's teacher walk in the door. So awkward silence, then our wonderful nurse calls us into the room. Our amazing doctor walks in happy as always. We go through the introduction of everyone and I get the famous question, "Where's CSS?" For a year now we've had 6 meetings at MATC and never once has CSS showed up. I answer with "no clue". So we start the meeting anyways. My doctor asks me how things are, how was the move, hows Nik adjusting, ect.. The move went amazing for Nik. Back to daycare has been wonderful. School-"NO idea, they don't communicate". So he asks the school. I'm on pins n needles because i have no idea what they are going to say. "Nik's adjusted wonderfully. His emotions are extreme, he's either very happy or very mad. He's stubborn, has problem completing tasks that he doesn't like. Socially he's doing great. The dr, " that's amazing. So glad to hear. Now let's talk about services, and academics." Well he has nothing. We didn't want to throw too many ppl at him being a new school.(me-BS)He's struggling with academics,doesn't participate in class discussions, completes his tasks but never goes above n beyond on anything. Dr-" so he's controlling his urges but not participating?", " well he sits and rocks, bites his clothes, stares at ceiling, plays with shoes, but NEVER raises his hand to answer, just sits in his own world. " "We're very happy that there has been no reports to the office for his actions." We have no concerns. He can't articulate language, and doesn't enjoy language activities.
So I'm sitting there being irritated, biting my tongue listening..You have NO concerns? He's sitting rocking, and looking at walls NOT LEARNING, but because he hasn't thrown a chair at you he's fine? Dr asks if there is tools or books or programs we can work on during summer to catch him up as he's not fully ready for grade 1. We get the reply, well we don't send stuff like that home. it's not our job. Your job? Your an EDUCATOR. Your job is to educate my child. Then they go on to hump n ha over services n funding for next year. There is NO plan. They are just moving him to grade one and seeing how things go. Apparently because he's controlled at the moment, the government doesn't think he needs assistance. They also don't fund when a child need modifications for learning styles. They only fund for severe behaviour or medical. Although his medical is not considered. Then the school says, ok we're done here. Have a good day and leaves.
I stay behind to talk to the dr. He asked me how i am and I told him. I'm irritated, I'm lost, I'm sad, I'm a mix of things. I think it's amazing that he has learned to control his urges but as he ages, things will start to get worse(doctor agrees), I'm worried that he'll get so far behind because they aren't helping now that he won't be able to catch up(doctor agrees). Tells me to enjoy the summer, if there's any problems come back, but we will touch base in October to let him know how the first month of school has gone. He has the same concerns as i do, nik isn't able to handle the full day and he's burning out right after lunch. he's not learning anything but he's being "good" so it's not concerning. ****ERRRRRR screaming in my head****
I don't understand it. This province "helps" everyone, but we can't help our kids. The only concern the school has is that my son needs to learn to administer and carry his own meds. They are not willing to take responsibility for it anymore. He's mentally 4, and I don't feel safe with him carrying his own EPI pen, and inhaler as the last time we tried he was sucking back his inhaler and a kid shot the epi pen off into the air. Why is daycare so different? He is currently going in the morning and after school. At daycare he has a full time aid(1-1), they carrying his meds and administer it. They modify programs for him. The daycare is in the same building. What's the big difference?
So this is my vent. At the moment I'm lost. I don't know what to do anymore because it seems I'm fighting a endless battle and forgot my helmet and shield. I will never give up on him, but sitting at a really low place right now. I don't understand how the province I was so proud to call home for my whole life, has let my family down so much. I don't understand why our children are not looked after the same way other children are.
Well till next time, take care.
Woe Canada, I Thought You Cared...
Wow, this story really made my toes curl. I can not believe that a family that contributes to society (the father is an entrepreneur, a son is becoming a dentist), is being forced out of our country because their son has autism. Apparently, this child's autism costs the government too much money... What about the money they've wilfully taken from this family in the form of taxes? As a successful business man, I'm certain this father and his soon to be dentist son will be paying a large amount in taxes, probably more than the government will spend in the care of this family's child with autism. It's sickening.
http://timestranscript.canadaeast.com/news/article/1412483
Dayton gets a full time aid in school, and in the level three funding application, his school had asked the government for $30,000.00. I can assure you, Dayton's father and I jointly pay a lot more that $30,000.00 in taxes on our pay cheques, never mind what we pay in GST, PST and now in fuel tax.
Living as a Pharmacy Technician Instructor in Winnipeg, I've taught many immigrants in a local college. They've all been hard workers, dedicated students to their studies and wonderful human beings. However, they did not support themselves. They got a free education from our government, simply by entering our country and province. Each low income housing facility in Winnipeg has four empty suites just in case an immigrant needs free shelter. So it seems to me that this family is being discriminated against due to their child having autism. Because their financial welfare is certainly NOT in issue.
So what if his child's care is expensive? We have tons of money put in ridiculous places. Maybe if we had better money management, we wouldn't have this problem.
Reading this story made me ashamed to call myself a Canadian...
Until next time, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
http://timestranscript.canadaeast.com/news/article/1412483
Dayton gets a full time aid in school, and in the level three funding application, his school had asked the government for $30,000.00. I can assure you, Dayton's father and I jointly pay a lot more that $30,000.00 in taxes on our pay cheques, never mind what we pay in GST, PST and now in fuel tax.
Living as a Pharmacy Technician Instructor in Winnipeg, I've taught many immigrants in a local college. They've all been hard workers, dedicated students to their studies and wonderful human beings. However, they did not support themselves. They got a free education from our government, simply by entering our country and province. Each low income housing facility in Winnipeg has four empty suites just in case an immigrant needs free shelter. So it seems to me that this family is being discriminated against due to their child having autism. Because their financial welfare is certainly NOT in issue.
So what if his child's care is expensive? We have tons of money put in ridiculous places. Maybe if we had better money management, we wouldn't have this problem.
Reading this story made me ashamed to call myself a Canadian...
Until next time, consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
I've Got a Bone To Pick With You
I'd like to thank all the wonderful people who messaged me on facebook and emailed me for their concern for my health as well as all the followers who have emailed me telling me they missed my blogging. I'm beginning to feel half human again, although still very tired. I will have my ultrasound for my kidneys tomorrow and see where that leads me... Thanks again for your get well wishes, and for letting me know I have been missed!
Yes... It appears Dayton 'passion' for guns after his little chit chat with the police seems to have curbed his appetite for the pretend play of weapons. His new passion? Bone books.
I know, a little pricey to get the whole complete set, but Dayton's the type that if he's going to have one book that comes of a set, he must have all of them... That's where his OCD kicks into overdrive. Also, he's impatient, and unfortunately for me, we have a freaking postal strike. Not wanting to take any chances, I hit our closest Chapters and bought the complete set, along with the prequel and sequel to the nine books for a whopping $145.00. I know, you think I'm nuts, but for those of you with a child on the spectrum who struggles with reading, you can understand that as a parent, you would do whatever it takes and spend whatever the amount of money to encourage your child to read. The best thing about these books is that they're like a comic book, so Dayton gets the visual pictures of what's happening, the wording is in bubbles above the speaker, showing Dayton who is speaking, and he sees the words.
He picked up his first Bone book at the school library, so if they carry it at the school, there should be no issues over how appropriate it is for him to read these books, at least one can hope.
Another passion that's surfaced... Bayblades. Oh yes... It seems those things are back, and there's other children where we live that love the Bayblading as well. That's awesome. Before I knew it, Dayton sat outside in a circle of five other children like a catnip crazed cat, without arguing, or using his hands, remembering to use his words and played with FIVE children. Dayton's max number of kids he can play with at a given time seems to run at about two.
Even though he came in third place, he didn't end up having a meltdown. Needless to say, I am thrilled!!!
One more week and a half, and school will officially be over, with summer break ahead. I can hardly wait. While school life has improved with my little guy, I really look forward to not having to feel on pins and needles all day, and never having to let go of my cell phone, just in case. I look forward to no more phone calls from the school, no more threats of suspension, no more early pick ups and being able to relax. I'm thinking of drowning my phone in the swimming pool...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Yes... It appears Dayton 'passion' for guns after his little chit chat with the police seems to have curbed his appetite for the pretend play of weapons. His new passion? Bone books.
I know, a little pricey to get the whole complete set, but Dayton's the type that if he's going to have one book that comes of a set, he must have all of them... That's where his OCD kicks into overdrive. Also, he's impatient, and unfortunately for me, we have a freaking postal strike. Not wanting to take any chances, I hit our closest Chapters and bought the complete set, along with the prequel and sequel to the nine books for a whopping $145.00. I know, you think I'm nuts, but for those of you with a child on the spectrum who struggles with reading, you can understand that as a parent, you would do whatever it takes and spend whatever the amount of money to encourage your child to read. The best thing about these books is that they're like a comic book, so Dayton gets the visual pictures of what's happening, the wording is in bubbles above the speaker, showing Dayton who is speaking, and he sees the words.
He picked up his first Bone book at the school library, so if they carry it at the school, there should be no issues over how appropriate it is for him to read these books, at least one can hope.
Another passion that's surfaced... Bayblades. Oh yes... It seems those things are back, and there's other children where we live that love the Bayblading as well. That's awesome. Before I knew it, Dayton sat outside in a circle of five other children like a catnip crazed cat, without arguing, or using his hands, remembering to use his words and played with FIVE children. Dayton's max number of kids he can play with at a given time seems to run at about two.
Even though he came in third place, he didn't end up having a meltdown. Needless to say, I am thrilled!!!
One more week and a half, and school will officially be over, with summer break ahead. I can hardly wait. While school life has improved with my little guy, I really look forward to not having to feel on pins and needles all day, and never having to let go of my cell phone, just in case. I look forward to no more phone calls from the school, no more threats of suspension, no more early pick ups and being able to relax. I'm thinking of drowning my phone in the swimming pool...
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
Friday, 3 June 2011
Ah yes... the swimming pool!
Imagine what the world's largest checker's board would look like... That is what it is like to have a child with autism. If you don't think several moves ahead, you're going down, in the game of chess, you're facing a check mate. While this may seem simple to some folks, let me assure you, it is not easy to out think a child with autism. Their way of thinking is just 'different,' and therefore, so is our parenting of these 'think outside of the box' children.
Dayton's way of thinking pretty much goes along these lines: "There's nothing that can't be solved with a calm collected mind, an aluminum baseball bat, and a shiny pair of stainless steel nunchuks. I don't have OCD, I just want things done my way, 'cause it's soooooo much better. Follow the rules, or I'll call 911. I know you said no, but I really want it, so I'm gonna do it, no matter what the consequences are. Finder's keeper's is not the same is stealing. This is my routine, don't mess with the system. Are you talkin' to me? 'Cause if I don't like what'cha saying, I'll kick you (or call 911). There's no pinching in wrestling. Vancouver Canucks are the only hockey team that matter, don't you dare defy me on this. I only do school work for Mr. J, not you. I want to do my school work in the hallway, so I have to do something bad to get sent to the hallway. I always play on the swings at recess, get off, it's my swing - ALWAYS (going back to this is my routine, don't mess with the system). He started the fight, I must finish it, cause I can't move on until I'm done with him. If you don't listen to me the first time, I'll push you to get my point across, I'll only tell you once (and yet, I've got to tell him three times to pick up his socks). Even when I'm wrong, I'm right. If I am smiling at you, you should be worried." etc. etc. etc...
A lot of the time, Dayton gets so caught up in what he wants to do with the kids, and when they transition to another game, Dayton sometimes is not able to transition. Kids are screaming "stop it Dayton," (especially if they're transitioning from tag to playing ball or something lower paced), not understanding he's just not able to stop and move on to the next game they're planning. They view Dayton as a little puke who pays attention 2% of the time and not listening 98% of the time.
And so, every time he goes outside (the play ground is practically in my back yard, as is the swimming pool), I must accompany Dayton. I can not just sit on my patio and 'listen.' I sit out there at the play ground, on my camping chair and play referee, cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. I sit there and I am two seconds from being on Dayton like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. Anything goes down, I'm there, pronto.
Along the way, we're guaranteed to meet a new kid, and I dread those days (see this is my routine, don't mess with the system). Ugh. If the new kid on the block is old enough, I can try to explain autism to them. Just about every time the kid will say "So you mean he's not normal..." and I say "ME? Dayton? Normal?? How can you insult us in this way!" I always smile and wink at the kid, so he knows I'm trying to have a little fun with him, but deep down, I'm not having fun... What I really want to do is smack the kid aside the head, but I'm pretending to be the adult here and must sit pretty and maintain my 'authority.'
And now... Our swimming pool is supposed to open this afternoon... Ugh. Is your body bikini ready yet? 'Cause mine sure ain't. Hasn't been since 2002. I tried going to the gym, I really, really did. The last time I went, I noticed something peculiar that I had managed to miss on my very first visit... I was the fattest chick in the place. I spun on my heel and walked straight to the nearest McDonald's (right across the street) and buried my sorrows in a McFlurry, thinking someone needs to open up a gym for fat chicks, ya know what I mean?
Anyhow... So no, I am not looking forward to the walk of shame to the swimming pool, in my bathing suit, where I will no doubt be the biggest girl again. I make sure to wear a sarong, so it's really only a few second that the sun sees my legs and rump. But hey, it's not like it's a long walk. It's not like I can sit by the pool with one of 'em drinks with a pretty little umbrella in it and watch Dayton swim... Nope, I gotta be in the pool with him, very far from relaxing when he keeps trying to drown me. He finds it funny when I gasp for air and turn blue in the face... Which saves me in a way, because once I'm in the water, no one can see the rest of my body, and I think I have a very pretty face. Yeah, my babe's got my back.
Wish me luck, and consider yourselves hugged!
Lou
Dayton's way of thinking pretty much goes along these lines: "There's nothing that can't be solved with a calm collected mind, an aluminum baseball bat, and a shiny pair of stainless steel nunchuks. I don't have OCD, I just want things done my way, 'cause it's soooooo much better. Follow the rules, or I'll call 911. I know you said no, but I really want it, so I'm gonna do it, no matter what the consequences are. Finder's keeper's is not the same is stealing. This is my routine, don't mess with the system. Are you talkin' to me? 'Cause if I don't like what'cha saying, I'll kick you (or call 911). There's no pinching in wrestling. Vancouver Canucks are the only hockey team that matter, don't you dare defy me on this. I only do school work for Mr. J, not you. I want to do my school work in the hallway, so I have to do something bad to get sent to the hallway. I always play on the swings at recess, get off, it's my swing - ALWAYS (going back to this is my routine, don't mess with the system). He started the fight, I must finish it, cause I can't move on until I'm done with him. If you don't listen to me the first time, I'll push you to get my point across, I'll only tell you once (and yet, I've got to tell him three times to pick up his socks). Even when I'm wrong, I'm right. If I am smiling at you, you should be worried." etc. etc. etc...
A lot of the time, Dayton gets so caught up in what he wants to do with the kids, and when they transition to another game, Dayton sometimes is not able to transition. Kids are screaming "stop it Dayton," (especially if they're transitioning from tag to playing ball or something lower paced), not understanding he's just not able to stop and move on to the next game they're planning. They view Dayton as a little puke who pays attention 2% of the time and not listening 98% of the time.
And so, every time he goes outside (the play ground is practically in my back yard, as is the swimming pool), I must accompany Dayton. I can not just sit on my patio and 'listen.' I sit out there at the play ground, on my camping chair and play referee, cleverly disguised as a responsible adult. I sit there and I am two seconds from being on Dayton like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. Anything goes down, I'm there, pronto.
Along the way, we're guaranteed to meet a new kid, and I dread those days (see this is my routine, don't mess with the system). Ugh. If the new kid on the block is old enough, I can try to explain autism to them. Just about every time the kid will say "So you mean he's not normal..." and I say "ME? Dayton? Normal?? How can you insult us in this way!" I always smile and wink at the kid, so he knows I'm trying to have a little fun with him, but deep down, I'm not having fun... What I really want to do is smack the kid aside the head, but I'm pretending to be the adult here and must sit pretty and maintain my 'authority.'
And now... Our swimming pool is supposed to open this afternoon... Ugh. Is your body bikini ready yet? 'Cause mine sure ain't. Hasn't been since 2002. I tried going to the gym, I really, really did. The last time I went, I noticed something peculiar that I had managed to miss on my very first visit... I was the fattest chick in the place. I spun on my heel and walked straight to the nearest McDonald's (right across the street) and buried my sorrows in a McFlurry, thinking someone needs to open up a gym for fat chicks, ya know what I mean?
Anyhow... So no, I am not looking forward to the walk of shame to the swimming pool, in my bathing suit, where I will no doubt be the biggest girl again. I make sure to wear a sarong, so it's really only a few second that the sun sees my legs and rump. But hey, it's not like it's a long walk. It's not like I can sit by the pool with one of 'em drinks with a pretty little umbrella in it and watch Dayton swim... Nope, I gotta be in the pool with him, very far from relaxing when he keeps trying to drown me. He finds it funny when I gasp for air and turn blue in the face... Which saves me in a way, because once I'm in the water, no one can see the rest of my body, and I think I have a very pretty face. Yeah, my babe's got my back.
Wish me luck, and consider yourselves hugged!
Lou
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
911 Call
Oy vey...
I had Dayton's 6 year old buddy and his mom, sister and sister's boyfriend come over for supper. Glen made us all his famous chili, and for those of you that love his chili, the 'secret ingredient' he won't tell anyone is half a gallon of ketchup. Yes Glen, I'm sorry, but the truth must be told! Sometimes he even puts a carton of molasses in it. Everyone eating it walks away from the table feeling bloated, flatulent and suffer from heartburn. Fortunately my guests loved it (with the exception of Dayton and I), even having seconds.
While the adults go outside for 'adult conversation,' the boys play their hearts out. Pretty soon, Dayton's little buddy complains that Dayton is using his toy cell phone to call 911 because he's not playing how Dayton wants him to play. I explain that it's only a toy, and he can't possibly reach anyone through it. Dayton must have heard me...
Minutes later, Dayton's little buddy says that Dayton is using the real phone to call 911. Glen hollers at Dayton to bring the phone to him, forgetting I have 3 cordless phones in my home. Ooooops. Thinking no more of the situation, we continue enjoying the adult company. Our guests leave us shortly after 9pm.
At 10:30pm, we hear a knock on the door. I open the door to a pair of police officers who ask me if I'm OK. They had received a 911 call over a domestic dispute?! O.M.G. I quickly call for Dayton to get out of bed and meet the concerned police officers...
Dayton sees the police standing at the door, and looks scared. Good! He should be scared... I'm furious... Quick thinking, not possible since I'm stoned on Tylenol 3's trying to battle the pain of these cursed kidney stones... I'm praying the police officers don't realize I'm under the influence and ask me if I'd been drinking...
"Dayton, did you call the police?"
"No, I called 911."
Police officer number 1: "Why did you call 911?" And I know the answer to this, as you just can't ask Dayton 'why.'
"I don't know."
Me: "Dayton has autism, I'm sorry, let me try to ask. Dayton, what happened for you to call 911?"
"He (referring to his friend) broke the rules of the game. He broke the 'law.'" Oh my dear Lord...
Police officer 2: "Dayton, do you know that calling 911 when there's no emergency is against the law?"
"But it was an emergency." Ugh!!!
Finally, my brain kicks in and I think of Dayton's obsession with guns... I tell the officer of the incident of the BB gun, where he took his buddy's BB gun and shot his little buddy just above the eye. I ask the officers to talk to Dayton about the dangers of guns.
Police officer 1: "Dayton, guns are very, very dangerous. If you were standing at the end of the hallway with a toy gun, and I walked in this home, I wouldn't know if it was a real gun or a toy gun, and I would have to draw my gun out and point it at you. I would scream for you to drop your gun, and if you chose not to, I might have to use my gun."
"Have you shot anyone with your gun?" The police officer has Dayton's full attention.
"Yes, I've had to use my gun, and it never ends well Dayton. Guns can kill people. They're not like video games where you have a second chance. Getting shot is very painful, and the person getting shot does not get back up on his feet."
The officer further explains how if he was just a little older, he could have gone to 'juvenile detention' over the BB incident, which he explains is kind of like jail. Kids are removed from their homes and their parents may only be allowed to come and visit them for an hour a week. He stressed to Dayton that BB guns are dangerous too, and should not be pointed at people, even if you don't think the BB gun is loaded. These guns are dangerous and shooting someone with it is an offense.
Police officer 2: "You wouldn't want to not be able to see your mom every day, would you Dayton?"
"No, I guess not."
"Then you have to be more responsible, and take this gun business very, very seriously. I don't want to have to come pick you up and take you away."
I hope some of this sunk in for Dayton. In the mean time, just to be certain, I've hidden all my cordless phones, while stoned on Tylenol 3's... This means I can't find the blasted things. So if you call, please be patient. I may not find the phone right away.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
I had Dayton's 6 year old buddy and his mom, sister and sister's boyfriend come over for supper. Glen made us all his famous chili, and for those of you that love his chili, the 'secret ingredient' he won't tell anyone is half a gallon of ketchup. Yes Glen, I'm sorry, but the truth must be told! Sometimes he even puts a carton of molasses in it. Everyone eating it walks away from the table feeling bloated, flatulent and suffer from heartburn. Fortunately my guests loved it (with the exception of Dayton and I), even having seconds.
While the adults go outside for 'adult conversation,' the boys play their hearts out. Pretty soon, Dayton's little buddy complains that Dayton is using his toy cell phone to call 911 because he's not playing how Dayton wants him to play. I explain that it's only a toy, and he can't possibly reach anyone through it. Dayton must have heard me...
Minutes later, Dayton's little buddy says that Dayton is using the real phone to call 911. Glen hollers at Dayton to bring the phone to him, forgetting I have 3 cordless phones in my home. Ooooops. Thinking no more of the situation, we continue enjoying the adult company. Our guests leave us shortly after 9pm.
At 10:30pm, we hear a knock on the door. I open the door to a pair of police officers who ask me if I'm OK. They had received a 911 call over a domestic dispute?! O.M.G. I quickly call for Dayton to get out of bed and meet the concerned police officers...
Dayton sees the police standing at the door, and looks scared. Good! He should be scared... I'm furious... Quick thinking, not possible since I'm stoned on Tylenol 3's trying to battle the pain of these cursed kidney stones... I'm praying the police officers don't realize I'm under the influence and ask me if I'd been drinking...
"Dayton, did you call the police?"
"No, I called 911."
Police officer number 1: "Why did you call 911?" And I know the answer to this, as you just can't ask Dayton 'why.'
"I don't know."
Me: "Dayton has autism, I'm sorry, let me try to ask. Dayton, what happened for you to call 911?"
"He (referring to his friend) broke the rules of the game. He broke the 'law.'" Oh my dear Lord...
Police officer 2: "Dayton, do you know that calling 911 when there's no emergency is against the law?"
"But it was an emergency." Ugh!!!
Finally, my brain kicks in and I think of Dayton's obsession with guns... I tell the officer of the incident of the BB gun, where he took his buddy's BB gun and shot his little buddy just above the eye. I ask the officers to talk to Dayton about the dangers of guns.
Police officer 1: "Dayton, guns are very, very dangerous. If you were standing at the end of the hallway with a toy gun, and I walked in this home, I wouldn't know if it was a real gun or a toy gun, and I would have to draw my gun out and point it at you. I would scream for you to drop your gun, and if you chose not to, I might have to use my gun."
"Have you shot anyone with your gun?" The police officer has Dayton's full attention.
"Yes, I've had to use my gun, and it never ends well Dayton. Guns can kill people. They're not like video games where you have a second chance. Getting shot is very painful, and the person getting shot does not get back up on his feet."
The officer further explains how if he was just a little older, he could have gone to 'juvenile detention' over the BB incident, which he explains is kind of like jail. Kids are removed from their homes and their parents may only be allowed to come and visit them for an hour a week. He stressed to Dayton that BB guns are dangerous too, and should not be pointed at people, even if you don't think the BB gun is loaded. These guns are dangerous and shooting someone with it is an offense.
Police officer 2: "You wouldn't want to not be able to see your mom every day, would you Dayton?"
"No, I guess not."
"Then you have to be more responsible, and take this gun business very, very seriously. I don't want to have to come pick you up and take you away."
I hope some of this sunk in for Dayton. In the mean time, just to be certain, I've hidden all my cordless phones, while stoned on Tylenol 3's... This means I can't find the blasted things. So if you call, please be patient. I may not find the phone right away.
Consider yourselves hugged,
Lou
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